All I Want (20 page)

News

“I can’t believe your family doesn’t know we’re engaged,” Carly said the Saturday before Christmas. They were leaving on Monday, Christmas was Wednesday, and they were going to stay until Friday, weather pending. Right now, a snowstorm was being called for Friday, so they might end up leaving on Thursday.

“I want to see how long it takes for my mother to notice it when we show up on Monday. My bet is less than two minutes. And then less than five minutes after, she’ll be on the phone calling everyone.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Nope, I’m not. I know my mother, and she is going to be looking at your hand the minute we walk in the door. Keep your gloves on longer than normal,” he said, teasing her.

“That’s not nice,” she scolded him.

“It’s not, but it’s funny. Seriously, take your time pulling your gloves off and try to hide your hand as long as you can, and I still bet it’s within seconds.”

“That’s cruel. I’ll think about it, though,” she said, smiling at him and looking down at her ring again, like she’d been doing every minute of every day since he’d given it to her.

Once she stopped crying and laughing and jumping up and down when he’d given it to her, she’d said, “I have to tell Brynn. I need to call her.” But he suggested they go for a visit and tell them in person, which was even better.

Brynn had been so excited and so happy for her. Alec even gave her a kiss on the lips and welcomed her to the family saying, “There, now we’re even.” He turned to Sean. “You kissed Brynn on the lips, now I’m kissing Carly.”

“You never told me you kissed Brynn,” she’d said, turning and accusing him, but she wasn’t serious.

“I kissed her because she’d just sold Alec’s flip for more than he’d ever sold one for.”

“Always looking for the bottom line is our Sean,” Alec had said. “We thought for sure he was going to break out in his Irish happy dance.”

“What’s this Irish happy dance I keep hearing about?” she’d questioned him.

“I’m never going to live that down, and you’re never going to see it,” he told her firmly.

Alec explained, “Sean had too much to drink one year at our company party. Next thing we knew someone requested an old Irish song to be played as a joke and Sean got on the dance floor and started shuffling his feet for about two minutes, until he realized what he was doing and everyone was staring at him.”

“You didn’t?” she’d said, shocked. “I want to see it.”

“No way, not happening. I’d never drunk more than I could handle before and don’t know what I was thinking that night. I don’t even know why I did that, so trust me, it won’t be happening. That dance is being shoved into my closet and into hiding and no one is going to be able to open the door.”

She’d laughed at his description, but still felt the chills in her spine, reminding her she needed to talk to him more than ever about her about childhood and her father. After the holidays though. She just wanted to relax and enjoy this time with his family and their first Christmas together.

After they’d left Alec’s, they’d driven by Phil’s house and Carly got to visit with Sophia and the baby while she shared the good news with them, too. She realized that Alec and Phil were like family to Sean and he wanted them to know as much as she wanted Brynn to.

When they were finished visiting, they’d gone home and tumbled into bed together. She couldn’t get his clothes off fast enough. Never really the aggressor, not since that first night they’d had together, she wanted to take charge.

She was just filled with so much giddiness she was ready to burst.

Faster than she thought possible, she shed his clothes, flinging them all over his room. She didn’t even let him undress her—no, she knew she could do it faster and she did. Wiggling and twisting, turning, tugging and yanking, she was as naked as he was and joining him on the bed where she’d ordered him.

“Lie on your back.”

He did, just like she said. “Hold the headboard above you right now.”

“Why?” he asked, but still did as she said.

“Because I’m going to make you beg and you aren’t allowed to touch me while I do it.” Where those words or that boldness came from, she was still wondering, but it was liberating. Just like it felt the last time, the first time they were together, when she’d given him orders.

Starting at his neck, she kissed and licked everywhere she could, moving down his chest, nibbling and biting a bit more than before, even leaving some marks. Not that he seemed to mind; actually he was urging her on, to keep doing what she was.

So she did, all around his chest, over his waist, to his hips and below, eying another target. One she couldn’t wait to get her hands on, or her mouth.

She glanced up and saw him holding his breath, waiting to see what her next move would be, so she didn’t want to disappoint him. Lowering her head, her tongue came out, just enough to tease the length of him. More than enough to have his hips rising and meeting her there, and a low growl coming from his lips.

