Alien Manifesto (12 page)

“
Master, how will we tell
which one is AArat? They all look the same to me.”

“
He will be the biggest
one. That is the way of rodents, the biggest one is always the one
in charge,” she answered.

How much is bigger
I wondered. All the rodents I had seen so far on
this planet were about 4 feet tall and squat, furry, fat but
well-armed. I had seen a picture of AArat but I could not see any
way to distinguish one rodent from another of the same
species.

The feline master slowed to a cautious
walk. I could see the compound. We were close. It was a series of
crudely built huts surrounded by a five-foot earthen wall. So far,
this had been a piece of cake. I could not believe that the head of
a galactic intelligence agency would hide in such an indefensible
environment.

“
Master,” I signaled: “Are
you sure this is the place?”

“
Do not underestimate
AArat. The appearance of easy prey is just an illusion, a trap in
itself. There will be sophisticated electronic surveillance to deal
with,” signaled the feline master. “See, there on the corner of
that closest building is an antenna. I believe there are blasters
guarding the wall and pressure sensors on the ground around the
fence. We must circle the compound and locate the escape tunnel’s
entrance.”

As we made our way around the earthen
wall, I could see nothing that resembled an escape route from the
compound. “Are you sure there is an escape tunnel Master?” I
questioned.

“
We must widen our circle,”
signaled the feline master. “There will be one, for that is the way
of rodents.” At last, we located the escape entrance. It was
located in a small abandoned building about 1/4 of a click away
from the main compound.

“
I will raise the alarm at
the opposite side of the main compound; you wait here until AArat
tries to make his escape. Then uncloak and kill him. Be cautious:
AArat is well trained. Show no mercy and nothing fancy,” said the
feline master.

“
How will you hold off all
of his relatives?” I asked.

“
With these.” She opened
her paw and I saw a dozen or so small round pellets.

“
What are they?” I
asked.

“
Concentrated feline
essence, it will panic even the bravest rodent.” I could feel her
grin behind her cloak and I heard her purr with pleasure.
So it might not be a blood bath after all;
and a great weight lifted from my
shoulders.

As I chose my ambush site, the feline
master circled around to the entrance of the rodent compound and
deliberately triggered the alarm. This brought a horde of rodents
rushing from different buildings to zealously guard their home.
Then the feline master let loose her feline bombs.

Slowly at first then all at once panic
ensued behind the earthen wall as rodents fled in every direction.
One even triggered the protective blasters and got itself
vaporized. This caused even greater panic.

Then I heard a muffled scrambling
headed in my direction from underground and I readied myself. I did
not have to wait long. The biggest rat I had ever seen emerged from
the escape hatch. He was at least six feet tall and easily weighed
300 pounds. His long sharp teeth jutted out from the front of his
mouth, he had a panicked look in his eyes.

That must be AArat. I uncloaked and
jumped down off the roof of the building behind him, landing with a
soft thud. AArat whirled and fired his blaster at the sound. It
went wide. I did not hesitate: I drew my blaster and fired out of
reflex from the hip, hitting him squarely in the chest, knocking
him flat on his back. I waited tensed and held steady, ready to
fire again if necessary, I did not know how much force the rat
could take before it killed him. I wanted to make sure he was dead.
Then just to be sure I fired my blaster again, hitting AArat right
between his now dull and glazing eyes.

Dead men tell no
tales
,
or rats,
or whatever he was.

Then with my usual
flourish, I holstered my blaster, cloaked, and went to find the
feline master. The mission was over. Now all we had to do was get
off this nasty planet. Then I could finally take a bath and eat
some decent food. Besides, I missed Tasha.
I know she is just a pleasure bio-mech, but a man has his
needs and I am a long way from home.

~

“
Snarth,” called SSlice
from the cockpit of the orbiting shuttle. “I just received a call
for retrieval from Human Tom and the feline master. They report
that AArat is dead and that secrecy was maintained.”

