All That Matters (3 page)

“What else is new? It is a day of the week ending in y.” He might have meant the words as a joke, but his tone gave no real indication of it.

Meg breathed in deep. Do not tell the prick to go fuck himself. Do not. Do not. She repeated the mantra over and over and exhaled. “My car is screwed, someone sideswiped me last night. I'm waiting for the police now.”

Doug let out a disgusted sigh. “It's twenty minutes before your shift, which means that I'm going to have to split your quadrant between the other girls.” He called everyone who worked on the housekeeping staff a girl, even the guys. It had earned him a broken nose on one memorable occasion that was one of Meg's favorite memories ever. “You say that you're waiting for the cops? Make sure that I get a copy of that report for your file. And be here on time tomorrow, even if your house burns down.” He ended the call without letting her say another word. It was probably for the best because she'd never been closer to telling him just where he could take his job and shove it.

<#<#<#<#

Monroe had come through. There was a uniformed officer at her door ten minutes after he'd driven away with the boys. His name was Sanchez, and he was barely more than a kid, but he'd filed the report and told her that he'd keep her in the loop if he got any leads.

Meg was sure that he wouldn't. It was like finding a needle in a stack of needles, much harder than finding a needle in a haystack. The fact was that she was without a vehicle, and even after the insurance payout, she wouldn't be able to afford one. Her car had been ten years old. Its book value was practically negative to start with. But it had been hers.

She'd remembered about Doug's request for a copy of the report after Sanchez had left. Annoyed at herself for forgetting something so vital, she sent him a text instead of calling. Talking on the phone wasn't one of her favorite things to do. Besides, people usually answered texts quickly and got to the point.

Meg was in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea when she heard the front door rattle and then open. “Why the hell did you lock the top lock, Meg?” Josh demanded. “And what the hell happened to your car?”

“Someone sideswiped it last night, and I lock both locks on the door to make it harder for people to just walk in.” Meg struggled to keep her tone even, when she just wanted to snarl at him. “I'm taking care of it.”

“That's not good. I needed to borrow the car. I got an opportunity, but I need some wheels. What about a rental? Doesn't the insurance company give you one? You can let me use that. This job is really good. I'll make it worth your while. Trust me.”

Meg wished that she could trust him, but she knew she couldn't. He wasn't high at the moment, but he wanted to be, or more likely he needed to be. Josh was a handsome guy when he bothered to shower, but if she had to guess she'd say he hadn't done that in several days. It also seemed like he hadn't changed his clothes in that time, either. “Sorry, Josh. My insurance company doesn't offer rentals.”

“That's bullshit, Meg.” He took a step closer. “I need to get to this job. Shit, give me money, and I'll just take the bus.”

Any money that she gave him would go directly into his arm. They both knew it, but he wouldn't admit it. Instead, he'd just come up with lie after lie. Meg was too tired for it. “No, Josh. You won't take the bus. You'll go and get high. Sorry. I don't have any money to spare for you to get high.”

“It's not to get high. Fuck!” Josh let his temper flare, and her wall suffered the damage of his fist. “I need money for the bus or a car. I'm serious this time, Meg. This is the perfect job for me. Perfect!'

Meg had heard it all before. “I've got nothing for you, Josh. I spent the last of what I had left at the grocery store so that your kids can eat.” She took a step back and waited for the next lash of his temper. So far, he'd never hit her, but she was starting to realize that day was coming, and then she would have an interesting choice to make. “Speaking of the kids, why didn't you tell me Joshua got detention?”

“It was detention, not like he was stuck in County.” Josh reached into his pockets. “You got a smoke? I need a smoke.”

“There's a pack in the freezer. But you smoke it out on the back porch. I don't want the boys around the smoke. Leo's asthma can get pretty bad, especially during the winter.”

“I know my own fucking kid, Meg. Maybe you ought to remind yourself that you're not their mother. Roxie is.” The mere sound of the name gave Meg rage. Righteous rage. Roxie, short for Roxanne, had been a one night stand turned supposed soul mate for Josh. She'd used her way through two pregnancies and hung around long enough for the boys to sort of remember her before she took off. It had been five years since she'd been gone. Meg hoped that she'd died choking on her own vomit, surrounded by filth.

“I might not be their mother, but I'm the only responsible adult in their lives. And we're going to have some new rules. First rule, do not take money from your kids.” Meg swallowed her anger down. “It's a shitty thing to do. Second, if there's anything going on with school and them, I'm the one who handles it.”

“Fuck you, Meg. You know what? You're a stupid, fat bitch, and you always have been.” Josh was enraged again. He lunged for her, sent her stumbling back. She'd have lost her balance if she didn't grab the edge of the counter to steady herself. “They're my kids. You don't tell me what the fuck to do with them. Keep it up and I'll take them away from here.”

“That'll happen over my dead body, Josh.” Meg pushed him out of her personal space. “And don't you ever lay your hands on me again.” His face screwed up with anger, but then the expression changed. She bit back a sigh when he began to cry. Maybe it was wrong not to have any sympathy for him, but how could she when he started to cry at some point during every argument.

“I'm sorry, Meg. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sick. You've got to help me. Please help me. Please.” Josh dissolved into the well rehearsed tears.

Meg was too tired to fight with him any more. “I don't have anything to give you, Josh.”