His reaction pushed her on. Gave her courage to continue to a place she’d never explored before, never wanted to before, but she liked being in control right now. It was a powerful feeling, one she realized she wanted to feel more of.

Taking him all the way in her mouth, she went to work, brought him to the point where he was begging her, just like she hoped—then she sent him soaring.

“No, no. No touching yet. It’s still my turn.”

He grinned at her. “Do your worst to me; I can handle it.”

So she did. She grabbed a condom, placed it over him, slowly teasing him like he had her so many times in the past. Then she got on her knees, hovered over him and slid right down, nice and steady.

“You’re killing me, Carly.”

“That’s what I want to do.”

“Then don’t stop what you’re doing,” he encouraged her.

So she didn’t. She moved up and down and all around him, urging her own body to its peak. She was struggling to get there and she could see he was struggling to hold on. “Touch me, please, Sean. Just touch me like you always do.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

Releasing his hands, he put them to work knowing exactly what she liked and what always brought her there. He wasted no time sending her up and then letting her fly. Letting her take the lead and pace them the way she wanted.

Leaning forward, she braced herself on her hands, covered his mouth with hers and let her body take over. All of her was touching him right now, chest to chest, waist to waist, hips to hips and lips together. All moving in sync with each other like a choreographed dance that only the two of them knew the moves to.

What was so rushed was now slow and steady, loving and sweet, and her heart melted as her body finally reached the highest peak of the mountain. Then she and Sean jumped off the edge, flying together.

***

Carly finished packing the rest of her clothes for the trip. She’d just gotten back from talking to her mother and wishing them a happy holiday, promising to call them when she got to Boston and again on Christmas morning.

She and Sean had had dinner with them together earlier in the day. Thankfully her mother and grandmother were much better with Sean now.

When she first told them about the engagement, her grandmother had been thrilled, her mother not so much. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Carly? You haven’t known him long.”

“I’ve known him long enough. I’m sure, Mom,” she’d said and tried not show her annoyance. She was getting tired of always walking on eggshells with her mother. For once she was happy, her dreams were coming true, and yet her mother still didn’t seem to be happy for her.

As always, her grandmother came to her defense. “Trisha, be happy for the girl. It’s all she has ever wanted and you know it. Sean’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve your attitude toward him.”

“I don’t have an attitude toward him,” Trisha argued with her mother. “And I never said he wasn’t a good guy, or a nice guy. I just mentioned that she hasn’t known him very long.”

“He isn’t Joe. He is nothing like Joe and you know that, so stop comparing or judging,” her grandmother told her mother, eying her critically.

“I’m not comparing,” Trisha insisted. That had been the first time Carly’s grandmother had ever mentioned her father’s name and she wasn’t sure what it was about. No one ever really talked about Carly’s father, not since she could remember.

“What is there to compare?” Carly asked, wanting to know. She wasn’t about to tell her mother and grandmother that her father had been trying to contact her for the last few years. She’d never replied to his emails. They’d started showing up out the blue and she ignored them.

Somehow her father had gotten ahold of her email that she had on the business card that she handed out when volunteering. After that first email, which was him more or less introducing himself to her, she deleted the rest without opening them. She didn’t want to know what he had to say.

Her memories of him were more than enough for her to forget he existed, or at least put him out of her mind. She’d moved on and lived her life without him in it, and lived a damn good life. She didn’t want him back.

She was an adult now. She wasn’t hiding and she wasn’t running. He couldn’t hurt her, but she wasn’t about to let anyone know that he was trying to reach her either. Her mother didn’t need anything to send her spiraling down into the world they’d all fought so hard to get her out of.

“Nothing,” Trisha said in a rush.

“Then why did you say it?”

“Stop beating around the bush and answer your daughter, Trisha.” When her mother didn’t speak, her grandmother explained. “Your mother had only known Joe for a few months too, before he swept her off her feet. But your mother refuses to admit there were signs of control that Joe had from day one, nothing like Sean.”

