All Good Deeds (16 page)

He meant women. I flashed cold at the realization. It was my turn to stare, and as I gaped at the man I’d spent so many years feeling alternatively guilty and hateful toward, I realized I could be looking in a mirror. I didn’t know if Justin’s mother was the one who physically hurt him, but she’d done a nasty number on his mind. Maybe his mother had ignored his pain the same way my own had neglected my sister.

A bone-numbing sadness seeped through my body.

He had mommy issues
. Just like me. Just like my dead sister
.

I stepped back. Felt wetness on my cheeks. Justin watched in silence, but as we stood face to face, truly seeing each other for the first time, confusion stole my breath.

More to the story, he’d said. Things I didn’t understand.

“Make me understand. Why did you hurt your friend?”

“You won’t believe me if I told you.”

“Give me a chance. Please.” I fought for control, trying to remind myself of the other people in the room. “I swear on my sister’s grave, I’m being completely honest with you. I have always felt I failed you. I blame myself, and so if you took Kailey, that’s on me. It makes me personally invested, and I need to know why you lashed out. I always thought I misread signs. That your problems in school were worse than I realized. That your parents had downplayed your temper tantrums. But there was never any indication you would hurt someone else! Why did you do it? Please tell me why. What I missed, what I could have done.”

“Nothing.” Justin had gone pale. “I remember you, you know. From when I was a kid. Your hair was longer then, and you smelled like cherries. Made me think of the girl in
The Outsiders
. I liked the way you talked. Your voice was soft. Concerned. Like you actually gave a damn. I never said thanks.”

“I did care.” I couldn’t stop my voice from cracking or more tears from stinging my eyes. “I still do.”

“You should stop.” He rubbed his eyes and then reached to pick up the pencil pieces. “What happened wasn’t your fault, and I absolve you of any guilt. Things were over for me the day I was born.” He stood and headed into another area labeled “Staff Only.” I knew if I followed I’d lose any progress I might have made with him.

“By the way,” he called over his shoulder, “I like the black rims on your car. Makes it look like some kind of covert vehicle.”

My reeling mind screeched to a halt.
Black rims
.

Chris Hale.

I didn’t remember
driving home. I probably ran lights and would have a ticket in the mail. For all I knew, I could have outrun a cop. An offense that would only add to the list of things Todd would eventually nail me with. At least he didn’t have murder. Yet.

Mousecop greeted me with his usual “feed-me-now” yowl. Too preoccupied for our standard snuggle, I shuffled to the kitchen and topped off his bowl.

Flipping off the lights, I kicked off my shoes and dropped my bag. I headed straight for the refrigerator and grabbed the last bottle of Stella. Then my acid medication from the counter.

Taking a long pull of the sweet beer and ignoring the instant fire in my gut, I sank into my favorite shabby recliner beneath the large dormer window and stared out into the bright lights of the city. Uncertainty bottled up my train of thoughts.

So Justin and I have a common thread.
Who doesn’t have mother issues?
But what had he meant when he said ‘things were over the day he was born?’ Had his father been the abuser? Is that why Todd refused to discuss it? And what about Justin’s mother? Todd hated her, but that wasn’t uncommon with stepparents.

Justin’s mother was probably an emotional manipulator like my own. She could have enabled the abuse. Maybe Justin blamed her and rightly so if that were the case.
Still didn’t justify his actions.

But Justin hadn’t tried to. In fact, he’d given me the distinct impression I was missing a much bigger piece of the puzzle than I realized. Which brought me to the true burning question: why the hell was Chris following Justin? And why didn’t he tell me? He’d told me his real identity, that his father was one of Pennsylvania’s most notorious killers, and yet he’d kept this from me.

What was his interest in Justin, and more importantly, in me? He’d just popped into my life out of nowhere, talking crazy about being a sociopath and a killer garbage man.

Right before Kailey disappeared.

And Chris had been in the neighborhood the night before. Justin had reported the black car to his brother.

My blood turned to thick slush, slowing until my head ached.

What if he’d conned Kailey by saying her mother was hurt? Jenna Richardson was a nurse, and Chris was a paramedic, an authority figure to a child. Chris could have said her mom sent him to pick up Kailey.

