Allie's War Season One (68 page)

I barely recognized him. His black and red and blond-dyed hair had grown out in a streaked tangle past his shoulders. His face was paler than I’d ever seen it, his eyes too large, his cheekbones too prominent. One of his hands wore a flesh-colored bandage, but he didn’t look like Cass, who...I turned, staring at the scar that split her face, feeling sick for staring but unable to stop. I wanted to touch it, to see if it was real, when she grinned, shaking my shoulders to get my eyes back to hers.

“Hideous, aren’t I?” She grinned, but I saw a denser pool of sadness there. No, not sadness, a kind of brokenness that disappeared even as I glimpsed it. “Forget that! You’re here! You’re here!” She squeezed me again, jumping up and down.

I hadn’t managed to make my mind emit so much as a single coherent thought, but when she grinned at me, something in me seemed to break. I gripped her, pulling her against me. I held her as tight as I dared, still afraid I would hurt her.

“How are you here?” I managed. “How did you get here? Cass! How are you here?” I clutched her tighter. “Cass...”

“How did
we
get here?” Cass demanded, shoving me playfully. “We heard you were dead! That you blew up in a bomb! In Pakistan, no less!”

By then, Jon reached me, too, and he pulled me away from Cass, crushing me in his thinner but still strong arms.

“Damn it, Al.” He kissed my face. “I can’t believe it. I’m so glad to see you.” He choked, and when I saw him fighting not to cry, I felt myself do the same, although my mind still hadn’t caught up. I could barely look at him.

“Jon...” I managed. I clutched his shirt. “Where did you come from?”

“Where?” He gave a strange kind of laugh, wiping his eyes. “We finally caught a plane from Istanbul. Revik’s going to freak, you know...like, lose it.”

I froze in his arms, but Jon went on talking, not noticing.

“We had to dig ourselves out of some hole in Georgia...as in Stalin, not banjos.” He let out another strangled laugh. “Since then, he’s been moving us in circles for weeks, worried we would lead them to you, and now you come to us, like some kind of...” Seeing my face, he trailed, as if confused by what he saw. “Your picture was all over the news. We thought you were dead...they said you were dead! Revik’s been talking to Vash since we got here, but no one’s heard from you since they dropped you off in Kolkata...” He wiped his eyes again. “They couldn’t say where you were going...some security thing.”

“Revik?” I managed. “Did you say—”

“Shit.” Jon stared at my face. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’d given up. I really had.”

“Revik?” I repeated.

“Yeah.” Jon did a double-take on my face. “You don’t know! He’s with us, Al. Terian got me and Cass in San Francisco. They brought Revik in a few weeks later. He looked like hell...” Jon gave a humorless laugh. “...Still does, if you want the truth. But he saved our lives...more than once. Of course, he nearly shot us dead, thinking we were more Terian bodies. Terian had him drugged, and we were all a little crazy by then...”

He paused, thinking. His eyes grew puzzled as he looked at me.

“Al,” he said. “You’re not here for us at all, are you?”

Cass laughed. “Who cares? She’s here!” She yanked on my arm. I stared at her again, unable to take my eyes off the scar. I looked at Jon’s bandaged hand. It looked too small.

I reached for it, and he pulled it away, smiling at me wanly.

“Don’t trip, sis. We’re okay.” His eyes remained on me, carrying an odd intensity I didn’t recognize. “And what the heck happened to you?” He held out my arms, looking at me. “Even in that get-up, you look like you should be carrying an uzi. You actually look...taller. What have those crazy seers done to you?”

I couldn’t force out words. I stared between them, feeling like I might pass out. Just then, Maygar seemed to have come to the end of his rope.

“Bridge,” he hissed through his teeth. “Who are these fucking humans? What is going on? If you don’t tell me, I’m going to start shooting people...starting with myself!”

Cass and Jon’s eyes swiveled, taking in the muscular seer who, I realized suddenly, still hovered over me, trying to decide if he should intervene.

Cass spoke first, looking Maygar up and down. She nudged my elbow, giving me a wan smile.

“Who’s the cutie?” she said. “You two-timing, girl?” Lowering her voice, she murmured by my ear, “...I hope he has insurance.”

I glanced at Maygar, baffled, not sure at first what she even meant...when the look on his face brought me up short. Maygar’s eyes were trained out through the study doors. As I watched, a deep scowl lined his features.

“I don’t believe it,” he said. “That son of a bitch has nine lives.”

Without thinking, I followed his gaze, and my eyes connected solidly and without warning with Revik.

He stood several yards back from the doorway, wearing a dress shirt and black pants, arms folded tightly across his chest, talking to Eddard. From his face and profile he looked about forty pounds lighter than the last time I’d seen him. I felt him notice my stare, even as I realized he wasn’t going to return it. I watched his hand comb long fingers through his black hair, noticed the absence of his ring, and suddenly the chain I wore felt heavy around my neck.

Averting my eyes, I clutched the back of the leather couch.

My hands actually shook. I gripped the couch harder, but it didn’t help. Cass caught my arm, her voice excited again.

“You won’t believe the crazy shit we’ve seen!” she said. “We were in Russia, Allie! In this town of slave traders in the mountains! Some guy tried to
buy
me! It was freakin’ psychotic. And Revik speaks Russian, so he basically told the guy—”

“Not now, Cass.” Jon patted my shoulder when I didn’t look up. Taking my hand, he rubbed my fingers with his. “You all right, little sis? Your brain’s not going to explode, is it?” Once my eyes flickered up, he smiled. “Surprised to see us?”

