All That Lies Within (40 page)

Carolyn turned to Dara and then to Rebecca. “Rebecca, can you give Dara and me a minute?”

Dara said, “That won’t be—”

“Sure. I’ll be out on the deck.”

When Rebecca was out of earshot, Dara whispered fiercely, “What are you doing?”

“Did you hear yourself? You told Rebecca she understood you completely, she understood what was in your heart. But there’s this one pretty significant thing about you that she doesn’t know—you’re a medium. Or did you tell her?”

“Damn it, Carolyn.” Dara jumped up to pace.

“So, you didn’t tell her. You can’t ask this woman to turn her whole life upside down without being completely honest with her. It’s not fair.”

Dara turned beseeching eyes to her best friend. “What if it’s a deal breaker? What if she can’t accept that part of me?”

“Don’t you think you should find that out now?”

Tears sprang to Dara’s eyes.

Carolyn got up and put her hands on Dara’s shoulders. “I’d like to think I’m a good judge of character. Rebecca is one of the genuinely nicest human beings I’ve ever met. She’s never given any indication that she’s anything but open and accepting about anything to do with your life. Why would this be any different?”

Dara swallowed down a sob. “Why can’t I just keep that to myself? It’s not like it happens all the time and it’s not like I’m going to talk about it anywhere.”

“You mean it’s not like when you were a kid. You’ve learned to keep your mouth shut about it,” Carolyn said quietly. “Sounds an awful lot to me like there’s a very scared little girl in there.” She tapped a finger against Dara’s heart.

Dara closed her eyes tightly as a tear leaked out. Her lips started to tremble. “I’m scared, Car. Rebecca is the one. She’s the person I’ve been waiting for my whole life.”

“Then trust her with this.” Carolyn wiped a tear from Dara’s cheek. “Have faith. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

“You really think so?”

“I do. And I think she deserves to know before she makes any decisions about her career or her life.”

Dara nodded resolutely. “I’ll go out there and talk to her.”

“Everything all right?” Rebecca asked, when Dara joined her on the deck.

“Sure.”

“You’ve been crying.” Rebecca pulled Dara to her and held her close. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I-it’s… There’s something I need to tell you. About me. Something I should have told you a long time ago.”

Rebecca’s heart hammered. She let go of Dara and stood at the railing, looking out over the backyard. “You don’t want to be with me anymore. You just couldn’t figure out how to let me down gently.” Rebecca tried to swallow, tried to breathe, but she couldn’t. 
Please, God, I won’t be able to stand it if this ends.

“What?” Dara grabbed her from behind and whirled her around, holding her tight. “Why on Earth would you think that? Did you hear everything I just said to you in there? You’re my life, Rebecca.” Dara rocked them from side to side. “That isn’t it at all. It’s about who I am. Or at least, about a part of me I haven’t shared with you until now.”

“I’m listening.” Rebecca’s voice sounded strained, even to her own ears. She pulled away from Dara’s embrace and sat down in one of the chairs.

Dara sat on the edge of the other chair and faced her. “Do you remember Renée Maupin? You met her at the movie premiere. She and her wife, Yahzi sat with you and Carolyn.”

Rebecca nodded. “You grew up together.”

“Right.” Dara fidgeted in the chair. “Carolyn told me afterward that you asked Renée a question that she never answered because the movie started.”

Rebecca thought back to that night. She had teased Carolyn about finding out more about her and Dara as children.
And the look on Renée’s face was sheer panic.
“I remember. I thought Renée’s reaction was odd.”

“That’s because she didn’t know what to say to you. You see, my relationship with Renée back then was…contentious.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning she was my worst nightmare. Remember how you told me you got bullied at school?”

“Yes.”

“And I told you I knew exactly how you felt, but I said that was another story for another day?”

Rebecca nodded. “I let it slide because I knew you were a very private person, and it felt like the topic might be painful for you.”

“Oh.” Dara touched Rebecca’s arm with her fingertips, then let her hand drop. “You are the most sensitive, perceptive person I know. I love you, Rebecca.”

“I love you too.”

“I hope— I hope you still feel that way when I’m done telling you this.”

Again, Rebecca’s heart rate increased as she struggled not to let her insecurities get the better of her.
What is it? This big thing? Surely this time was different.
“Please, Dara. Just tell me why I’m not right for you.”

“What? Sweetheart, where does this stuff come from? This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. You’re perfect for me in every way.”

Rebecca wanted to believe what Dara said, but that part of her that still looked in the mirror and saw the overweight, awkward teenager nobody wanted to be around, wouldn’t fully accept that someone like Dara could want her.

Dara took a deep breath in. “The reason I got bullied by Renée and others was because I saw dead people. It’s the same reason I had so much trouble with my parents. Well, one of the reasons, anyway. They thought I was obstinate and crazy. So I just stopped talking about it. And I willed myself to be normal.” Dara sat back.

Rebecca could see that she was trembling. She went to her, knelt and put her hands on Dara’s knees. “They rejected you because you had a gift they couldn’t understand?”

Dara nodded.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry for that. It must have been so lonely for you.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“You said you’re able to communicate with people from the other side. I heard you.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“My God, Dara. Why would that bother me? It’s a remarkable gift. It makes you all that much more special.”

“Why don’t you sound surprised?”

