Alias Thomas Bennet (21 page)

Just then, Charlotte appeared with Maria, and they quickly broke apart. Charlotte cheerily invited Mr. Darcy in for tea. Darcy gave Elizabeth a look that he hoped she would understand and then politely agreed. Maria approached Elizabeth and linked arms with her, chatting merrily about her day while they walked to the parsonage.

On the way in, Charlotte took Darcy aside and spoke to him in a low voice, “I have seen him again, and he appeared to be following her.”

“Thanks to your servants’ good information, I have been able to anticipate the time she typically walks out. I have made it my business to watch for her each morning and accompany her. Thus far, I have been successful. If my aunt has me occupied, I will have Fitzwilliam watch over her in my stead. Fitzwilliam has already made inquiries regarding any knowledge of Wickham’s quarters in the area and has his man checking regularly. If we find him, we will deal with him.”

“I am grateful for your help. She does not seem to think she is in danger, but I like to remain cautious.”

“I agree.”

***

That night, Elizabeth felt confused about their discourse.
Why can I not settle my feelings about Mr. Darcy?

From the first time she had seen him, she thought him a handsome man with a fine figure, and she was drawn to him, but then he made that hurtful remark. Mr. Wickham’s story of ill-use by Mr. Darcy prejudiced Elizabeth until her father found out the truth, and then she was embarrassed for having allowed Mr. Wickham to take such advantage of her naïvety.

Elizabeth thought she had seen Mr. Wickham in the garden earlier that day but decided it must have been her imagination due to her mulling over that situation. Did conjuring up Mr. Wickham and formulating a chastisement in her head for all his ill-treatment mean she must have strong feelings for Mr. Darcy?

She had experienced such a tumultuous mix of interactions with Mr. Darcy. They had sparred on many occasions, and Elizabeth sometimes found it difficult to reconcile their arguments with other times of repartee that seemed more like flirtation. And many times, during more private discourse, Mr. Darcy acted almost like a suitor. He was very attentive during the walk to Longbourn from Meryton when he had so vibrantly portrayed his beloved Pemberley and then asked her to dance the first with him at the Netherfield ball. Still, he departed soon after the ball without a word. Her father’s information was that he left due to familial obligations, and she never expected to see him again. Then they met in Kent, and her feelings had no opportunity to hide from her notice.

Whenever I am with him, my sensibilities are so disturbed. I like him very much but do not know where
his
feelings lie. When I go out walking in the park, he always seems to meet me at the same place. Is it intentional? Does he walk with me out of friendship, or more?

Much of the time, he seemed to look upon her with detachment, but sometimes she noticed a look of tenderness and could not reconcile the two. That look he gave her when he said she was one of the handsomest women of his acquaintance—
that
was not unreadable. Even now, it made her feel all aflutter inside.

He finally apologised for his unkind comments at the Meryton assembly, he expressed his wishes to renew their acquaintance if he returned to Netherfield, and he said that Elizabeth would like Pemberley when she mentioned she might travel to Derbyshire. What could he mean? She knew no reason to be invited there.
I do not know if I hope or fear any other intentions.

And what was he about to say when Charlotte interrupted? Had he intended to speak of his regard? His eyes seemed to convey something like that. It made Elizabeth feel a particular affection.

Am I in love with him? Oh, dear!

***

Later that night, Darcy was deep in thought as he sat in front of the fire in his chambers. He looked at his brandy as he slowly swirled the liquid in the glass, noting the golden hues drifting languidly around the curved walls, leaving their filmy shadows behind. He pondered Mrs. Collins’s warnings.

Wickham! What is he doing in Kent? I did not fully believe Mrs. Collins when she first mentioned it, but it must be true! I must protect Elizabeth from him. I know him so well—he is a rake and holds such a grudge. Without doubt, he will take his revenge on Bennet in any way possible, and I do not want that way to be Elizabeth.

His thoughts followed the direction they usually did when he was alone at night, succumbing to the war of emotions that descended upon him each time he considered the implications of his relationship with Elizabeth. The candle was guttering, so he set his glass on a nearby table and used a taper to light a new one. He returned to the settee and continued to ruminate.

Elizabeth. She is the most clever, spirited, loyal, trustworthy, kind, honourable woman of my acquaintance. She bewitches me with her sparkling humour and enchants me with her spirit. I have tried so hard to deny it, but now I know that I love her. What will Georgiana think of her? She will likely approve. Elizabeth is the best of sisters; I have seen ample evidence of that.

Darcy questioned why he had hesitated to offer for her. Was he afraid of how his family would react to her relations? They expected him to marry for rank or wealth, or both and to align with the best families, perhaps the daughter of a peer. Bennet implied that her fortune was more than rumoured, but fortune mattered little to him; his income and holdings were quite sufficient.

But do I care to meet my family’s aspirations regarding connections? Do I accede to their wishes as is my duty? Is my family’s good opinion so important to me that I would endure a loveless marriage to satisfy their expectations?

No. I want Elizabeth. She will not be surprised; I as good as declared myself today.

How beautiful she is. How I would love to see her silken hair down and spread on my pillow, with her dark eyes full of love. I have seen her form when the sunlight is behind her, and her figure is light and pleasing. I want to see her
,
to touch her in ways that only a husband should.

His arousal increased in line with his thoughts. He leaned back on the settee and released the fall of his trousers. He closed his eyes and began to stroke himself while imagining their lovemaking.

Her eyes are full of passion when I come to her. I draw her body close to mine and kiss her deeply. She acquiesces and returns my ardour with eagerness. She makes no complaint as I remove her night shift and pull back to admire her nakedness. Her body is so beautiful; her hips are round, her breasts full and heavy, and there is the marvellous intimation of her womanly secrets beneath the dark triangle between her legs.

