All I Want for Christmas Is You (19 page)

When she'd stood at the window and watched him drive away two nights ago, she fought to keep herself from running down the stairs after him. She'd been tempted to tell him she wanted him to stay, that it didn't matter how long. She wanted to tell him how she felt.

But that was just it. What was she feeling? For the first time in years she allowed herself to think about herself as a woman with real emotions and desires. She'd been both exhilarated and frightened by the exigent need she had when Kyle held her, kissed her until he took her breath away. She would have allowed him to take her to the pinnacle of that need if she hadn't been pulled back to reality by Kristen's call.

And now, was it too late? Had she pushed him away too far?

As his smile danced in his eyes, she knew it wasn't. And she knew he was feeling the same thing, but it wasn't the right time. At some point, she would find the right moment and tell him, show him exactly how much she loved him.

“We haven’t had so much as a moment to talk since I got here.”

Kyle bent his head and kissed her cheek. “I know. We have a lot to talk about. There’ll be some time tonight, after everyone’s gone.”

She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “We can pick up where we left off the other night,” she whispered.

She watched his eyes grow dark and smoky, fueling her with the satisfaction that he knew what she meant.

“You’re going to help me set up the dollhouse for Kristen, right?”

“You bet.” He glanced at the kitchen clock and said, “I've got to go change. The kids are asking when Santa will arrive." He brushed by her and paused a moment to cup her cheek. His hand was rough against her skin and sent a tingling sensation through her body. She leaned into his touch before her eyes caught sight of Judy coming into the kitchen again.

Suddenly self-conscious, she straightened. But as if he understood her hesitation, Kyle didn't seem to mind. He bent down, kissing her lightly on the lips and said, "I'll be right back."

When he closed the kitchen door behind him, Lauren took a deep breath and glanced at Judy. Her approval was evident in the slight tilt of her mouth, and the twinkle in her brown eyes, but she said nothing.

"I guess I should go round up the troops," Lauren finally said.

Judy's smile widened and she gave a quick nod. "Good idea. And I'll dole out the dessert."

With the help of little Scotty, Will brought in an antique rocking chair with detailed scrolls carved into the back and placed it at the end of the room by the Christmas tree. It didn't take more than five minutes to gather all the kids in the house and settle them on the floor of the family room. Chas and his wife, Kim, whom Lauren had met briefly earlier in the evening, sat together on the loveseat with their youngest daughter. From the size of her, Lauren guessed her to be about two or three years old. Their eldest daughter was about the same age as Kristen and Julie.

When the room was set and Judy had finished setting all the pastries out on the buffet table in the dining room, they all sat...and sat...and waited. Twenty minutes later, Santa Claus still had not arrived.

"Where is Kyle?" Judy whispered, so the children in the room wouldn't suspect.

"I know, he's been gone a long time." Lauren looked at the children sitting on the floor. They were fidgeting and beginning to get restless.

"I'll pass around the cookies. See if you can round up my so...ah, Santa," Judy said.

She nodded and weaved her way through the crowded room toward the kitchen. After pouring a glass of eggnog, she left the kitchen in search of Santa Claus. She did a walk through the downstairs of the house. There were small groupings of neighbors and friends talking in the formal living room, the dining room and the den, but Kyle was nowhere to be found.

As she rounded the corner toward the foyer, she met Kyle head on.

Or rather Santa Claus.

No wonder she hadn't recognize him in the parking lot the evening they met. The disguise was authentic, complete with lifelike white beard and hair. No one would recognize him beneath that red suit.

She held the glass of eggnog out to him. "You're late."

"You try stuffing yourself into this suit," he said, straightening his thick black belt. The disguise may have been convincing, but the voice was unmistakable, and lulling. She wondered what it would be like going to sleep each night having the deep sound of Kyle's voice be the last thing she heard before she fell asleep. And the first thing she heard in the morning when she woke up.

"You've got quite a crowd in there waiting for you."

He gripped the glass and took a long sip before handing the glass back. "I need my bag with the toys for the kids. Do you know where I left it?"

"In the kitchen. It's in the broom closet." She reached up and brushed his fake white beard with her fingers. "You dribbled."

"Thanks. Job hazard."

Zoey trudged through the foyer, dragging a pillow case filled with wrapped gifts. Lauren hadn't seen her all evening until now. Zoey tossed the bag to Kyle. "I'm not your little elf, Kyle," she grumbled.

"Hey, where's your holiday cheer?" he said as she climbed the stairs.

Zoey waved him off and kept going. Lauren hadn't recalled seeing Bruce hanging around either and wondered if his absence was the cause of her mood.

She turned to Kyle. "You ready?"

"As much as I'll ever be."

"You've got about twenty neighborhood kids sitting in the family room. If you don't get in there, there's going to be a kiddy revolt."

"Nah." He hoisted the bag of goodies on his shoulder and tested his ho ho's before weaving his way through the crowd of people now gathered in the family room. "Ho, ho, ho."

Although Lauren couldn't figure out how Judy managed it, all the kids were still seated on the floor and began to cheer when Kyle came into the room.

