Almost Forever (11 page)

Claire looked away from the laughter in his face. “I don't
think it would be a good idea,” she said, her voice going stiff. “We're just friends, remember, and—”

He got to his feet, laughing at her as he pulled her up and took the coffee cup from her free hand to set it down. “I'm not going to bite you,” he said and kissed her.

It was a light, swift touch, exactly the way he had kissed her before. “There, did that hurt?”

His vivid eyes were dancing. He was teasing her, and she relaxed. She had thought that he meant a different kind of kiss, and she didn't dare let him kiss her deeply. She wasn't certain of her control—if he kissed her with any degree of passion, she felt that she would explode in unbridled response. He wouldn't have any doubt then about the way she felt. He was too experienced, had been with too many women who were desperate to hold him, not to recognize the same lovesick symptoms in her. It was far better that he tease her rather than feel sorry for her.

Then he kissed her again.

It was an admirably restrained kiss, but it lingered, and he opened his lips over hers. Automatically she parted her own lips to adjust the fit. His taste filled her mouth, his lips firm and warm. Pleasure rose in her, and for a moment she almost melted against him, almost raised her arms to twine them around his neck. Then panic twisted her stomach. She didn't dare let him know, or she would never see him again! Swiftly she turned her head away, breaking the contact of their mouths.

He pressed his lips to her temple, and his strong hands rubbed up her back in a long, slow sweep. He didn't want to push her too far. Just for a moment she had responded to him, and the taste of her had gone to his head like a potent wine. His body was responding strongly to her nearness. He didn't dare hug her to him the way he wanted, because there was no way he could hide his arousal. Reluctantly he let her go, and
she immediately took a protective step away from him, her face set in a blank mask. Suddenly he was determined not to let her retreat, as she had done so many times before. He was a man; he wanted her to see him as one. “Why are you so uneasy whenever I touch you?” he asked, tipping her chin up with his finger so she couldn't hide her face from him. She was too good at hiding her thoughts, anyway, and he needed every little clue he could get. He wanted to be able to see her face, her eyes.

“You said you wanted to be friends,” she replied stiffly.

“Friends aren't allowed to touch?”

His whimsical tone made her feel as if she were making far too much of things, and perhaps she would have been—if she hadn't felt far more for him than just friendship. But she was in love with him, and even his most casual touches tormented her with mingled pleasure and longing.

“You told me that you wanted a friendship without sex.”

“Surely not. I don't believe I've taken leave of my senses.” Gently he rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. “What I said was that I was tired of being pursued simply as a sexual trophy.”

Claire was both astounded and alarmed. Had she so completely misread the situation? He was looking down at her with amusement, and she began to tremble. “Don't look so frightened,” he soothed, moving his hand down to stroke her bare arm. “I'm attracted to you, and I'd like very much to kiss you occasionally. Is that so alarming?”

“No,” she stammered.

“Good, because I intend to continue kissing you.” His lashes veiled his eyes, allowing only a thin glittering line of turquoise to show, but Claire sensed his burning triumph and satisfaction, and she became even more uneasy. It was just like those times when she had glimpsed something ruthless in him, as if he weren't what he seemed at all. It didn't help that
his look of triumph was immediately gone, because it left her feeling disoriented, not knowing anything for certain.

He bent and kissed her again, then left, and Claire stood staring at the door long after it had closed behind him. He seemed to have decided that he wanted more than simple friendship from her, and she didn't know how to protect herself. She was without any emotional defenses and so terribly vulnerable to any hurt he might give her. She loved him, but she felt that she didn't know him at all.

M
ax placed a call to Dallas as soon as he got back to his apartment, wanting to pass along the information Claire had given him as soon as possible. He knew that Anson would take action on it first thing in the morning; by Monday, the takeover would be in motion. His job wasn't finished, of course—he would have to oversee the transfer of ownership and negotiate the endless details that were always so important to the anxious personnel of the acquired company, but the major hurdle had been cleared. Max Benedict could become Max Conroy again, and he could turn his attentions on Claire.

Claire. She was the most complex, elusive woman he'd ever known. She kept herself hidden away, not letting anyone get close enough to really know her, but that was about to change. The irritating restraint he'd placed on himself was at an end. He would take it slow with her, gradually getting her accustomed to his touch. As torturous as this past week had been, it had had a positive side in that she was already used
to his company. She was relaxed with him, and despite his frustration, the undemanding companionship he'd shared with her had had its own charm. Claire wasn't a chatterbox, and the time he spent with her had been punctuated by peaceful silences. He wanted her more than he'd ever wanted any other woman, and he didn't know why.

