Alice's Sexual Discovery in a Wonderful World (Fairy Tale Erotica) (12 page)

And the duke left accompanied by the odd-looking officers.

Alice tiptoed inside the cottage and walked down the hallway.

“Hello?”

No one replied.

“Ms. Cook?”

The hall led to a kitchen where a slender, big-busted woman crouched over broken plates and cups. She wore only an apron, leaving her backside completely exposed. “Why can’t I do anything right?”

Alice’s eyes stung from the powerful odor of chili peppers. She squinted hoping that would help. “You did nothing wrong.”

“I did.” The cook stood up straight and placed the broken pieces into a trash bin. “I stirred the wrong way.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no wrong way to stir.”

“And I’m no good in bed.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that!” The words came out of Alice louder than she had anticipated. Perhaps because she didn’t believe she was being truthful.

“Did you hear him?” The cook leaned on the kitchen counter staring at the rest of the broken dishes on the floor. “I’m no better than a piece of meat.”

Alice was about to say it wasn’t true, but she realized she had no way of knowing what the cook was like in bed.

“Look at me.” Alice took the cook’s hands. “Look at me!”

The cook did.

“There is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman and any sensible man should feel privileged to know you and love you. The duke…” Alice paused. “Any man who dislikes you because of how you are in bed doesn’t deserve you.”

The cook took a deep breath and let it out. Alice felt like her words to the cook were truthful. But only about the cook. If anyone told Alice those same words she’d know they were lying. Just saying things to soothe her.

Why was that? Why did she feel it was so important to know how to please a man and at the same time the cook’s sexual inexperience didn’t matter? What was the truth? Was there any difference between the cook and herself that made sexual experience important?

Alice asked, “Why don’t you leave the duke?”

“And leave his baby boys? I could never leave the children. Now let’s have you breastfeed his baby boys before he comes home.”

The cook left the kitchen, perhaps to a bedroom. Alice didn’t understand what was expected of her.

“I can’t breastfeed,” Alice called out to the cook.

The cook came back in to the kitchen holding a giggling baby in each arm. Both babies were bundled in blankets so Alice couldn’t see them directly. She just saw the bundles and heard the giggles.

The cook said, “Of course you can. Come here.”

Alice approached.

The cook nodded to her chest and said, “Take them out.”

Alice scooped out her breasts over her dress’s neckline. To her surprise, dribbles of milk came from the nipples. That wasn’t supposed to happen, was it?

“Take one of the babies,” the cook instructed.

Alice looked at them and didn’t see babies. They looked more like…starfish!

“Those aren’t babies!” Alice said. “What’s this all about?”

Both starfish lay upside down in their blankets. At the centers where their legs met each had two closed eyes and a giggling mouth, babbling incoherent words.

“Trust me,” the cook said.

Alice picked one up and listened to his gurgles. Then he yawned with his eyes scrunched closed. Alice placed the starfish at her breast, and he latched on to suckle peacefully.

The cook placed the other on Alice’s other breast, looked at Alice and smiled. “They seem to like you.”

Alice took a walk outside to nurse in the beautiful garden. Even though she struggled with the conundrum of what was true for the cook wasn’t true for herself, the sun shined a sizzle of warm promise and hope upon Alice as she fed the babies. One of the babies burped.

“Now that’s a healthy appetite,” Alice said.

The other squealed, of what sounded like delight, if she could interpret starfish sounds correctly.

“Excuse you,” Alice said. A curly, pink tail wagged from one of the starfish’s bodies. “I didn’t notice your tail before.”

The other also had a tail.

“What’s going on?”

Before she knew it, a leg turned into a snout, remaining feet became hooves, and she had two piglets wriggling in her arms.

Alice couldn’t hold on. She dropped the piglets onto the ground. They scampered into the forest.

A sinking dread weighed heavy inside her gut. She just lost someone’s children! Alice didn’t know what the punishment was for losing someone’s children, but it couldn’t have been good. There had to be a reason why losing them didn’t matter. A reason she could give, if asked. They were never really children to begin with, right? How do you lose children that aren’t children? Surely she wouldn’t be in trouble for losing starfish that turned into piglets.

Alice thought of the duke discovering his babies being gone. She suddenly didn’t feel so bad. In fact, she felt a wicked grin come over her.
Serves him right!
Better yet, “the boys” were surely better off away from the duke. Alice couldn’t imagine how horrible a father he was. But what about the cook? She loved those babies so much! They were the reason she stayed. That’s when Alice realized the full extent of how good it was that she lost those babies. Now the cook wouldn’t have a reason to stay. She’d leave the duke and would never submit to his temper again.

Alice moved on into the woods comforted, at least, that she had the benefit of having the experience of nursing at all. Something she could look forward to as a mother of her own children.

Alice found a dirt path through thick trees and followed it. A path was likely to lead her to some sort of civilization, where she could get help to grow and return home. It led her to a fork with a signpost. One way led to the Hare, the other to the Hatter.

A voice said from behind her, “You could have stopped him, you know?”

Alice spun around and saw a cat in the tree with the most hideous tooth-filled grin.

“Who are you?” Alice put her hands on her hips.

“The Cheshire cat.”

“How did you get here?”

“I thought about you and turned left.”

As Alice struggled with that, the cat continued, “You could have stopped him.”

“Who?”

“Put a finger in your pussy,” the cat said. “And no, I’m not trying to be funny. Just do it.”

