All That Remains (Metamorphosis Book 1) (8 page)

“I didn’t say that. He’s trying and you slapped him for it.”

“You
did
say that actually. He made a statement. I replied. He could have left it at that but he pushed. I answered. My dad died. It was ugly. He had Park-B type one cancer. You can’t possibly imagine what it was like to watch him just waste away. He was six and a half feet tall. Hale. Hearty and strong. He was barely a hundred pounds when he died. It took her four months after that before she left the house. Don’t you tell me what’s harsh. You don’t know anything about it. I don’t need anyone to police my feelings. You understand me? You can fuck me and eat my pussy but no one owns my feelings but me. No one gets to tell me what is and isn’t okay to feel.”

“No, she’s right.” Hatch turned her head with a finger on her chin. “You can say what you feel to me. I
should
have contacted her before. I ran. I ran from my past. From her. From you. From everything I was before so I could be someone else. I felt like I had to cast it all off or be drowned by it. Like I couldn’t have it if I stayed in Portland, even with you. And part of that was a mistake. And one I fixed. I’m not hiding from that anymore. I’m different, yes, but who I was, where I grew up and how, it’s all part of who I am now. It just took me a while to get there. I’m sorry she had to wait four years to hear my condolences and I’m sorry you went through that without me. I’m ashamed you had to do it alone.”

“I had people around me who I could count on. We all learned things from you leaving.”

Hatch flinched. But it was true. Hatch had ripped part of her out and left her reeling. Watching her father die, her mother waste away while her other father had his own grief to deal with but had to push it aside to keep her mother from simply letting go. All her life until that point she had leaned on Hatch. Trusted him to be there when she needed him to be. And he left.

“I survived. She survived and I know her, she’ll be happy to get your letter. She still loves you.”

“What about you?”

“Part of me will always love you. But I don’t trust you, Hatch.”

He sucked in a breath. “I’m back. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re not back, Hatch. You two showed up for harvest. That I was here was a coincidence. You don’t get to claim credit for being back. That’s not what this is.”

“It didn’t start out that way, no. I love you, Summer. I never stopped loving you. I made mistakes. I’m still realizing just how big those mistakes were. But I found you again. Charlie said it and I believe it. We were meant to be here, where you were. Were meant to find you. I want you to trust me. You
can
trust me.”

“Let me ask you something. Why didn’t you try to find me before now?”

“I don’t know. I missed you. I just figured you were in Portland and you’d found someone else. I figured you were happy and I didn’t want to screw that up.”

She kept looking at him.

“What?”

“I don’t want to see you again until you’re ready to tell me the whole truth.” She looked to Charlie. “You either.”

“What? Why do I get punished?”

She looked at Charlie. “You and he are a team. I tried to be with one person who was already with someone else and it didn’t work. That and you’re allied with him. You’re on his side and while that’s awesome for you both, you make the choice to do it, you’re stuck with all he does.”

Charlie looked around her to Hatch. “Tell her.”

“
I
was happy
.” Hatch blurted it and when he saw her face he was sorry he had. But she wanted honesty and maybe it was the way to trust between them. He didn’t deserve her but he wanted her, damn it.

“I’m not lying when I say I figured you’d settled down by now. I mean, you’re beautiful and intelligent and you’re good with people. You’re the settling down type and I wasn’t that guy. Not then. Not until very recently and only because of you.” He shook his head. “I thought that and maybe I let myself keep thinking it instead of asking myself if it was worth finding you. Maybe I didn’t want to face this.” He waved a hand between them. “I was a dick and now I have to own it and see your face knowing
I’m
the one who put that pain there. I walked away and while I
did
think of you and I
did
miss you, I was happy. It wasn’t until the last half a year or so that I started really thinking about putting down roots.

“The honest truth is that once I saw you again I knew that I’d been hiding from the truth. I never got over you. And I was a shit and I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to love you. I want you to love me. I hate that I upset you.”

