Alexia Eden (FairyTales Don't Exist) (3 page)

I quickly swallow down that little spark of happiness when I hear laughter coming from the kitchen. I walk to the fridge and get out a soda sitting on the chair at the island thinking about the big dog I saw – I forget that my mom and Amber are still laughing and chatting away until they become silent. I find them staring at me with stupid expressions on their faces.

“I was wondering when you were coming back, you look as if you saw a ghost Hun, what’s wrong? Why are your pants so dirty?” My -at this point tipsy- mother says.

“Nothing’s wrong, umm… Amber? Did you know there’s a small waterfall down in the wooded area out back?” I say looking now focusing my attention on Amber.

Amber goes tense and seems completely sober now. “Lexi you shouldn’t go out there in those woods, it’s near those people I told you about and it’s not safe for a girl like you."

“I found this big dog, it was pretty cool, he came outta nowhere, I was scared at first but he was so friendly. I’m guessing it was a boy, I just…” I burst out rambling excited about the dog in the woods but I’m quickly interrupted by my mother.

“Alexia it wasn’t a dog, those are wolves! You need to stay away from them! Stay outta those woods too, no good can come from you going in there!”

“Okay mother.” I say with my head down then head back toward my room as my excitement fades, too tired from the long drive and the day I’ve had to argue with this woman. I turn to see my mother and Amber whispering  but they both stop when they see me looking. Shaking my head, “whatever…”

It’s been a few days now, I’ve been keeping myself busy, cleaning the house and even the garden outside our trailer while moms been at work. Despite my mother warning me to stay away for the woods I’ve snuck out every night to go to the waterfall and every single time I was there, the brown wolf was there too. He would lie next to me with his head on my lap while I scratched his head and told him stories about my parents and about when I was younger. I knew it wasn’t safe out in the woods but I felt drawn to the wolf and I was able to tell him all the things I’ve kept in for so long, I knew as long as he was there I was safe. I didn’t feel so alone anymore, even if I was talking to a damn dog, that damn dog was the only thing that was able to break through my walls and make me feel happy again, it gave me hope that maybe I would be okay after all. Maybe I could get through this. I wasn’t sure if this happiness would last but I knew for sure that I was going to cherish that damn dog and keep it close until my happiness ran its course, however long that might be.

Sitting on the bench on the patio, drinking from my water bottle I see mom’s car pull up and out jumps her and Amber laughing and hanging on each other as if they were teenage girls.

“Get ready hun, we’re going out tonight and you’re coming with us, you need to get out of this house and have some fun!” Amber says running up to me dragging me behind toward mom’s room. I follow, not really sure what to say – obviously I want to get out of this house but not sure if I want to go anywhere with those two nuts.

“Hmmm what should you wear?” Mom says as she looks through the clothes in her closet tapping her long red nails against the closet door.

“Ooh what about this Lex? And you can wear those black boots of yours, the ones that go just above your ankles?” She says as she holds up a pair of skinny jeans with a black and gold vest, it’s actually something I would wear.

“Or….” She drags on, pulling out this little leopard print dress. “You could wear this?” she says smirking at me.

“Nope that’s okay this will do, thanks.” I say snatching the jeans and vest scurrying away as her an Amber laugh at my response.

Moments like this remind me of how much I miss my mom, the sober one, not Georgina. I’m actually excited to spend time with her, I haven’t spent time with her for a while but since she seems as if she’s in a good mood tonight, I have a feeling that I could actually be able to enjoy myself and act my age for once.

After getting out the shower and dressing up, I blow-dry my hair and straighten it so it’s sleek, smooth and bearable. I decide on a smoky eye and some pink blush on my cheeks with pink lip gloss. My leather jacket fits well with the outfit I’m wearing and I give myself a last look in the mirror before heading out the door. Walking out the room I see mom and Amber collect their bags and head out telling me how good I look. I blush and mutter a quiet thanks.

They tell me that we’re just going down town to the bar they both work at so that I can meet some of their friends. The bar looks just like any other “pub & grill”, there’s a small stage up front and center with a couple tables and chairs all around the floor, some corner booths and chairs along the sides with some families obviously having their dinner, the walls are covered in photos and old records and even some instruments on display. Pulling me from my thoughts is Amber’s squeaky voice by the bar; mom grabs my arm pulling me in Amber’s direction. I’m introduced to what’s seems to be all the staff at Milo’s Bar. I sit there chatting all while sipping on my soda keeping an eye on mom.

She puts down a tray of shots on the table as I glance around the bar, looking around my eyes land on a table full of kids around my age, there’s five of them. My eyes are immediately on the girl that stands out. She’s wearing heavy eye liner and mascara with dark lipstick on. She also has a couple facial piercings and unlike my small nose stud she has a proper ring. Her arm is around another girl who seems to be Asian,
they must be a couple
I think to myself as I look at the intimate way they’re looking and talking to each other. The other side of the table is a girl and guy, the girl has blond shoulder length hair and she’s chatting and laughing with the guy next to her who has curly brown hair and a baby face.

Looking at the other side of the table my eyes catch the guy that is sitting with the two couples, he is staring directly at me with a smirk on his face that tells me he’s obviously just caught me scoping out his friends. He nods his head as if to say hi, I do the same and feel my cheeks heating up at the way he’s looking at me, he’s gorgeous and should definitely not be looking at plain old me like that.

He has messy blond hair and his skin is tanned compared to my pale reflection, he has a perfect face with high cheek bones and what looks to be green eyes but I’m not that close so I can’t get a good look.

I stop myself from staring at him, I need to stop drawing any more attention from him, attention I don’t want – even if it did feel good for a moment to have someone look at me the way he did. I remind myself that we’re probably not going to stay in town long; mom says that this time will be different and she’s going to change.
Yeah right... not going to get my hopes up
. Even though I thought I would try letting those walls down, I’m not going to get attached to anyone, this way is better, this way I can deal.

