Alien Interludes (14 page)

“Aren’t we a pretty pair?” she asked her daughter, topping the infant’s curls with a white lace bow. Serena chortled her agreement and waved her tiny fists as if cheering for them both. Michaela set the computer to take their picture together, look-alike mother and daughter. Pleased with her efforts, she left it up on the vid for the men to see when they got home.

The visitor announcer chimed, and Michaela admitted the five Imdiko kitchen couriers, who set the table for her before sweeping back out with courteous bows. The food smeled heavenly, and she covetously eyed the leshela, an intoxicating and expensive drink from Plasius.

“No drinking until after you go to sleep though,” she told Serena, placing the bottles near each man’s place setting. “Once you close those pretty purple eyes for the night, it’l be a different story. Between good food and a few drinks, your daddies are going to be putty in Mommy’s hands!”

Humming happily, Michaela sat at her place at the table to bounce Serena on her knee. Her mates would be home any moment now.

Fifteen minutes later, she was trying to not let temper get the best of her.
Walk your big muscled asses in here within the next minute, and all will be forgiven
, she thought at the absent men.

As if in answer, she heard the main door to the quarters slide open. Michaela stood with Serena in her arms to greet whoever walked into the room.

Raxstad entered, and his broad face lit in an appreciative grin as he looked at the various items of food in their clear-cased warmers. “This is nice,” he said, drawing close. He planted a loud kiss on Serena’s forehead, and his lips grazed Michaela’s cheek. “No one else is home yet?”

“Not yet,” Michaela said. She sidled closer to him, wanting a ful embrace.

He warded her off by stepping back. “I’ve been outdoors sweating al day. Since the others aren’t home yet, why don’t I bathe quickly?” Michaela hid the instant of disappointment. Typical Nobek to not notice a new dress, though he used to. “Sure.” As he started to leave the room, Korkla entered. “Hey, someone put the kitchen to work,” he grinned. “Where are you off to?” he asked Raxstad.

“Bath.”

“Great idea. I’l do the same.” With a kiss for Serena and a pat on the head for Michaela, he folowed Raxstad out. He didn’t notice their new outfits either.

Michaela sat down on the chair again. Her stomach had that sick, twisty feeling again. Korkla always kissed her helo when he came home.

Another fifteen minutes slipped by. Govi didn’t come home and neither Korkla nor Raxstad emerged from the bath chamber. She could hear their voices, low in intense conversation. Serena began to fuss, so Michaela fed her. Then the baby drifted to sleep, and stil they sat alone at the table.

Michaela finaly rose from her seat cushion and took Serena to the nursery. She changed her from the pretty dress into a sleeping gown and settled the baby on her thick mat. Michaela set the force field around the mat to keep the baby from roling off or wandering away.

She knelt there, watching her beautiful daughter’s peaceful slumbering face. “At least you love me,” Michaela choked. Her vision doubled then trebled as tears crowded in. “You love me, even though I couldn’t be your real mother. You don’t care, right? I’m good enough for you, I’l prove it, I’l be a great mom, and you’l love me even though I’m not good enough for your fathers.”

“Michaela?”

Govi’s worried voice came from directly behind her. She couldn’t look at him. Now he knew that she was aware they didn’t want her anymore. She huddled smaler than ever in her shame as she shook with sobs, sobs she muffled to keep from waking Serena.

Korkla’s bare feet appeared next to her. Clad only in a skirt-like wrap, he bent over and picked her up off the floor without a word. Michaela caught his expression: he looked furious. He carried her out of the room past Govi and Raxstad, whose eyes were wide with horrified shock.

The Dramok bore Michaela to the sleeping room, where once upon a time they’d done a lot more than merely sleep. The wals glowed dimly, set at low ilumination by Michaela earlier in the day. The huge bilowy bed, layered in fresh gold and emerald linens, nearly covered the lushly carpeted floor. Two of Kalquor’s five moons peeked in through the arched doorways from the balcony outside.

Once in the room, Korkla turned on his clanmates who’d folowed him in. Stil cradling the weeping Michaela in his arms, he snarled, “Explain this!” Both Govi and Raxstad shook their heads. Govi said, “I don’t know why she would say such things, my Dramok. If we’ve done something to offend her, I’m unaware.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of her unhappiness,” Raxstad added. “If I’d done something to upset her, I thought she would tel me. Of course,” he continued, his voice becoming thoughtful, “I have been working so much that I’ve rarely seen her. When I am home, she’s wrapped up in Serena.”

