Alayziah II: When Loving Him is Complicated (6 page)

Alayziah

I shared my body with four men in my life. The first three I loved and thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. The fourth, Jabari, was so sincere and for me, and the whole vibe that we had was so intimate emotionally and mentally that I just had to feel him physically. Now, with Rell, in between my thighs making my pussy cry, I just wanted him to make me feel… Fuck it. I just needed him to make me
feel
. He was looking at me with those chocolate eyes, biting his lip, teasing the hell out of me. He licked and sucked on my inner thighs so good he had my head spinning. The shit was such a turn on. For him to be so close and yet so far away from my pussy was driving me insane. Now, he was laying here, an inch away from it, just… looking at me.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked and he smiled.

“This is your payback for slapping me when we met,” he said, licking from my clit to my belly button cutting my reply off. “You didn’t want my lips on you then, remember?” he asked, licking my clit like it was an ice cream cone before slurping on it and sticking his middle finger inside me.

I moaned and gripped his head tighter as he began to move his finger in and out of me, licking my clit simultaneously. His tongue went up and down the top of my clit so soft and slow. Then, he looked up at me, went inside my pussy with it deep, pulled out my juices, and sucked on my clit so hard my legs shook each time. The shit was feeling so good I couldn’t even moan or scream. All I could was whimper with each breath I exhaled. The sight of my cum on his lips and chin was becoming too much for me. He looked at my pussy like it was a fucking masterpiece and I swear he was treating it like it was.

“I need to feel you inside of me,” I pleaded.

“Not until you’re mine and mine alone.”

“Rell…” I whined as he lifted himself from me.

“I know you my woman, but am I your man?” he asked, pulling his dick from his pants and my pussy immediately throbbed at the sight of it.

I didn’t even answer him as my mouth opened slightly and I tilted my head.

“Alayziah…”

I looked into his eyes briefly before returning my attention back to his long, thick, and curved dick.

“Am I your man?” he asked again as he began to stroke it.

My hand found its way to my clit as I massaged it at the same speed that he pleasured himself.

“Alayziah…”

“Yes… no… I can’t, Rell. I’m sorry,” I rushed out, removing myself from the bed and heading for the shower.

Lord knows I wanted to trust him. I wanted to love him and be loved by him, but I was just so scared.

Rell

“I’ll fuck it out of her if I must… but, for now, I’m trying to give her the chance to see my love for her before I go there, and if that don’t work I’m just gone leave her ass alone,” I said to Bishop as he puffed on the blunt we were sharing.

He nodded and blew smoke out as he handed the blunt to me. “I feel you, nigga. Al is a lot like Kai. I’d think they were sisters before her and Layyah. I still can’t believe that shit. She just got a lot going on right now. She probably just don’t want to get caught up with you.”

“I understand all that shit, but I ain’t tryna bring that girl no harm. I’m just tryna be here for her. I don’t know why her crazy ass can’t see that.”

Bishop laughed but I was dead serious. I wanted Alayziah, bad, but I wasn’t gone chase her ass for too long. I was too good of a man to be wasting my time on somebody that couldn’t see that. Bishop was the nigga that chased. Shit was fun to him. Wasn’t nothing for me to replace.

“So, have y’all had that talk about y’all past relationships yet? Maybe if you talk to her about the shit and get her to open up she’ll lighten up. You know Kai was giving me a hard time until I made her tell me about Courtney. When she got that shit off her chest, she was open for a nigga.”

“I’ll see what’s up. I got this chick coming to see me in a few minutes, though, say she wants me to produce her album. I tried to send her to Peyton and her sisters but she said she wanted to work with me. You know they got they own lil record label here.”

“How are they doing anyway? I know you gave them Star and the rest of your female clients after Kai and I got married.”

“They doing good. Crazy as shit. Mane, they make us look sane they have so much drama in their lives. That’s probably why ole girl didn’t want to work with them.”

“Ion blame her. I have a hard enough time dealing with one crazy female. I can’t imagine being around all three of them at the same time.”

“How is Kai doing anyway? I know she ready for BJ to get here.”

“Nigga… I don’t think her ass ever gone let me get her pregnant again.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew Kai was giving him hell, especially since he got her pregnant intentionally after he promised he wouldn’t try to do that shit anymore.

“What? What’s wrong with her?”

“She’s just mad at me because I got her pregnant without us being married first. Said she wasn’t ready and all that other bullshit. Ion care, though. It’s gone be worth it when I’m able to hold my lil nigga in my arms.”

“I feel you. You know ma been on me about settling down and shit. Say she ready for some grandkids. I need you to let her have BJ.”

