Alexandr's Reluctant Submissive (28 page)

She had nothing to say in response to that because guilt had swamped her, sending her to her knees as the pain, trauma, and agony she’d been carefully keeping locked away managed to get past her guards. God, every word Catrin said was true. While she’d like to blame it on all the drinks she’d had, she continued to cry in great racking sobs as Catrin held her, murmuring comforting things while Jessica soaked her dress with her tears.

When she’d finally managed to settle down enough to release Catrin, she was ashamed at breaking down like this.  “I’m so sorry. You’re right, I am angry, and I’m trying to let it go but it’s so hard.”

“No, no darling, I am sorry, I explained this badly.” Catrin made Jessica lift her chin and meet her gaze. “It happened in the past and has not been repeated. While Alex loves Rya, it is as his sister-in-law. And yes, I do still play with her, but her main lover and submissive is Gia.”

That made Jessica blink. “Rya’s a Mistress?”

“No, she’s a switch, but Mistress to Gia…much like I am Mistress to you,” Catrin mused. “Now, let us clean up before someone comes in here and tells Nico and Alex we’ve been crying. You know that would throw them both into a panic.”

She helped Jessica to her feet then led them both over to the sinks as they began to repair their damaged makeup.

Her voice still thick with tears, Jessica sighed at the sight of her reddened eyes. “I hate this insecurity, this jealousy. I wish it would just go away because it makes me so fucking pissed over things I rationally know I can’t control. I’m not like this, really I’m not.”

“Do not be so hard on yourself, sweet girl.” Catrin turned her head and examined her hair. “Your life is not an easy one and you have been so strong, but you are also allowed also to be human.”

Sighing and deciding her face was as good as it was going to get, she stood up straight and squared her shoulders. “I need to talk to Alex. We need to clear the air so this isn’t hanging between us. I promised myself I’d tell him when something was bothering me, and this is bothering me.”

“Wait,” Catrin squawked as Jessica strode off for the door, still wobbling in her heels but determined to talk to her husband. “Jessica, you have been drinking. Now is not good time for this.”

She shrugged Catrin off, the woman’s protests lost in the noise of the club. Yes, the room was still spinning a bit, and she couldn’t feel the tip of her nose because it had gone numb, but she wasn’t that drunk. Seriously. She was fine. The crowd parted like an invisible force field extended from her, then she felt a presence behind her and found one of her bodyguards following and scanning the mass of people with a decidedly unfriendly expression.

Ignoring him, she thanked God for her height because she could see over some of the people and that allowed her to spot Alex, talking with Dimitri and a devastatingly handsome guy in probably his late thirties. He had almost shoulder length golden-blonde hair streaked with silver at the temples and held back by a leather band. A tattoo on the side of his thick neck with the name “Sarah” on it caught her attention and as she got closer and got an eyeful of the woman at his side she understood his desire to have her name on his body. Smiling up at him was a stunning young woman with long pale-blonde hair, a gorgeous face, and a body that looked as if it was right out of the pages of a swimsuit calendar encased in a little red dress. There were many beautiful women here, but the one who had to be Sarah outshone them all.

The woman was scanning the crowd and saw Jessica coming first. She elbowed the man standing next to her, who followed her gaze. Alex did as well and when their eyes locked, his narrowed. Okay, so she was a blotchy-faced mess, but he had no right to look so judgmental. She was even walking kinda-sorta straight.

Her drunken emotions swung from guilt to anger as she suddenly hated the fact that he knew what Rya looked like naked. Her chest hurt and a stinging sweat broke out over her body as she came to a stop before him, swaying in her heels alarmingly before he reached out to steady her. Anger pushed aside her hurt feelings and she glared at Alex, knowing in the back of her mind she was being totally irrational, but unable to stop herself.

“Don’t touch me, you asshole! I can stand on my own two feet without any man’s help.”

Alex frowned, Dimitri frowned, the man with the neck tattoo frowned, but Sarah grinned.

“Jessica, compose yourself,” Alex said, his warning tone loud and clear.