Luckily mom grabs my attention from the good looking guy by handing me a shot.

“C’mon honey just one shot, then you can go back to your soda and continue ogling that fine piece in the corner.” She says loud enough for our entire table to hear then winks at me.

“Georgina! Shh… oh my gosh!” I say dropping my head down trying to hide my embarrassment. I can feel the blond boy’s eyes on me from across the room and I pray that he didn’t hear what she said.

“Oh C’mon babe, just have a shot with us old ladies!” Amber says pushing the glass my way. “It will be our little secret.”

“Okay … let’s do this, but no more after this one! Someone has to be sober enough to drive your drunken ass’s home.” I down the shot and tap it on the table. “Wow, that’s delish! What was that?” I say looking at Amber.

“That my dear was a shot of caramel vodka. I thought you’d enjoy it, I know how much you love caramel.” Mom says as she drunkenly wobbles to my side with her arm over my shoulder. I sit her down on the chair and ask one of the passing waitresses for a glass of water.

“Mom, how much have you had to drink, this is only your second drink why are you falling all over the place?” I say kneeling so I’m eye level with her. Moving a piece of her hair out of her face I look at her eyes and I can see that she’s not drunk, she’s high. The waitress brings her water and I make her drink it.

I notice Blondie across the bar looking my way again, his eyes are strained as he watches the spectacle my mother is causing. His frown apparent, as if trying to figure out what’s going on.
This is so embarrassing.

“Oh NOW I’m your mother?” She slurs loudly. “Now you wanna call me mom?” She starts getting louder and people start looking our way. I can’t handle all the strangers’ eyes on me. I need to get out of here.

“I’m not going to get into this argument with you here.” I whisper yell at her and point my finger at her, as a mother would do when disciplining their child.

“I’m going to the bathroom quick, and when I get back I’m taking you home!” I tell her then look at Amber. “I’m going to the bathroom, when I come back we are going home, if you want to get a lift with us back, get yourself ready.” I say, she leans on my mom and they start giggling like naughty children.

I don’t really need the bathroom, but I need to wash my face or something because if I don’t cool down I might end up embarrassing myself by having a huge blow out with my mother in front of all these people.

Stepping in the back of the bar, I see a corridor where the boy’s bathroom is on the left and the girls on the right. There are a couple of people standing in the way leaning against walls, finding my way to the bathroom, someone catches a hold of my elbow and yanks me backward.

I fall back into their chest. The first thing I smell is stale beer breath and I wanna gag, I turn to see the person that has ahold of my arm and it’s an older guy, he has shaven hair and is probably a couple years older than I. He’s not bad looking but his beer breath is a total turn off. He suddenly puts his other hand lower on my back, I freeze and he pulls me closer to him, I start pulling away from him and move my face as far away from his as possible.

“Please get your hands off me!” I say through gritted teeth as I look around for someone to help me, the music is loud in the bar and everyone in the crowded hallway is too busy with their own business to notice my struggle.

“Oh c’mon you sweet lil' thing, let’s go out back and have some fun.” The man says as he winks at me and moves his hand lower; he’s just above my ass at this point. I start to struggle and pull out of his grip but his handle on me is tight giving me no room to kick or thrash about. This man is strong.

“Greg! Can’t you find anyone your own age you dirty bastard! Leave her alone!” I hear a firm female voice behind me but Mr. Greg here holds me so tight I can’t turn to see who it is.

“Oh honey I’m not THAT old and hey, don’t be jealous you can join us if you like pumpkin.” I see Greg wink at whoever is behind me.

Then I’m pulled out of Greg’s arms and I’m looking at the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen, it’s the guy from the corner booth that I was
ogling.
He looks down at me with one hand on my shoulder and one hand on my cheek as he asks softly, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

I'm out of breath not sure if it’s because of what just happened or because this beautiful boy has me lost for words.

I stutter. “I…I...No…I mean no… he didn’t hurt me.”

“Good.” He says looking up from me over my shoulder, his jaw tenses and I can see his eyes turn dark, glaring with so much hatred over my shoulder at Greg.

“Greg what do you think you’re doing? Did you not see that she didn’t want you to touch her?” The hot guy yells out. I flinch at the anger in his voice.

I don’t hear the rest, it’s too much to deal with at the moment. I run into the bathroom and walk over to the sink and mirror. Holding my weight on my elbows on the counter top, I put my hands over my face just trying to calm my breathing, my heart is beating fast – I can feel my hands shaking. This is too much, especially after not feeling anything for so long. I have only been here for a few days and I can already feel the walls I’ve kept built up these past few years crumbling.
What is this place doing to me?
 

I keep thinking, why
did I freeze?
Growing up at the gym, I did kick boxing and a few self-defense classes.
I should’ve yelled or something but I just froze, I’m so weak.

I hear the door open and shut, I hear yelling outside –the arguments obviously still going on, I can’t see who came in because my hands are still over my face as I try to blank out any thought and calm my erratic breathing. I’m still leaning over the counter when I hear footsteps in my direction and then a soft hand starts rubbing my back gently. I recognize the voice as the girl who told Greg to leave me alone.

“Are you okay? You wanna talk about it? He tried the same thing with a couple other girls, he won’t try with me though because he knows my pops will fuck him up if he tried to…” she trails off. I stand up and see the girl from the table I was looking at across the bar. The one with the piercings and has the whole emo look going on. She sits on the counter by the other sink and I smile at her.

“Thanks ...you know…for helping out there.” I say pointing back to the door.

“I should’ve yelled or something, I don't know why I just froze like that… that dude scared me shitless!” I say letting out a breath.