She wasn't the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. She was quietly pretty, with a fragile bone structure and eyes as dark as midnight pools, eyes that were full of dreams. She wasn't voluptuous—her body was almost reed slender, yet undeniably feminine. There was a softness to Claire that he found very appealing. He wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her, get behind the blank wall that she kept between herself and other people; he wanted to know her thoughts, what she felt, what dreamworld she drifted away to when those dark eyes turned shadowy and faraway.

Added to that, he liked her as a person. Max was passionately fond of women in general, but his intense sexuality sometimes got in the way of friendship—a woman was in his bed before they had a chance to know each other as people. The restraints that had been necessary in his relationship with Claire had allowed liking and friendship to grow. He liked talking to her; she was thoughtful and never malicious, and she wasn't uncomfortable with occasional silences. It would be extremely pleasant to wake up next to Claire, to spend lazy mornings with her, reading the newspaper and lingering over breakfast, talking if they felt like it and simply being silent if they didn't.

There had been only one other woman he had
liked
in the same manner, and he thought about her for a moment. Sarah Matthews, his friend Rome's wife: she was incredibly gentle, and incredibly strong. Max had been on the verge of loving her, and in fact did love her for the very special person she
was, but she had made it plain from the beginning that Rome was the only man in the world for her, and the way Max felt about her had never grown into the area of intimacy. Now she and Rome were his closest friends, and their marriage was stronger than ever, more passionate than ever.

He would like to have that with Claire.

The thought jolted him. He kicked his shoes off and stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The scenario he had just imagined had a powerful charm to it, too powerful. Claire tugged at something in him. He wasn't certain that he liked what he felt, but he was completely certain that he had to do something about it. Claire Westbrook was going to be his.

 

The next night he took her to the symphony, which she loved, and afterward they ate at a tiny Japanese steakhouse. Claire had been nervous at first, and because she was nervous she became quieter, more remote, but the music had helped to relax her. Max seemed just as he always had: cool and controlled, watching the world with lazy amusement. She felt safe when he was like that.

She had slept restlessly the night before, her imagination picturing again and again the way he had kissed her, what he had said, like a loop of film on a projector that ran continuously. Every time she woke it was to find her heart racing with excitement, her body warm and yearning for him. She'd had no lovers since the divorce. She had drawn so deeply into herself, trying to build strength and recover from the shattering emotional blow of losing her baby and watching her marriage disintegrate, that there had been nothing left, no passion to give to a man. But without her being aware of it, time had worked its healing process, and she was alive again. Her nature was warm, passionate, and she trembled inside with need whenever she remembered his mouth on hers.

It hadn't even been a passionate kiss, but she had wanted to lace her arms around his neck and stand on tiptoe to press herself against him. She had wanted to lose herself in him, to give him everything that she was. It was a primitive, unconquerable urge, the need to lie in his arms, to mate, an urge that was inborn. Just as strong was the need to protect herself, and the two needs were warring inside her. Claire's capacity to love was so enormous that she was instinctively wary, backing away from any threat to her emotions. Because she loved so deeply, she was acutely vulnerable to him. He had the power to hurt her so badly that she might never recover.

The safe thing to do would be to run, to simply stop seeing him. She had lain in her bed and turned the idea over and over in her mind, but when morning had come she had admitted to herself that she couldn't do it. She loved him, and perhaps he was coming to care for her a little. There had been something hot and a little frightening in his eyes before he'd masked his expression, an almost predatory look of hunger. A man didn't look like that if he wasn't interested. That look gave her hope.

Now she came out of her thoughts to find him watching her with wry amusement, and color tinted her cheeks. Had he been able to tell the direction of her imaginings?

“You aren't eating at all. You're dreaming,” he said, taking the fork from her hand and placing it on the mat. “Shall we go?”

On the drive home he asked quietly, “Claire, I didn't intend to make you uneasy with me. I apologize for putting you in a difficult spot. If you aren't attracted to me, I understand. We'll simply continue being friends—”

“Oh, please,” she sighed, interrupting him. “Do you honestly believe I'm not attracted to you?”

He glanced sharply at her then returned his attention to his driving. “You've made it fairly obvious that you don't want
me to touch you. In fact, at first you didn't want to have anything to do with me at all. I all but begged to get you to accept me as a friend.”

She was silent. She couldn't tell him that she had been afraid of his charm, afraid that she would fall in love with him, because she'd done exactly that. Finally she turned her head to look at him, his perfect profile etched in silver against the darkened window, and her heart gave that funny little leap that she'd come to expect. Was he asking her to believe that dreams came true? It was hard for her to trust, to let anyone get behind the emotional barriers that protected her from hurt. She didn't think she was the type who could recover from one heartache after another, bouncing right back to take another try at true love, trusting that eventually everything would work out. Claire loved too deeply; it took her too long to recover from heartbreak.