“You know I’m down for that, but BJ just gone make her be on you more.”

Before I could reply, we heard a light knocking on my door. I stood and went to let the woman in. When I let her in, Bishop stood and prepared to leave, but I shot him a look that told him I wanted him to stay. I didn’t know this female so until I got a feel for her I didn’t want to be alone with her. I had too much shit riding on my union with Alayziah to be caught slipping with the next chick, although she was looking good.

She was thick as hell. She had milk chocolate skin. Her hair was in a weave I could tell but she had it curled cute so I gave her credit for that. Her face was cute, but she ain’t have shit on Alayziah. There was something about her face that was familiar like I’d seen her on TV or something but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. After speaking to both of us, she stood in the center of the studio and looked around.

“So, what’s up, Carmen? What exactly do you need my help with?” I asked, pointing to the empty chair next to Bishop.

After she sat down, she looked at me and spoke, “Well… I’m really a church girl, but some shit went down and I think I want to switch over to the R&B lane. I heard you were the hottest producer in Memphis so I wanted you to help me create a sound for myself.”

“Aight… let me hear you sing.”

She looked from me to Bishop before standing and smiling. Once she opened her mouth and began to sing, I was impressed. Her voice was definitely churchy. She had that Kierra Sheard vibe but her voice was just a tad bit deeper. I could definitely rock with her on some Fantasia or Keke Wyatt soul shit.

“Okay, okay I hear you. You definitely can sing, Carmen. Can you write?”

“Nah.”

“Dance?”

“A little.”

“Okay… what you think about using your choir background in your music and performances? Like Fantasia, she takes her listeners to church no matter what she’s singing. That’s your vibe. That should be your lane. Soul. Not R&B.”

“I’m in. What do I need to do?”

“First, you need to decide how you want me to help you. If all you want is for me to create some instrumentals for you and record you then that’s all you’ll get. You’ll have to pay my hourly fee and make sure you list me as your producer. If you want to sign to my label and have me as your manager you won’t have to pay me to record or write for you, but I will need fifteen percent of your record sales and what you make at your shows for the first year, and ten percent afterward for six more years. Matter of fact, I’m not even gone write for you. I’m gone let Kailani or Alayziah write for you. More than likely Alayziah since Kai is pregnant.”

Her eyes lit up when I said Kai and Al’s names and I didn’t know if it was because she knew them or if it was because I was going to let a woman work with her.

“Sounds good to me. I want to sign with you if you think I’m good enough, but I will need some time to talk it over with my dad. I’m a PK and I know he’s going to give me a hard time.”

“That’s cool. Why don’t you talk it over with him and come back to the studio this weekend? I’ll make sure Al is here so y’all can meet and see if y’all gone vibe with each other.”

“Great. I’m so excited.”

I stood and she followed.

“It was nice meeting you. You too,” she said to Bishop.

He just nodded.

I shook my head at his unfriendly ass and walked her to the door.

“Why you so rude, nigga?” I asked, sitting back down.

“Ion like her.”

“Why not? You don’t even know her.”

“Just some about her. Ion like her.”

“Aight. I’ma keep that in mind.”

Carmen

When I saw Alayziah and Rell interacting at her poetry set, I knew he was going to pursue her, and she was putty in his hands, which is why I decided to take him from her. I wanted to show her what it feels like to watch your man pine over someone else. She took mine, so I was definitely going to fuck with hers. I was going to wreck every area of her life until I had enough and I didn’t think I was ever going to get enough.

Alayziah

Layyah forced me to give her my number before we left Miami. She had been sending me Facetime requests all week and I had yet to answer. I knew it wasn’t her fault, but I just didn’t want to deal with her, and the fact that she was in a relationship with Terrell before me really makes me not want to deal with her. Yes, I always wanted siblings but I wanted them with my mother and my father. I didn’t know how I felt about her yet, but one thing I couldn’t deny was the fact that she looked like my father. They had the same light skin, jet-black hair, round faces and high cheekbones. I heard she was crazy so I figured it would be best for me to talk to her on the phone before her ass popped up in Memphis. I’d been staying at a hotel until I was mentally ready to clean my apartment out and buy new furniture.

Terrell had been harassing me about coming to stay with him but I declined. Ever since we spent the night together in Miami, I haven’t been around him as much. I just… didn’t want to start something I knew I wasn’t going to be able to finish. I was tired of loving and losing. I wished he would’ve just let me go like Jabari did, but his stubborn ass would not let me go.

