All Played Out (Rusk University #3) (31 page)

“You’re killing me, you know that?”

“What?”

“That you want to—that you’re so fucking eager . . .”

He hisses out a breath when I hook my fingers under his waistband. I take a cue from him and pull his sweats and underwear down in one movement, and his erection springs free, thick and long and dark.

I start with touching him, matching the strength and speed he’d taught me that one time in the shower.

“Ah,” he breathes, tilting his hips up toward me.

“Tell me what to do.”

He wets his lips and takes a ragged breath before instructing, “Lick the tip.”

I do as he says, and I can’t even put into words how gratifying his groan is. He directs me through the first couple of movements, telling me where he’s sensitive, where to pay special attention, but by the time I take him into my mouth, he’s barely getting out one-word replies.

For someone who struggles with thinking too much during sex, this is the perfect way to connect for me. When I can focus on him, on his reactions, I’m free to analyze and catalog my observations, and repeat the moves that get the best reaction. It’s a challenge, and even though I don’t know what I’m doing, I take pleasure in learning.

And it makes me feel like we’re in this together. Like I’m essential, rather than just a convenient replacement. It’s the final thing I need to push the thoughts of his ex out of my head, because it’s my name he says between groans. It’s my cheek he touches, soft and sweet, and at odds with the raw act we’re in the middle of.

“Ah, God. Nell . . . God, it’s not right that you’re so good at this already. Stop. I don’t want to come like this. Not tonight.”

He guides my head, pulling me away and pushing me back against his bed so he can climb over me. While I settle into the pillows, he reaches into the drawer of his nightstand for a condom.

I watch him put it on, no less fascinated this time than I was the last despite how much better I now know that part of him. He pushes my legs wide and lowers himself onto me. He doesn’t enter me, not yet. He just presses his hips into mine and leans down close.

He strokes his thumb over my bottom lip and says, “Fucking made for me.”

I lift my hips up into his, and just when he’s shifted and is about to push inside, there come three loud knocks on the door.

I panic. “Did you lock the door?” His head drops down to my collarbone, and he groans. “You didn’t lock the door. Are you serious?”

Hey says, “I didn’t want you to feel like I was trying to trap you in here.”

I laugh then, even through my panic. “You caveman-dragged me in here, kicked everyone out, pinned me to the wall a few times, but you didn’t want me to feel trapped.”

He’s about to reply when the knock comes again. “Guys? It’s Stella.”

I cover my mouth so I don’t laugh, and Mateo smothers a curse against my breast.

“I’m not coming in, so don’t worry.”

“Thank God,” he growls.

Stella continues: “Sorry for this weirdness. I just wanted to tell Nell that I’m leaving, and I’m officially passing off the last item on the list into your apparently very capable hands, Torres.”

“Bye, Stella,” I call out, my voice breathier than I would like. “Thank you for today!”

When we don’t hear anything for several long seconds, we assume she’s gone, and Mateo climbs off the bed to lock the door. I blush when he walks back toward me, and I can see all of his naked form on display.

He vaults up onto the bed, practically leaping on top of me. He hovers over me on all fours, before leaning down to brush his lips against mine.

“What is this about my very capable hands?”

Oh God, so much blushing.

“You’re the one who made me add ‘best orgasm of my life’ to the list. It’s your fault really.”

“You told her about that?”

“Not specifics, no. She just asked if it was true.”

“And you said yes?”

I lift my arms around him, laying my forearms along his shoulders. I inch up to press a kiss to the middle of his chest. “Best of my life.”

“And the last item on the list?”

I grin. “Pull an all-nighter. It’s all I’ve got left. Think you could help me with that?”

He lowers his hard body down on mine, and with excruciating slowness begins to push inside me. “Will that be a first for you? This all-nighter.”

I bite my lips against a moan, still entirely too conscious of the people just outside the door. “It is.”

He leans down and kisses me, his lips soft as he seats himself all the way inside me. I rock up into him, and swallow his groan.

“I want it. That first. All of them. As many all-nighters as you’ll give me.”

Then he kisses me, and I love him.

I love him.

I love him
.

Epilogue

Mateo

T
he semester ends quicker than either of us wants it to. Classes end first, then exams, then it’s graduation day.

Watching Nell graduate is a strange sensation. I’m happy for her. Fucking impressed with how much she’s accomplished already. Terrified of what comes next. But we’re making plans.

Nell likes to do that, and I’m just glad that I get to be a part of hers.

I’ve got her for one more semester for sure. She’ll be busy with her job as a research assistant, but not quite as busy as she’d been with all her classes and assignments. And since it’ll be the off-season for football, there will be less pressure for me, too.

We’re both doing Christmas with our families, but I’ve got the bowl game (the first for Rusk in over a decade) a few days after that. Then we’re holing up together somewhere and not coming out until New Year’s.

It’s not perfect. Nell still sometimes stresses about the future, but she’s excited about her research job. She hasn’t mentioned any doubts lately, and I think she’s finally settling into the idea of her future.

I like to think I had something to do with that. Because I know she helps calm me. There are things we don’t know, things we can’t know, about my career and hers, but I believe we can make it work.

She and I, we were
made
to work.

Nell’s To-Do List

(With help from Mateo)

 
-Turn in grad school applications.

 
-Find grad schools close to Rusk.

 
-Graduate.

 
-Celebrate with Mateo.

 
-Celebrate A LOT with Mateo.

 
-Book travel for the Rusk bowl game.

-When they win, celebrate with friends.

^^^ But mostly with Mateo.

-Give Mateo his Christmas present.

^^^ I like the sound of this. I hope I get to unwrap several things.

-Get your Christmas present from Mateo.

^^^ This sounds interesting.

^^^ Oh, it is. VERY interesting.

^^^ P.S. I love you.

^^^ P.P.S. You’re a fucking genius.

Acknowledgments

I
thought this would get easier as I wrote more books. But this is the ninth time I’ve had to find the words to express all my gratitude, and it is still so difficult to do justice to the joy and appreciation I feel.

I would never get a single book finished without the support of my family. It feels like a miracle every time I finish one, but really it’s you guys that are the miracle. I am blessed to have you. To love you. To be loved by you.

I’ve been so honored the last few years to work with some truly amazing professionals in this business. Amanda, Jessie, Molly, Pam, and all the other amazing people at Harper who help get my books into the hands of readers—thank you. Suzie, Kathleen, and all the other New Leaf Ninjas—I adore you all. Thanks for being on my team. KP Simmon—I am so glad to have you in my life. And my career.

Lindsay—you were the hero of this book. You loved it when I was struggling. You gave me confidence (as you always seem to do). You get me, and there will never be a thank-you big enough for that (or all the hundreds of other things you do for me).

Bethany . . . I adore you. (But no . . . I’m still not naming every character Bethany. Not gonna happen).