Allure (22 page)

And she better fucking believe that.

Kira

The way he says “
Newcastle
”, with that accent and those eyes that stare so deep into me I can’t catch my breath. I’m fighting a losing battle. Joey’s right. Neal Cannon is my reason to stop running from everything that scares me.

I smile, and he smiles too, and I feel my heart leap right up into my throat because his smile is the most beautiful thing.

‘I guess the fight ends here, baby,’ he whispers, his mouth almost touching mine and I give my stomach permission to flip over as many times as it wants to now. I’m done pretending this isn’t happening; done ignoring all the stuff going on inside my head. ‘The fight ends here.’

But I’m not sure I agree with him completely on that score.

I think the fight’s only just beginning.

Twenty-Three

Neal

It was a big thing for her, to let me into her own private space, her home. But I think we’re pushing a lot of barriers down now. We’re moving on, and no, the sex isn’t getting any less frequent or any less crazy but she’s mine now. I watched as she took down her profile, shut down her calendar, changed her phone number. But she hasn’t left the business completely. She’s still part of the agency. They didn’t really want to lose her, and she didn’t want to walk away and leave it all behind. She’s something of a mentor for the younger girls – for those coming into a business I used to think of as a necessity but now I’m struggling to get my head around. They want her to stay on, to keep an eye on some of the girls; help them. To what? Become her? Spend their lives meeting men like me in hotel rooms and rented apartments for an hour of the kind of sex they either can’t get at home, or the kind of sex I’d once wanted – sex without feeling, commitment or emotion. Empty sex.

‘You didn’t tell me it was your birthday?’

I swing around to see her standing in the doorway of the bedroom, and I want her so bad I feel the ache cut right across my chest. I’d forgotten it was my birthday. It’s not something I even think about anymore.

‘How did you find out?’

She smiles and walks over to me, straightening the collar of my shirt. I’m going out later. Thought I might pay a few of the clients I saw just a few weeks ago here in
 
Newcastle a visit, do a little bit of following-up, make sure everyone’s happy. Kira’s meeting with a few of her fellow escorts so I’ve got a couple of hours to spare. ‘I’ve obviously got a better memory than you, Mr Cannon. You told me, remember? I told you mine, you told me yours, on one of those rare occasions when we attempted talking rather than fucking.’

The way she says “fucking” stirs my cock; the way her mouth forms the word as she looks into my eyes, but I’m OK with it all now because she’s done with the other men. The only one who gets to touch her like that is me.

‘We did that, huh?’ I grin, and she slides a hand around the back of my neck, pushing me down for a kiss that I return harder and stronger, holding her tight against me.

‘Yeah. We did that.’

She kisses me again, and I wish she wasn’t going to see those girls today. I know she’s pulled her profile; I know she’s stopped seeing other men. And I know I can’t ask her to give up everything she is; everything she was. But it’s a link I’d rather she didn’t still cling on to.

‘Happy Birthday, Mr Cannon,’ she whispers, her mouth resting against mine and I close my eyes and breathe her in. ‘And when you get home this afternoon, I’m going to give you a present I think you’re really, really going to like.’

She’s got my cock on red alert again. ‘You got nothing for me now, huh?’

Her mouth twists up into the sexiest smirk and I swear if she doesn’t lose her panties and open those legs I am gonna come anyway, and it’s gonna be one hell of a waste.

‘You want a hint?’

‘Anything you got, baby.’

We can’t stop it. We can’t. And maybe this insane, out-of-bounds attraction we have won’t last forever, but isn’t that all the more reason to take it now? While it’s here and it’s strong and it’s telling me I need her so fucking bad.

I watch as she slides a hand up under her dress and tugs down her panties, stepping out of them as soon as they hit the floor and I’m unzipped and ready before she’s even had time to lean back against the doorpost.

I’m in her like I’ve not been there in months, thrusting hard and fast because we both know this isn’t gonna last long. This is a relief fuck; nothing more than that. So neither of us care that I’m coming within minutes, her legs tightening around me as I cry out, her fingers digging into my shoulders and back causing a pain that only heightens the feeling.

‘Jesus, Kira… You really are killing me, darlin’.’

She unwraps her legs from my hips and stands up, her arms still loose around my neck. ‘Well, try and stay alive until later, OK? You’ve still got your present to get, remember?’

There’s a look in her eyes that I can’t read, but it’s making me smile and that’s good. We’re finally getting somewhere.

We might only be at the start of this journey, but as I’d held her close and fucked her quickly; felt her legs around me and her muscles gripping me tight, I know exactly where I want us to end up.

Kira

I can’t walk away completely. I still need some control. And that’s why I’m staying a part of the agency. Why I want to continue to look after the girls who, for whatever reason, feel the need to do what I did for ten years. If they really want to live this life, even if it’s only for a short space of time, then I want to be there to teach them the tricks, show them how they can give these men the best experience; how they can make it work for
them
. If they really want to do it then I want them to stay safe.

‘So, how’s life as a Madam treating you, then?’

I throw Joey a look as he slides into the seat opposite me at the restaurant we’ve arranged to meet in for lunch.

‘You and Benni OK?’ I ask, ignoring his comment. He’s just in a mood because I haven’t left the business completely.

‘We’re fine, thank you. Everyone has their creative differences, and we had a very small one last night. It’s done now. It’s over.’ He waves his hand in a dismissive manner and fixes me with a look. ‘So, you’ve let Mr Beautiful into your home – sorry,
our
home; you’ve taken down your profile,
almost
retired from the business…’ He smiles up at the handsome young waiter who’s pouring our wine, not missing the chance to flirt, despite the fact he’s practically married now. ‘Things are moving forward, then?’ He turns his attention back to me, and I take a sip of wine, stalling for a moment before I reply.

