All That I Leave Behind (52 page)

There was a parallel drawn between Michelle and Rosie throughout – both of them left home, both of them ‘married’ a man unsuited for them and the life they wanted to lead, both of them tried to change/hide their true selves to fit into a different kind of life. Did you think about their similarities as you wrote the book?

Not consciously, but I’m very interested in how children repeat the patterns of their parents in many ways. As a parent myself, I see that! Often, I think we’re not aware that we are doing the same things as our parents did – creating the same marriage, family patterns, etc. I don’t want to be overly deterministic about it, because I think people can create something new for themselves – Rosie could have repeated Michelle’s mistakes, but she was aware of that and steered a new path for herself. She became aware, when she was pregnant, that she was about to repeat the past, in not inviting Mark to be a father, and that awareness helped her to change.

What gave you the idea for the book?

A few things came together at a particular time. First, Michelle’s voice came out one day, when I was on holiday, and I wrote the prologue to the book, but it seemed to be detached for a while from any kind of story. I couldn’t work out who she was or how she’d connect to something greater. And then I read Mary Lawson’s
Crow Lake
, which is a wonderful novel about family life, and felt a frisson of excitement – here was the story I was trying to tell, albeit differently. And then, I happened to take a walk with my husband along the canal in Co. Kildare, because he likes to fish it, and something about that still, silent landscape really appealed to me. It took me a little while longer to locate Mary-Pat, Pius, Rosie and June, but eventually, it all came together. Writing a novel is a bit like unravelling a knot of twine or solving a puzzle – it’s about pulling clarity out of what initially seems to be a muddle, distilling it until eventually, clarity emerges.

How do you make time for writing?

Well, I do read about other writers who spend entire days writing, but that’s actually never been part of my life, because I have a ‘day job’ as an editor and a family. Writing, for me, was and still is an oasis carved out of a busy day, two hours of peace and quiet, bedroom door shut, earplugs in, trying to ignore the punch-up in the boys’ bedroom. My children feel the urge to communicate with me once the door is shut! I’ve always written like that – it’s my time and I try to make the most of it. I also find that as long as I commit to that regularly – six days a week in general, that it works for me. Although I did read about a successful author who spends twenty minutes a day writing and felt a slight twinge of envy …

When did you start writing?

Writing is in the family, so to speak. My great-grandfather, Maurice Walsh, was a writer, and very popular in his day, and when I was a child, I’d often be asked if I was going to be a writer like him! An impossible question to answer when you’re nine. However, it’s true that I always did love reading and writing. I’d always written bits and pieces: stories about gymnastics when I was in primary school, adventure yarns, an essay on the Crusades (about which I knew nothing) in secondary school, but I never thought writing was for me – I think it was a confidence thing, really. I’d read huge amounts, particularly in college, but never thought I could actually write. Instead, I went into publishing and worked as an editor. And then I found myself at a loose end during my first pregnancy and went to a creative writing class in London, where I then lived. And I wrote something which just seemed to emerge onto the page from some part of me I didn’t know existed – and that’s where I realised that I might have a voice somewhere. It took me another ten years or so, and three children, to fully tune into that, but it’s all part of the process.

Thanks to my family: to Colm, for everything, not least for listening to me moan for two years, and to Eoin, Niamh and Cian for constant interruptions/entertainment. I thank my agent, Marianne Gunn O’Connor, for her persistence and support and many hours of chat, Pat Lynch and also Vicki Satlow for her reading and feedback; to my editor, Ciara Doorley at Hachette Books Ireland, sincere thanks for her enthusiasm and guidance, and to Joanna Smyth, Breda Purdue, Jim Binchy, Ciara Considine, Ruth Shern, Siobhan Tierney and Bernard Hoban. A note of thanks also goes to Emma Dunne for her helpful suggestions, particularly with the timeline and to Aonghus Meaney for his excellent proofreading. Finally, I thank Mary Behan for her help when most needed.