“I am composed.” She stiffened her spine then lifted her chin, hoping he didn’t notice how she had to squint slightly to focus on him in all the shifting lights.

“You are being rude to our guests.”

Realizing that what he said was true, she turned to the couple watching them curiously. “I’m so sorry to be rude like this, but communication is important in a relationship and I need to let my husband know that I’m super pissed at him. I love him very much, so he has to know he’s a jerk. It’s an important foundation.”

The dangerous-looking man cracked a wide smile that set dimples in his cheeks and his wife burst out laughing. His deep voice was so seductive she was sure her heart skipped a beat as he growled out, “That’s fine, sugar. You’re right, communication is important to a healthy relationship. Sarah and I are gonna head on over to the bar and do some shots with some friends of ours so you can work on that foundation of yours. It was nice meetin’ you, Jessica.”

An important fact suddenly occurred to her and she reached out and pulled a startled Sarah into a hug. “Wait, you’re Mimi’s daughter! Please tell her thank you for saving Alex’s life. I miss her. She makes really good sugar cookies for chick-flick night and she smells nice.”

“That she does,” Sarah gently extracted herself from Jessica’s arms and grinned at her. “We have got to party together before I leave. Rya has my cell phone number, please give me a call.”

“I will.”

She turned back to Alex, her anger returning in an instant as she saw he was staring at her like he was really pissed off. As if he had any reason or right to be mad at
her
. Dimly she knew the majority of the VIP section was watching them, but her focus was entirely on her glowering husband. She lowered her voice, leaned unsteadily into him, then pointed her finger at his hard chest.

“Considering I just found out you’ve messed around with Rya, I’m really fucking calm.”

“Enough,” her husband growled. “I will address your concerns, but I will not indulge you acting like this in public. Stop your temper tantrum, now, or you will be punished.”

Her lower lip quivered and with her filter missing, the words that she knew would hurt him tumbled from her mouth, “Maybe we need some space.”

That was the last thing in the world she wanted, but her heart hurt so damn bad even though she knew she was being incredibly selfish and unfair. She was out of control, spinning within her own head and drowning herself in her fears. The instinct to sever all ties and protect herself like she’d had to do when she left him before was strong. Fucking hell, she knew she was acting like a crazy woman, but she seemed helpless to stop herself.

Staring up into his eyes, she blinked away the tears that filled hers again, hating how raw she felt at this moment, in front of all these strangers.

Why did she think confronting him here was a good idea?

He snarled, and before she knew it, she was slung over his shoulder with her ass in the air and he was striding across the room.

She would have been kicking and screaming at him to put her down, but the alcohol in her stomach was threatening to come up as his shoulder pressed into it, so all her energy was spent on struggling not to barf all over his magnificent ass.

By the time he set her on her feet she was gagging and had to sit down on a gray suede couch while struggling to keep the liquid down. If she started throwing up, she would never stop. God, she hadn’t been this drunk since college. Her head spun and she sucked in deep breaths, slowly realizing in the quiet of whatever room she was in that she wasn’t really that drunk, more like having some kind of emotional breakdown. A tremor started in her belly and spread to the rest of her body until she was shaking.

With a low sigh, he took a step forward then pressed her reluctant head to his muscular thigh. She resisted the comfort of his touch for all of a moment before allowing the warmth of his energy to flow over her, soothe her. As her body relaxed further, she mused that her physical reaction to him was so strong it was like a narcotic. Her heartbeat finally slowed and she rubbed her face against the silken cloth of his dress pants.

The anger that had run her mouth earlier had vanished, leaving her feeling once again guilty, but now also ashamed at her actions out there. Shit, she’d yelled at him in front of everyone like one of those crazy drunk bitches she always hated. Double shit, she’d said that stuff in front of Dimitri.

“Who told you?” Alex asked, his voice distant despite his fingers caressing her cheek.

“It doesn’t matter—”

“Who told you!” he thundered.

Startling, she tried to pull away but his firm grip on the back of her neck kept her pressed to him, as though he needed to keep her there. Her voice came out breathy as she replied, “Catrin, but it wasn’t in a bad way. She was trying to help.”

