All That Is Lost Between Us (24 page)

‘What's going on, Mum?'

Either side of us, the woods are hushed and the trees are statues.

‘Zac,' I say eventually, ‘I have absolutely no idea.'

G
eorgia had come to Bethany's house with a secret to tell, but in the hours since she arrived she hasn't found the right time. Instead, they have snuggled under the covers in Bethany's giant bed, drinking cans of Diet Coke and watching old episodes of
Vampire Diaries
, with Bethany chattering away all the while.

It's the best Georgia has felt all day. Being somewhere different has allowed her worries to recede. She doesn't want to move.

When the credits roll round again, Bethany turns to her. ‘You wanna carry on vegging or do something different? We could go out somewhere?'

Georgia hesitates. ‘I think I'd rather stay here. Is that okay?'

‘Of course.'

‘You're so lucky that your parents have their own lives and don't crowd you.'

Bethany studies her. ‘There's good and bad to living in an empty house,' she replies. ‘But it must be crazy in your family today.' She turns away and when she swings round again she is cracking open another drink. ‘Want one?' She holds out a can.

‘No, it's okay.' Georgia sets it aside. She has drunk so much already she feels sick. ‘You're right about home – everyone's on edge until we know Sophia's okay.'

‘When will you go to see her?'

Georgia spreads her nails and pretends to examine them, even though they are uneven and paint-free. ‘I don't know yet.' She pauses. ‘Maybe I should have gone already, but I'm not sure I can face seeing her like that.'

Bethany reaches out and pats her leg. ‘I know how you feel. It's pretty scary seeing people you love in hospital. My grandma had a brain tumour a few years ago and when they took us to see her I didn't recognise her. Her face was all patchy purple and brown like a rotting vegetable – sorry, but there's no nicer way to put it. It was Gran, but it wasn't Gran either – do you know what I mean? Gran was the woman who baked a yummy pie and told dirty jokes, not a sedated sack of bones in a bed. Affected me a lot, that did.'

They are both silent for a time, absorbed in their own thoughts. Georgia stares at the flickering menu screen on the television. She takes a big breath. This is her chance. ‘Something happened over the summer . . .' she begins.

As Bethany turns to her, the doorbell chimes. Georgia jumps. To her dismay, Bethany gets up. ‘Hang on, I'll just see if I can shoo them away,' she says, leaving the room.

Soon she can hear voices, and two sets of footsteps are heading up the stairs. Bethany enters the room again, grinning, and winks at Georgia.

‘I told him we were trying to have a one-on-one, but he wouldn't go away.'

Danny stands awkwardly at the door. ‘When Bethany said you were here, I just wanted to check you were all right, after what happened at school.'

‘I'm okay,' she replies, ‘what about you?'

He shrugs. ‘I think I am – to be honest it all seems a bit surreal.'

Bethany looks between them. ‘What happened at school?'

‘Georgia collapsed during sport.'

‘What?! Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay?'

‘I'm fine.' Georgia doesn't feel fine at all, tears are pricking her eyes. ‘I didn't collapse. I just – I'm not sure what happened, but I'm all right now.'

‘So, are you still planning on racing tomorrow?' Danny asks.

If one more person asks this question she is going to scream. ‘Are
you
?' she snaps.

They stare at one other. ‘Ok-ay,' Bethany says. ‘Perhaps you two need the one-on-one. I'll be back in a minute.'

As soon as she's gone, Danny comes and sits on the bed. ‘I'm sorry, of course you're going to run. I know how hard you've been training – and now you're close to the sponsorship deal. You're so determined – it's pretty awesome to watch.'

Georgia had been ready for an argument, but his kindness knocks the fight from her. She searches his eyes, trying to see anything that might indicate he isn't genuine. He holds her gaze, steadfast and serious. The longer she looks, it's like he's breaking her down, forcing her into this connection with him. Her strength is all on the outside today, inside she is weak. His will is stronger than hers, and when he leans over she knows what is going to happen. While she lets him get closer and closer she is screaming at herself to stop. More confusion is the last thing she needs right now. She doesn't want or deserve this moment.

