I thought I heard something, but it must have been one of the coyotes coming down to see the commotion.
It was after midnight and I finally got my composure and put my dress back into place. I fixed my hair, because it was in disarray and had that well-fucked look.
I walked ahead of him and knew that he was looking at me and most likely reliving what we had just done together. He could easily strip me bare in his mind and that was his right from being my lover.
“It doesn’t help that you are staring at me. I don’t even have to look behind me to know that you are undressing me with your eyes. I understand why, but the fact is I was wrong to get involved with you in the first place. I should have known better. It’s probably just a passing fancy. I hope that you haven’t read more into it than it is.” We were walking down the driveway to my house, which was an old farmhouse that had been passed down from one generation to the next.
It was white with red trim up around each window.
“This is exactly like something that I had when I was growing up. I think that I will be very happy here. I know from personal experience that the owner goes above and beyond to satisfy visitors.” He was teasing me and I felt a flush along my chest. If he were to kiss me right then, I might just have found myself succumbing to my basic nature right there on the front lawn. I was glad that he didn’t, but there was a big part that wanted him to just take control and take me like a real woman.
I showed him down the hall to the guest room and I was tempted to join him for a night of love-making that would end with a smile on both of our faces. It took a lot of willpower to walk away from a sure thing. He had already stoked the fires and I could not put them out, no matter how much I wanted to.
There was a message on the machine that told me that Calvin would be a little later than usual. There was an emergency with a neighbor dog that had been hit by a car. He had no idea when he was getting home.
I was underneath the roof with the same man who had just had his way with me. He was just down the hall, not more than a few feet away and it would’ve been so easy to fall into his arms all over again.
I lay there in my bed soaking wet with the fan barely able to contain the heat that was now burning within me.
***
I think I tossed and turned for over an hour, before going downstairs and finding him in the kitchen. He was shirtless and had no idea that I was there, but I could easily see that he was trying to beat the heat himself. There was a window open and the slight breeze was only barely noticeable. It didn’t really cool anything off.
“I guess we both had the same idea.” I was wearing one of Calvin’s shirts and even as he turned, I became quite aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. He could see the swell of my bosom and this light sheen of perspiration was now easily drawing his eyes to me like a bull does to a matador.
“Normally, I would have air conditioning,” he said. “I find your way of life simple, but effective.” He sat down and had a chilled glass of water with ice clinking against the sides in front of him. He took one of them out and moved it around his neck, with droplets of that ice now sliding down his chest and heading towards a region that I had become quite acquainted with.
“I think that I’m going to do the same thing.” I went over to the yellow refrigerator and opened it to find the jug of water. I poured myself a glass and then reached into the freezer to get ice cubes.
“Teresa, I noticed that there are photos of you when you are younger with your father. He was obviously a big influence in your life, and why you didn’t follow him in his footsteps confuses me. You obviously have the same skill. You can’t tell me that you’ve dreamed of living on a farm with a man that you don’t really love. There has to be something that you’re passionate about that gets you out of bed in the morning. There must be something that you want to do that will allow you finally to follow your dream.” It was as though he had been reading my mind. It made me feel strangely defensive.
“I don’t know why it even matters to you,” I said. “It’s not like my situation is going to change overnight. Let’s just say for argument’s sake that you’re right and that this isn’t the way that I’ve envisioned my life going. I’ve always had this desire to get into a plane and fly it. I want to get my license and see the world like it is supposed to be seen. I want to be that bird flying in the sky, so free and untethered from the rest of the world.”
“I can see that you love the idea of flying. You really should pursue it. The one thing that I believe in life is that you should never allow your dreams to be unfulfilled. I’ve always gone my own way and there’s only one regret that I have in my life. I’ve accomplished so much, but my son Derek hardly knows I’m alive. I barely see him and those times that I do, I feel that there’s this… icy wall between...”
He was having problems talking and I was purposely doing the exact same thing with the ice cube that he had been doing. I rolled it back and forth along my neck, closing my eyes and enjoying the fact that I was making him feel a little uncomfortable in his own skin.
“Why did you stop?” I asked him. Seeing him act like a child down by the pond showed me that he could in touch with his innocence. Hearing him talk about his son had showed me a vulnerability that made me unable to stop staring at him.
“I really don’t want to talk about this. It’s a very painful subject. Besides, it’s not like you are going to change your life either. You’re not going to take the bull by the horns and do what you want to do. You’re going to stay trapped here like an animal, until you’re either gnawing it off, or you die with your dream still hanging there over your head, just out of reach.”
“You can’t really say that, Richard. You don’t know me well enough. For you to presume anything only makes you a fool.” I think he knew me better than I knew myself. He was right. I would never get out of the rut my life was in. I would allow Calvin to make me feel like I was going through the motions.
I think I knew deep down that it was time to cut ties and leave this town behind me. I just didn’t know if I had the strength to do it alone. I wanted to, but I didn’t want to hurt Calvin. He must have known that on some level this wasn’t working, but he couldn’t admit it to himself.
“You’re right,” said Richard. “I’ve only known you a short time, but I feel that there’s something inside of you that wants to escape.” He was still watching me intently. I’m sure that he noticed that the white shirt I was wearing was becoming an erotic reminder of what we had done already. The droplets of water had now soaked through and my nipples were eraser tips that could easily be seen through the fabric.