“
ssSend them extraction
coordinatesss azsss clossse to them azsss we can get,” ordered
Snarth with his best tentacle wiggling grin.

When the shuttle landed 20 minutes
later, both myself and the feline master were waiting. The shuttle
landing and pickup went unobserved, the crew relaxing once the
feline master and I were onboard. Wisely, no one commented on our
odor. Within minutes, we were in space and setting coordinates for
the jump home, the mission seemingly a complete success.

“
ssSSlice, keep monitoring
your sssensorsss: we aren’t home yet.”

“
Yes sir,” answered SSlice.
“We have two planetary defense fighters on an intercept
course.”

“
How long till we fold
ssspace,” hissed Snarth.

“
Two minutes till we round
the equator and have a straight flight path,” answered
SSlice.

“
How long until thossse
fightersss intercept usss?” Snarth hissed urgently.

“
One minute to firing
range,” called SSlice.

“
ssSon of a mud-sssucking
newert,” muttered Snarth. “Reconfigure jump at a ninety degree
angle away from our computed flight path. We don’t want them
following usss home,” ordered Snarth. “Take usss out two short time
unitsss then compute and execute a courssse to my
essstate.”

“
Already done sir,”
answered SSlice.

“
Then get usss out of
here!” hissed Snarth loudly.

Later at Snarth’s estate, after a much
needed scrubbing by Tasha, I headed to the dining hall to join the
team in celebrating a successful mission. Drink flowed freely,
followed by many alien delicacies, some of which I tried, some I
could not stomach and politely declined. Then it was time for a
fine smoke and some more of my favorite, Snarth’s famous Belgian
abbey ale.

As I lay sprawled out on the dining
couch finishing the last of my smoke with the feline master curled
up beside me and purring softly in my ear, Snarth stood to make an
announcement.

“
ssSSlice hasss just
informed me azsss to who hasss taken over the intelligence
ssservice. And I couldn’t be more pleasssed. It isss my old friend
and comrade, Howler.”

“
Howler?” growled the
canine master Rowl. “I haven’t seen that old rascal in
years.”

“
Nor have I,” said Snarth.
“And I think a visssit isss long overdue. Rowl, you will accompany
me in the morning to sssee him. Massster feline, you will be in
charge of training until I return. I ssshould only be gone a couple
of light cyclesss. I am sssure when Howler hearsss my concernsss
about the Cult of Eli, he will finisssh what we ssstarted and
dessstroy them once and for all. Now get sssome sssleep everyone,
training ssstartsss at 0400.”

~

After a short jump in his private
yacht and a very long wait in Howler’s outer office Snarth began to
wonder if his old friend might not want to see him after all. Even
Rowl, whose patience was second to only the feline master’s, was
getting uneasy. Finally, an administrative mech ushered them into
Howler’s office.

The office was a sparsely appointed
room, not unlike the one they had just spent an afternoon waiting
in. “Howler always was a man of simple tastes,” commented Rowl as
they entered.

“
He just got appointed and
probably hasss not had a chance to move all the way in,” hissed
Snarth.

“
The director will be with
you in a moment,” said the administrative mech in its metallic
version of Galactic standard. Then the mech left them alone to
wait.

After several minutes, Howler strolled
into the office flanked by two more administrative mechs who were
busy implementing Howler’s orders. “That will be all for now,” said
Howler, dismissing the mechs, and they scurried away to do whatever
mechs do until called for.

With his arms outstretched toward
Snarth, Howler said, “Snarth, to what do I owe the
pleasure?”

“
Do I have to have a
reassson old friend?” responded Snarth.

Smiling, Howler crossed the room to
embrace Snarth, pounding him on the back while giving him a
bone-crushing bear hug. “And Rowl, you old son of a bitch, how are
you? I haven’t seen you since we were just pups.” Howler repeated
the ritual hug with Rowl; complete with backslapping that would
have injured a lesser being.

“
I am doing well Howler. It
is good to see you again.”