“This is moving very fast.” She was speaking very carefully and he knew her, knew she did it because she was on the verge of tears.

“Don’t break things off.” Charlie took her hand. “We’re all trying right now to make this work. Don’t give up.”

“I’m not giving up. I’m just saying this is too fast. All this love talk and putting down roots stuff. It’s only been a few days. I’m happy to share my body with you both. And my affection. But this let’s make it work stuff? Too soon. You need to back off and let me process all this. I’m drowning in you both. I can’t think straight.”

“What if we don’t want you thinking straight?” Charlie brushed his fingertips over her cheek.

Hatch didn’t quite trust himself to speak yet.

“I can’t be with you if I’m not thinking straight. I can’t go through losing Hatch again. I came here and made a life. I’m on my own. I take care of myself. I like that. I like who I am. I don’t want to ever want to turn to someone for support and have them be gone. I can’t.”

Ah. Well he’d been honest, he supposed it was only right she was too. Or, to be fair, she had been all along.

Hatch took her hand in both of his. “We’ll go slow so you can trust me again. I’ll prove it to you. However you need to do it, we’re on board. Right, Charlie?”

“On one condition.”

They both turned to Charlie. “What’s that?”

“You’re ours. You can tell yourself it’s just your body and your affection, but you don’t share those with anyone else. That’s not negotiable for me. It may be just a few days, but I know what I know. I’m patient enough to wait for you to admit you know it too. But you’re in our bed and we’re in yours and that’s that.”

She nodded. “All right.”

A
few days
later there was a knock on her door and she opened up to find Hatch standing there. “Thought I’d walk you to work this morning.”

That was…nice. Really nice.

“Come on in a second. I need to grab a few things and then I can go. If you have the time that is.”

“I do, yes.”

She wanted to feel guilty that he was waiting around for her, but instead she felt…appreciated. But there was some residual awkwardness after she’d asked them for more time. She found herself examining her behavior and her reactions to them to be sure she wasn’t punishing them, even as she wanted to push to be sure she was getting what she needed to think clearly. Namely the time to let their relationship unfurl a little.

She tended to charge full speed into things but the fear of allowing him back into her heart fully and of being left behind was difficult to get around so she had to wait for it to lessen or for him to prove he wasn’t to be trusted.

He followed her inside and paused as she did her extra moves to get the back door to latch closed.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s wonky. I should have Dulce look at it and fix it but I haven’t yet. It works if I jiggle it down and to the left and then lift it when I latch it halfway.”

He frowned. “I don’t like it that you’re not safe.”

She smiled, unable not to. “It still locks. It just takes a little finesse. Plus it’s Paradise Village. Totally safe.”

He stepped to her, pulling her close. “Save your finesse for sex, not for locking your door.”

Even though Dulce was a whiz at fixing anything broken it wasn’t something she’d ask her sister to do on a regular basis. She’d want to pay and Dulce wouldn’t let her and she’d have to sneak money or something else like jams or tea into Dulce’s house instead. So she had gone to the library in Paradise and checked out a book on home maintenance and then had forgotten it and had to pay overdue fines. And she’d kept meaning to fix it and it didn’t get fixed because she had other things she wanted to do instead.

Hatch walked her to the stall and kissed her at the back door. “I’ll see you later on today?”

She nodded. “How about you two let yourself into my place and I’ll bring home dinner.”

He smiled and kissed her again. “All right. Have a good day.”

And she had. And when she’d left work it was Charlie who was at the back door waiting.

He kissed her and took her packages. “Can I walk you home?”

“Door to door service? What did I do to merit this?”

“You exist, sunshine.”

Hatch was in the kitchen and handed her a glass of wine when they came in. “Your door is fixed.”

“Really?” Touched, she threw her arms around Hatch. “Thank you. You didn’t have to. I told you it worked with a little finesse.”