She watched as Kyle squeezed his stuffed body into the rocking chair. As he pulled the gifts from the pillowcase, he called out each child's name and they came up and sat on his lap.

After waiting so long, it took no more than fifteen minutes until everyone was done opening their gifts. "It's your turn, Mommy," Kristen said, tugging Lauren by the arm toward Kyle.

Kyle opened his arms wide. She could see a hint of mischief playing in his eyes beneath the white fluff he'd pasted to his eyebrows. Heat filled her cheeks as she looked around the room at the smiling faces of people she'd just met, urging her to sit on Santa's lap.

She hesitated a moment, feeling like she was a mannequin on display in a store window.

Kyle leaned forward in the rocker and pulled her to him, taking the decision out of her hands. She settled into his lap and felt her whole being melt.

"Did you cook this up with Kristen?" she asked, gazing in the depth of his blue eyes. A rumble of laughter bubbled up from his throat. "You're bad," she whispered in his ear, wrapping her arms around his neck, breathing in the scent of his aftershave.

He laughed seductively and darted his furry eyebrows up. "Do you want to find out how bad I can be?"

Oh, yes, she did. More than anything, she wanted to find out all she could about this man.

He cleared his throat and ho ho'd in a low rumble. But when he spoke to her, it was pure Kyle. "So, Lauren, tell me what you want for Christmas."

It may have been her imagination, but the noise in the room seemed to fade and she felt all eyes on her. But she never tore her gaze from Kyle. Beneath all the decoration and disguise, she saw the most incredible man she'd ever known. It was if all the fear of the past seven years, the shell of mistrust, melted like ice, leaving her able to see for the first time. And what she saw was the love of one hell of a man.

How could she think she could deny him?

Or herself?

She now knew he was the only thing she wanted. And she was totally and completely in love with Kyle Preston.

"Kyle...I-" she whispered, but she was cut off by Judy's voice calling her.

"I hate to interrupt, Lauren." She looked over at Judy, who was standing at the other end of the room holding the cordless phone in her hand. "You have a phone call."

Now who could that be? Lauren thought. No one but Mrs. Hopkins knew that she was planning to be here, and she hadn't given out the telephone number.

She looked at Kyle, his smile filled her with warmth.

"Go ahead," he urged gently.

"What is this?"

"It's going to be a great Christmas."

She cocked her head to one side and said, "Kyle, what'd you do?"

"Go ahead. I'll be waiting."

She eased off his lap and nervously brushed her hands down the skirt of her dress as she walked through the crowd, making her way toward the kitchen.

Judy handed her the phone. "The house is full of people, so there's not much in the way of privacy. But you might find a quiet corner upstairs," she made a sweeping gesture with her hand, "or here in the kitchen since everyone seems to have a full belly."

"Thank you." When Judy left the room, she turned away from the noisy family room and said, "Hello?"

For a few seconds, Lauren didn't hear any response. "Is anyone there?"

She was just about to hang up when she heard, "Hi, honey."

Emotion gripped her at the sound of her father's voice.

"Daddy? How did you..." She turned and saw Kyle standing in the family room talking to Chas. Of course, it had to be Kyle. How else would her parents have known to call her here?

"Honey, I'm..." She heard her father's voice crack. She tried to choke back her tears, but she just couldn't keep her emotions at bay. It was the first time in seven years hearing her father’s voice. He cleared his throat. “I thought it was about time I called.”

After all this time, she didn't know what to say. She filled her lungs with air before attempting to speak. "I’m...really glad you did. Did you get the picture of Kristen?"

His voice suddenly sounded lighthearted. "She's beautiful. She looks just like you."

"Yeah."

They were silent for a few agonizing moments. Like with her mother, Lauren feared the awkwardness that plagued them would win out.

“Ah...how on earth did Kyle track you down?”

“Kyle. Yes, he seems like a...persistent fellow.”

She chuckled as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Well, he has that way about him.”

"He said I should be proud of you, that you're a wonderful mother.”

She swallowed hard. “I’ve really missed you, Daddy."

There was silence before he answered again. “Listen, honey, about what happened.”

"No, Daddy. Let's not talk about that. It was a long time ago. Please, let's just start over." She didn't want to dredge up the past. It was better to leave all the bad feelings where they were and start anew.

"But you need to know that I never thought it would be like this. I never meant to make you feel we didn't care. It’s just...somewhere along the way I’d forgotten how to reach out to you."

Hot tears streamed down her face. "I’ve always been here, Daddy."

She heard his muffled sobs. After a few seconds, her mother got on the line.

"Lauren?"

"Yeah, Mom, it's me." She held her hand to her mouth.

"Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

She sniffed and wiped her moist cheeks. “It could be. Mom, it’s been so long. I have some time off of work next week and...I’d like to see you and Daddy...if it’s okay."

“Next week?”

Lauren held her breath. “Yeah.”

“I was hoping it could be sooner. That is if you don't mind. Kyle invited us to have Christmas dinner with you there."