It was the first Carly had ever heard this and she wanted to know more, but she could see that her mother was getting distressed and let it drop. She’d try to talk to her grandmother another time, when her mother wasn’t around. Instead she said, “I know you’re trying to protect me, Mom, but I’d rather you just be happy for me.”

“I am. I know it’s what you always wanted, so for that alone, you have my blessing. Not that you need it. You can make your own choices in life.”

“Yes, I can, and I have for many years, but it’s nice that I have your blessing too.”

Her mother had smiled then, a sincere smile and asked, “How did everyone react at school when they saw the ring?”

Carly lifted her eyebrows. “It took two days before someone noticed it.”

“You mean you didn’t show it off? It’s stunning. I would have been showing it to everyone I came across,” her grandmother said, beaming with pride over the ring Sean had picked out for her.

“No one really knew I was dating anyone.”

“You always were private about your personal life. But still, I would have thought you couldn’t wait to share the news,” her mother said.

“I did have a picture of Sean on my desk. I’d put it there the week before. It was a picture of him and me at his parents’ pub on Thanksgiving.” It was her favorite picture. Neither of them looking at the camera, just Sean’s hand on her jaw, looking into her eyes, smiling that charming smile of his, and her looking back. From a mile away she could see the happiness and love on her face in that picture. Sean hadn’t seen the picture yet. She hadn’t shown him and was waiting to surprise him with it.

“Anyway,” Carly continued on when her mother kept looking at her expectantly, “Brenda came in to ask a question and she noticed it when I reached into my desk. She was the first person to notice the picture of Sean and me the week before, too.”

“How fast did the news travel?” her grandmother asked.

“Extremely fast. By lunchtime everyone had come forward to see the ring. I was the talk of the school last week, and for once it didn’t have anything to do with my work performance.”

“Felt good, didn’t it?” her grandmother asked.

“You know what? It did.” It felt great not being looked at like the prim and proper Ms. Springfield. She was now being looked at with a bit of jealousy. She had this great fiancé—a great-looking fiancé—who was a wonderful person, who loved her and who had great taste in jewelry. Not that she was materialistic, because she wasn’t, but she couldn’t help but smile and think of his heart that he handed over to her every time her eyes met with her ring.

Welcome To The Family

Sean hadn’t been exaggerating when he predicted his mother would notice the ring in less than two minutes. Just for fun, Carly did take her time removing her gloves.

First she’d taken off her jacket and hung it up, then slowly pulled each finger out of her right glove, then her left, ring facing down. She wasn’t watching what she was doing; instead she was watching Claire, who was indeed watching Carly’s hands.

She heard Sean snort next to her and, just for the heck of it, quickly turned and placed her gloves in her jacket, trying to hide her smirk.

She didn’t even get turned back around before Claire was grabbing her hand and shouting. She couldn’t even figure out how Claire noticed it as Carly was purposely trying to keep it out of view.

“I knew it! I told your sisters after Thanksgiving to be expecting this,” she said to Sean, pulling him forward and scolding him to bend down so she could kiss his cheek.

He laughed. “Did you now?”

“I did. Melissa won the bet,” Claire said, slightly pouting, then smiling again, tears forming in her eyes. “I should have known she would. You didn’t tell her, did you?”

“What bet?” he asked, looking baffled. He better not have told anyone, Carly thought, because he had insisted they keep it a secret. She’d be annoyed if he showed favoritism and told one sister. “And no, no one in the family knows.”

Tisking with her tongue, Claire turned to Carly, pulled her forward and wrapped her chubby arms around her, engulfing her. At first Carly thought she was going to be suffocated, but then realized it actually felt just about right. “Anna bet Sean was going to propose on Christmas morning. Kristy said Christmas Eve, and Melissa said you would never do it in front of everyone, that you would be more private about it.”

“Melissa was right,” Carly explained. “It was just Sean and I, and it was wonderfully romantic.” She didn’t care they were both on the floor looking for the ring he’d dropped. It was romantically funny after she thought about it.

“My boy does have good taste. Look at that thing.” Claire turned to Sean. “Your brothers-in-law are going to hate you.”

“Why?”

“Because your sisters aren’t going to be able to stop talking about how Carly could knock one of the kids’ eyes out with that rock.”