I took another drink of the beer. Swallowing it felt like choking on a wooden block.

Chris knew about my past with Justin before I’d even told him. What if he’d just been playing me this entire time, keeping me busy with Justin while he had Kailey?

But why? I’m not law enforcement, and if Chris hadn’t introduced himself to me, I wouldn’t have even known he existed.

The sociopath’s suit.

It’s a sick game. Plus he gets to be part of the case, watching us all chase our tails.

I sat the bottle on the windowsill and buried my head against my knees, blocking out the world.
Maybe I’m overthinking
. Justin was still the more logical suspect.

Except there was no physical evidence. And right now, I had as much reason to suspect Chris as anyone.

Chris could have been telling me all along exactly what he was. Or I could just be making crazy shit up to feel like I was doing something. Either way, I’d known there was more to Chris’s motives in seeking me out. Tomorrow, I’d see if Kelly could find out about his shift the day Kailey disappeared. Have her dig into social media and newspapers. And while Kelly did her thing, I would channel my own mother and see if I could manipulate the truth from Chris.

I left a message for Todd, letting him know I thought Chris was the one following his brother and why, and that he might be a suspect in Kailey’s disappearance. I’m sure he’d call me back and chew me out for talking to Justin, but I didn’t care.

Now I had a plan. Tomorrow I would take control and execute it.

A bitter laugh escaped at the irony of the word and echoed around the silence of the apartment.

I went to bed.

“B
rought you some
scones and coffee from the place around the corner.” I sat the box of goodies down on Kelly’s crowded kitchen bar top. Her little studio was blazing warm, and I’d bundled up against the morning gale. I peeled off my coat and scarf before my face started sweating.

“Thank you. I need to get to the store, but I keep putting it off. Living on ramen and water the past couple of days.”

Kelly bit into the scone and gave a little moan of bliss. “So good.”

“Do you have therapy this week?”

“Mmmhmm.” Kelly licked the sugar off her slender fingertips. “Monday. Can’t wait.”

“It’s good for you to get out.”

“Yeah, yeah. So what’s this epiphany you had? You sounded pretty stressed when you woke me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”

“Sorry about that.” I played with the lid of my caramel macchiato. “I think we need to dig deeper into Chris Hale.”

“Why?”

I dug my fingernail into a tiny scratch on the countertop. “Because I think he’s the one who was following Justin.”

Her mouth barely moved. “I thought he was helping you.”

“So did I, but after I spoke with Justin yesterday, I realized Chris lied.”

Kelly’s eyes were wide. “You saw Justin yesterday?”

I nodded, trying not to let the memory of Justin’s misery cloud my judgment. “Chris’s fancy car gave him away.”

Kelly listened with wide-eyed interest at my theory of Chris’s possible involvement in Kailey’s abduction.

“Is there any way you could find out about his shift on the day she disappeared? He said he was going to work.”

“I can try, but that’s personal information. I can’t exactly hack into the city’s personnel database. Not without getting caught, that is.” Kelly twisted her scone wrapper into a rope-like, wrinkled mess. “I’ve got a couple of contacts at District Seven’s precinct. They might be able to find some stuff out for me. Todd’s downtown in District Six, right?”

“Smack in the middle, yeah. And I left him a message he’ll hopefully follow up on. But I can’t count on Todd keeping me in the loop after my sneaking around to talk to Justin.”

Kelly dumped the breakfast wrappings into the trash and started cleaning the counter. “You know, it’s funny this all comes up because I’ve been thinking about Justin all morning.”

“And?”

“I wonder if he’s actually telling the truth. Maybe he didn’t take Kailey.”

“I don’t know what to think,” I admitted. “He seemed so sincere yesterday, and I got the feeling there’s a lot more to his past than I imagined. But maybe that’s all the more reason to suspect him.”

“Why?”

“Whatever happened to him as a kid made him attack another child. You can’t undo that kind of damage.”

Kelly sat on the other bar stool, leaning close enough to me our knees touched. When Kelly laid her hand gently on my arm, I stared at her in amazement and didn’t dare move. Kelly rarely initiated touching, and she shied away from any kind of intimate moment.

