All In (13 page)

“Harlow, I want to listen to what you have to say, just… give me time, please?” My heart was aching in my chest at my words, Harlow standing there with tears in her eyes broke me in two. I think I just died.

“Take care, Vice.” she frowned, turning to walk away.

“Okay, let’s keep it moving, boys!” she clapped loudly, then reached out for my mom with a smile on her face. She wrapped her arm around my mom’s shoulders, they followed the delivery guys inside. Watching the two woman I love the most smile, made my heart race. I think I just died twice in one minute.

After standing there staring at the now empty sidewalk where my mother and Harlow were standing, I walked the rest of the way to Dice’s Auto Body in a daze. How could I have gone from such a low to such a high. My shit storm was quickly moving out with a new system of party cloudy with a slight chance of sunshine moving in.

As I placed my hand on the door to Dice’s shop, I had gotten a text message. I read Harlow on the screen, making me smile.

I hope you enjoy your gift xoxo

My gift? I walked through the door, staring at the screen not quite understanding.

“Vice!” Dice came from the shop area when he heard the door ding open.

I looked up from my phone to see him smiling excitedly, in his ripped up motor greased jeans, and t-shirt. His black hair sleeked back, grease on his face. “Sup, Dice?” We met in a hand shake.

“Not a lot, been working hard, day and night on your cars of course,” his hands on his hips.

“My cars?” I only had the Camaro towed in here and the Mercedes sent to the junk yard.

“Yeah, they were beat up as fuck. What the hell happened to em’?” he asked, leading me out to the shop.

“Chase Miller happened,” I seethed, dropping my phone back into my jeans pocket.

“I hear he is a real piece of work, that cat,” he laughed.

“You have no idea,” I sighed.

“Well, I just finished them this morning,” he gestured his hand to another door to one of his garages. “After you, my friend,”

I walked in not really expecting what I had seen. My Camaro looked exactly the way it did before Miller laid his hands on it. I walked by, running my fingers across the new glossy black paint.

“Fucking beautiful,” I mumbled.

“I hope the Mercedes is alright? Your girlfriend said to sick it out and gave me a few ideas,”

“My girlfriend?” I whispered to myself. Harlow Jean.

I stepped around the Camaro taking in a glossy, cherry red 2013 Mercedes with black limo tinted windows and rims.

“Holy shit, Dice!” I smiled, opening the drivers side door. Inside he had replaced the leather to black with red stripes down the seat and as I leaned in closer, I noticed against the head rests were leather images of birds. The same birds that were on my chest. On the drivers side was a red bird with a rose in it’s beak, and on the passenger seat was a baby blue bird with a lily. I sniffed not realizing that I had started to cry. No one, and I am serious when I say that no one has ever made me cry… no one except Harlow Jean.

“Did I do good?” he laughed at my reaction.

I didn’t answer him, I immediately dug my phone out of my pocket and immediately text Harlow back.

A beautiful person once told me that there was nothing better in this world than being free as a bird. Harlow... let’s be free from our past, together. Love you. Can I come see you later?

“She must be pretty amazing,” Dice smiled from the doorway.

“Ah, my God. You have no idea,” I wiped my eyes following Dice through the door.

“How much do I owe for both cars?” I took my check book out of my back pocket.

“Nothing, dude. Your girlfriend paid me up front when she brought the Mercedes in,” he shrugged handing me both sets of keys. “You’re covered. Which one are you going to take first?”

I shook my head then smiled. “The bird, of course,” I nodded, he tossed me the keys. That is exactly what that car reminds me of. Harlow is freeing to my soul, and that is exactly what the birds represent for both of us. As long as I have this car, I will have a piece of Harlow with me, always.

“I’ll have Brian pull it around back,”

“I’ll be back for my Camaro in a few days,” I hollered from the door.

I ran around to the back of the shop, taking in the Mercedes. It was even that much more luxurious in the sunlight. This car was sick as fuck. I hadn’t noticed that the license plate said ‘freed’. I shook my head and smiled.

Harlow

We were on our way back to the trailer to spend our last two days before we officially moved into our apartment. Our beds were scheduled to be delivered the day after tomorrow, but it was okay, we were in no rush as Brenda and me were enjoying each others company and having a good time regardless of where we were.

