Alien Collective (22 page)

M
AHIN’S TALENT WAS THAT
of earthbending. Well, she called it something else, in part because she’d had a sad childhood bereft of cool comics and animated pop culture and so had never seen
Avatar: The Last Airbender
. Well, before she’d met me she hadn’t seen it. Now, that error had been rectified.

She could call it whatever she wanted, but basically Mahin could move sand and dirt around with her mind. And right now, I figured we needed someone who could do that, because I was fairly certain the Entity Formerly Known as Sloshy was now going to be Known as Sandy.

“It is time for the challenge,” Sandy Formerly Sloshy intoned. No longer sounded watery. Now it sounded dry and crumbly. Wasn’t an improvement.

The looks weren’t an improvement, either. Whereas before it had been sort of see-through, now it was solid, but constantly shifting, as if it was made of a zillion sand ants bustling around in their humanoid-shaped anthill. Was so very sorry my mind had come up with this description.

Heard Reader on his phone, sounding stressed and official. He was requesting military aid.

“James, don’t. That won’t work. Serene, get Vander inside and out of here, and by out of here, I mean back to the Science Center, with you.”

“Kitty, are you sure?” she asked. “It looks like you could use my help.”

“No, both of you, get out of here. And, seriously, someone
get
Mahin here.” Stepped closer to Sandy Formerly Sloshy to be between it and the rest of my team.

“Handled,” Christopher said. “I took Serene and Vander back, as well. They’re both safe now. Well, as safe as any of us can be at the moment.”

Clearly he’d decided that everyone with us was smart enough to figure out that we hadn’t used a gate to get us here in the first place, meaning they were smart enough to realize that Christopher’s Flash Level was great and getting greater.

Heard the sounds of someone throwing up. More than one someone. Chose not to look behind me so I wouldn’t break eye contact with Sandy Formerly Sloshy and so I also wouldn’t have to see whoever tossing their cookies. I was smart like that.

“You rock.”

“I brought Tito, too, because he insisted. And the princesses.”

“You’re a military genius, never let anyone tell you different. Tito, make sure Christopher doesn’t need adrenaline—he’s done a lot of long distance high speed running in a short period of time. Girls, once you have your stomachs back under control from Mister Christopher’s Wild Ride, I need the mad skills. Rahmi and Rhee, make me the happiest leader on Earth and tell me you brought your battle staffs.”

“Of course we did,” Rahmi said, sounding just slightly offended.

“What do you take us for, amateurs?” Rhee added.

“Nope, but you know how you spell assume.” Despite the situation, Chuckie started laughing. Always nice to have an appreciative audience, even if said audience only had one member.

“Excuse me?” Rahmi said.

“I don’t understand you,” Rhee added.

“So few ever do. We have a situation. Meet Sandy.”

“Sandy?” This was chorused by everyone, the superconsciousness included.

“Well, this was Sloshy, but now, since he/she/it has changed elements, we’re going with Sandy, because it’s more accurate. Or the Entity Formerly Known as Sloshy. Take your pick.”

“Sandy.” Again, chorused by everyone, superconsciousness included. And it was definitely the loudest, too. Nice to know it had a preference.

“Okay, so, Sandy, why here, why now, and what, if any, are your rules of engagement? Marquess of Queensberry rules? MMA octagon limitations? I know you are but what am I basics?”

Sandy Formerly Sloshy stared at me. Kind of. It was hard to be sure. But it seemed to be staring. And what was pretending to be its mouth was sort of hanging open. “We don’t understand you,” it said finally.

“So freaking few ever do, Sandy. So freaking few ever do. It’s my cross to bear but I manage to find the will to go on because I live for crap like this to happen to me. And so far, never disappointed, so thanks for keeping my record intact.”

“You are . . . being funny?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“Right now? When you are about to fight for your right to exist?”

“I fight for my right to party all the time.” Tim started laughing at this one. Good to know I was keeping it light for everyone. “Look, we have a ton of situations going on, so could you please just explain your supposedly neutral but actually evil plan so we can roll? I have a couple of traitors to try to catch up to and time’s a wastin’.”

But before Sandy Formerly Sloshy could reply my phone rang.

“Hang on, Sandy, hold whatever deep thoughts you’re having, won’t be a mo’.” Dug my phone out and looked at the number. Vaguely familiar. Took a wild guess. “Hel-lo Bruce Jenkins.” Heard everyone behind me groan. Sandy Formerly Sloshy looked discombobulated, at least as much as a sifting sand creature could.

“Missus Martini, how are you?” My ability to remember which random numbers went with which random callers remained excellent. I was on a roll.

“Busy, Bruce. And that’s Ambassador Martini to you, I’m sure. But back to how I am. Busy, busy, busy. Like you, trust me, wouldn’t believe. What, therefore, can I do for you in thirty seconds or less?”

“I’d like that interview now, if it’s convenient.”

“Wow, you’re a reporter for the Post and yet you don’t know the definition of the word ‘busy.’ Sad times out there in the fourth estate.” Really wanted to hang up, but figured that since I was also hoping to defeat Sandy Formerly Sloshy in some way, that would mean we had a later and possibly even a tomorrow, meaning pissing Jenkins off totally was probably not the right plan.

“Oh, I’m sure you can dedicate a few minutes to help your husband’s campaign.”

“I can, Bruce, I can. Only, not right now. Seriously, I have people. Call them. Set up a meeting. Attend the meeting. Ask me all your probing, personal, inappropriate, leading questions loaded with innuendo and hidden meanings then. Stop calling me like this or other papers will start to believe that we’re having an affair.”