And yet, when his lips touch hers, the doubt disappears. Rather than push him away, as she had imagined she would, she puts one hand on the short hair at the back of his neck and pulls him towards her. She moves her mouth against his, lets his tongue find hers. He shuffles closer without breaking the kiss and wraps his arms around her. For once, she allows herself to forget about everything but this, even when she thinks she hears the door open and close again. She is going to stay put for as long as she can.

When they finally come up for air, Danny has a big silly grin on his face. But once the seal of their mouths has been broken, there's a space for all Georgia's fears and doubts to rush back in. Although she smiles at him, it is a mask concealing her terror. She can't go down this road again.

Before she can say anything, he speaks.

‘Georgia, I've been wanting to do that for ages.'

She sits still, mute, and he must read something amiss in her reaction because he grows serious. ‘Look, I know you're having a tough time right now, and I'm not going to pester you . . . but when you're ready, can we spend some time together? Nothing too heavy – just get to know each other?'

She doesn't trust herself to speak, but she nods. She wants to be excited, but she knows that there is no future with Danny unless she tells him the truth, and that's not going to happen right now. Not in Bethany's bedroom, with their friend hovering outside the door. In spite of herself, her eyes begin to fill with tears, and she turns away from him and swipes angrily at her face.

‘Sorry, there's just been so much to deal with today.'

‘It's okay, Georgia, I've been thinking about Sophia heaps, so I can't imagine what you're going through. She's your best friend. You must be gutted.' He pauses. ‘I think you're amazing for running tomorrow. Why don't we pace each other a bit in the first section of the race – what do you reckon?'

She imagines them alongside one another, their footsteps pounding the same rhythm, and it calms her. ‘That sounds good.'

‘Ahem,' says a voice from outside the room. ‘Is it safe to come in?' Bethany pokes her head around the door. She is holding more drinks and carrying packets of crisps under her chin. ‘I thought you guys might need an energy kick if you're going to pash each other like that.'

Georgia is embarrassed but Danny just laughs, then grabs one of the packets and bursts it open. ‘Look,' he says, ‘I'll get going and leave you to it. I know I'm interrupting. I can catch you another time, yeah?' He smiles at Bethany this time, and Georgia feels the first twinges of jealousy as Danny gets up and swings his bag over his shoulder. ‘I can let myself out,' he says. ‘I brought my bike – it's a bit too soon for me to walk down Vicarage Road again.'

Once they hear the front door close, Bethany sits down with a bounce on the bed. ‘You okay?'

‘I think so.'

‘Danny's a good guy.' Bethany is shovelling crisps into her mouth by the handful. ‘I know some of his friends are dicks, but he won't hurt you, Georgia. I should warn you, though, his taste in movies and music is shocking. And he takes all my money playing cards.'

Any jealousy that was brewing in Georgia is once again quashed by Bethany's easy nature. But she doesn't get to relax for long. ‘So,' Bethany continues, ‘you seemed like you were going to tell me something juicy. You know, Sophia's been worried about you for ages. Says you don't want to hang out with her any more, that you only want to go running.'

They have been talking about her. Georgia imagines them speculating behind her back, but there's too much concern in Bethany's voice for her to take offence. However, before she can reply, the doorbell rings again.

‘For god's sake, he must have forgotten something.' Bethany hauls herself up. A short time later there are two sets of footsteps coming back towards the room again, but to Georgia's surprise it's her father who appears, with Bethany behind him.

‘You weren't picking up your mobile.' She scans his voice for irritation, but he just sounds worried.

‘I didn't hear it ring.' Georgia pulls her phone from her pocket to check it. ‘Oh, sorry, the battery died. I didn't realise.'

‘It's okay. But you won't have seen anyone's messages then? Sophia's awake.'

‘Oh my god, that's fantastic!' Bethany cries, breaking into a big smile and bouncing across to give Georgia a hug. When she pulls away, Georgia is crying.

Her dad comes over and puts a soothing hand on her shoulder. ‘It's okay, love. It's really good news. She's still pretty groggy tonight, but hopefully she'll be a lot better tomorrow. Now, I've just finished a stint at the rescue centre, so I thought I'd come and give you a lift home. Your mum'll be getting worried. She's not happy I let you come here in the first place.'

