Almost a Family (6 page)

“Trouble in paradise?” Kim smiled cutely, snickering at Molly’s sour look.

“You’re enjoying this far too much.”

“Hey, I have nothing else to entertain me. I’m bored to death. What’s going on?”

“He’s mad because he didn’t get to save the day.”

Kim chuckled. “You two have always been insanely stubborn. Never able to see the other side of things.”

“What do you mean?” How much did Kim really know about why they’d broken things off? Had Jason confided in her? Considering how close they seemed to be, it was highly likely. Molly studied her sister curiously. Would Kim lay the blame on her the same as Jason did?

“Why do you think I asked you to come? I could have made other arrangements for Sara. It’s been six years since you left to do your law degree, and you still won’t talk about him. Someone had to get the two of you together long enough to resolve things.”

Molly bristled. “That’s not your place.”

Kim continued, undaunted. “He’s lived next door to me for two years, ever since he opened the clinic. I know for a fact he’s never gotten over what happened between you. He refuses to talk about you, and even when I bring up something, like how you got your new job or moved to a new apartment, he changes the subject.”

“So?”

Kim sighed. “You broke it off and left. You never talked to each other about it. You just left things hanging. I know he wanted to marry you. I see him with Sara. He wants a home with a wife and a family of his own. He can’t have that until he moves on from you.”

“So you set us up?” Molly leaned forward in her chair, her elbows on her knees, trying not to think about the warm feelings that accompanied the fact that Jason still held a torch. “How could you do that?”

Kim shook her head. “You think I planned to get myself nearly killed and spend weeks in the hospital just to get you two to talk? For God’s sake, Molly. The other driver
died
.”

Molly blushed. Knowing now what had happened and seeing how affected by it Jason had been, she knew her accusation didn’t hold water. “Of course not. I’m sorry I said that.”

“Don’t be too sorry.” Kim chuckled softly. “Once I came out of the anesthesia, I wasn’t about to waste an opportunity. You needed to come home. I needed help. Jason needs closure. I know neither one of you had that after you left.”

“He told you that?”

Kim offered a lopsided smile. “It’s not rocket science, kiddo.” Her face clouded for a moment as if she were remembering something, then cleared. “Jason did confide in me once about your breakup. It hit him hard. It hit you hard too, even though you wouldn’t admit it. I want to see things made right, that’s all.”

“At least you’re not matchmaking.” Molly relaxed, then narrowed her eyes as Kim looked away.

“Kiiiim?” She drew out her sister’s name in warning.

“Well, would it be so bad?” her sister defended. “You both still care for each other. I’d like to have my only family closer.”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Molly breathed, frustrated. “I have my own life, he has his. That ship has
so
sailed.”

“Isn’t there some middle ground?”

Molly sniffed, remembering asking him for that very thing. “There’s never been any middle ground with Jason. He asked me to marry him right after we graduated. He was going to Charlottetown for his vet degree and I had been accepted to U of T. He expected me to change my plans and follow him to Charlottetown to be the good little wife. He had our future all mapped out. I’d work while he finished vet school, and then he’d come back here and set up his practice while I did my law degree. I’d finish and practice for a year, he said, before I got pregnant.” She ran her hand through her hair. “He had us in a house with two point five kids and student loans up the wazoo before we’d even headed up the aisle. I suggested we wait. I wanted to go to Toronto and do my degree. We were still so young, only twenty-one. I said we had lots of time. I wanted to get my career established before we had kids, and I thought perhaps somewhere else might be better for both our careers.”

“And what did he say?”

Molly met her sister’s bold look evenly. “He said that four years apart was no way to start a marriage and his wife would stand by him, not head across the country.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said that there were things we both wanted, and maybe we could find a way to work it so we were both happy.”

Molly sighed, remembering. They’d been sitting on his bed, the June morning sun glowing through the blinds. He’d gone to his dresser drawer and had taken out a black velvet ring box. But hearing what he had planned for them had made Molly feel like she was being tucked into that box, closed in and doing exactly what Jason dictated. They had argued. He’d tucked the ring into his pocket and their voices had risen until they were nearly shouting. And things had fallen completely apart.

“He said me with him was the only way he’d be happy, and it had to be that way. I left.”

“That’s it?” Kim stared at her sister. “You never spoke again?”

“No. I went to Toronto and did my degree, as planned. He did exactly what he planned too, only he did it alone.”

Kim frowned as she absently stroked her daughter’s hair. “You guys need to clear the air,” she suggested. “Professionally you have what you wanted. But personally… I mean, you haven’t been one for serious relationships and neither has Jason. He dates occasionally, but before anything gets serious, it’s always over. You’re holding each other back.”

“Well, thanks, Dear Abby. I’d rather cut off my own tongue than talk about this with Jason again.” Molly’s tone was acidic and final.