Carly giggled over that assessment and shouldn’t have been surprised that Claire was so blunt about it either. “Sean gave me his heart,” she said holding the ring up and looking at it softly, then running a fingertip over it. “We know how big of a heart he has, so I guess it makes sense.”

Claire had stepped back from the hug to make a comment to Sean, but just now she pulled her forward again, kissed her cheek and said, “Welcome to the family.” Then she pushed Carly back quickly, almost clumsily and said, “Excuse me, I’ve got to call the girls.”

Carly looked at her watch, less than five minutes, Sean was right again.

“That was really sweet what you said to my mother.”

“What’s that?”

“That I have a big heart.”

She placed her arms around his waist, tipped her head and whispered, “It’s so true. Even if you gave me a tiny little chip of a diamond, I’d still think the same thing. And I’d still say it to everyone.”

“But you’re happy I didn’t give you a little chip, aren’t you?” he asked, grinning.

She knew he was joking, but she wasn’t and wanted him to know. “Sean, you didn’t even have to give me a diamond at all. Your love, that’s all I want.”

He dropped his forehead to hers, closed his eyes, then opened them back up. “
You’re
all I want.”

***

Not surprising, Carly and Sean went to dinner at the pub that night. Patrick had to work until eight and he wanted to see them. Claire had stayed at home and said she had some wrapping and baking left to do still. So Sean and she showed up for an early dinner around four, hoping to have time to talk to Patrick before the dinner rush showed up.

He’d already known about the engagement. Not that Claire called to tell him, because she hadn’t, but Anna worked at the pub part time and she’d been there when Claire made the first call to her oldest daughter.

The minute Carly and Sean walked in the door, Patrick made his way from behind the bar and rushed forward, shaking Sean’s hand and bringing him in for a hug. It was so nice to see a father not afraid to show his emotions to his children.

Carly had noticed that on the last visit. Not just with Patrick, but also Sean’s brothers-in-law were always hugging, kissing, tossing a kid in the air, or plopping them on his lap. Not just their own kids either, but their nieces and nephews.

No one was afraid to show that side of themselves in the Callahan clan. As much as Sean joked about being labeled as sensitive, it seemed most of the men in his family had that trait, even if they tried to hide it.

When Patrick was done with Sean, he reached over, hugged her tight, kissed her cheek and said, “I knew if you made it through Thanksgiving, you weren’t going anywhere.”

It was such a sweet, yet sincere statement. “What can I say? I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.”

“Sassy. She needs that to keep up in this family. Good for you, Carly,” Patrick said, praising her.

It felt right to her to be praised by Sean’s father. She’d never felt praise from a man before in her life. Well, that wasn’t true—she’d felt it from Sean, but other than him, no one else.

She didn’t need it; she was good on her own. She really never got much of it from her mother, and she understood why. Her mother had all she could do to manage her own life. Carly spent more time praising her mother on her accomplishments and her strength to pull it together, that she never expected to get it in return.

Her grandmother was the one that praised Carly the most, but still not often. Big events—graduations, her first job teaching and when she won the award earlier this year—never the little things. She always knew her mother and grandmother were proud of her, but they didn’t voice it, and she didn’t need them to; knowing was enough for her.

But hearing it now, she’d never realized how much it would warm her, the pleasure it would bring her. It was a nice feeling, a really nice feeling, one of belonging.

“Your parents must be so happy. I bet your father can’t wait to walk you down the aisle. Proudest days of my life, handing over my girls to their husbands.”

“That’s because you knew they were finally out of the house and bossing someone else around,” Sean had said after he eyed her. She knew he saw her hesitate on what to say to Patrick’s statement.

“So true, and you know it,” Patrick confirmed. “Still, I bet your father can’t wait,” he said again, addressing Carly.

She cleared her throat and put a forced smile on her face. “I haven’t seen my father in over twenty years, but my mother is thrilled, and so is my grandmother. They’re all I’ve ever needed.” And she meant it. Truly.

She didn’t have the most normal of childhoods. She didn’t have the white picket fence lifestyle that she always secretly wanted, or the doting mother and father, but she was loved and she knew it. It wasn’t said often, but she felt it and that was all that mattered.