I kept thinking about Vice and how sad his eyes were. He had lost some weight and he looked incredibly tired. I have called and text him over and over again hoping that one of the times that I called he would answer and tell me how much he loved and missed me and that he didn't care about Chase being my brother anymore. But to no avail, it went straight to voice mail.

Ding...

I pulled my cell from my purse and saw Vice had text me. I was instantly nervous as I read the text.

A beautiful person once told me that there was nothing better in this world than being free as a bird. Harlow... let's be free from our past, together. Love you. Can I come see you later?

My smile faded quickly as my nervousness was instantly replaced with the sudden urge like I was going to throw up. I quickly pulled my new 1952 pink Lincoln Capri to the side of the road becoming violently ill.

“Harlow Jean, are you okay, honey?” Brenda had gotten out of the car and rushed to my side rubbing my back as I heaved and heaved my lunch into the dry desert weeds.

I stood up when I was sure I was finished, nodding as I took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think so. I don't know where that came from,” I looked at Brenda who had a smirk on her face. I didn't really find my throwing up a happy thing. “It came out of nowhere. Let's just get home,”

I pulled back onto the road. My thoughts on Vice's text message.

“Would you mind stopping at the store down the street here before we head home? I need to get some cigarettes, and a few other things,” she smiled.

“Oh, sure. No problem,” I smiled back at her.

A mile down the road I pulled into the grocery stores parking lot, parking as close to the front doors for Brenda as I could.

“Are you coming in?” she leaned in the window and asked when she noticed I wasn't getting out.

“No... Vice text me, he wants to talk!” Brenda and I both shrilled.

“I told you he would come around,” she winked. “I'll be right back,”

Eight at your mom's old place...

I quickly text and within a second he replied.

That's four hours away... you're killing me, Harlow.

I smiled. Impatient, aren't we?

I just miss you, beautiful. I love your haircut, the pink is sexy.

I laughed. Thank you, handsome.

You're welcome. I can't wait to see you later. See you at... seven. I love you, Harlow Jean.

I laughed aloud with my head back. Okay, okay... you win. Seven it is. I love you, too.

I set my phone back in my purse when Brenda opened the car door. She hopped inside and we headed home.

When we got inside, she grabbed her cigarettes from her purse. She had the grocery bag in her hand still and looked at me. “Would you come outside and talk to me for a minute?”

“Absolutely,” I smiled, following her out the door and onto the wooden deck out front. “What's up?” We sat in the white plastic chairs. “Is everything okay, Brenda?”

“Of course,” she smiled, lighting her cigarette. “Would you mind if I asked you a personal question?”

“Not at all,” I placed my hand on hers letting her know that I was comfortable.

“When was the last time you had sex with my son?” she blatantly threw the question out there.

“Oh, um...” I thought about it for a minute. “About three weeks ago,” I had no idea where this question was headed.

“Did you guys use protection?” she took a drag of her cigarette, staring at me with this grocery bag still sitting on her lap.

“No,” I shook my head.

“Here,” she smiled. “You need to go take that, Harlow Jean,” she placed the bag on my lap.

I opened it up to see the words 'Early Pregnancy Test' on the package. I started to panic. “Um... uh. I'm not pregnant. I can't be,” I shook my head, placing the bag back on her lap.

She started to laugh, placing it back in my hands. “Your belly and your up chucking reflexes beg to differ, sweetheart. It's okay, go take it and I will be right here,”

“What about Vice, Brenda?” I ran my hands down my face.

“He may not think I paid enough attention to know him, but I know my son. I can guarantee you that he will be by your side no matter what the outcome of this test is. He loves you,” she smiled.

I nodded. She was right, Vice would be understanding, and now that I think about it, I am almost a week late. Oh, my God. “I'll be right back,”

“Harlow?”

“Yeah, Brenda?” I turned around.

“No matter what the outcome is, I am here for you, honey,” she smiled.

I nodded, opening the door and headed to the bathroom. I stepped in and locked the door. I took the package out of the bag and stared at the pink letters. 'Early Pregnancy test'.

“Oh, no...” I groaned. I wasn't on birth control as I wasn't sexually active for four years. It was the moment I was in with Vice that the condom didn't matter.