Kim grinned. “I’m sure he feels the same. Jason’s one of the best men I’ve ever met, but both of you are as stubborn as mules. Somehow, you’ve both got to let go of your pride and get past it. You both deserve to be able to move on with your lives. The way things are, you’re both stuck.”

Molly leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. “Is that your official diagnosis, Doctor?”

Kim smirked. “I love both of you. I want everyone to be happy.”

Molly examined her sister closely. Jason lived next door, did all sorts of odd jobs for Kim; she trusted him with her daughter. Molly wondered about Kim’s real reason for wanting Jason to move on. What if all of this was to exorcise any remnants of feeling so he could move on with a ready-made homemaker and family? Kim certainly fit the bill much better than Molly did. She had a house, a darling daughter, made home-cooked meals and was an all-around nurturer. Molly couldn’t help but remember how he’d said he’d been listed as her next of kin number. And she couldn’t escape the haunted look in his eyes when he’d described the accident. What exactly were their feelings?

“Are you in love with him, Kim?” She asked it point blank, then held her breath for the answer.

Kim blushed. “Me?”

“You’re awfully set on him moving on. Do you want it to be with you?”

Kim looked down, and Molly’s heart jumped with dread that she was right. She should have been happy, but the thought of Jason kissing her sister was too hard to imagine. She didn’t like the thought of Jason kissing anyone, actually. And that was just silly.

“No.” Kim looked back up, her features soft. “I love Jason. He’s made life much better by being my friend. He’s a father figure to my daughter and a confidante for me. But I’m not
in
love with him, Molly. I’ve always known his heart was somewhere else. Just as mine is.”

Molly sighed. “You’re still not over the lowlife, are you?”

Kim aimed a warning look that said,
not in front of Sara.
Molly clamped her mouth shut. Why her sister was still hung up on Sara’s father was beyond her. He’d up and transferred across the country without a qualm, had never contacted his daughter. In Molly’s opinion, he didn’t deserve the pedestal Kim put him on.

“Please,” Kim pleaded. “Talk to Jason.”

Molly nodded, saying nothing.

The nurse came in to check Kim’s vitals, saving Molly from admitting that she and Jason had already kissed. And fought.

When Molly returned home, Jason’s truck was parked in Kim’s driveway. They hadn’t eaten dinner yet and as soon as Sara saw the truck, she started squirming in her seat.

Molly shut off the car and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. Like it or not, for the next few weeks she was going to have to put up with Jason being around. And she was going to have to ignore the fact that he was still as sexy, maybe even more so, than he’d been all those years ago.

He opened the front door and stared out at her, making her heart pound foolishly. Her resolve was about to be put to the test.

Chapter Four

Molly took a deep breath as she pocketed the keys. Sara was practically bouncing out of her skin, seeing Jason filling the doorway. He was standing there like he owned the place, tall and uncompromising, and it made Molly immediately defensive. She should have known he’d have his own key, but it made her feel like she had when she’d realized that he was Kim’s next-of-kin number. Now it seemed nowhere was safe from him.

She approached him coolly. “Something I can do for you?”

He looked down at her, clearly confused. “Kim called me. Said you needed help with the fuse box or something.”

All Molly’s aloofness evaporated as a laugh snorted out of her nose and she shook her head. Kim wouldn’t let up, would she? “And you believed her?”

“It does sound kind of lame now, doesn’t it?”

His deep chuckle warmed her and she glanced up to find his face more relaxed. She resisted the urge to reach up and touch the rough jawline.

Sara ran on ahead and took off her boots and jacket, leaving them strewn on the floor. Molly bent to pick them up before taking off her own coat. “I wish Kim wouldn’t interfere.”

Jason stepped all the way inside and shut the door. It seemed so…proprietary. Briefly Molly felt as if she was the visitor, even though this was Kim’s house and she was the one staying here. Not to mention she now felt trapped in the tiny foyer with him.

“Interfere with what?” he asked, and she swallowed.

Her hands now empty of outerwear, she turned and let her gaze meet his. “She thinks we should talk.”

“She would,” Jason murmured with a tiny smile. “She’d expect us to sit down over a cup of tea and work it all out. That’s her way.”

From the sound of it, he heartily approved. Irritated, Molly couldn’t stop the thought that Jason and Kim actually deserved each other… Mr. and Mrs. Paragons of Virtue.

But that wasn’t fair—at least not to Kim.

“We tried that, remember? Only it was coffee and we ended up shouting at each other.” And had upset Sara as well. Now at least her niece was around to run interference. Molly led the way to the living room, where Sara had already turned on the television and was watching a kids’ program. The last thing she’d wanted after dredging up the past with Kim was rehashing it with Jason. She wished he’d just leave since he knew the emergency was bogus. She absently ruffled Sara’s hair before speaking again.

