All About Me (2 page)

Dora
’
s face falls as she looks at me with so much hatred in her eyes that her glare could burn bridges.

“
Jacob,
”
she says quietly, her face turning red.
“
Punch him for me, really, really hard; right now!
”

I shake my head, laughing silently, knowing that Jacob wouldn
’
t touch me. I
’
ve rescued him from all sorts of shit. I
’
m so absorbed with thoughts about India that I don
’
t see him coming from behind me, sending a swift punch to my face. It happens so fast I have no time to react. His punch sends me down to the ground, splitting my lip and taking me by a hell of a surprise. My mind spins until I register the sharp pain.

“
Sorry, man, you deserved it,
”
he states, massaging his fists. I glare back at him, lifting myself off the floor. Dora looks furious, like she is just about to throw herself on me with her nails and scratch my face until I can
’
t move anymore.

My breathing is shallow; I taste blood in my mouth. Jacob is my mate, so I can
’
t believe that he hit me. Swallowing hard, I get up, knowing that he is right. I deserved it because of what I
’
ve done to India, and it makes me sick.

“
Get the fuck out of my apartment! And if something happens to India, I swear to God I
’
ll make your life more miserable than it was in high school. I
’
ll make sure that you regret it for the rest of your life.
”

Dora is more than pissed. I don
’
t understand how such a small person can radiate so much hate. Jacob is avoiding my eyes now, looking away. My chest heaves with hot guilt as I reach for my bloody lip. The pain means nothing to me. I know that I have to fix this somehow. Now everyone thinks that I
’
m just the fucked-up bloke who couldn
’
t get over his desire for revenge, who was too immature to come to his senses.

I don
’
t say anything when I leave, and I think that
’
s for the best. Outside I realise that I
’
m wet; water drips down my hair, mixing with blood. Jacob battered my face. I can
’
t believe that I
’
m so fucked-up. Instead of going home like I am supposed to, I hurry outside and sprint across the campus. Sam used his talent to record India
’
s love for me. For a short moment in the restaurant, I wanted and needed payback, and it blinded me. She told me that she loved me and I threw it back in her face because, in front of my eyes, all I could see was her and my prick dead brother in bed together. India and I had it all figured out, but Christian made sure that I wouldn
’
t make it in time. This bastard knew all along that I was planning to snatch his girl away. And she had sex with him, despite what she felt for me.
 

It is still raining and my legs are completely numb. I pray deep down that Sam hasn
’
t posted that video yet. India hasn
’
t come home yet and I
’
m worried about her. She wouldn
’
t hurt herself
—
she isn
’
t weak
—
but what I
’
ve done to her could break anyone. There is no one in Sam
’
s house. The boys are probably still out and that fucking film is a makeit-or-break-it thing. Sam can have the money. Now none of this matters, because India won
’
t forgive me.

I waste some valuable time outside Sam
’
s home, and then I head towards my own neighbourhood. My lip is still bleeding, and I think that Jacob should have beaten me up to the point where I couldn
’
t get up. Then, maybe, I
’
d have gained some kind of relief. India now bears all my old insecurities. Right now, everyone thinks that I
’
m the tough guy that can have any girl he wants, but as soon as I saw her this year, my old fucked-up childhood was out in the open.

I made this all about me, all about my hatred and what she
’
d done to me in high school. Right now I also hate myself because she is gone.

Chapter Two

Another punch.

Present,
India

I feel like I
’
m drowning and my head is about to explode. He didn
’
t really do that to me, he didn
’
t humiliate me in the worst possible way, just because he couldn
’
t let go of his fucked up past?

The whole thing seems like a crazy, gut wrenching nightmare that keeps coming back every night.

 
For a few weeks I was happy, dancing in my room imagining what the future would hold for the both of us.

CRUSH!

There is no future, nothing to look forward to, just plain deep gloom.

I
’
m running ahead not looking back, tears are rolling over my cheeks, pain, deep and sharp is cutting through my lungs and heart.

Oliver
’
s laugh rings in my head, pain moves down to my stomach, spreading to every pore; every joint and I can
’
t take this anymore.

I
’
ve just won another bet. Getting you to like me again. It worked, didn
’
t it?
”

I will always remember his words, the look on his face when he said it. Dora and everyone else had been right about him. He had never loved me, never cared for me and I
’
ve fallen into another trap.

I run for a while, no matter where, no matter for how long. I want to get away from the places that remind me of him, the faces that are mocking me.

That bastard is probably laughing at me right now with his mates, enjoying his video. Jacob must have known what Oliver was planning.

Going back to the apartment is out of the question. I
’
m soaked from head to toe; my heart is in my throat, burning with pain and hatred. I stop for a second, look left and right at the empty street. I don
’
t recognise the buildings, the roads or the cars. It
’
s like the world I know has disappeared and nothing is the same anymore.

This pain evolves like a snake slithering through my veins and infecting me with its poison, I feel the agony, I can
’
t even breathe anymore.

I glance at the street and a memory starts forming in my head. Russell lives nearby. I don
’
t understand how I
‘
ve ended up here or how I got here, but it doesn
’
t matter, because I don
’
t want to be alone.