I quickly unwrapped the stick I pulled from the box and I took a seat on the toilet. I peed on it and sat it on the counter. I didn't want to look at the results yet, I was scared. I looked at the box instead.

“Two lines, positive. One line, negative.” Okay, easy enough. I threw the box under the counter and stood above the test with my eyes closed.

“One...two...three,” I opened my eyes and looked down. The two pink lines were screaming out at me.

“It's faulty... it's faulty,” I mumbled, quickly taking the box out from under the sink and oddly enough I was able to pee again on the second test. I watched that one, two pink lines appeared immediately. I was instantly shaking, and started to cry, dropping the test on the floor.

I took a few minutes to collect myself, grabbing the two tests and ran out of the bathroom and out to the porch to find Vice was sitting in one of the white plastic chairs next to his mom. He looked up at me with a smile.

“Hey,” he said calmly.

“Hi,” I waved.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I haven't even had the time to process this giant news, let alone enough to be able to tell Vice yet.

“It's okay, Harlow. I told him what you were doing in the bathroom when he demanded I tell him where you were when he went inside and didn't see you,” she reached with her foot and nudged him on the knee. “He freaked out on me,”

“You-” I looked at Vice who was patiently sitting there with a compassionate and understanding smile on his face making me relax a little, then down at the two positive pregnancy tests in my hand. “You told him about the...” I held them up.

“You getting sick, and the test... yes, honey,” she looked at my hand holding the sticks. “And guessing by both in your hand, the first one was positive so out of shock you took the second one which is...”

I looked at Vice, he was still staring at me. “Positive,” I held my hand out to Brenda, who took the tests from my hands as I started to cry. “I'm pregnant,”

“I would say you are! Those are blindingly pink lines, Harlow Jean,” Brenda was not helping.

“Oh, babe,” Vice instantly was out of his chair, his arms wrapped around me tightly as I cried. “I love you,” he whispered in my ear kissing me all over my face.

“I'm going to be a grandma,” Brenda sang walking into the house with the tests. “Grandma, grandma...” If I wasn't in such shock, I would probably laugh.

“I am so sorry,” I sobbed against his chest. “I shouldn't have lied and I shouldn't have made you not wear a condom, Vice. I. Am. So. Sorry,”

“No, no... hey,” he picked my chin up with his finger making me look at him. “Harlow Jean... do not apologize. I was just as into not wearing one,”

“But you told me that you didn't have one on and I-”

“It doesn't matter what you said, all that matters is that I love you, and I want to have this baby with you. To be honest, I'm happy. I am happy you're pregnant, babe,” he squeezed me tighter.

“Really?” I wiped the tears from my eyes. “I thought you would be upset with me for lying and now this,”

“I'm over what happened, okay? I don't even care what the reasons were for lying to me. When I saw you today, I had completely forgotten why I was so upset. All I wanted to do was hold you, tell you how much I have missed you. I have been extremely stubborn making us both unnecessarily miserable over all of this and I am sorry for being such an asshole, I was just hurt. Will you forgive me?”

I nodded. “Of course I do, Vice,”

“Free from our past, together?” he stared into my eyes, his filling with tears as he placed his hand on my belly.

“Free from our past, together,” I placed my hand on his, then playfully smacked him on the arm. “And you're early, you said seven,”

“I said seven to appease you, beautiful,” he tapped the tip of my nose. “Like I would wait three or four hours after almost three weeks of not having you? Fuck that!” he laughed aloud.

“I'm going to be a grandma, a grandma...” Brenda came dancing out of the trailer with her pack of cigarettes.

“Hello, Brenda!”

I looked toward the driveway at a horribly smitten Bob walking up in his white t-shirt and black sweat pants. He was smiling and waving at Brenda.

“Hey, Bob,” she waved back with a smile.

“Who is that?” Vice whispered in my ear, staring at Bob making his way to the porch.

“That, is Bob,” I giggled.

“Oh, shoosh, Harlow Jean,” Brenda whispered.

“Mom, do you have a boyfriend?” Vice gaped, watching his mother blush.

“Not yet, now you two get on out of here. Leave me and Bob alone,” she walked past us and down the wooden steps to greet him.