Alligator Action (8 page)

“It's
him
!” hissed Josh, shocked and scared.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” sang out Destiny Darcy as the man took his place next to Petty on the sofa. “This is my godfather and my mother's oldest friend—VICTOR CROUCH!”

Victor Crouch smiled sadly at Petty and attempted to pat her shoulder as she stood up, leaving the marbles to roll across the stage. Petty slapped his hand away. He sighed and turned his hurt face to the audience.

“It is a terribly tragic case,” he said. “I was Petty's best friend for many years.”

“Aaaaaaah,” went the audience.

“Yes! Until you decided to stab me in the back, steal my work, and burn my memory out!” raged Petty. “Some kind of friend you turned out to be!”

“Aaaaaaaw!” went the audience.

“Ah, Petty,” sighed Victor Crouch, “it is very sad that you can't remember what
really
happened. You worked far too hard, and your mind just snapped . . . Poor Destiny and I tried to help,
but you were really quite mad by then, and you pretended you didn't even know us. It broke poor Destiny's heart . . .”

Petty's face twitched as she stared at Destiny. “Do something for me,” she asked the chat show host. “Take off your shoes!”

Destiny looked confused. “Take off my shoes?”

“Yes, dear. And show me your feet,” Petty said.

Destiny looked a little awkward, but she sat down on one of the sofas and pulled her sparkly black sandals off. Petty came closer and peered at her feet. “Aha!” she said. “Just as I thought. Rampant warts! Even after all these years . . . Yes . . . I definitely remember your fungal feet!”

“Eeeeeurgh!” went the audience.

And then Petty clapped her hand across her brow. “Of course!” she cried out, spinning around to face her old enemy. “I forgot Destiny because YOU burned out bits of my memory. It's YOUR fault, Victor Crouch! You are my ENEMY, and you're not going to get away with it!”

Victor attempted more shoulder patting and said: “It doesn't matter now, Petty, because
Destiny and I still
love
you...”

The audience went “Aaaaaaaaah!”

“. . . And we're going to take you to a happy, safe place . . . where we can get to know each other again.”

Three burly men, this time dressed in white coats, stepped onto the stage. Josh and Danny sat bolt upright in their seats. This was going wrong.
Badly
wrong.

“We're taking you to a lovely hospital to help you get better, Mommy,” purred Destiny. “And you can still do all sorts of fun experiments while you're there. You can even have your little helpers come along with you. And guess what? They're here today!”

And then the cameras swung around to the audience, and Josh and Danny saw their own awestruck faces staring out of the screen at the back of the stage.

“Victor Crouch is after US too!” gasped Josh. “QUICK! Get DOWN!”

Josh and Danny threw themselves under the legs of the audience and slid through the gap in the seats, amid much shouting and squealing.

“Help us! Help us, audience!” called out Destiny. “Little Josh and Danny have to be caught and helped! They've been contaminated by my mother's experiments and need hospital treatment NOW!”

There was uproar. People started grabbing for the boys as they scrambled through the scaffolding until they reached the grass. In a gap between someone's legs, Danny watched as Petty was seized by the men in white coats.

“S.W.I.T.C.H.! We have to S.W.I.T.C.H.!” he yelled to Josh.

“What—HERE? In public?” Josh squawked.

“YES! We have to cause a HUGE distraction
or they're going to get Petty and lock her away and we'll never see her again!” Danny hauled the S.W.I.T.C.H. spray out of his jeans pocket. “And then they'll come for US!”

“GO!” Josh said. A second later, the S.W.I.T.C.H. spray hit him. Danny sprayed himself and pushed the bottle back into the case. Stashing it under his T-shirt, he saw that Josh was an alligator again. And FURIOUS. Josh's long, strong tail swished back and forth. He lost no time running out from under the seats as he thundered toward the stage, roaring with rage. Danny came hot on his brother's scaly heels.

The audience screamed with fear. Two
huge
alligators appeared out of nowhere and careened towards Destiny Darcy and her guests. Josh saw one of the men in white coats freeze, his mouth falling open in terror. Josh climbed onto the stage and ran for him, snapping at his heels. The man squealed and staggered offstage.

Destiny leaped onto one of the leather couches and shrieked for her burly security men. But they had all fled in horror. The audience, too, stormed out of the tent, falling over one another. Those still standing were shoving others out of the way to reach the exit first. Only a couple of cameramen stayed to film the action. Josh's and Danny's antics showed on the big screen behind them. Their tough brown scales gleamed in the bright lights.

Josh and Danny roared even more. They opened their huge jaws, showing off their many rows of teeth. They bellowed loudly. Victor Crouch sank into the sofa next to Petty, covering his face with sweaty fingers. One of his penciled-in eyebrows rubbed off.

“HELP! HELP! HELP MEEEEEE!” Destiny shrieked, as Josh brought his jaws crashing down on the leather sofa she was standing on. She fell into the corner and flapped her legs and arms, wailing, “I don't waaaant to get eaten by a crocodile! Nooooooooo!”

“It's NOT a crocodile, Dessy!” snapped Petty. “It's an alligator! Surely you know the difference, child?”

Destiny's foot smelled pretty good—warts or not! Josh reckoned it would be a lot like gnawing on a chicken drumstick. He grunted, grinned, and went to take a bite.

“JOSH! Is that YOU?”

Josh looked up at Petty and nodded, grinning madly with his snaggly teeth.

“Well, stop that AT ONCE!”

Petty stood over him. “I will NOT allow you to eat my daughter, no matter how much she deserves it.” Josh closed his mouth and stepped back, feeling rather ashamed. It was the Piddle incident all over again.

“DANNY!” called Petty. “You CAN eat Victor if you want.That is perfectly acceptable.”

Victor Crouch squeaked and then fainted, rolling sideways off the sofa.