“I won’t,” Alice said.

“Believe me, you’ll be very glad you did. I won’t see anything. You can keep your hand under your dress the whole time. Just do it.”

Alice looked at him. Should she really put a finger inside her in front of this cat? His smile revealed that he’d like it too much. But his words,
you’ll be very glad you did,
sounded truthful.

Alice turned her back to the cat and lifted the front of her dress. She looked back to make sure the cat couldn’t see. He just smiled. Convinced he couldn’t see, she slipped a finger inside.

“How does it feel?” The cat asked. “Does it feel like a lizard?”

Alice felt her finger tingle and transform. Inside, it no longer felt like a finger. It felt like tiny feet pushing against her inner walls, a little tongue darting around in there.

“Like a banana?” the cat asked.

The legs and tongue receded but there still was no feeling of a finger inside of her. Alice felt a firm, cold curve fill her, as though her finger turned into a banana. She whimpered and felt herself becoming moist.

“Like a vibrating banana?”

The thing buzzed inside her, now, drilling and whirring her wet. Alice gasped. What was happening to her?

The cat continued. “Like a fist? Like a flute? Like a bat? Like a bottle? Like your finger?”

Shapes and textures stuffed and wiggled and stretched Alice’s insides. Heat spread across her body and her juices dribbled down her thighs. After flashes of incredible changes filled inside of her, her pussy finally relaxed around her finger again. She pulled out her hand from under her dress and looked at the glistening finger. It looked normal.

“Do you get it now?” the cat asked. “Any cliché, simile, or metaphor becomes true around here. That has its disadvantages of course, but it also has its beautiful advantages.”

Alice thought about it a moment, as her body calmed down. She could change anything at will, anytime she liked.

“So you could have stopped him,” the cat said for the third time.

“Who?”

“The duke.”

“But I did stop him! I banged on the door to stop him!”

“But he’ll be back later. And when he finds out his boys are gone, who do you think he’ll blame?”

Alice felt her lungs stiffen shut.

The cat continued. “You could have turned him into a mouse if you wanted to. Then he couldn’t do anything more to the cook.”

She could have stopped the duke. But she didn’t know about the crazy rules of this land with all the powers of clichés and metaphors. Or did she? She saw the way the villagers started the campfire with ice. And Caterpillar had said his cum tasted like peppermint to make it true. She should have figured it out. She could have stopped the duke. “I’ve put the cook in danger,” she said in a whisper.

“No you didn’t,” the cat said.

“What?”

“The cook isn’t in any danger. She realized the babies were gone, packed her things, and left the duke’s cottage.”

“Then why did you say he’d hurt the cook?”

“I said no such thing. I’m just making a point.”

Alice waited. “Which is…?” Alice coaxed.

“Everything in the past seems easier with hindsight. That’s why I travel backwards in time.”

“Wait, what?
What do you mean you travel backwards in time?”

The cat smiled wider. “Since I know what happens in hindsight, I’ve decided to move from place to place further into my past. That way I know just what to do and when to do it. I don’t see why everyone else doesn’t do that.”

Curiouser and curiouser! Could it be true? Alice decided to test the cat’s claim by asking a question the cat could answer with his unique time-traveling knowledge.

“Which way do I go?” Alice asked. “To the Hare or to the Hatter? And which way is the better way?”

“Beats me,” the cat said. “I only know what happens in your past. Even though I came from your future and perhaps even was with you in your future, I don’t remember it. I only remember the past, the next place I’ll be going.”

Alice sighed. “A lot of good you are.”

“But I will say this. The Hatter is quite mad.”

“Oh!” Alice said. “Good! So I’ll go see the Hare.”

“Enjoy!” The cat said and vanished. Literally vanished. Like a magic trick. It was quite extraordinary how the cat could disappear like that.

Alice looked at her moist finger again. It chilled in the air. Could it really be that simple? To find out what a cock feels like? To finally get that elusive orgasm? “My finger is like a thick penis,” she said.

Her finger transformed and grew into a large, hefty shaft of flesh. The perfect cock.

Alice pulled up her skirt and pressed the head against her folds, stroking herself. The cock felt hot, real. This was truly it. This was what Jack truly felt like.

A voice said, “What happened to the duke’s babies?”

Alice withdrew her hand with its floppy cock-finger and hid it behind her back.

It was the cat. He was back in the tree from out of nowhere.

“What?” she said.

“What happened to the duke’s babies?”

“They turned into piglets.”

“Ah! Very good,” the cat said and disappeared again.

Alice sighed with relief. Put the cock back between her thighs, imagined it was that moment. That first moment when Jack cried out her name, told her he loved her.

“Did you say ‘Chick Lit’?”

Alice rushed her hand behind her back again.
Damn that cat!
“What?”

“Did you say they turned into ‘Chick Lit’?”

“No, I said ‘piglets.’ “

“Ah!” The cat said. “Well that’s okay, then.”

“I wish you wouldn’t appear and disappear so suddenly,” Alice said. “It’s very…disruptive.”

“Precisely,” the cat smiled. “Goodbye, then.”

The Cheshire cat slowly disappeared with just his grin left floating in the air until that, too, faded away.

Alice looked at her hand, the wobbly cock sticking up. “It’s like my finger,” Alice said. She soon had her regular hand back.
I better try climaxing later, when I’m certain to not be interrupted,
Alice decided and trampled down the path to the Hare.