All New Letters From a Nut (7 page)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201 USA

Prime Minister Valdis Dombrovskis
Brivibas Boulevard 36,
Riga, LV-1520
Latvia

12/11//2009

Dear MR. Prime Minister Valdis Dombrovskis of Latvia.

Just a note to you to say what a great job you do for our world as Prime Minister of Latvia, my birthplace and home for me during April in the forest). It is outstanding the work you do and should be noted.

I admire and what you have done for ALL Peoples. Not just for members of our Latvian Club. We meet on Wednesdays; Jaseps Ludvigs is our President. You are well regarded at our meetings as we discuss all things Latvian including the food. (I like bacon buns – Piragi!) Who doesn’t like Sautéed Sauerkraut?

One of our club members was a laboratory assistant with you at Mainz University. He currently makes keys. Another club member said you both had an interest in physics and took pictures together. He showed us one. He has a hat on with a feather in it. If you like you could be the head of our walnut club. Consider it. Post will be open until 3/12/2010. Then Bendiks Mikelis will probably get it or maybe Kristaps Ludis. It is a small peaceful world.

Thank you for you reply. Keep up the good work.

PLEASE SEND ME A PICTURE. I will show it to my Latvian club. (then put it away)

With utter respect,

F.D. Nancy

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COMMUNICATION DEPARTMENT

36 Brīvības Blvd., Rīga, LV-1520, Latvia, Phone: + 371 67082828, Fax: + 371 67284450
E-mail:
[email protected]
,
www.mk.gov.lv

Rīga

No.88/N-62

Januar 11, 2010

F.D.Nancy
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd# 193
Glendale
CA 91201
USA

Dear
Mr. Nancy
,

Thank you for your letter. The State Chancellery of the Republic of Latvia appreciates and values people of foreign countries showing interest about Latvia. It is also nice that you are informed about the members of our Government and especially about Valdis Dombrovskis, Prime Minister of the Republic of Latvia.

Prime Minister of the Republic of Latvia Valdis Dombrovskis, born on August 5, 1971, has become the youngest head of the Latvian Government. In his career, V. Dombrovskis has been a Member of the 8th
Saeima
(Parliament) of the Republic of Latvia, the Minister for Finance, and in July 2004, as a representative of the “New Era” Party, was elected to the European Parliament.

The Prime Minister V. Dombrovskis had earned a Master’s degree in Physics and from 1997 till 1998 studied in the doctoral programme at the Department of Electrical Engineering of the University of Maryland.

Please, find enclosed a photo of the Prime Minister with his autograph.

You can find out more about our Government in the Internet home page of the Cabinet of Ministers. Its address is:
www.mk.gov.lv/en
.

We wish you good luck!

Sincerely,

Aivis Freidenfelds

Press secretary of the Cabinet of Ministers

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560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 USA

CUSTOMER SATISFACTION DEPT.
VONS SUPERMARKETS
P.O. Box 3338
Los Angeles, CA 90051

Dear Vons Supermarkets,

I am writing to you with a problem I am having with your VONS DIET BLACK CHERRY SODA. It is the first time I have ever tried this brand. I believe this soda is sending me telekinetic messages. It is bad. The can communicates with me. I spilled some soda on my kitchen floor. There was a face in the spill. It winked at me. What is that about, Vons?

Your Diet Root Beer is fine, no weird activity. I believe this black cherry soda is trying to communicate with me. From the grave. It is evil, Vons. It has a face on it. Is that possible? I enjoy your Diet Cola.

I have had problems before with a haunted sponge from Ralphs. I locked it up in my basement with 1,000 nails. but it got out and stayed by my bed. It looked at me. Although to date I have not had any further experiences with paranormal cleaning equipment.

I am scared, Vons. What can i do? Do you sell Mop and Glo?

Respectfully,

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Ted L. Nancy
560 N. Moorpark Rd., #216
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Dear Mr. Nancy:

Thank you for writing to us regarding Vons Select diet Black Cherry Soda. We take great pride in our products, and we appreciate knowing when there is a problem.

As you know, Vons guarantees the products it sells because we believe our store brands are as good or better than the national brands and want our customers to know that they can get a refund or replacement if they are not satisfied.

Thank you for shopping with us. I am enclosing a gift certificate to reimburse you for the product what was not satisfactory.

Sincerely,

Dotti Baker

Consumer Affairs Representative

DWB:dvm

Enc.

cc: W. Kovac

The Vons Companies, Inc. • P.O. Box 3338, Los Angeles CA 90051–1338 618 Michillinda Avenue, Arcadia, CA 91007–6300 • Telephone: (818) 821–7000