“You were al too busy and tired for me even before Serena was born,” Michaela burst out. She was shaking al over. Angry. Hurting. “At least that’s your excuse. Why don’t you just go ahead and tel me the truth?”

Korkla sat on the edge of the bed, settling her on his lap. He grasped her chin, forcing her to look him in his very grave face. “What truth would that be, my Matara?”

“That you don’t want me anymore. You don’t want a freak who can’t carry your children.”

She’d committed a big sin with that statement, one the men had never been able to abide. Michaela had been given stern instructions she was to never refer to herself as a freak. It got her in big trouble in the past. The clan had worked hard to break her of the mindset.

At the flashes of anger in the three faces surrounding her, Michaela hid her face in her hands. “It’s true, and you can’t tel me it’s not. Why else would you not touch me these past months?” Raxstad’s tone was disbelieving. “
Months?”

“Don’t exaggerate, Michaela,” Korkla warned.

“Four months for you and me, Korkla,” she burst out, shoving against his chest, trying to stand. He wouldn’t let her up, however, and she was no match for his strength. Michaela was forced to rage at them from the very vulnerable position on his lap.

“Raxstad has made love to me twice in the last five months. And you, Govi … it’s been over six months since you touched me!” Al the pain, al the fear, al the loneliness fel in a barrage from her lips. “I know I’m not a real woman. I lost those other two babies, and I couldn’t carry Serena to term. I can’t carry any child. But you said it didn’t matter. You said you loved me just the same. You lied!” Michaela broke down, the storm of accusations dying out. She covered her face again and wept as if she hadn’t wept a thousand times during the long months of her clan’s withdrawal. She was Matara in name only. She waited for Korkla to move her aside and walk away. For them al to walk away.

A tremor shook her Dramok. Michaela dared to peek at his face between her fingers and wished she hadn’t. Korkla’s sharp face had gone purple with rage.

“How. Did. This. Happen?” Each word was clipped and ground out between his teeth.

“There’s been so much work. I was focused on my job, and our Matara has suffered for it.” Raxstad’s voice was an animal’s growl.

“Oh no. No, no, no, no!” Govi’s low howl rang in Michaela’s ears. “I knew I hadn’t had much time lately, but I thought you two were with her.”

“Over six months, Govi?” Korkla’s voice rose and Michaela dropped her hands to stare at him in shock. He
never
shouted at his clan. “Whether or not you thought her needs were being met by the rest of us, that is too long! As a psychologist, you of al people should have known better! Just as four months for me—” He stood and shoved Michaela into Govi’s arms. The Imdiko, his handsome face wretched, immediately buried his face in Michaela’s curls. He moaned, “I’m sorry,” over and over. Korkla paced up and down the length of the room, unable to stand stil in his rage. He paused long enough to punch the wal. His fist went through the light panel with a dul
thunk
.

“This is not acceptable!” he yeled at them. Raxstad moved to stand between him and Govi. The Nobek watched their leader carefuly, as if afraid Korkla might actualy raise his hands against the Imdiko.

Korkla’s hands were tight fists at his side, his body so tense that the muscles corded. “The Matara is our center! Her welfare is our top priority! She does not suffer because of us!” Spit flew from his mouth as he ranted, as if Korkla had gone rabid. Michaela was so frightened by the violent demonstration that it took her several seconds to realize he was angry at himself and the other two men. Not at her.

Hopeful realization dawned. “You mean – you weren’t avoiding me on purpose?” she asked.

Three pairs of eyes turned to her. Korkla’s shoulders sagged and the fury on his face disappeared, swamped aside by agony. “Michaela. Matara.” He brushed Raxstad aside to go to her. He framed her face with his hands and pressed a desperate kiss to her lips.

Against her lips he mumbled, “You are my life. I can’t believe I let myself forget you, but the rebelion, the pressure from Clajak—” He jerked back, biting off the words with savage abruptness. “There’s no excuse. I lost sight of my priorities. I failed as your Dramok.”

Govi wept silent tears. “We al failed, me most of al. I’ve been so intent on saving other Mataras that I forgot my own.”