‘Things are going OK, Joey, yes. But he’s been back from
New York
three days. That’s all. There’s still a lot to get our heads around.’

‘Listen, angel, he got you to finally see sense and close those beautiful legs to everyone but him. I’d call him a miracle worker.’

I roll my eyes and take another drink. ‘He didn’t
get
me to do anything, Joey. I did all of that because I wanted to, alright?’

‘But you didn’t want to cut those ties completely, huh?’

I look down into my wine. ‘No. I didn’t.’ I raise my gaze to meet Joey’s. ‘I still want to keep a small part of who I am… I need to hold on to that, Joey. Do you understand?’

He shrugs and picks up the menu, opening it and scanning it slowly. ‘I suppose so.’ He looks straight at me, and I keep eye contact as I take another drink. I need to slow down, though. I don’t want to be too light-headed when I get home. Neal still needs his present, and I let my stomach do a little dance as I think about what’s to come. ‘You
have
stopped seeing other men, though, haven’t you, Kira?’

‘Yes, Joey, I have. I no longer go on dates or fuck for money, OK?’

‘Such a crude mouth on you sometimes. And to think I let you kiss me with that.’

I throw him a sideways smile, and he winks at me. I love Joey so much. And I’m not sure I’d be sitting here right now with a new, albeit still uncertain future ahead of me without him. I’d needed him to push me in the right direction otherwise I probably would have stayed running.

‘Seriously, sweetheart…’ He leans forward and rests his arms on the table, looking right into my eyes. ‘What happened with Simon…’

‘I’m dealing with it, Joey. Properly, this time. I’m letting someone love me and show me that I
am
worth something. And I’m learning to love someone back. To trust again.’

Joey reaches across the table and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze. ‘There is one thing, though, angel. I mean, we can’t ignore the fact that you live here and Neal – his life is in
New York
. And I don’t think a long-distance relationship is something that’s going to work for you two.’

I keep hold of his hand and bow my head, once more focusing on my wine glass. From the second Neal walked back into my life I knew this was something we were going to have to deal with. If we really want to make a go of whatever this turns out to be, I know this is a subject we’ll have to broach at some point. Soon. My home is here; my
life
is here, but I can’t ask him to stay and change everything
he
is just because I don’t want to leave
Newcastle
. Or maybe I’m just not brave enough.

‘It’s something we’ll have to talk about, I know that.’

‘And if he asks you to go with him, to
New York
? What are you going to say this time?’

I can see in his eyes that he’s torn – he doesn’t want me to go, but he wants me to be happy.

‘I really don’t know, Joey. Look, he’s here for a few more days yet, so, can I just enjoy having him with me while I can? And all those bridges that need crossing, we’ll get to them, OK?’

He smiles, and I don’t know if I could leave him. He’s my best friend, my family, the rock I can’t do without. Without him I think I’d fall apart. ‘Alright then, angel, let’s eat.’

He’s back in Joey mode and I breathe a sigh of relief. I’m having a good day today – I’ve had a lovely morning with some of the most wonderful girls, letting them in on some of my own secrets of the escort trade, now I’m having lunch with my fabulous friend, and when I get home I’m going to give Neal a present he really won’t forget. And once more that thought sends my stomach on a double-flipping session.

‘What’re
you
smiling at?’ Joey asks, looking at me above the rim of his reading glasses.

‘Hmm? Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise I was.’

He fixes me with a look, and I throw him an innocent one back.

‘What?’

‘You’re thinking about something…’ He holds up a hand and drops his gaze back down to the menu. ‘On second thoughts I don’t want to know. You’ll only make me jealous, imagining you and Mr Beautiful all tangled limbs and rutting bodies.’

I can’t help laughing. ‘Seriously?’

‘Oh, don’t tell me you’re all slow and romantic, like a scene from one of those god-awful TV movies we love watching when we have a duvet day.’

‘We might be.’

‘Like hell you are. I know you, missy. And I’ve seen your extensive costume wardrobe. You don’t do slow and romantic.’

‘I might.’

He looks at me again, and we both laugh. I really do love this man. So much.

‘It’s his birthday today.’

‘Whose?’

‘Neal’s.’

Joey raises an eyebrow. ‘Really? He never said.’

‘He’d forgotten.’

‘Well, he’s had a lot on his mind I suppose. Did you get him anything? Actually, don’t answer that. I’m not sure I want to know the kind of last minute present you’d think appropriate for him. I can probably guess.’

I don’t say anything. And his guess would more than likely be half right, but I doubt he’d be completely correct.

‘We’ll throw a party for him, tonight. At Bam-Bams, after the show. OK?’

‘He might not want a party.’

‘Listen, angel, he’s part of our lives now so he’s having a party.’

‘
Our
lives?’

‘What’s yours is mine and vice versa, that’s what we promised each other, kiddo.’

‘I can’t for the life of me remember that deal including men.’

 
‘Anyway, don’t worry about the party, I’ll sort everything out. You just get him there.’

‘What if we’re busy?’

He raises an eyebrow. ‘What exactly have you got planned for this afternoon?’

I just smile. Joey wouldn’t like what I’ve got planned. It really wouldn’t be his thing.

He snorts derisively and looks back down at the menu. ‘Just don’t wear him out. Do whatever it is you’ve got to do to him, then get your best frock on, slip on your highest heels and get him to Bam-Bams.’

Yeah. I like my life. Here.

But if I really am starting to feel things for Neal – real things, real feelings I can’t ignore any longer – then maybe here isn’t where I’m going to be able to stay.