A_Little_Harmless_Fascination (22 page)

Worse, he knew what bugged him more than anything about
Aiona. In a few weeks, Conner would be gone. He had read the message in the
younger man’s expression. Just thinking about another man touching Jillian had
Conner grinding his teeth.

“I keep telling that boy to be careful,” Micah said. “He has
a taste for older women, especially black women."

“He saw her at the club when she was there a couple of weeks
ago. He mentioned it.”

Micah nodded. “Believe it or not, he’s a Dom, and he is in
hot demand with the women, especially the older subs. They know he likes them
at least ten years older.”

“Well, it’s not him.” And that chapped his hide. Conner
would have loved to have a reason to beat the crap out of St John or Danny.
Even now he was balling his fingers up into a fist. Conner counted back from
ten mentally and relaxed his fingers.

“And you’ve checked out everyone?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I have no idea what the fuck to do now.”

Micah leaned back in his chair and crossed his ankles. “I
think you just need to be careful.”

The frustration of the last few days boiled over into anger.
He knew Micah was only trying to help, but dammit, he had to yell at someone.
“Be careful? Someone tried to kill her.”

Micah studied him for a moment. “Listen, man, I know what
you’re going through, believe me.”

He blew out a breath and gained back some control of his
emotions. Yelling at Micah wasn’t going to help. It made him feel better, but
it wasted time. “I know.”

“I had to fly to Vegas thinking Devon had abducted her to
hand her over to their bastard of a father. Over six hours on the plane before
I got there.”

Thinking back to that time, he remembered seeing Dee’s
brother for the first time in person. “Did Devon ever forgive you for that
broken nose you gave him?”

“I guess so since I’m giving him a niece or nephew to spoil.
You know those Italians, they love family.”

He snorted then sobered. “I’ll go back over the list. The
police are now involved, of course. Without Carino here, they put someone else
on the case, but they are hitting dead ends.”

“And you’re here. That will ward off some of the worry, I’m sure.
Anyone who is thinking about bothering her here will be hesitant. Especially
with those two bikers who are hanging around next door. They looked at me
sideways when I came up.” He glanced out the window then back to Conner. “I
take it you put in some cameras?”

“Yeah.” Conner was still kicking his ass for not taking it
more seriously at first. Of course, the brakes could have happened anywhere,
but it still might have helped. They had punctured holes in the lines, and they
had been leaking for a long time. “I just can’t figure out who would want her
dead.”

“It’s because you’re too close to her because you love her.”

That stopped him, and he frowned at Micah. He had been
through this with other friends who were married. They always thought every
relationship he had was serious.

“I didn’t say I was in love.”

Micah shook his head. “Bra, you don’t have to say you’re in
love. It’s written all over your face.”

“You’re talking shit.”

“Tell me, would you normally sleep with your sister’s
friend? Or perhaps you always feel this murderous when men talk to women you
date?”

Shit
. No. He
rarely got jealous, and from the very first, he had been over Jillian.

When he said nothing, Micah continued. “I doubt you would
have taken her to bed with your entanglements if you weren’t in love with her,
man. Hell, you’re practically living together.”

“We aren’t living together, and we aren’t in love.”

“Why don’t you tell us exactly how you feel, Conner?”

Both of them looked over. Jillian was leaning against the
doorjamb with her arms crossed.

“And I think this is where I come up with something witty to
say and leave,” Micah said as he rose.

He walked toward Jillian, giving her a kiss on the cheek. He
said something to her that Conner couldn’t hear, then he walked out. The door shut
with an almost quiet click.

She didn’t say anything. He was accustomed to quiet. He
could outlast the worst suspects and reduce them to tears. Now, though, he felt
the need to fill the space.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

Conner inwardly cringed. Now he sounded like even more of an
ass.

Her eyebrows shot up. “Apparently.”

“Listen, Jillian--”

She held up her hand to stop him. She had no expression, and
he wished she did. Even if she were pissed, he would rather deal with that. She
was one of the most expressive women he had ever met, but now she looked
solemn.

“You don’t have to explain. I never asked for anything. I
don’t expect anything.”

It was what he would have told himself if she’d thrown a
fit. Now, though, it made him feel small, so he couldn’t help but speak the
truth. “But you should.”

The smile she gave him had his heart turning over in his
chest.

“I stopped giving a damn about doing what I should the day I
punched my date to the deb ball and broke his nose. I pretty much do what I want
now.”

He shook his head. “You should expect more.”

“I don’t expect. My expectations are not what someone else
might want. I live life like I want to and expecting things from other people
would conflict with that.”

“What do you want?” he asked, almost afraid to hear the
answer.

She cocked her head. “Nothing more than for you to accept
that I love you.”

She turned and left him alone in the kitchen. For a moment,
his brain would just not function. She had stunned him once again. From the first,
she had been honest to a fault, and there was no artifice in her.

Conner shook his head. He wasn’t looking for this, for her,
for what she was doing to him. He had an ordered life. His business was exactly
where he wanted it. But why was he working so hard? He had more money than he
knew what to do with, and he just kept worrying about making more. And where
did it get him? Maura and he were set for life. They didn’t need anything else.
But he had worked hard, and harder still. It was then that it hit him. He had
been missing something else in his life. And until now, he hadn’t realized it
wasn’t more money or power.

It was Jillian. It was sappy to think that way—that the one
thing he was missing was love, but it was true.

He followed Jillian to the back of the house and found her
on the computer in her office. It was a crazy space filled with everything that
would drive him insane. Books were stacked haphazardly on the bookcase. She had
pictures on every surface, some personal, some professional, but they littered
every available table. Framed posters decorated the walls.