Howler opened a file on his pad and
sat down behind the desk, the only furnishing in the room besides
two chairs. Motioning them to sit Howler asked, “I thought you were
a professional fighter now, not doing bodyguard service.” This
immediately put Snarth on alert. Perhaps the Cult of Eli business
was not as finished as he hoped.

“
I have won a few fights,”
answered Rowl, “But I prefer to work for Snarth. It pays
better.”

“
So what they say about
that business involving the Cult of Eli is true,” said Howler
staring straight at Snarth.

“
If you are referring to
the death of the Cult’sss leader, he brought that on himssself,”
said Snarth flatly, dropping all pretense.

“
How so?” asked Howler.
“Perhaps you had better start from the beginning.” Howler’s chair
creaked as he leaned back with an expectant look on his
face.

“
And I thought thisss wasss
a friendly visit,” hissed Snarth.

“
It is, old friend, I just
want to get the facts straight,” said Howler.

So Snarth began his tale, starting
with his finding out where the artifact was, how he stole it from
Shorty and its subsequent sale to parties unnamed. Snarth carefully
left out the part that I played in the artifact’s theft. “And that
leadsss usss up to where we were trying to mislead ssSniggle and
the cult leader about who hasss the artifact. I could not on my
honor tell them, or you for that matter, who I sssold the artifact
to.”

“
So this is where AArat
accused you of recruiting from an emerging planet?” asked
Howler.

Thinking carefully Snarth paused
before answering.

“
It is of no consequence to
me, Snarth, if you are or not. I am just trying to get to the
bottom of the Cult’s involvement in the Galactic Senate. Stopping
that is my only concern. I have explicit orders from the executive
branch to use any means necessary to achieve that objective. I am
not interested in anything as trivial as recruiting orphans,” said
Howler, revealing that he knew far more about Snarth’s activities
then he let on.

“
You are very well
informed, old friend,” replied Snarth. “It’sss true; I have
recruited two orphansss from a planet called Earth. I have alssso
engaged the ssservicesss of a ssstealth massster to train them. The
leader of the Cult of Eli managed to capture the ssstealth massster
and tortured her. One of the Humansss ressscued her. Once ssshe
wasss free, ssshe killed the leader in an act of vengeance. What
happened on the planet after isss no fault of mine,” hissed
Snarth.

“
And which one of them
killed AArat?” asked Howler.

“
AArat wasss a fool. He
sssent an asssasssin mech to kill me,” hissed Snarth. “Inssstead it
targeted one of the Humansss, who dessstroyed it. He claimed
vengeance againssst AArat. AArat was ssslower and got himssself
killed,” hissed Snarth finishing his explanation.

“
That’s pretty much how I
see it, old friend. That human of yours must be pretty good to get
the drop on AArat.”

“
He just got some
enhancements done and I hope I never have to fight him in anger,”
chimed in Rowl, confirming Howler’s suspicions. “After all, I
taught him how to fight. And the feline master considered him her
equal before his enhancements.”

“
Well that’s good enough
for me. I call this case closed,” said Howler as he closed the open
file on his pad. “Who’s hungry?” he asked. “I know this place that
serves the best food you have ever had. My treat,” he offered his
two friends.

“
That is the best thing you
have said all day,” woofed Rowl, accepting the
invitation.

“
How about you, Snarth?”
asked Howler expectantly. “Come on old friend, loosen up, it will
be like old times.”

“
You are ON,” said Snarth
with a huge tentacle wiggling grin.

Later after much food and drink and as
Rowl snored on the eating couch, Snarth asked Howler “How bad isss
it?”

“
Well, let’s just say that
we caught the members of the Cult of Eli in the final planning
stages of a full scale coup against the executive branch. I doubt
they would have been able to pull it off without help inside the
executive branch. But I don’t know who the inside man is. I will
find out even if I have to search every planet in the galaxy,”
answered Howler resolutely. “If you hadn’t forced their hand we may
not have known about it until it was too late. I for one will never
forget the part you played in the discovery of the Cult’s
plans.”