Deep down she knew what she just said to Patrick was true: her mother and grandmother were thrilled for her.

“Then that’s his loss, isn’t it?” Patrick jumped in to say.

“Absolutely,” she said back strongly, meaning it more than ever before, more than she’d ever meant anything before. She was strong on her own and always had been.

“Come on back and grab a few seats at the bar. Anna will be out soon. I won’t even have to tell her. She’ll sense you’re here and will want to get a look at the rock on your hand.”

Carly thought that was funny since she hadn’t noticed Patrick even looking at the ring. Then again, she should have known by now that Sean’s parents didn’t miss a thing.

Once seated at the bar, Patrick filled a pint of dark beer for Sean and grabbed her a glass of white wine, the same as she drank last time. That he remembered shouldn’t have surprised her, but she was touched he did. Placing the glass in front of her, he asked, “Did you make those pretzels again for me?”

He had the same charming smile and crinkle to his hazel eyes that Sean had. She couldn’t help but love that she was falling for his whole family, even as crazy and loud as they were. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t make them this time.”

His crestfallen face was hysterical, but he recovered fast. “That’s okay. Claire has been baking cookies for days. I’ll get to steal a few of them when she isn’t looking.”

“Don’t eat too many of them,” she said, and saw Sean chuckle into his glass.

“I won’t.” He pouted slightly, then eyed Sean. “Just what I need, another woman watching what I eat.”

“Now you know how I feel,” Sean said, complaining.

“You only have to deal with it a handful of times, and they give you
more
food. They take half of mine away.”

“I don’t think Carly was telling you not to eat too much for the reason you think,” Sean said slyly.

“Really? Then why?” he asked, perking up a bit. “In a minute,” he said to someone at the bar who raised his hand for another beer.

“Don’t you need to wait on him?”

“He’s a regular; he doesn’t mind,” Patrick said, but Carly watched as he filled another pint of beer.

She pulled her pocketbook up and set it on the bar, then pulled out a small white box, and slid it toward him. “Our little secret. Hide it where no one can see it before the rest of it comes out.”

Patrick slid the beer down to his customer without looking, and quickly snatched the box off the bar and opened it up greedily. He closed his eyes and inhaled softly. “Fudge. You made homemade fudge, and you brought me my own box to hide. Sean, if you weren’t already engaged to her, I’d be breathing down your neck to know why.” He grabbed a small sample of the peanut butter fudge, took a bite and exhaled out slowly. “This is the best I’ve ever had.”

“I told you he loves fudge,” Sean said, looking at her. She’d wanted to know what his father’s favorite treat was. He’d been so nice and kind to her on the last visit and she wanted to do something special just for him. She’d never done anything special for a father figure before in her life, never even wanted to, but for some reason she had the strongest urge to for Patrick. Maybe as a silent thank-you for how Sean turned out. “She made it just for you, Dad.”

“You did?” Patrick asked, and Carly could see his eyes misting over. Wasn’t that just the sweetest thing? This big burly man serving beer to his customers and getting all teary-eyed that she thought to make him fudge.

“I did. Sean told me chocolate and peanut butter were your favorites, so that is your little secret stash. But I also made maple walnut and vanilla peppermint.”

Before Patrick could reply, Anna was swinging open the door from the kitchen. “Dad, why didn’t you tell me they were here?” and she was rushing forward and grabbing Carly’s hand before anything else. “Let me see that ring.”

After she hugged Carly, congratulated her and swatted Sean on the shoulder for keeping it a secret, she gave him a hug too. “What did you just put behind the bar, Dad?” she asked.

“What are you talking about?” he questioned her, then eyed Carly, hoping she would cover for him.

Carly didn’t have a chance to think of a reply before Anna was walking behind the bar and reaching underneath, where Patrick had hidden the box. “What’s this?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. Opening the top, she frowned, looked at her father, ready to scold, then to Carly’s surprised face, she asked, “Where’s mine? I won’t tell if you give me my own box, too.”

Carly laughed. She couldn’t help it—at that moment she honestly felt part of the family.