I run my hands through her soft hair and down her neck, leaving a trail of kisses. I caress her curves, marvelling in the sensation as my fingers feel her fine, soft skin. I pull her to me and hungrily kiss her, bruising her lips. I go wild when she eagerly presses her body against mine and rubs against my erection as if to pleasure herself, moaning and clinging to me. I cup her generous breasts. It is incredible how much paradise I derive from feeling them. I massage them gently, and she presses into my hand. I touch her nipple, and she shudders.

Her eyes are closed, and her face is full of passion. I lay her down on the bed. My mouth follows my hand; I suckle one and then the other of her breasts, and she begs me for more. I gently caress her legs, and she opens them in welcome and allows me to touch her sex. I am overwhelmed by the feel of her; she is so very soft and wet. Her body is quivering from my ministrations. I stroke her until I am sure that she is near her pleasure. She pushes my robe away from my body, and we are both as God made us. Her eyes are dark with passion as she touches me, holds me firmly, rubs me, fondles me. I am throbbing in need for her.

Her fine eyes silently plead for what she has never known. I enter her and it is exquisite. She is so tight, so hot. I am inside her. She is surrounding me. She is moaning and moving against me and begging for satisfaction. I thrust into the ecstasy of our union until she calls out my name.

Darcy caught his seed in his handkerchief. He was physically and emotionally exhausted, and it took a few moments for him to calm himself. With the final realization of the full impact of his obsession, he became resolute.

Damn the family’s aspirations! It does not signify. I will offer for her at the next opportunity. I need her in my home and in my bed. I will not rest until I return to Pemberley with Elizabeth as my bride.

Chapter 14:
Bingley is betrothed, and Darcy is chagrined.

9 April 1812
Kent

Two days prior to the planned departure of Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy for London, three letters arrived, two to Miss Elizabeth Bennet at Hunsford parsonage and one to Mr. Darcy at Rosings. Elizabeth was breakfasting with the Collinses when she received hers.

“One is from Papa and the other from Jane. Oh, dear, Jane has written the direction very ill indeed. Charlotte, could you please excuse me so I might read them in the garden?”

“Of course, Lizzy,” Charlotte said while Mr. Collins mumbled his agreement through a mouthful of breakfast. She watched from the rear parlour window as her friend pored over the letters.

Jane’s was the longest, so Elizabeth chose to read it first. It started with the typical greetings and contained a commentary much like letters do: a mention that she and Mary missed Elizabeth’s company dreadfully and lamented the distance between them, a brief history of the antics of the Gardiner children, the goings-on and parties attended, good wishes sent from the other inmates at Gracechurch Street, and a polite inquiry as to the good health of Elizabeth and the rest of their friends in Kent. However, Jane’s letter had been continued the following day in a more hasty script. This part of the letter both delighted and perplexed Elizabeth.

Monday

As you are aware, Mr. Bingley has been courting me this last month, & I am delighted to advise you that I am the happiest of women to have accepted his proposal of marriage. Oh, Lizzy, I am so pleased to have the compliment of such an honourable man! Mr. B. made his addresses two days past, & I agreed immediately. Today, he went to see my father. Papa agreed as I had expected and, of course, offered his sincerest blessings.

Mr. B. told me that my father has requested we return to Longbourn sooner than planned. Mr. B. & Mr. Darcy are to join us. Mr. B. was unsure of the reason for Mr. D.’s attendance. Papa has informed Mr. B. that we have better fortunes & connections than is rumoured in Meryton, but he did not want me to disclose it other than to you. He said he had kept it secret to keep us safe from fortune hunters. Mr. B. did not press my father for any other details. Lizzy, I am much relieved that we have something to offer since our connections are not what most men find to improve their own.

It has been arranged for my father’s carriage to collect us in London, & we will travel to Longbourn with you. I am sorry that your visit to Charlotte will be cut short by one week. I hope this does not cause too much of an inconvenience.

Please send my best regards to Charlotte, Mr. C. & Maria & my wishes that they attend our wedding. No date has yet been set, but Mr. Bingley is hoping Papa will agree to a short engagement, & I am of the same mind.

Dearest Lizzy, I am so looking forward to seeing you soon! Mary sends her love.

Yours very affectionately,
J. Bennet

Elizabeth’s astonishment at the contents of the first letter piqued her expectations of the second. Hoping it would detail the parts of Jane’s letter that were unclear, she tore open the seal on her father’s letter with alacrity. She skimmed down the page until she found the section of most interest.

My Lizzy, your birth parents were not without fortune or connections & have left you & Jane bequests that are much more generous than is rumoured in Meryton. Mary, Kitty & Lydia will share the monies from your mother’s settlements, which are also much larger than generally presumed. I know you may feel unhappy that your mother & I have not kept you in our confidence regarding this information, but we wanted all of you to marry for love & did not want young men swayed by your fortunes. I have asked Jane & Mr. Bingley to assist in continuing the rumours about your & your sisters’ modest fortunes, & I also ask this of you.

With Jane’s betrothal to Mr. Bingley, the time has come for me to share the details of your inheritance. Thus I am asking for you & Jane to return for a private conference.

I have asked Mr. Darcy to be present for this discussion since he has been responsible for some of the legal aspects regarding the inheritance. I requested that he kindly provide transport for you as far as London, where my carriage will collect you and your sisters. I hope you do not mind travelling with him. You have not had a particularly positive view of Mr. Darcy, though I cannot fathom your reasons as his one enemy has turned out to be a gamester & a cad. I have always thought Mr. Darcy a good man & not as proud as you think.