He kissed her nose. “And I told you where that finesse was better used. And now your door closes and latches and we know you’re safe when we’re not here.”

Charlie put the packages down,

“You two worked way harder than I did today. Sit and let me get dinner. You made it last night anyway.” They’d had dinner every single night since they promised to give her some time and space the week before. Most of the time they cooked, which was nice, but she wanted to do something for them.

“We had a soak already and have been here in your very cool house while the heat raged outside. We’re fine. Relaxed even.”

“I have some rabbit stew and fresh bread. Potatoes too and a bread pudding a friend dropped off for me earlier today.”

They ate and after they cleaned up, they headed down to the lake and swam long into the night before coming back and collapsing in her bed.

* * *

A
few weeks
after that night, Hatch woke her with a kiss.

She stretched into his arms and realized Charlie wasn’t in bed with them. She looked behind her and then around the room.

“He’s procuring supplies. Come have a picnic with us today. We got a map to the falls and the trail leading to them. I took your bicycle out of your shed yesterday and checked it over, put air in the tires, all that. Your seat was really loose and your front wheel was in dire need of tightening. Baby, you could really get hurt if you don’t care for your bike better.”

Pleasure surged through her. “You did?”

He cupped her face in his hands. “Of course I did. Our bikes get used more often but we didn’t know about yours. Why would we take you out if we weren’t sure you’d be safe?”

It was a little thing, but in other ways a huge thing. He thought of her first. Put her first. Took care of details she could easily do herself. And he knew she could, showed respect for that. But did them anyway. To take care of her and that got to her.

He rolled over, covering her body with his. “So is that a yes?”

“The water up there is icy cold. That sounds like exactly what a day like today calls for.”

He hauled her out of bed and she got dressed, packing a few things in her backpack before they headed outside where Charlie strolled up.

He kissed her, nipping her bottom lip. “Morning, sunshine. You ready?”

She grinned. “As I’ll ever be. It’s a good thing I’ve been exercising regularly, the last two miles are not for wimps.”

Charlie took up the rear, with Hatch up front. She hadn’t lied about the last two miles of the trail. But her hair hung down from the back of her cap, catching the light, so pale and pretty against the green of her shirt.

He’d seen a change in her as the time had passed. She’d come to rely on them with more ease. They were together pretty much daily, taking their meals either at her table or in the Commons with Dulce and the group of friends they’d begun to build.

And Hatch. Hatch had begun to change too. He was more open. Not just with Charlie, but with Summer too. Consistently thinking about their needs and really listening. Loving Summer had made Hatch a better person and it had made him a better partner to Charlie too.

In turn, Charlie had fallen in a new kind of love with Hatch as he also tumbled into love with Summer. Watching the two of them work to find their footing with each other had enabled Charlie to see them in a different light.

“Wow.” He managed to get the words out around his gasping for breath. “This is beautiful.” And it was. The falls were fairly inaccessible to most people up a steep trail. But it overlooked the rest of the mountain range and the valley and lake below and the lower elevations to the north and south.

“Wait for it.” She got off her bike and leaned it against a nearby tree. “Come on around this bend here.”

He took the hand she held out and Hatch the other and they walked around a curve just past the main path and it wasn’t the arduous trip that stole his breath then but the main falls with a pool it fed into.

“Like a secret grotto or something.” Hatch kissed her temple.

“It’s called Secret Pool. So yes. People come to the main falls and it’s pretty and the view is breathtaking. But I like it back here because it’s about five degrees cooler and totally private.”

Charlie pulled her shirt up and off and she laughed.

“What? You’re red and sweaty and I bet that water would make you feel better. It’s really all about your comfort, sunshine.”

“Nothing to do with me being naked at all huh?”

He put a dramatic hand over his heart. “I’m wounded you’d think that.”

She pulled her shorts and underwear off after she ditched her shoes and socks and jumped into the water. He and Hatch followed, swimming around her until they’d cooled enough to end up sunning on a nice flat rock ringing the pool.

