Alien Collective (2 page)

T
HERE WAS A TIME,
about four and a half years ago, when I thought the world was basically simple.

I was a single, carefree girl with a sorta-promising career in marketing, great parents, good friends, and a place of my own.

Then a superbeing formed in front of me and genetics I didn’t know I had took over. I killed the fugly monster, saved the day, and won the heart of the handsome prince. Literally.

Of course, my prince didn’t know he was a prince, though he did know he was an alien, even though he was born on Earth. His family was exiled from Alpha Four in the Alpha Centauri system. His very large, extended, and connected-back-through-the-ages family. All of whom are pretty much the most gorgeous people on Earth. Since they also have two hearts, hyperspeed, the ability to regenerate and heal quickly, and special talents, the fact that they’re also great looking sort of seems unfair.

It
is
unfair, really. But I manage to find the will to go on.

I also discovered a much more promising career in the realm of Superbeing Extermination, and moved quickly up the ranks to become the Head of Airborne for Centaurion Division. And, just as quickly, got moved over to become first the co- and then the only Ambassador for American Centaurion. Though I’ve protested a lot about the Peter Principle, everyone insists I’m at least as good at this job as I was at any other. They’re being complimentary. I think.

Jeff’s in the same spaceship, of course, because he got shoved into being the Representative for New Mexico’s 2nd District in Congress. Meaning he has to work with politicians every day. And to set the rumors straight, not all politicians are evil monsters, but most of them make us nostalgic for the superbeings we used to fight regularly.

There are plenty of nights where we argue about which one of us has the worse job. But at least we have each other.

And we have our daughter, Jamie, who’s very special with a heaping side of extra. In addition to her being a human-alien hybrid, some extenuating circumstances have led to her sharing head space with a collective superconsciousness. At two and a half, that’s probably a lot to handle, but she’s our daughter and she’s doing great with it. Overachieving is apparently our “thing.”

So, you know, fantastic husband, amazing daughter, important jobs we feel challenged in, great friends, wonderful family. What could go wrong with all of that?

 • • • 

Wow. You really haven’t been paying attention all this time, have you?

“Y
OU HAVE THE RIGHT
to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”

“I’d like to say two words—Diplomatic Immunity. Then I’d like to say other words like, I want to call my lawyer, the President, my mom, and a few other people like Officer Melville.” The cop helped me up into the paddy wagon.

“That’s nice.” Of course, he was now actually helping my lawyer into the big metal van. Amy Gaultier-White patted my hand. “You and all the rest get to go to headquarters first, ma’am. Then you can make all those calls you want to make.”

“Diplomatic Immunity. We do remember what that means?”

The cop smiled as he helped several other women into the paddy wagon with me. “Yes, ma’am, Ambassador Katt-Martini. We do know.”

“I’m the Ambassador for the American Centaurion Diplomatic Mission. My husband is a congressman. And you’re risking pissing off a lot of important people.”

“Comes with the job, ma’am.”

“Why are we being arrested? Since when is arresting diplomats your job? Every woman with me is part of my diplomatic mission.” In some way, at any rate. Wasn’t sure if I could count the female members of Alpha Team as being part of the Embassy staff. Then again, I was the Ambassador, so I could decide I’d officially instated them as Disturbance Attachés before we left. Minor moral dilemma solved. Major dilemma still not solved.

“You’re at the scene of a disturbance, ma’am. Ambassador or not.”

“I’ll say it again, officer—Diplomatic Immunity.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The cop gave me the Concerned Officer of the Law look. “You’re being moved off the streets for your own protection, ladies.”

“Peaceful protest is part of our democracy,” Abigail said.

“My husband’s going to hear about this,” Serene added. “He’s an astronaut.”

“I’ll watch out for falling moon rocks, ma’am,” the cop said to her. Wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure he was trying really hard not to laugh. “However, your own protection currently supersedes your immunity.”

“Since when?” Amy asked.

“Since now.” The cop closed the back doors. Nicely. But still.

“Well,” Lorraine said, “at least we’re not chained up or handcuffed.”

“Speak for yourself,” Claudia muttered.

“You tried to hit one of the officers in the face,” Lorraine pointed out.

“He was being rude.” Claudia looked around. “Can I get out of these now?”

“Sure. You want to break them or have me or Amy pick the lock?”

Lorraine Billings, Claudia Muir, Serene Dwyer, and Abigail Gower were all female A-Cs, or, as I called them to myself, Dazzlers. Dazzlers were, to a one, gorgeous, which was par for the A-C’s course. They were also all brilliant by human standards, usually focused on medicine, math, and/or science. My girls were also focused on butt kicking.