Rebecca laughed. “How could I read
On the Wings of Angels
, read Constance Darrow’s written comments to me about angels and ascended beings, and not recognize that the author had a deep and abiding understanding of metaphysics? I’m just sorry you found it so difficult to tell me.”

“I just thought… I was worried…”

“What, that I’d walk away if I knew? Oh, sweetheart, if you thought that you still have a lot to learn about me.”

“I hope I’ll have a lifetime to do research.”

“I’m counting on it.” Rebecca stood up and climbed into Dara’s lap. “I love you, Dara. All of you. Everything about you. Unless you’re secretly an ax murderer or you’re cheating on me, there isn’t anything you can do that would make me turn away.”

Dara wrapped Rebecca in her arms. “What was all that about you not being right for me and me wanting to walk away?”

“My own childhood scars rearing their ugly heads. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it? How can I not worry about the woman I love thinking she’s on shaky ground with me.”

“If I showed you childhood pictures—”

“Please tell me that you don’t think that appearances matter to me. After everything you’ve seen me go through, after all the objectification and underestimations, do you really think I’d be so shallow?”

“Well, I don’t look like that now.”

“Even if you gained every ounce of weight back that you lost, you’d still be you. It isn’t the window dressing with you, Rebecca.” Dara’s voice shook with emotion. “Yes, you’re a gorgeous woman. But I fell in love with who you are, not what you look like. So unless you’re planning to have a lobotomy, and maybe even then…”

Rebecca leaned in and kissed Dara. It wasn’t a passionate embrace, it was an acknowledgment that they’d crossed an important threshold in their relationship. After a minute, she pulled back.

“So, why was that woman at the premiere?” Her eyebrows drew together in consternation.

“Renée?”

“Yes.”

“It turns out the reason she was bullying me was because she was just like me. She figured if she was the loudest bully, no one would point fingers at her.”

“Okay. But that still doesn’t answer the question.”

“Carolyn reintroduced us a while back and we had a nice chat. She apologized for everything and I accepted her apology. We’ve been mending fences ever since. She’s nothing like what she was as a kid.”

“Good thing.” Rebecca gave her best tough look and made a fist and Dara laughed.

“Now that we’ve got all that squared away…” Rebecca ran her fingers through Dara’s hair. “Let’s get back to the business discussion. If this deal with the studio is what you truly want, then I say go for it. I’m with you. Now and always. Wherever you go, I’ll be there beside you every step of the way.”

She kissed Dara softly on the mouth. “Plus, Carolyn’s right—this would give me the perfect cover to spend lots of time with you without arousing any suspicions.”

Rebecca tried to ignore the pang she felt in her gut every time she thought about them having to hide their love for each other. She wondered if Dara felt the same way.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

“I wish you were riding in the limo with me. I wish I could walk arm-in-arm with you right up the red carpet.”

“I know you do, and that’s all that matters.”

“Not to me.”

Rebecca walked into the bedroom from the bathroom. “What are you doing under there? Not that I’m minding the view.” Rebecca tilted her head to one side to stare at Dara’s ass as she crawled around under the reading table in the sitting area near the window.

“I’m looking for my earring.”

“As in the borrowed-for-the-night, Harry Winston, two-million-dollar earring?” Rebecca got on the floor with her.

“Yes, that one.”

“How did you lose it?”

“I was having trouble getting it in my ear because my hands were trembling too badly, so I dropped it.”

Rebecca pulled Dara into her lap. “Come here.”

“I have to find it. The limo will be here in less than an hour and I’m not even dressed.”

“Have I told you how adorable you are when you’re nervous. When you win that Oscar tonight—”

“Oh, my God! How many times now have I told you not to say that?”

Rebecca laughed and kissed Dara on the nose, careful not to spoil her makeup. “I love you so much. Since I imagine you’ll be swallowed up in crowds for most of the night, let me say congratulations right now.” She held Dara fast as she squirmed.

“Congratulations for being a winner in my book. Congratulations for an unbeatable performance. Congratulations for being, I’m confident, the only Pulitzer Prize-winning author who is also an Oscar nominee for Best Actress. I am bursting with pride for you.”

Tears pooled in Dara’s eyes. “I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.”

“How’s that working for you?”

Dara cleared her throat. “Just fine, thanks.” Dara hugged Rebecca tight. “How did I ever live before I had you in my life? I love you beyond all measure. I am so looking forward to working on
Love Above All Else
with you.”

“Me too. But first you have to finish the Speilberg movie, and I have to finish writing the script.”

“Details, details.”

“Speaking of details, were you looking for this?” Rebecca held up the missing earring.

“How did you…? Where did you…?”

“Chalk it up to magic for a magical night.” Rebecca let go of Dara so that she could get up. “Now you really do have to hustle. You need help getting into the dress? I mean, what there is of a dress.”

Dara poked her in the arm. “You said you loved it.”

“And I meant it. Classy, elegant, and sexy all at the same time. You’re a triple threat tonight.”

“You’re not too bad yourself.”

“Well, my dress isn’t custom-made.”

“No, but it’s custom fit.” Dara winked.

“I’m glad you like it. Now hurry up. I’ll go get the shoehorn to help you into the dress.”

Rebecca turned on their TV to watch the coverage of the early red carpet arrivals. Since she wasn’t a celebrity, she didn’t need to arrive for a couple of hours.