“You always jump right in. I like that about you.” Charlie lay on his back, his head on her thigh.

“I don’t want to waste time. I want to eat it up in big gulping bites. I jump in and wade out.”

Hatch kissed her neck. “When we were kids she’d eat half the blueberries before we even got them back home. She couldn't wait.”

Her laugh made Charlie’s mouth tip up in response.

“The New Earth movement is about stillness and appreciation of what we have now instead of what we used to have before Park-B, right? So as children we’re taught to savor and meditate on the bounty of nature and what it provides. To me, a mouth full of blueberries is my benediction from the Earth. Or jumping into the water and letting myself sink to the bottom before I rise to the top again. The people at the communities think on it a different way, and I’m all right with that. They might not think I’m pure NE anymore, but living here in Paradise Village has brought me closer to those roots than I have been in a long time. Appreciation and celebration do not have to mean deprivation. I have one life and I want to live it with as much verve as I can.”

Hatch caught her chin and kissed her mouth long and slow. As he did, he tangled his fingers with Charlie’s, who watched the beauty unfurling between Hatch and Summer.

Hatch eased her back, kissing down her body, licking the water from her breasts. Charlie got to his knees and slid her legs wider, joining Hatch at her pussy, licking and nuzzling her to one quick, hard and fast climax and then backing off a few minutes before going back go make her come again and another time after that.

Then she leaned back against Hatch while Charlie fed her, while she and Hatch took turns jerking him off until he came. And then turned their attention to Hatch.

Even later, when Charlie closed his eyes he saw the way her skin looked, water beading against her ink, the size of Hatch’s hand at her hip, the feel of his fingers in Hatch’s.

* * *

I
t wasn’t
as if she’d complained about any of the little things needing fixing in her caravan. But the latch on her bedroom window had been sticking and one day when she’d gone to close it, it had been fixed, along with the hole in her screen.

This had made her jump into bed between her men and kiss them both silly. And then when she’d slept in as they’d gone out early to work, she’d awoken to find a new sketch on the pillow.

Charlie was always drawing things for her and leaving them as gifts. Folded like origami into cranes and flowers, he liked to keep his hands busy. There was a menagerie of paper animals all over her caravan. Brightly colored scraps of paper he’d rendered into little horses or birds.

Hatch had gone out of his way to be more open. To share his dreams with her. To be there not just when she needed him, but to be there before she realized she needed him. To fill that need before she had it.

It had always been flattering to be in Hatch’s focus, but now it was so much deeper than flirtation. His focus was on an entirely new level.

And Charlie? He was the buffer, the person who knew both of them well enough to translate them for one another. She and Hatch would butt heads and Charlie would step in and restate what Hatch or Summer would say, only with words they could truly hear. It was a lovely gift he had and it made her love him all the more. And seeing Hatch through Charlie was illuminating as well. That Charlie loved Hatch and Hatch loved him back allowed Summer to see a different, softer side of Hatch.

It made her smile as she took her lunch to a table near the bakery stall.

“So what’s going on in your life lately?” Jemmy grinned as he slid onto the bench across from her at her lunch break. It had been about four, maybe even five months since she’d seen him. Then again, a lot of her focus was on Hatch and Charlie these days.

“Hey.” She smiled in response. She didn't love him, no, but she liked him a great deal and whatever else they weren’t she did consider him to be a friend. “Things are pretty fantastic as it happens. What about you?”

“We’re working through stuff. Me, Elia and Tay I mean. It’s not always easy, but it’s what you do when you want things to work out.” The happiness on his face was genuine and that made her glad.

“That’s wonderful to hear.”

“So you’re in a relationship.” He blushed. “I mean, I’ve seen you around with them a lot so I figured that was the case. You’re not one to stick with someone long term unless it’s the real thing.”

“I am. In a relationship that is. I’m sorry if I…if.” She shook her head. “I’m not saying it right.”