“You know, it amazes me. She’s nearly four, but she already knows every button on the remote control.” She smiled, but it faded as she continued. “Anyway, I didn’t tell Kim about the other night. I think it’s better if we forget about it.” As if they could.

He stood behind her, close enough that she could feel his warmth through her sweater; she felt, rather than saw, his shape and knew she would never really forget all the moments they’d shared since her return.

“Forget about the argument? I agree. It doesn’t change anything.”

“Perhaps we should forget everything that’s been said and done since you opened your door and found me there.” She focused on Sara as her heart paused, waiting for what he’d say next.

“Are you saying we should let the past go and start over?” His voice was soft in her ear and she shivered.

How many times had he murmured endearments in her ear over the years? For more than four years they’d been a couple; now she could hardly go anywhere without some sort of reminder of that time. Still, nothing affected her more than his voice, his touch. The thought of starting over was exhilarating and deathly frightening at the same time.

“Do you think that’s even possible?”

He stepped back and the air around her felt suddenly cold, deprived of his presence. “No, I don’t.”

She turned, her heart heavy. What had been good between them had been
really
good, but all the things that had gone wrong were still there.

He looked down at her, his jaw set and his eyes cold.

“People always talk about a clean slate,” he said, shoving his hands into his back pockets. “But you can erase marks on a slate. They haven’t found a way to erase memories yet. And we have too many of those.”

They stared at each other a long time as the past warred with the present.

“Do the memories still haunt you, Jason?”

He turned away, avoiding her probing eyes. Perhaps she’d gone too far. She had said all along that she didn’t want to get into this with him. But now, now they were together, she couldn’t help it. She felt the odd urge to know exactly how badly he’d been hurt. If he’d suffered as much pain as she had.

She laid a hand gently on his shoulder, which stiffened beneath her touch.

He stared at her fingers on his shirt. “What do you want me to say, Molly? You broke my heart when you left. For four years you had been my world and then you were gone. You never said goodbye. You never called or wrote. It was easy for you.”

Easy for her? Never. Molly glanced at Sara and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Is that what you think? That it didn’t hurt me to leave you?”

“You didn’t show it.”

“How do you know? This is the first you’ve seen me since I left.”

He turned back to her and she saw the pain in his eyes, along with resentment and perhaps even a little longing. “Did it?” He took his right hand out of his pocket and cupped her jaw. “Did it break your heart to leave me?”

She swallowed, closed her eyes to the touch of his fingers on her skin. Oh, it had. It had torn her to little pieces and she was coming to realize she’d never really put them back together. Nothing had changed. Jason was still her ideal, no matter how much she blamed him for their breakup. But he could never, never know that. She couldn’t give him any ammunition, not if she wanted to make it home in one piece.

“I survived,” she whispered and exhaled as his hand disappeared from her face.

He cleared his throat gruffly. “I’d better get going, if there’s no emergency,” he murmured, and she let him go.

*

Molly sighed, took her fingers and began to work a kink out of her neck. Files were strewn all over the kitchen table, a cup of cold coffee sat forgotten beside the humming laptop. Sara had gone to her room to play tea party with her stuffed animals and Molly had grabbed the moment to get something—anything—accomplished. She’d planned to put in a few hours every day while Sara napped. But that hadn’t worked out, as at this age naps were the exception and not the rule. The briefcase sat unopened and she’d spent her time picking up toys, soothing hurts and doing laundry. Now she was trying to play catch-up on a Saturday.

She cocked an ear. Sara was being awfully quiet. Too quiet. Frowning, she wondered what sort of trouble the toddler could be into. She glanced at her watch, realizing with surprise that it had been over an hour since she’d opened her briefcase. Where had the time gone?

She headed for the stairs as a strange feeling of unease began to pulse through her. Perhaps Sara had grown tired and fallen asleep.

When she opened Sara’s door, she knew immediately the girl was not there. It was silent, too quiet. Animals were scattered on the frilly pink spread and a handful arranged around the play table with cups and saucers before them, but there was no sign of any other occupation in the room. The unease grew to a frantic pounding of her heart as she opened the closet and checked under the bed, in case Sara was hiding. But she found nothing beyond a few missing Barbie clothes and an unmated sock.

“Sara?” she called out, but her voice echoed throughout the house. She felt, rather than knew, that something was not right. Still, she rationalized as she hurried out of the room. Sara was only three. She couldn’t be far. She was probably just hiding, looking for some attention. It was Molly’s fault for trying to focus on work.

She checked the other bedrooms—nothing. She ran down the stairs, checked the living room, the laundry room, even the pantry. No Sara.