He ended up giving me the money still so I did quit my job. I was about to head to the studio to see him, but I stopped by Bishop and Kailani’s house to check on her and get a feel for Layyah before I did. When I saw Bishop coming out the house with a mile-wide smile on his face, I got out of my car.

“What’s up, Al?” he asked, taking me into his arms.

“Shit, what’s up?” I spoke, hugging him back lightly.

“Rell ain’t got on to you about your mouth yet?” he asked with a smile as I started walking past him and towards their front door.

“He told me I can’t curse when I’m talking to him.”

“Sound like that nigga. Kai’s in the bed. She’s expecting you, though, so gone on upstairs. First room on the right.”

“Aight cool. See ya.”

“Peace.”

After admiring their décor in the front room for a brief second, I walked upstairs and chuckled when I heard Kailani laughing.

“Girl, bye, I am not getting in the middle of y’all. You can’t make her fuck with you. Shit, I wouldn’t fuck with yo crazy ass either. The only reason I’ve been your friend this long is because you won’t let me go.”

I peeked my head inside of her door and smiled. She motioned for me to come in.

“She’s here now. No, I am not. No, Layyah. No. If you want to talk to her, call her phone. Ion care, be mad. Bye and you better be here in two weeks too. If I have this baby and you not here… alright, alright. Bye.”

I laughed at their exchange as she patted her bed for me to sit down.

“Hey, Al. Sorry about that. That was your crazy ass sister.”

“Hey mama. It’s cool. How are you feeling?”

“Girl… I’m good actually. My feet are swollen pretty badly so Bishop won’t let me do anything or go anywhere but other than that I’m cool.”

“So, Bishop Jr. is set to make his arrival soon, huh? I can’t wait! I’m gone be all over your baby. I’m letting you know that now!”

“I don’t even care, girl. You and Layyah can spend the night whenever y’all want to until he gets big enough to leave the house. What’s up with y’all, though? You still don’t want to talk to her?”

I sighed heavily and leaned back on her bed. She naturally pulled my head onto her lap and started playing in my hair as if we’d known each other for years.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t know. I guess she just puts a bad taste in my mouth because she’s the product of my daddy cheating on my mother. I know we had nothing to do with that and I shouldn’t hold that against her… but I can’t help it. Then she’s Rell’s ex? That just makes it even worse, feel me?”

“Yeah, I feel you, but don’t even let that bother you. Rell wants nothing to do with her as far as a relationship is concerned. She cheated on him with my ex so he’s done with her.”

“Damn. That was foul and y’all still mess with her?”

Kailani shrugged. “Yeah, she just grows on you. She’s crazy and selfish as hell but she don’t mean no harm. She wasn’t doing it to be spiteful, she’s just selfish, and her mother raised her and her siblings to go after what they want and say fuck whoever stands in their way. Her mother never married and was never in a relationship with one man. She just used them for money and sex. So, Lay definitely has it honest. I can’t hold that against her, but I told her ass if she ever even thought about coming at Bishop, I was gone kill her ass, friend or not.”

I laughed. I couldn’t see Kai fighting but I guess people said the same thing about me.

“What’s up with you and Rell anyway?” she continued.

I shrugged.

“You still giving him a hard time?”

“Kind of. He wants to commit, but I’m scared.”

“Why?”

I shrugged again. “Just don’t want to be hurt again. Not this soon at least. My heart can’t take another break.”

“I feel you, but I’m telling you Rell is a good man, Alayziah. He’s not on that love them and leave them shit. He’s not going to cheat on you. He’s not going to lie to you. If y’all don’t work, it’ll be because you fucked up or because he gets tired of you not giving him your all or because y’all are too much alike, but Rell would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. He’s too selfless. He’ll hurt himself before he hurts you.”

“How exactly do you know that, Kailani? Just from seeing him get cheated on by Layyah?”

She stopped running her fingers through my hair momentarily before continuing.

“Nah. Me and Rell… we… fucked off.”

I sat up so I could look her in her eyes. “What you mean y’all fucked off?”

“We had a thing for each other. We fought it for as long as we could but Bishop was taking me through so much shit and I was so vulnerable, and Rell was there for me. We almost had sex, but you don’t have to worry about me either. I’m satisfied and committed to my husband. Had he not been acting so foolish, Rell and I wouldn’t have even entertained each other. We just got caught up.”

“So, that’s why you’re fighting so hard for him to find somebody, hunh?”

“Yes, I know firsthand that he’s a good man. He deserves the best. He has so much love to give, Alayziah, and if I honestly felt like you two wouldn’t work, I wouldn’t have even introduced you to him.”

“I hear you.”

“Do you really?”

“I do.”

“Then go and find your man.”