The thunder and lightning crash over the sky and the rain intensifies, so I carry on running until I arrive at his house.

My lungs are on fire and I can
’
t stop crying. I ring his bell over and over. If he lives with someone then that
’
s too bad because I
’
ve now woken them all up. He can
’
t turn me away.

The door opens, I stand in the darkness staring straight at him.

“
India, what the fuck
…
is that you? What the hell are you doing here?
”
he asks staring at me, seeing me as the real person without judgment and lies. Before I realise what I
’
m doing my body suddenly moves forward and I throw myself in his arms.
“
Shhh, it
’
s all right, come on stop this now.
”

His voice soothes making me feel safe but I can
’
t stop crying. I don
’
t even know what I
’
m doing here seeking comfort from the guy I
’
ve pushed away, and a stranger.

He takes me inside, locks the door, the dizziness suddenly hits me and I feel like I
’
m going to pass out. I
’
m shivering and cold.

“
Wow, hold still Indi, I
’
m here,
”
he whispers, lifting me over before I collapse on the floor.

Russell places me on the sofa and disappears for a moment. Next thing I know I have a warm blanket over me.

“
Come on Indi, tell me what
’
s happened. Is it that prick? He did something to you?
”

When I finally look at him I see a guy that truly cares for me, that wants nothing in return.

“
He never loved me, he only
did
it for a bet!
”
I howl.

“
Shhh, don
’
t get upset, you don
’
t have to think about him now, just relax and forget all about it. Russell is here and you
’
re the luckiest girl on this planet because I
’
m going to take care of you,
”

Then, just like that I smile and I know that destiny has decided for me, by bringing me here. Oliver will soon be just a distant memory.

Present:
Oliver

As Monday morning approaches I can
’
t seem to keep my eyes open. I went to bed at twelve and tried to sleep, but it was a struggle. Toxic thoughts and memories kept me up all night. I
’
ve been thinking about all the crap that India had put me through in high school, justifying what I
did
to her in the restaurant
—
but no, I pushed the boat too far.

I stayed in my room the whole Sunday, tending to my fucked-up misery and thinking about how I was going to tell her how I really felt. I needed a friend, so a bottle of vodka helped me cope through the night. I also made some phone calls, catching up with Sam and his mates. Sadly, the video was online by the time I managed to speak to them. With my persuasive arguments, they agreed to take it down. I threatened to beat the shit out of them and that was enough for them to listen to me. I have a reputation in Braxton and people are scared to cross me.

In the afternoon I went to India
’
s apartment, but no one answered the door. I called her, but the phone went to voicemail after just one ring. Jacob came home in the evening, telling me to back off. He didn
’
t want to say anything about India, because Dora was in charge and told him to keep his mouth shut.

“
You made your bed, so now you have to lie in it,
”
he said, shaking his head like my mother when she was disappointed in me.
“
Sorry man, but you
’
ve done a really shitty thing. I thought that you ditched that cruel idea a long time ago?
”

I didn
’
t reply, walking away and clenching my fists, but at the end of the day, I have to admit he is right. I fucked with India
’
s feelings and her good nature for a brief moment of satisfaction and a desire for payback. In the process, not only have I lost the trust of my best mate, Jacob.

India is never going to trust me again, not after what happened between us. I
’
m trying to believe that maybe I can fix this, but reality is crushing me down. I have no idea how I
’
m going to explain myself, but I have one and only one shot. If I screw it up, then that
’
s it. I
’
ll lose her forever.

Correction mate: you have already lost her.

I push my arrogant side away, knowing that I can
’
t be perceived anymore by others as this immature guy with a short temper. It
’
s time to change, to face reality.

My classes don
’
t start until nine, so I throw some clothes on and try to eat breakfast. We have rugby training this afternoon and Sam is going to be there. He is probably pissed that he lost the bet. He can go to hell with the cash. India means more than five hundred fucking pounds.

Jacob isn
’
t downstairs and when I think about food, my stomach churns uncomfortably. I
’
m nervous because I
’
m going to see her. I have to show her that I
’
ve made the biggest mistake of my life and that I love her.

It takes me about twenty minutes to get to campus and on my way, everyone keeps turning their heads towards me. They normally look at me because they are curious. Most of them just want to know who this guy is that everyone is talking about, the guy that sleeps around with most girls on campus. From now on I don
’
t want to be him. Other birds don
’
t mean anything to me. It
’
s only her; it
’
s always been her.

Whispers, snickers and a few awkward stares multiply when I walk into the class. All the girls are staring at me with disgust, turning their heads in the opposite direction. Only MacKenzie grins at me on my way to the last row of desks. Jacob sits in the far corner, so I slide next to him. Things between us are strained and tense, but we
’
re still talking. Oldie Thomas, our tutor, is setting up the computer, trying to figure out which wire goes where. I bet I
’
ve got at least five minutes with Jacob before he gets on with the lecture.
 

“
Man, you
’
ve got to help me. I
’
ve screwed up, but I need to talk to her. Anger overwhelmed me and I freaked out,
”
I say, looking at him.

He frowns, which isn
’
t a good sign. Jacob is a straight-up guy. You
’
re either on his team or not, and currently he wants to squash me like an insect.