He didn’t respond, instead releasing her then holding his phone up to his ear before he said in Russian, “Nico, your wife took it upon herself to tell Jessica about what happened at the lodge when we had to throw the Sokolov’s off our trail. Have Luka get my bag from the limo and bring it to me. Yes. Please take care of it. I will be dealing with Jessica’s disobedience myself.”

“Wait!” she said as she imagined how upset Nico was going to be. “Please, don’t get her in trouble. She was trying to help.”

He calmly put his phone back into his pocket, then began to take off his tie. “Do not worry, she will be getting a punishment very similar to yours.”

“Punishment?” She sat on the edge of the couch, glancing around the small private lounge done in shades of gray, cream, and lilac, looking for a possible escape route from the very determined man now removing his jacket.

“Yes, punishment. Your behavior was disrespectful and dangerous. Distracted me in a public place, had the potential to make me look weak in front of my men, and insulted our guests. Your conduct was not first impression I wished for you to make on Beach and Sarah. They are from the United States and were looking forward to meeting with you. Mimi has spoken very highly of you to them, about what a sweet woman you are. Unfortunately, they did not get to see that side of you tonight.”

Her lower lip trembled and she looked away. “I’m sorry.”

“As am I,
dorogoya
.” He cupped her chin. “You are suffering. I will take you away from your worries, from your fears. It is my privilege as your Master to make you fly so deep that nothing will touch you. But I will not make it easy on you.”

Her nipples hardened beneath her dress and her skin grew sensitive under his dominant gaze. “Yes, Master.”

Taking a seat in a large, lilac leather wing-back chair, he motioned to her. “Remove your dress and come here.”

Excitement tingled through her blood, making her nipples tightened as she slid her clothing off. If he noticed her arousal, he ignored it, looking at her in an impersonal way she didn’t like. She was used to his open adoration and worship; being denied that affection hurt.

Determined to get in his good graces again, needing to renew their connection and reassure herself that he loved her, she assumed the standing submissive position that he preferred. Still wearing her heels, she widened her stance then laced her arms together behind her back with her gaze on the ground, only wobbling a little bit as she tried to find her balance. It wasn’t the most comfortable of stances, but it displayed her body to her husband and she was reassured to hear his small inhalation at the sight.

“Come here, lay on my lap.”

Following his commands was as natural as breathing to her. There was a sense of anticipation in the air, like when a roller coaster began to climb the first big hill, along with a small twinge of fear. When Alex punished her it was never easy or fun, but it was always an experience like no other. And afterwards she would feel renewed and energized, like she’d shed a weight from her back that she didn’t realize she’d been carrying. She needed that release, and knew her husband needed it as well. They were a perfectly matched pair in that aspect. His need to own her and her need to serve him fitting together like a lock and key.

She draped herself over his lap carefully, his erection pressing into her rib cage. Yes, her husband had a bit of a sadistic streak and he enjoyed punishing her. Heat flooded her pussy as she wondered if he’d have her suck him off after he spanked her. The mental image of him climaxing while she drank him down hit her right in the pit of her belly, and she shivered when Alex began to arrange her to his liking.

His rough hand moved over her back, stroking her skin, soothing her even as she fought the urge to wiggle. Surely she couldn’t be looking forward to the pain? The moisture welling between her legs begged to differ and Alex skimmed his fingertips between her nether lips, playing with the slick arousal coating her sex. He made a pleased noised and continued to toy with her until she was making breathy little moans. The big pad of his thumb pressed down on her clit and she arched her back.

Without any hint that it was coming, his free hand slapped her ass, hard.

She yelped, then moaned when his thumb pressed her pulsing nub.

“You love this, my filthy girl,” he whispered.

“Yes, Master.”

“So do I, but I do not think you will like what is to come.”

He rained another series of spanks over her butt and upper thighs, the skin beginning to burn enough that she had to bite her lip to help her endure the hurt.

The constant hits paused and she sucked in a sobbing breath, unaware that she’d begun crying.