They all looked awed and impressed. “You and Amy have finally learned to pick locks?” Serene asked.

Amy and I both sighed. “Yes, Malcolm’s been working on it with us,” I shared.

“A lot,” Amy added, going for the Full Disclosure option.

Malcolm Buchanan was assigned to be my personal shadow. He was also pretty much the most comprehensively competent dude in covert and clandestine ops imaginable. During Operation Infiltration he’d taught the four Dazzlers with us in the paddy wagon how to pick locks. Amy and I hadn’t done so well with that. So Buchanan had made it a point to ensure that we knew how. Sadly, it hadn’t come that easily to either one of us, which was something of an embarrassment, but both Amy and I were proficient lock pickers now.

Amy pulled a metal nail file out of her purse. “Too slow, Kitty.” She went to work.

“At least some of us made it,” Claudia said as Amy got the cuffs off her and she rubbed her wrists.

The doors opened again and two more women were put in—Doreen Weisman, our last Dazzler on Embassy Duty, and Denise Lewis, who was human but frankly gorgeous enough to pass for alien.

“Diplomatic Immunity!” Doreen shouted. “Do you all understand what that term means?”

The cops smiled, nodded, and shut the doors again. “So much for Claudia’s optimism,” I said. “I thought you two had gotten away.”

“We did, too,” Doreen said.

“Someone in the crowd pointed us out,” Denise added with more than a trace of bitterness.

The doors opened again and Nurse Magdalena Carter and my sorority roommate and bestie, Carolyn Chase, were both helped inside. “This is supposed to be the land of freedom and opportunity,” Nurse Carter said darkly. “Not the land of oppression.” She was originally from Paraguay and had joined us during Operation Assassination.

“Senator McMillan is going to hear about this!” Carolyn was the Senator’s Girl Friday.

“I’m sure he will, miss,” the officer said. “From more than just you.”

Counted noses. We were missing one person. Sure enough, the doors opened again. Though who was being helped in wasn’t on my list of Girls Gone Washington Wild.

“Lucinda? What are you and my daughter doing here?”

Yes indeed, my mother-in-law was there, carrying my daughter, Jamie. Two officers helped them in, with a third standing behind to catch them if Lucinda lost her balance.

“Thank you so much,” she said to the officers. “You’re all too kind, and I just want you to know how much we appreciate all the good work you do and long hours you put in.”

She got very friendly smiles from the cops. “You’re very welcome, ma’am. You and the little lady be sure to sit down so you don’t lose your balance.” The doors shut again.

“Mommy, this is so much fun! Gran’ma Luci said we could come watch you work!” Jamie bounced over to me for hugs and kisses.

Happily gave out the necessary snuggles, then handed Jamie to Amy for more of the same. “Lucinda, what part of ‘you and Jamie stay at the Embassy’ didn’t come through clearly?”

“No part of it, Kitty,” she said as she settled herself in between Doreen and Serene, opposite Amy. “I just thought it would be fun for Jamie to see what you girls were up to.”

Lorraine and Amy both nudged me. “I think Kitty just wanted to be sure you and Jamie didn’t get hurt,” Amy said as she finished loving on Jamie and handed her to Abigail. “And I have to agree. Are you alright?”

“Oh, yes, Amy dear, we’re both fine. It was quite exciting, all the chanting and jumping up and down.”

Managed to keep my mouth shut but only by grinding my teeth. Abigail hugged Jamie then passed her on to Carolyn.

“You do realize it’s a political protest?” Serene asked, radiating innocence. While my first impression of Serene, during Operation Drug Addict, was that she was a crazy loon, my second, third, fourth, and fifth impressions of her were Innocence on the Hoof.

However, I’d learned there was a lot more to Serene than most of us ever saw. Right now, for example, I had a feeling she was asking because she knew I couldn’t do so without snarling, and she was doing it in such a way as to not upset Lucinda.

And it worked, of course. Lucinda patted Serene’s knee. “Oh, yes, dear, I know. It’s part of how our great host country works, and it’s important for Jamie to see that, to see how her father is a part of something so much bigger than himself.”

“Jeff’s always been a part of something bigger than himself,” I pointed out.

“Yes, Kitty, but Jamie couldn’t go into active situations with her father, now could she?”

Regardless of Amy and Lorraine’s nudging, Doreen and Serene’s wide-eyed “shut up, shut up” stares, and what I could feel radiating from the rest of the girls—that I needed to keep my mouth shut—I couldn’t stop myself. “Um, have you been paying attention to anything that’s gone on since Jamie was born?”

Fortunately, before Lucinda could reply and I could earn more Bad Daughter-In-Law Points, the doors opened again. And, once again, our new arrival wasn’t anyone I was expecting.