Two weeks ago, he barely knew the woman. He knew
about
her. Her family, her background,
but he didn’t know her. Now he did. He knew that she was honest and hard
working, loyal to a fault, and so giving that it stunned him. He knew that she
lived a simple life and more importantly, he knew what she sounded like in the
morning when she first woke up.

“Are you going to keep staring at me?”

“If I want to.”

He couldn’t see her expression but he knew she was smiling.

“Come with me.”

She stopped typing. “Is that an order?”

He thought about it. For once, he wasn’t sure. He knew if he
ordered her to do it, she would. He didn’t want that. “A request.”

She glanced at him, and he held out his hand. She didn’t
hesitate. When she slipped her hand into his, he felt as if something shifted
inside him. If she had refused, he wouldn’t have pushed it. At least he hoped
so. Right now, he wasn’t sure what his emotions would cause him to do. He was
always so sure of his next actions, but since the first, he had been off-kilter
with Jillian. If he could, he would blame it on his situation.

She rose from the chair, and he led her back to the bedroom.
There was part of him that needed just this. The last few days had been
horrible, and he just needed her there. In that bed. The need to dominate was
still there, but now he needed something else, something more. He wanted to
show her how he felt without words. That meant more to him.

He pulled her into his arms when they were in the bedroom,
and his entire body reacted. The frenzied need she always inspired in him was
there, but something else was there, also, something the he was afraid to
address. If he were honest, it was as if he’d found the place to just be him.

Jillian lifted her face at the same time he was bending his
head to kiss her. The soft, sweet kiss soon transformed. His blood roared with
a hunger that almost unmanned him. He wanted to pull her on the bed, just take
her. But he wanted to love her, to let her know just how much he needed her.

He pulled off her tank top and sighed when he slipped his
hand over her breasts. Her head fell back as she moaned. Conner licked his lips
before he leaned down and took her nipple into his mouth. She moaned again, and
the Dom in him didn't want to be ignored. He bit back the need, or tried too.

Jillian must have sensed it in him, as she always did.

"Conner."

He lifted his head, and she took his face in her hands
before kissing him. The kiss was hot and wet, and he felt it all the way to the
soles of his feet.

When she pulled back, her eyes were heavy lidded, her lust
easy to see.

"Take me to bed."

The command had his body reacting before he could do
anything about it. Need crawled through him, and he tried one last time to keep
it controlled.

"I wanted to be gentle,” he said.

“Do what you want. I’m yours.”

She whispered the words against his mouth. It was like a
balm to his soul.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

She pulled back and cocked her head as she studied him.
"Are you scared?"

Yes
.

He was. The woman scared him more than anything in his life.
Serial killers had been easier to handle than this one woman. She had the
ability to see into his soul, and dammit, she apparently liked what she saw
there. But, he said none of this.

Instead, he leaned down, keeping his eyes open while he did
it. When he pulled back, he slipped her board shorts down her legs and sighed.
She hardly ever wore panties with them and today was no exception. The tiny
palm tree charm dangled from her belly button, shimmering against her skin. He
was easily becoming addicted to seeing all those tats and piercings.

He knew if he ordered her, she would do anything. She would
allow him to control everything, and that was part of his personality. But as a
seasoned Dom, he also understood other needs. And now, he needed this. He
needed to show her with his actions how he felt.

He picked her up and laid her on the bed, then joined her
there. Covering her body with his, he took his time, tasting her skin, loving
the way her body moved against his mouth. By the time he reached her sex, she
was already moaning his name and moving against him.

The flavor of her slammed through him. He grazed her clit
with his teeth and enjoyed the way she shivered. But that was not enough. He
wanted more.

He pulled away and reached for the condom. After he had it
on, he pulled her up on top of him. She looked down at him with the setting sun
slipping through the cracks in the blinds behind her, bringing out the gold
that rimmed her eyes.

“Take me in,” he ordered.

Her lips curved, and she lifted up off him, taking his cock
in one hand and then sinking down on him. They both let out a sigh when she
sunk all the way down on his cock.

Then she started to move. He couldn’t tear his gaze away
from her. Gorgeous, her body seemingly made for him. Soon, though, he was
ready. He wanted to come, and he wanted her there with him. He reached up,
teasing her clit, and she gasped. He felt the first shimmer of her orgasm as
her muscles flexed tighter on his shaft, and he could no longer hold back.

His orgasm shattered him. He thrust up into her one more
time and felt his body drain as she came again.

She collapsed on him, their breathing the only sound in the
room. Jillian pulled herself up and leaned over him.

“I do love you, Conner.”

He opened his mouth, but she kissed him.

“Don’t. I know you care, and that’s enough for me.”

And if he told her what was in his heart, she would never
believe him. Instead, he pulled her close and accepted that one day they would
both deal with it.

*
 
*
 
*
 
*

Jillian watched the waves crash against the rocks below. A
winter storm had hit, and it was definitely a bitch. Normally, she would enjoy
the snapping of electricity in the air and the chaos it created. It always
seemed to fuel her creativity. Since there weren’t that many of these kinds of
storms in Hawaii, she always relished when one hit the island.

Now, though, it was too close to what she was feeling
inside.

She stood and walked around, trying to ease the tension
threading in her veins. Since the night before, she couldn’t seem to calm
herself. She lived her life in a certain order. People thought she was some
kind of weird bohemian without a care in the world, but she had things that
weighed heavily on her mind.

Her entire family despised her, but they depended on her to
keep everything tight. They came to her with every worry, and she had to deal
with their mistakes and downfalls. She had a wealth of readers who wanted the
next book now. She loved them, but the pressure wasn't easy to deal with. Not
with everything else she had going on.

Falling in love was something she hadn’t planned and wasn’t
ready to deal with at the moment.