“Richard, I think we both can agree that family is the most important thing. I think that you’re doing yourself a disservice by not reaching out and getting to know your son. He sounds strong-willed and I’m sure that reminds you of somebody.” I got up with every intention of going back to my room, when he reached out and grabbed the glass from my hand.
I pulled back and it caused the cold water to spill all over me. The chill that it caused made me shiver. He pulled me towards him and with a flourish of motion, he was able to rip open the shirt and expose me to his eager and hungry eyes.
***
It had been less than a couple of hours since we had been together and yet it felt like this was the first time. “I was lying in the bed upstairs and was wondering what was taking you so long to come down the hall to me. I was tempted to just barge into your bedroom, but I thought that might be a little presumptuous.”
I felt a little exposed. The fabric that was left was barely hiding my breasts. “I’m not sure what I’m doing,” I said. “I just know that it feels good and for the first time in my life, I’m grabbing it and never letting me go.” He kissed me and I climbed onto the table on my knees, until I was right in front of him with his head buried in my cleavage.
His tongue went back and forth from one to the other, while at the same time his hand was now making contact with my sex. I was already soaking wet, either by the heat that was making the room feel like it was closing in, or the fact that I was that hot for him that I couldn’t sit still.
It had never intended to betray my husband, even though the marriage was failing and we just didn’t have the courage to pull the trigger. Calvin might have thought that everything was OK, but I think deep down he knew that we were losing touch. We were still friends, but that fire that made a relationship vital was no longer there. I wasn’t sure if it was even there from the beginning.
He slid two fingers in between the lips and he was now making contact with my G-spot. I had no choice, but to bite down on his shoulder and finally scream. I think that if it wasn’t for the unseasonable warmth, I might have been able to deny myself these feelings. It was that heat and the feeling of his body that was now combining to become a force onto itself.
“I can’t do this,” I said.
“Teresa, you can do this and I know that you want to do this. Let yourself be the woman that you are supposed to be. Stop hiding in this small town and letting it swallow you whole.” He was seeing me like nobody had ever seen me before. It was a huge wakeup call. My body responded to his touch and that first climactic moment was only the beginning.
I had snuck my hand down into the waistband of his shorts. I easily found his turgid flesh and I gave it tentative tugs to make sure that it was up to perform. It was hard and unyielding and I could feel the product of his excitement. I used his pre-come to give him that necessary slick feel. I curled my legs down off the table, until they were wrapped around his waist.
“That’s it, Richard. Make me feel. Make me feel anything.” The first thrust took my breath away and he stayed there against me with our tongues entwined. He stayed completely still and I was using him as my own personal toy.
“You’re the woman that I’ve been looking for all my life,” he said. “Your body is a work of art that needs to be appreciated. I would never ask you to exchange one prison for another. I just want to be there to witness this transformation. I want to have a small part in finally seeing you explore that hidden part of yourself. Whether it is in the bedroom, or in the open skies. I want to see that joy on your face.” I could feel him pushing up against me and then pulling back and doing it all over again.
“I want to be that woman. I want you to help me be that woman.” I knew that I was close to an epiphany. I hadn’t wanted to admit it, but my life was stagnant. There had been no joy in it.
The dishes scattered to the floor and I could hear the glass shattering. I didn’t even care that it was my mother’s fine china. It was a small price to pay to finally wake up and realize that I was living a lie. I was not doing myself any favors by staying and I was not doing Calvin any favors by keeping him from finding that true love of his life.
Our bodies were now moving a little faster and the legs on the table were now scraping across the surface of the wood floor. He was grunting and groaning, as his response to my silky insides now bearing down on him like a tight vise. That glove-like fit was now encouraging him to let me have the contents of his balls.
It was in his demeanor and in his walk that I could see that he came from a hard life. Just because he had billions of dollars, didn’t mean that he didn’t have to crawl and fight for everything in his life. This was a misconception. His riches did not come from generation to generation.
We were slapping together wetly and out of control, when the front door opened. I screamed and then I was pulled away from the spurting organ that had now given me what I had wanted most of all.
I was completely out of it, but I could see through my hazy vision that Calvin was now letting his emotions rule him. He charged toward Richard, swinging punches and hollering.
I could see that Richard was trying his best not to use force. He was dodging the punches. I could tell that Calvin was attacking wildly, throwing punches in frustration. It was just a matter of time before Richard was going to have to defend himself.
At the last second, I moved in between them and pushed them back from each other. I was completely naked, but I felt like I had to do something.
“Calvin, I know that this is a bit of a shock. I think we’ve both known for some time that our love has fizzled. I don’t know what happened. I just know that I’ve finally been able to see what was right in front of me. We are not meant for each other and I think that deep down you know that. Just look into yourself and you’ll see the answer.” I could see his anger seething, but I could also see a semblance of calm coming over his features. I kept talking.
“I think that you’re only angry because you’re unable to admit that this relationship has run its course. I want you to be happy and I want you to have love and I want you to have a woman who will give you the love that you deserve. I’m not that girl anymore. I haven’t been for some time.” Calvin wasn’t even looking at Richard; he was concentrating his words and his attention on me.
Calvin nodded grimly.
He waited downstairs, so that I could pack a few things. I was afraid that I was going to come down and find both of them fighting again. What I found instead was an icy silence that had them on either side of the room staring at each other with daggers.
I motioned for Richard and he came over. He went out the door first. I turned to find Calvin. We were looking at each other and the truth was written across our faces. He kissed me lightly on the lips and I somehow knew that we would always be friends. We hugged and then he finally let me go.