“Listen,” she said. “I think I can safely say I’m your closest friend. I know you and the chemist have your occasional physical thing, but he doesn’t know the things I do. I understand what drives you to make certain choices. And I say this with as much compassion as I can muster: you’ve got to stop pigeon-holing kids like Justin.”

Calling me a coldhearted killer would have had less of an impact. I sucked in a hot breath, the macchiato still lingering on my tongue. “I…what?”

“Just because he was abused as a kid doesn’t mean he’ll be a monster. I was abused. But I don’t hurt people.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Not directly. But you’ve helped me hone in my targets since I started.”

Kelly shrugged. “So maybe I’m a hypocrite. But those aren’t innocent people. Those are men who hurt little kids and work our screwed up system so they can keep doing their filthy deeds. It’s different, and you know it.”

“So you’re saying I’m not being fair to Justin?”

“Maybe. I know sex offenders don’t change. But…his situation is different, Lucy. He was so young. Maybe the doctors got to him in time. Especially if there is more to his story.”

“Or maybe, because he acted out at such a young age, he’s more of a monster than we could imagine.” The words sounded futile–tiny hopes dangling from the edge of cliff.
Or maybe I’m the one hanging from the edge, clinging to some dirty root that refuses to budge.

“It’s possible. But it’s not the only possibility here. There’s Chris. And a couple of others too.”

“You’ve found more suspects?” I brightened at the idea. At least I’d have something to do instead of chase my tail.

“Possibly. Let me show you something.”

I followed her into the computer area, trying to reconcile Kelly’s words.

“Before I forget,” Kelly cracked her knuckles and sat down at the system. “Slimy Steve, the pig you were after when Chris first approached you? His I.P pinged in one of the sick sites last night. He’s trolling. Don’t know if you’re still paying attention to him with all this going on, but I want to pass it on.”

Of course he was. Probably never satiated. “Thanks. I’ll see if I can find the time to track him down again.”

Kelly logged onto her complicated-looking system. “I searched around various social media sites and found out you were right. Kailey does have an online profile, and I’d guess she’s using it at the babysitter’s.”

“Did you get into her accounts?”

“There’s a backdoor entrance for social media sites that only a select few in the hacking world know of,” Kelly said. “Kailey’s your typical kid. Looks like she mostly played games, but a couple of them have chat forums.”

“Who did she talk to?”

“A few people, but only two of them regularly. Both claim to be kids, and as far as I can tell, they are.” Kelly closed the window and swiveled to face me. “I called into my liaison at District Six. She’s the one who assigns me cases to consult on. Told her I’d heard about Kailey’s disappearance and wanted to know if I could help. We had the standard argument about the protocols of my coming into the station, and I reminded her that she makes exceptions for me because I’ve got major anxiety issues, but I’m so good she needs my help.”

I grinned. “It’s true.”

“They’ve seized the babysitter’s computer, and they’re aware of Kailey’s online stuff and checking the identities of everyone she talks to. She did let it slip they have another suspect.”

Interesting. Most kids were taken by someone they know, but a stranger was a definite possibility. Still, it was hard to imagine better suspects than Chris and Justin. “Who is he?”

“Couldn’t get a name. But he lives three houses down, has served time for exposing himself to a minor and soliciting, and is out on parole. Lucy, he fits the profile as well as Justin. And from what I could get, his alibi is shaky. They’re trying to get warrants for a full search.”

I catalogued the information. “So we’ve got four possible leads: Justin, Chris, Brian Harrison, and the cops’ suspect.”

“The cops’ suspect’s off limits to me,” Kelly said. “What about the Smiths?”

“I passed the lead to Todd, but I really don’t think they’re involved. Not after figuring out Chris is the one who’s been following Justin. Speaking of Harrison, do you have anything?”

“I got into the dead brother’s laptop.” Kelly looked disgusted. “You made the right call on him. His hard drive was loaded with naked kids, and his browser history went to a couple of really disturbing websites. I hacked his email after a few hours of trying and managed to find an email address for Brian.”

“What do you think?”

Kelly shrugged. “It’s the best we’ve got. If he likes pre-teen girls, there were several of those on the hard drive. I can embed a remote access program into one and email it to Harrison. All he’s got to do is click on the picture, and the program will be unleashed and installed in his system.”