I nodded.

“Did you think we were dead?” he said.

I nodded again, feeling tears come to my eyes.

“And Revik?” Jon prompted. “You thought he was dead?”

Fighting the impulse to turn, to confirm what I’d seen standing in the hall, ignoring me, which should have been confirmation enough...I gave Jon another nod. I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand, then sank to the leather couch. Cass and Jon sat on either side of me, each with an arm slung around my back. I don’t know how long I sat there, but eventually, I took a hand from each of them. I cleared my throat.

“We haven’t eaten,” I said. “Maygar’s probably—”

“Yeah.” Cass’s voice was quiet. “They’re talking right now...him and that other guy.”

“Oh.” I didn’t look towards the door.

“So I guess Terian wasn’t lying about you and Revik?” Jon smiled, punching my arm. “You’ve got a frickin’ husband, Al? How did that happen?”

“He really did save our lives,” Cass added. “He’s a nice guy, honestly...if a little scary at times.” Her voice grew tentative. “Is he still your husband though, Allie? He thinks you’re really mad at him. It sounded like he deserved it...but, well...I like him, Al. A lot.”

I stared at the pattern in the rug.

After a few seconds, I let out a short laugh. It sounded like a seal’s bark.

“I think she’s in shock, Cass,” Jon said.

“Well, where is he?” she said, sounding angry. “I thought he’d come in here at least. What’s he doing out there?”

“Hiding.” Jon laughed, poking me in the ribs with his fingers. “Turns out Rambo might be afraid of his wife. Are you going to talk to him, sis? Or let him stew out there?”

I raised my hands, using my fingers to comb the hair out of my face.

“Is there a bathroom?” I said.

I felt them look at each other.

Then Jon’s voice grew matter-of-fact. “Yeah. Sure.”

He stood me up, steering me gently towards the door of the study...then right past Revik and Maygar, both of whom I felt looking at me now. I followed Jon to the base of the staircase without returning their stares, and he pointed up.

“Bathrooms are bigger up there. You can even take a bath if you want...in fact, I highly recommend it. There’s clothes, too. Cass has bags of new stuff...second door down, I think. He took us shopping a few days ago, and man does that guy have an expense account.” Jon grinned when I glanced up, but the grin faded when he saw my face. “Al. Are you all right?”

I nodded. “Don’t wait for me. I won’t be long.”

He pulled me into his arms. I felt his heart, a warm flare in his chest.

“I’m so glad you’re all right, Al. I’ve been worried about you. For months. I was beginning to think...”

Tears stuck in my throat. “Me too.”

He let me go. After standing there awkwardly for a few more seconds, I turned and began to climb the stairs. When I glanced down from the half-floor landing, Jon still looked up at me, his eyes worried, his hands resting on his hips below too-thin arms decorated with tattoos. I noticed new scars, fading bruises, and looked away.

I need a bath, I thought. Then I would feel normal again.

Then I would be all right.

IT TOOK ME longer than what I’d told Jon.

I didn’t know whose bedroom I was in, didn’t want to think about it too closely when I saw women’s shampoo on the rack alongside men’s.

Wrapped in a towel once I’d finished, I wandered into two different rooms before I found the bag Jon mentioned. I was over two inches taller than Cass by then, with a chest about two sizes smaller, but I finally settled on low-hung silk pants and a stretchy tee. After scrutinizing my reflection in the mirror for far too long, contemplating make up, then abandoning the idea, I tied my hair in a loose knot at the base of my neck and made myself go downstairs.

Jon and Cass were alive. My best friends were alive. By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, that much had finally penetrated.

My smile as I entered the dining room even felt real.

I sat in the chair closest to the door without making eye contact with anyone other than Jon, who, seeing my smile, grinned back. I looked for Cass, found her sitting next to Revik in the opposite corner. He had an arm draped over the back of her chair, and she laughed as she told him something. He smiled, tugging the ends of her long hair. I stared at his hand where he touched her, saw more affection in his eyes as he looked at her than he’d ever aimed at me.

Then I heard Maygar’s mocking voice as we’d approached the building.

...prefers humans.

Revik’s eyes swiveled to mine. For the first time, he looked directly at me, and the look there was...christ. It was guilt.

I moved before my brain could process a complete thought.

“Allie.” Revik’s chair squealed on the hard wood. He stood almost as I did. “Allie.” He held out a hand, what looked like a peace gesture, or something you might do to calm an animal. “Allie...where are you going?”

Silence fell on the room. I swallowed, looking around at faces.

Maygar sat back in his chair, arms folded. He raised an eyebrow at me, but I flinched when I saw the pity in his eyes. Jon gave Revik a warning look I couldn’t interpret, and Cass just looked confused.

I couldn’t make myself look at Revik.

“I...” I cleared my throat. “Sorry.” I waved vaguely at the spread on the table. “Go on, eat. I’ll be right back.” I was lying. I knew I was lying, that I was running away, but I couldn’t do it, not even for Cass. I’d just walk away, I told myself. Pull my shit together. Then I’d come back. They’d obviously been through hell. I had no right to begrudge anyone anything that might have come of it, especially since I was—