“Speaking of affairs—”

But before Jenkins could share whatever Affairs Theory he had going, Sandy Formerly Sloshy reached out and took my phone out of my hand. “She . . . is . . . BUSY!” it thundered. Impressively. Very loud and echoey with a whole Wrath of the Gods thing going, too. Figured that would hold good old Bruce Jenkins at least for a few minutes.

Then it hung the phone up and handed it back to me. Politely.

Took my phone and slid it into the back pocket of my jeans. Hopefully no sand had gotten into it. I could get a new one quickly from the Science Center, but that would leave me without a phone right now. Though, based on the quality of calls I’d been receiving today, that might not be a bad thing. “Thanks. He’s a real jerk.”

“He is,” Sandy Formerly Sloshy agreed. “Stop thinking of me like that.”

“Like what?”

“As Sandy Formerly Sloshy. Pick a name. Just one.”

“Wow, you superconsciousnesses are super freaky about naming, aren’t you?” There was something about this I needed to figure out, and more than anything else, I needed to figure it out right now.

“The form many times creates the thing,” Chuckie said quietly from right behind me. “And observation tends to create affinity.” Resisted telling him I loved him because none of us needed Jeff to have a Jealousy Attack right now. But it was always nice to have the smartest guy in any room, or on any airfield, covering your back and doing some of the heavy thinking.

“Sandy is a real name. Sloshy and Sandy Formerly Sloshy are not.” Sandy sounded insulted.

“You were reading my mind? I call shenanigans. And that’s also totally unfair in all the various rules.”

“ACE reads your mind, all the time.” Now Sandy sounded defensive.

“Yes, but ACE isn’t trying to hurt us.”

“I am not trying to hurt you, either. I am here to ensure that the ACE entity behaves properly, as required by our laws.” Now Sandy sounded defensive, whiny, and a little bit hurt.

It could and was reading my mind. Jeff was probably far too busy blocking everyone’s stress from himself to take the time to read me. Might as well just say what I was thinking and share the wonder that was my thoughts with the others, who were not able to read my mind.

“You’re touchy about names, but you don’t actually have any until you show up here. Why don’t you name yourselves?”

“It is . . . not allowed.”

“Uh huh. Is that because you’ll become a real, for want of a better word, person? Because you like the name Sandy, don’t you? And you want us to use it. And you used the word ‘I.’ In all the time ACE has been here, he’s never used that word. And we call him a ‘he’ but we could call him a ‘she,’ too. ‘It’ is more appropriate but we humans tend to find that a rude thing to call a living being because we’re admittedly gender focused. But you’ve manifested as male both times we’ve seen you, so that means you’re also identifying as a particular gender.”

“Sandy can be a man or a woman’s name,” Reader said conversationally. “It’s one of those good, ambiguous names.”

“You are trying to win me over to your side,” Sandy said as if this was, somehow, surprising.

“Well, we’d rather be your bestest buds than fight you, yes. And since we want to buddy up and all that, duh.”

“Duh?”

“It means ‘obviously,’ only it’s ruder. We say that to each other all the time. Kind of a relaxed, joking, buddy thing.”

“You want me to be your . . . buddy?”

“Better than being our enemy. We’ll settle for frenemy if needed. Means an enemy who’s also friendly to you, or vice versa. Depending on the being.” Siler might have fallen into this territory. Yet another line of thought I’d have to follow later. If we got a later.

“I could destroy you, you know.”

“Yes, we know.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Mahin said. “Right now, your entire essence is within the sand construct you’ve created.”

“So?” Sandy now sounded belligerent. Hoped this wasn’t going to get ugly.

“So, I have you bound,” Mahin said calmly. “You are contained within the sand.”

“You are not powerful enough to do that.” Sandy sounded just a little bit doubtful however.

Mahin came and stood next to me. She shrugged. “Try to leave.”

Sandy shrugged back, which was no less icky than when it had been a water man, but in a different way. The sand really looked like a bunch of ants or other tiny insects, moving over each other. Really hoped this wasn’t the case.

Sandy burst apart, sand flying everywhere. Or, rather, sand trying to fly everywhere. It was captured in what seemed to be a large bubble, but one made of other sand. Looked at Mahin out of the corner of my eye—it was clear she was concentrating.

“It’s still in there,” she said through clenched teeth. “It can hear you.”

“Sandy my friend, I don’t think this outcome is what you were expecting. However, we’re actually nice, pacifistic people. Well, my husband’s people are. My people are bloodthirsty killers who delight in conquest. Guess who’s in charge of this particular outcome?”

“I am not your enemy,” Sandy said from within the bubbling sphere of sand. Sounded even weirder and even more dry and crumbly this way. I wasn’t a fan.

“Wise choice. We have a saying here, though, that I like a lot: Prove it.”

Sandy was quiet for a few long seconds. “How?”

“Promise me, in whatever way your kind promises, that you’re going to leave ACE alone, let him stay with us on Earth if he wants to, let him leave Earth if he wants to, let him interfere as much as
he
feels is right, not as much as you all feel is right.”

“And if I refuse? She cannot hold me in this form forever. The moment she tires, I will be free.”

“No problem. If you refuse, we’ll fight you. If we lose, I’ll go with ACE, wherever you take him. And . . .” Well, no time like the present for the Big Gamble. “I’ll name all of you.”

The sand that was Sandy started roiling around. Mahin staggered. “It’s panicked,” Jeff said as he ran to us and held Mahin up. “I can feel it, blocks or no blocks.”

Gower stepped closer. “She doesn’t want to hurt you, Sandy,” he said gently. “Or your people. We don’t want to fight with you, any of you. We just promised ACE we’d protect him as he protects us, and we will honor that promise.”

“It is against our laws,” Sandy wailed. I’d heard ACE wail like this. And just because we could destroy something didn’t mean we should.

Was about to say something to try to calm the situation when Sandy proved that it was right—Mahin couldn’t contain it for long.