All Hallow's Eve (18 page)

Agony as he had never before known
wrenched
his heart
,
and
William
found he
could do nothing but
take in
her
horrified expression as s
he
turn
ed
away
from him
, stopping just long enough to retrieve the canteen
.
He watched as she
r
a
n
toward the stream
—away from him
.

Sighing, h
e closed his eyes and
raked both hands through his hair.
What have I done?

~%~

Elizabeth rushed toward the str
eam and began to pace
.
She was always drawn to water whe
n unsettled—
the
sound usually calmed her
—
though
just now
she was so angry at
William
for taking advantage of her that
she
did not
believe
that walking along
side
an
ocean
would be helpful!

The scene played out again in her memory
as she trudged along the bank
, and Elizabeth realized that he had
not
taken advantage of her in any way, nor had he forced her to
do
anything.
She had been a willing participant
and had even initiated part—in truth,
all
—of what had happened.

What have I done?
He will think me a wanton woman and
never
want me for his wife
!

Elizabeth stopped in her tracks, startled by her thought.
Had her opinion of
this man
changed so drastically in such a short amount of time?
Could her grandmother have been right?
D
id she
know
him
well enough to make such a life-altering decision?

It was true that she had been attracted to him from the first moment she
had
laid eyes upon him
—
that
was something that she had never denied in her own mind, even when she
had
thought the worst
of
him.
Physical attraction was not the same as love. She understood this, but did he?

She had spent more time with him
in the past three days than most people did during an entire courtship and engagement combined
,
and
certainly more time alone
with him
!
They
just
might know
each other
better than most couples
did
when they took their vows.
They had many of the same interests and opinions, and those that they did not share would guarantee that they would never be bored in conversation with one another.
He was witty and made her laugh
more
often
than sh
e was willing to admit, though she could tell that he had noticed her hiding smiles more than once.
Even as
she stubbornly had insisted that she should walk to the meadow alone,
she knew that
having him with her made her feel safer than she had ever felt before.
She could not deny that, even w
hen she
was
not
required
to
spend time
with him
—
such
as wh
ilst
they ate their midday meal
—
she
constantly
f
ou
nd herself
unconsciously
drawn
to him.

W
hen she
had
a
w
a
ke
ned
after the
Sanun
,
she had felt
as if she belonged in his arms
,
and
judging by her dreams of late,
she had to admit
to herself that
she
longed for
that
feeling
again
.
And just now... yes, she
longed for
that
to be repeated as well
.

What happened
this morning
was
my
fault, not his.
I
practically thr
e
w
my
self at him
!

Elizabeth knew that he was expecting a match between them, but
why
had
he accept
ed
it as inevitable
?
Would it be a marriage of convenience for him—a highly placed gentleman from British society matched with a highly placed lady from
T
ribal society?
That
is not what she wanted
—
not at all
!
Especially
considering
the way
s
he
felt
whenever he was near
her
.

Alt
houg
h her grandmother had
voiced
her
opinion o
f
the reasons
William
had
said
what he did at the assembly
and had acted in such a
distant
manner in the past
, Elizabeth could not reconcile
her grandmother’s
words
with the man she had
known
before the
Sanun
.
The only mot
ive
that she could believe
for
the
changes in
the way he behaved
now
were ones that she could not accept
in her marriage partner.

She wanted to be respected by him, but she also
wished
to be considered beautiful by her husband.
She wanted
love
, and
al
though
William
looked upon her with an expression that was tender at times, the opinion that he had voiced at the assembly was very different from th
e one
she had imagined her future husband would feel toward her.

Yes,
she
thought while touching her fingers to her lips
,
I am
angry at
William
,
but
it
is
not for kissing
me!

She
would
not let her feelings interfere with her duties.

~%~

As the Bennets descended upon William, he engaged the stoic mask that he used in public
to hide his
current
emotional state. A
fter a minimal greeting,
he
busied himself with
gathering the
equipment
that the group would need
to use
during training.
Mr. Bennet followed to offer assistance.
“
Good day, Darcy!
Where is Lizzy?
”

“
She
went
toward the stream
,
”
William answered whilst
he continued
to
remov
e
the wasters from their hiding place.
W
hat more
would Elizabeth
wish
me to
say?
He
stopped and
turned toward
the older man.
“
I – I...
”

“
I am here, Papa,
”
Elizabeth called out from a few feet away as she walked towards them.
William
could not tear his eyes away from her,
tr
ying
to catch her gaze
,
but she refused to look in his direction.
“
I filled the canteen.
”

Mr. Bennet
’s eyes moved
back and forth between
William’s
remorse
-
filled
countenance
and Elizabeth’s anxious mien.
Wishing to have a few moments alone with Elizabeth, Mr. Bennet load
ed William’s
arms with wasters and told the young man that he would bring the remainder himself.
After
William
left
them
alone
, Mr. Bennet asked,
“
Is all well with you, Elizabeth?
You do not seem very comfortable with Darcy at the moment.
”

“
I was angry at Mr. Darcy, but it will be well, Papa.
”

Mr. Bennet examined his daughter closely before saying,
“
You are not being too hard on the boy, are you
,
Lizz
y?
Allow
him
to
apologize, please.
”

Elizabeth looked
away to hide her shock at her father’s words, and watched
William
cross
ing
the meadow
.
What ha
s
William said to him?
“
Apologize?
Why should you believe
that
necessary
?
”

“
I have
not often
seen
such a
level of
regret in a man’s expression
as
I saw in his just now
, as you approached
.
I cannot help but feel for
the man
.
”

She took some of the
weapons
from her father and whispered,
“
Yes, Papa,
”
before walking into the meadow
towards her sisters
.

Mr. Bennet murmured to himself,
“
Good luck, Darcy!
”

The missing members of the party entered the meadow just as Mr. Bennet reached the group.
“
Good morning, gentlemen!
Has
your family
begun
their
return
to London, Bingley?
”

“
They should be
on their way
by now, sir. When we left Netherfield, they were only waiting for Caroli
ne’s trunks to be loaded
.
We had made our farewells last evening
,
so I did not feel it necessary to see them off.
”

“
Good
,
”
Mr. Bennet said, and then
announced
to the group
,
“
We shall work
with
daggers this morning
,
and after an early luncheon, the ladies shall leave us to
receive
calls
from
the
neighbour
s
and
keep up appearances
.
In their absence, w
e gentlemen
will
work on
defence
without weapons.
”
Everyone stood awkwardly, waiting for further instructions
from the weapons master
.
Mr. Bennet raised both eyebrows and said,
“
Well, off
with
you!
Get to work.
”

Elizabeth bent down to retrieve two wooden practice daggers with blunt ends and began to walk away toward
the area
where she and William usually practiced.
William followed, having to take long strides to catch up with her.
“
Miss Elizabeth
?
Miss Elizabeth, please?
”