“The boys have some money left.” He didn't even have the decency to look ashamed

“No, they don't. They gave that to me towards paying off the neighbor whose window they broke.” Meg tapped her foot against the floor. “And I told you this at least two times since it happened. It's great to know that you pay attention when I talk. Just get out, Josh. Go.”

“I'm not leaving until I see my boys,” he replied. “I'm going to grab a shower while I wait for them.” Without another word, he just walked out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. Meg let him go, and she wasn't sure what that said about her. She should have kicked him out on his ass, changed the locks and filed officially for custody of the boys, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

Instead of letting herself wallow, Meg decided to tackle the things in the house that always needed to be tackled. The boys did exactly the chores specified so they'd receive their meager allowance, and she handled the rest. It was therapeutic in a way to sort the laundry and throw it in the wash. She ran the vacuum and swept the kitchen floor. She even went outside and swept the back porch while smoking one of the cigarettes that she never allowed the boys to see her with.

By the time that the boys arrived home from school, Meg was calm again. They were full of stories about the day; well at least Leo was. Joshua stayed quiet until his father came down the stairs. Josh had always cleaned up nicely; today was no exception.

“There's they are! My boys!” He grinned as he came down the stairs. “You ready to kill some zombies?”

“We can't, Dad. We're grounded.” Leo replied. “But I've got a new book from the library.”

Josh scoffed at that. “What do you mean you're grounded?”

“They're grounded because they broke the neighbors window, remember?” Meg felt the calm start to ebb away because somehow she just knew that Josh was about to say something to really piss her off.

“That was weeks ago. You're being too hard on them, Meg. I'd say they deserve time off for good behavior.” Josh flashed her his best charming smile.

“Rules are rules for a reason, Josh. They'll be off of punishment in five more days.”

“They're off punishment now. Last I checked, they're mine to make decisions on. And not for nothing, the whole window thing was just an accident. Alright, go and set the game up. We've got to get you boys the new system, the graphics are insane. Tell you what, once this job that I'm starting tomorrow starts to pay, I'm gonna buy that system for you.”

Meg knew that would never happen. Josh was always full of empty promises. The boys would realize it soon enough, and it broke her heart. She didn't want them to feel disappointed because Josh didn't know when to shut up.

“No, you won't, Dad,” Leo spoke up. “You told us that you were going to get it for us three months ago. And you didn't.” He looked over at Meg and then away quickly.

“I really wanted to, Leo. I did. But I had to take that money and give it to Meg so that she could keep this place going and the two of you taken care of,” Josh lied smoothly. It was hard for Meg not to pick something up to bash him in the head with. “This time it's going to happen. You've got my word on that.”

Meg was stopped from having a complete and total shit fit when the doorbell rang. Not sure who it could be, they really didn't get much company, she looked out the peep hole first. It was Monroe. She opened the door, the boys had left it unlocked when they'd come inside. “Hey.”

“Hey. Sorry to just drop by, but Leo mentioned what game system they have and I had some games I never got around to trading in. Figured they might get some use out of them.” He held up a plastic shopping bag she hadn't noticed him holding.

“I'm sure they'll love that.” Meg remembered her manners. “Why don't you come inside and give them to the boys yourself.” As soon as she spoke, she regretted the words because she heard footsteps approaching from behind.

“Who was that at the door?” Josh asked. “Hell no. He is not welcome in my house.”

“Good thing that this isn't your house, then, isn't it? Kiddos, Monroe's got something for you.” Meg glared at Josh, but he didn't notice. He was too busy staring daggers at Monroe. When they boys went to move towards him, Josh blocked them.

“Go on upstairs. You don't need anything from the cop.” Josh had a nasty look in his eyes.

“I'm not a cop anymore, Josh. I guess you hadn't heard.” Monroe took a few steps closer. “Hey guys, nice to see you again.”

“Hi,” Leo replied when Joshua only glared. “What do you got?”

“Some games.” Monroe extended the bag to him. “Why don't you and your brother take them in the other room while your dad and I catch up?”

“Are you fucking him, Meg?” Josh demanded. “Is that why he's coming around, being all nice? Got to say, I'm a little surprised. I'd have never figured that you were his type.”

“Watch your mouth in front of the kids!” Meg snapped. Her voice sounded brittle, ready to break. “Guys, go in the living room. Please.”

“Why don't you go with 'em, Meg? Me and Josh can step outside for a little conversation.” Monroe's tone made it clear that the conversation would be taking place with their fists.

“Yeah, go on.” Josh cracked his knuckles dramatically. “This fight has been a long time coming.”

“No.” Meg cleared her throat. “I think that it's actually for the best if that conversation doesn't happen, now or ever. Monroe, thanks for your help today. Really. And for thinking of the boys. What do you say to Monroe?”

“Thanks, Monroe.” Leo smiled widely. “Maybe you can come back again and play with us.”

“You know what, I think that I'll do that,” Monroe replied. He looked over at Meg, but she turned away. She didn't know what she'd see on his face, and she didn't want to. The truth was, deep down, that she'd have loved to let the two of them go outside and watch while Josh got his ass beat, but as much as she wanted to see it, she knew that the boys didn't need to. “You've got my number, Meg. Call if you need anything.”

“I will, Monroe.” She walked over to the door to let him out. “And thanks again.”

“It's no problem, Sweetheart.” He leaned in, brushed his lips against her cheek and whispered, “Are you sure that you'll be alright?” Meg responded with a nod. She blinked back tears and watched as he walked out of the door.