Georgia thinks of home, her mother waiting there for her.
I don't ask her to worry all the time
. A wave of claustrophobia carries her energy away. She makes no move to get up.

Her dad frowns. ‘Georgia, come on, love. Have a proper sleep in your own bed and you'll feel good as new tomorrow. It's nearly nine. If you're planning on running, you want to be rested for the race, don't you?' He reads the look on her face with unnerving accuracy. ‘I know you think your mum will pressure you not to run. Tell you what, I promise I'll help keep her at bay for the next twenty-four hours, until after the race. Deal?'

Reluctantly, Georgia nods. She gets up and collects her coat. ‘Maybe see you tomorrow?' she says to Bethany.

‘Sure,' Bethany agrees. ‘I'll try to get up in time to cheer you and Danny on.'

As Bethany sees them both out, a car pulls up on the drive and Bethany's mother waves before heading inside. Georgia tries to imagine what it would be like if her own mother never got home until after dark. She feels giddy at the thought of so much freedom.

She had been so close to confessing to Bethany. She thought it might have helped her to focus if she could have unburdened herself before the race. Now there's no longer any choice – it will all have to wait.

For the second time today, the doubts come creeping back. Should she be running at all? She shakes her head to clear them. She wants the sponsorship so badly – she's dreamed of travelling the country next year with the Addison's logo on her chest. It's time to dispel these disquieting thoughts once and for all. Although her arm is sore, she's physically as fit as she was two days ago, and running has always cleared her head. What had Danny said?
I think you're amazing for running tomorrow.
And that's exactly what she needs to be for the race: amazing. Because everyone will be watching.

She feels the adrenalin kick in. She imagines herself crossing the finish line a champion, all the congratulations and celebrations. There is only one person she wants to share that with, only one person who can help her analyse it all later.

‘Dad,' she says as they get into the car. ‘If Sophia's up to it, can we go and see her after the race?'

‘I'm sure we can, honey. I'll drive you over there.'

‘Thank you.' She leans back in her seat and tries to relax. Only twenty-four hours and all these plans will be memories. Sophia is awake. Georgia is glad now that she didn't confide in Bethany, because she can't wait to talk to her cousin. Sophia is her best friend, after all.

Z
ac sits on the sofa, absentmindedly tearing at his nails. In front of him, his mother paces repeatedly across to the window and away again. Each time he catches sight of her frightened expression he feels winded. He's close enough to look out across the darkened garden, but he keeps his eyes averted. He has watched too many horror films; he can envisage a face appearing without warning at close quarters, distorted and menacing. He wishes they could just close the curtains, but he doesn't dare move.

‘Should we phone the police?' he suggests hesitantly.

She stops, puts her hands on her hips, regarding him sternly. ‘Why didn't you stay at Cooper's?'

He is surprised at the censure. ‘You dropped the phone mid-conversation, Mum. I heard you talking to someone. You sounded scared. What did you think I would do? I needed to know you were okay.'

He had raced back from Cooper's in a panic that sent his bike into intermittent wobbles. He had imagined his mother passed out on the floor, injured or worse. He had been so relieved to find she was all right. This implication of wrongdoing seems entirely unfair.

He sees her soften. She comes towards him and hugs him. ‘I'm sorry. I shouldn't be giving you a hard time. I just had a fright. I was so glad you weren't here when I got home and found that woman waiting – I was so relieved you were safe.'

‘So, who
was
she?' he asks again. ‘Why aren't we phoning the police?'

His mother sits down wearily in front of him, leans back on the sofa. ‘I don't know who she was, but I want to talk to your dad first of all.' She grabs her phone and taps quickly on the screen.

‘Who are you calling?'

‘Your father.' She holds the phone to her ear and sighs. ‘It's his voicemail again,' she says. Then she turns her attention back to the phone. ‘Callum, please call me back, and let me know that you have Georgia with you.' Her words are terse. ‘We need you to come home right now.'