“Sara, if you’re hiding, come out. This isn’t funny.” Her voice cracked on the last word and she felt anger war with the fear running through her body.
I should have watched Sara more closely
, she berated herself. That was the whole reason she was here. She skidded to a halt in the entry. How could she explain to her sister that she’d lost her daughter? In her own home?

That was ridiculous, she rationalized. Sara had to be here somewhere. Molly took a deep calming breath, trying to think logically.

Her eye caught Sara’s pink peg where she normally hung her jacket. The peg was empty and the boots that usually sat so precisely beneath it were gone, too. One pink mitten lay orphaned on the floor. Her stomach hit her feet. In what seemed like slow motion, she looked at the front door. The deadbolt was unlocked.

Disregarding her own coat, she threw open the door and called, “Sara? Sara, answer me!”

Nothing. The snowman they’d made earlier that week was leaning lonely to one side, one rock eyeball laying on the ground. The only sound was the soft shush of thick snowflakes fluttering to the ground.

Oh God. How could this have happened? The thought skidded through her brain as she pulled on her jacket and shoved her feet into Kim’s winter boots, leaving them unlaced. Sara wasn’t in the house. Her coat and boots were gone and she was somewhere in a snow flurry with only one mitten. What if she’d decided to try to see her mother?

Visions of Sara walking along the busy road by herself nearly stopped Molly’s breath. Anything could happen. She could be hit by a car; no one would see her in this visibility. Or someone could stop and take her. She could get lost and be out in subzero temperatures before they found her. Tears of terror pricked Molly’s eyes and burned the top of her nose. Sara was gone and it was all her fault.

Don’t panic,
she commanded herself and told herself to breathe. After she inhaled, then exhaled, she knew there was only one person she could call for help: Jason. Jason would know what to do.

She ran through the ankle deep snow to his house and pounded on the door. “Jason? Jason, open up! It’s Molly!”

He threw open the door, looking harassed with his mouth set in a firm line and his eyebrows pulled together in the middle, making a crease in his forehead. “Keep your shirt on!” he ordered, frowning down at her.

At the sight of him, she started to cry without explanation. It didn’t matter that she had vowed not to need his help. It didn’t matter that they were still at odds over broken hearts and mixed messages. All that mattered was that Sara was missing. All she knew was that there was one person she could count on. Could always count on.

“Please,” she begged, her voice thick with tears. “Sara’s gone and I can’t find her anywhere and her coat is missing and…”

Jason grabbed her upper arms. “Get a grip, Mol,” he ordered. “She’s here. She’s asleep on the couch.”

The flood of relief almost buckled her knees and was immediately followed by hot anger. Anger at Sara for disappearing without telling her. Anger at Jason for not calling to let her know. And most of all, anger at herself for losing it in front of him. Tears pricked again, relief and confusion and frustration all rolled together in one uncontrollable, blubbering mass.

“What in the blue blazes is she doing over here? And why didn’t you call to tell me?” She wiped her cheeks furiously, leaving them tearless and blotchy.

His chin flattened. “Now it’s my fault?”

“I thought she was in her room!”

He stood upright, indignant. “And I thought you had let her come over. That’s what she said.”

At that Molly’s eyebrows soared sky-high. “I wouldn’t let her come over alone! What sort of person do you think I am?”

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped a little. “The kind that would take great pains to avoid spending any time with me.”

Silence dropped like a bomb. Standing back, he pushed open the door so she could enter.

She did and took off her coat, not knowing what to say. He was right, after all. She had been avoiding him. She peeked inside the living room to the right. Sara was laying peacefully on the sofa, covered with a soft blanket with a gigantic golden retriever’s face on it.

Watching the girl sleeping, Molly took several deep breaths to get under control. Tears smarted in her eyes at the supreme relief of knowing her niece was okay. Finally, she faced Jason. With her voice clogged with unshed tears, she said quietly, “You still should have called me. You have no idea what went through my mind. I was terrified.”

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “She said you’d said it was okay. I figured you’d dressed her up and made sure she got here. It’s only across the lawn.”

“I did not do any such thing. I was working in the kitchen and she was supposed to be upstairs in her room. I can’t for the life of me figure out how she got out without me hearing.”

“Well, she’s safe, anyway,” he said, and Molly felt the emotions draining from her slowly.

As the panic subsided, Molly caught herself staring up at him. She noticed for the first time what he was wearing, and her mouth watered despite the fear and anger still trickling through her veins. Bare feet and a pair of surgical scrub bottoms, paired with a white T-shirt. A day’s growth was on his face. He looked relaxed and cuddly and she wanted to grab the drawstring on the front of his green scrubs and untie it. Pull him closer to her and feel his warm, hard body against hers. Let what was left of the adrenaline drain away in the shelter of his arms.