“You stil love me?” Michaela hated the wimpy tone in her voice, but she’d been so sure they no longer wanted her. Her heart felt bruised through and through.

Korkla choked on his answer. “That you ask that tels me how badly we have let you down. We love you, Michaela.”

“Even though Jessica had to carry Serena?” She felt as if she poked a stick at an open wound, but she had to know the entire truth, however painful.

“You are Serena’s mother!” Raxstad exclaimed. “One only has to see how you meet her every need, how when you smile at her you smile with your whole being. No disrespect to the Empress, but she was nothing more than an incubator. It was your body that started our child’s life!”

“There would be no Serena without you,” Korkla agreed. “You made us a beautiful child, my love. There has never been any question in our minds about that.”

“And your strength in alowing another woman to carry our child, so that you could give your clan the gift of a daughter—” Govi shook his head in amazement. “The courage that took astonishes me.”

“Then it realy was work that kept you from me,” Michaela said slowly. She suddenly felt ashamed of herself. They’d been working themselves into exhaustion trying to save lives, and she’d been thinking of her own loneliness; walowing in the shame of not being able to carry their child and assuming their distance was because of her failing. “God, I’m so damned self-centered,” she said, disgusted with herself.

“Not at al,” Govi said. “You have every right to be upset, being ignored the way you were.”

“You’re al doing important work, while I sit at home bitching about how hard I have it.” Michaela roled her eyes. “Damn it guys, I’m such a whiny little baby. I’m surprised you put up with my shit.” Raxstad’s rumbling laughter was a delight to hear. “When the profanity begins, I know my Matara is on her way back to being herself.” Korkla wasn’t smiling though. “Our job hours wil be cut back. You both have underlings who don’t have Mataras and children to tend. Delegate your responsibilities. I know you have major worries, but I wil not tolerate more than two days a week of late work from each of you.”

Neither man batted an eye. “Yes, Dramok,” they chorused without hesitation.

Korkla smoothed his knuckles over Michaela’s cheek. “The same goes for me. If Clajak doesn’t like it, he can get another aide.”

“Don’t be sily, Korkla.” Michaela wrapped her arms around his neck. “Clajak can’t wipe his own ass without you.” That earned laughter, but her Dramok was quick to sober. “I am so sorry, Michaela. For you to think you are not loved hurts more than I can say.”

“Show me?” She kissed him, and his lips softened against hers.

Korkla took her from Govi and laid her on their bed. His body covered hers, and he kissed her deeply. The swel of his manhood against her made her heart leap.

He did want her.

Her body responded in kind as Korkla’s tongue probed her mouth, rediscovering her after so long. She sensed the other two hovering near, eager for their turns.

“Al of you,” she said, breaking the kiss. “I need al of my clan.”

Korkla moved so that al three men had access to her. “Is this a new dress?” he asked, his gaze drinking in her prone body beneath their crowded ones.

She smiled. “It is. Do you like it?”

Raxstad answered. “The woman in it makes it beautiful.”

His words surprised and warmed her. The burly Nobek was not one to wax poetic.

They really do love me, in spite of everything.

They carefuly undressed her like a fragile present. Govi hissed to see her naked. “You are stil lovelier than any other woman I know, my Matara, but you have lost too much weight. You wil see Flencik about this tomorrow.”

“I’m okay,” she reassured him. “I just haven’t had much appetite lately.”

“You wil see your doctor as instructed, Michaela.” Korkla’s command made her shiver. She lowered her gaze from the firm expression he gave her.

“Yes, my Dramok.”

Michaela lay lax under their attentions, enjoying the much-missed feeling of their hands on her body. Their swolen members reassured her that indeed they stil wanted her, that they weren’t simply trying to quiet her complaints. Mouths descended on her as they puled their clothing and bathing wraps off. She arched as hot wet kisses found her mouth, her breasts, her two sexes. Tears flowed anew.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she said.

Govi reared up, his fangs descending as he prepared to bite her. “No more pain, my love. Every tear rips into my heart.” His needle teeth dove into her breast, and Michaela cried out in mingled pain and arousal. She writhed in delight as euphoria flooded her senses, completely erasing the sorrow of the last few months. Now al was warmth and joy and needful ardor.