Alien Diplomacy
Authors: Gini Koch
“IF I WERE PLANTING A BOMB THAT WASN’T SET TO GO
off when the car started,” Oliver said quickly, as Kyle moved to open the door, “I’d absolutely figure the new mother would want her baby’s car seat.”
Kyle’s hand froze. “That makes sense to me. You think Kitty’s the target? Or the baby?” He growled this last question. I liked overprotectiveness toward my child from our new bodyguard.
“As I already told your superior, I don’t know who the target is. However, Missus Martini is on the guest list for the President’s Ball, ergo, she’s a potential target.”
We quickly moved our little group across the street and back down the block. “How long for the bomb squad?” Oliver asked.
“Not too much longer,” Kyle, who’d made the call, said. He and Len were busy looking all around. We weren’t exactly being subtle, but no one really seemed to be around to notice.
I dug my phone out of my purse. Jeff answered immediately. “What’s going on? Reynolds has been making urgent calls for the past few minutes and his stress is off the charts.”
“Len found a too-convenient parking place and we’re all waiting for some folks to come and let us know if our limo’s been rigged or not.”
“Reynolds says his people will be there in another minute. How far from the limo are you all?”
“We can still see it.”
“Get farther away.”
“Jeff, really—”
I was going to tell him he was overreacting. Only the limo exploded before I could finish my sentence.…
“If you like your futuristic adventure with heapings of over-the-top fun and absurdity, Koch has the series for you.… A rip-roaring and outlandish romp!”
—RT Book Reviews
DAW Books Presents GINI KOCH’s
Alien
Novels:
TOUCHED BY AN ALIEN
ALIEN TANGO
ALIEN IN THE FAMILY
ALIEN PROLIFERATION
ALIEN DIPLOMACY
ALIEN VS. ALIEN
(coming in December 2012)
DIPLOMACY
GINI KOCH
Copyright © 2012 by Jeanne Cook.
ISBN: 978-1-101-57991-6
All Rights Reserved.
Cover art by Daniel Dos Santos and Dave Palumbo.
DAW Book Collectors No. 1583.
DAW Books are distributed by Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious.
Any resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
If you purchase this book without a cover you should be aware that this book may have been stolen property and reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher. In such case neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”
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Nearly all the designs and trade names in this book are registered trademarks. All that are still in commercial use are protected by United States and international trademark law.
First Printing, April 2012
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
To Dixie, for begging me to “write funny” for years, in every
diplomatic way possible, until I finally broke down and listened—
I wouldn’t be here without you.
I realize why authors stop thanking their agent and editor after a few books—not because the agent and editor, in my case, Cherry Weiner and Sheila Gilbert, are any less amazing and awesome now than they were for the prior books. No, it’s because you start running out of adjectives and end up repeating yourself when you say, “You two are the best in the world!”
That goes as well for my crit partner and main beta reader, Lisa Dovichi and Mary Fiore. It’s hard to keep coming up with synonyms for “fabulous” and “best ever.”
But I persevere.
I don’t think it can get old, though, saying thank you with all my love to Team Gini, all those on Hook Me Up!, and all the Alien Collective Members in Very Good Standing around the world—y’all make all the work, the deadlines, the late nights, the pre-release stress, and the general insanity that is my writing life worthwhile. I have the best fans in the world, and you all constantly rock my world.
Many thanks again and always to the legion of book review bloggers who continue to support books in general and my books in particular. *Smootchies* to all my Twitter peeps and Facebook folks, just ’cause. And, as always, thanks to all I’ve thanked before, anyone I’ve missed somehow (DAW’s copy editor assures me this seems impossible, given the length of my acknowledgments for every book), and anyone on or added on to my own Alpha Team between the time I wrote this and the time the book comes out—love and appreciate you all.
Special shout outs to: Marnie Walski, for making me almost stop breathing when you asked if you could start an official fan site for me (The Alien Collective Virtual HQ) and then making such an awesome one; all the mods and members at said fan site (did I mention the name? The Alien Collective Virtual HQ, in case you missed it.); Paul Sparks and Kenton Schassberger for putting a lot of time and creative energy into scientifically proving that my science ain’t all that soft after all; the Queen Creek Writer’s Group for being an
awesome writer’s group and having me out to run the yap live so often; my sis-in-law, Akiko, for letting me use her company, Akiko Clothing, as Kitty’s Washington, D.C. designer (even though Akiko Clothing is located in Los Angeles—hey, it’s fiction, right?), and my little bro, Danny, for being understanding about why Blackhearts Brigade didn’t make this particular cut; Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore, for being awesome and supporting me and my books constantly; and everyone who came to see us before, during, and after Comic-Con, effectively creating little areas of fun and calm around that awesome but always overwhelming event.
Finally, thanks to my husband, Steve, for always supporting me, even when I probably sound insane or incoherent, and patiently listening to me ramble on about characters and plot points; and to my daughter, Veronica, for being my utility player in all of this and always being there when I need your help to handle whatever the crisis—beta reading, contest naming, promotional ideas, plot nightmares—with efficiency and understanding, as well as snarky wit (I have no idea where you get that from). You’re both the best and I love you even more than I love writing or the pets. Put together. Honest.
T
HEY CALL BOXING THE SWEET SCIENCE.
I have no idea why. It’s not like two guys beating each other up can be called sweet in any culture, and it’s hard to buy the science part when there’s not that much scientific theory involved in “hit harder, longer, until the other guy goes down.”
Now diplomacy, there’s your sweet science. You have to be sweet even when you don’t want to be. Or your husband has the little “representing an entire race” chat with you. And figuring out the many layers, links, connections, and conspiracies attached to just one diplomat is hard enough. Try doing that with every diplomat on Earth. Then expand past Earth. Then wonder why your husband can keep it all straight when you can’t and await the “if you’d only read the briefing file” chat.
Diplomacy has opened up a whole new world of chatting for Jeff and me. So far, I haven’t enjoyed any of them, but hope springs eternal.
Being one of the head diplomats for Centaurion Division’s Diplomatic Corps is quite the honor. Kind of wish I’d had a little more time to transition from marketing manager to superbeing exterminator to newlywed to new mother to retired superbeing exterminator to full-time diplomat. More than two years start to finish would have been nice. But, hey, I’m good with change and a challenge, right?
Of course, nothing could really have prepared me for the superpowers that were my parting gifts for labor and delivery of our daughter. Like the Alpha Centaurions from Alpha Four, I now have hyperspeed, faster healing and regeneration, improved vision, and
superstrength. Other abilities show up when I least expect them. I don’t have two hearts like a real A-C or any special talents, such as dream and memory reading or empathic skills. But being a super’s pretty much all it’s cracked up to be.
Sadly, when it comes to diplomacy, superpowers don’t really help. At all. But that’s where my winning ways and charming influence over others come in.
Hey, when it comes to diplomacy, I
do
practice the sweet science. Yeah, okay, the kind with boxing gloves. What can I say? Washington’s a tough town.