She wasn't a gambler, but she didn't see that she had much choice. She couldn't walk away from him now. Her heart had known it almost from the beginning, and now she acknowledged it in her mind. She had to try again; she had to reach out or despise herself for the rest of her life. Max was worth the risk, and perhaps she might win.

“I'm very attracted to you,” she finally said, her voice so soft that he wasn't certain he'd heard her. His head jerked around, his eyes narrowing, and she steadily met his gaze.

“Then why have you held me away?”

“It seemed safer,” she whispered, tightly knotting her hands together in her lap.

His chest expanded as he drew in a deep breath. They were near her apartment building, and nothing more was said as he parked the car. The silence extended, then he reached out and gently drew her into his arms. She didn't see his head coming down, but she felt the warmth of his body close to her, the con
trolled strength of his arms wrapping around her, and then his mouth was on hers. Her head tilted back to fully accept him, and her lips parted softly, her response slow and tender. He took her mouth in the same way, taking his time about it, not bruising her soft flesh. The way was open for his tongue, and he probed her mouth, feeling the quiver of her body at the deepening intimacy of the kiss. He held her closer, arching her to him, and another quiver ran along her body at the sweet, heated pleasure of feeling her breasts pushing against his chest. A small groan rose in his throat. With a sure, experienced motion he covered her breast with his hand.

Her hands clenched his sleeves, her fingers shaking. Max lifted his mouth from hers and began nuzzling her jawline, seeking the delicate fragrance of her skin. He tasted her flesh as he went, discovering some of the soft places that had been driving him wild for a week: the small hollow below her ear, the length of her neck, the ultrasensitive hollow above her fragile collarbone. And all the time her small, firm breast nestled in his palm, the nipple already peaked, inviting a more intimate touch.

“Put your arms around me,” he said, his voice one of quiet demand. He wanted to feel her clinging to him, all weak with wanting. She fit into his arms as if no other woman had ever been there; he wanted it to be the same way for her. He wanted her to hold him, feel how perfect it was, their two bodies pressed together. Slowly her fingers released his sleeves, and her arms slid upward. One twined around his neck and the other around his shoulder. A shuddering breath eased out of her.

Slowly he massaged her breast, taking care not to hurt her or to scare her by losing control and grabbing at her. His own breathing didn't sound quite steady, and he knew that he had to stop or lose control. He wasn't accustomed to celibacy, and since he had met Claire, his only lovelife had been in his imag
ination. Reluctantly he eased away from her, his body on fire with a burning hunger that bordered on violence. He would have to get himself under control before he dared make love to her. She was so soft, so fragile; he didn't want to take the chance of hurting her, and he was very much afraid that he would.

“It's time to call a halt to this, while I still can,” he admitted ruefully, his sharp, knowing gaze taking in the dazed look of passion on her face. Delight filled him that Claire wasn't a cold woman, merely a deeply reserved one, and she was finally responding to him.

His words recalled her from the warm, drifting world of physical pleasure where he had carried her, and she sat up straighter, her glance darting away from him, her hands going up to smooth her hair, as if by tidying herself she could deny what had just happened. Max took her hand and carried it to his lips. “Don't,” he whispered.

He got out of the car, walked around to open the door for her and helped her out, his hand under her elbow as she maneuvered the long skirt she'd worn to the symphony. His arm went around her waist as they entered her apartment building and remained there during the short elevator ride to her floor. Some of Claire's distress at herself began to fade. His attentiveness was doing something to her, slowly making her feel more certain of herself, and it was like the first hesitant flutterings of a butterfly's new wings.

He checked her apartment then came back to her. The usual lazy, good-humored smile was on his lips, but his eyes were vivid and intent as he bent down to kiss her again. “I won't stay, not tonight. I want you to be comfortable with me, and frankly, my self-control is wavering. I'll see you tomorrow night. How formal is Mrs. Adkinson's dinner party?”

Claire remembered Leigh's inclinations well. “Very.”

“White dinner jacket?”

He had been wearing a white dinner jacket when she had met him exactly a week ago, and her senses gave a brief whirl as she recalled the way he had looked, with the lights caught in his golden hair like a halo, his eyes as brilliant and glowing as gemstones, the white jacket molded to his broad shoulders. She hadn't been the same person since that night.

“That would be perfect,” she said. He didn't know how perfect.

He kissed her again and left, and Claire went through the motions of getting ready for bed, but her mind was drifting, floating, recalling every sensation, every moment of his kisses, his touch on her breast. Her natural human need to be touched had been suppressed for a long time by her driving need to prove to herself that she could be independent, but now her body was aching and burning as it came alive after being dormant for so long. She lay in bed, and she dreamed of him.

The gown she wore to Leigh's dinner party the next night was almost nine years old, but she had seldom worn it before, and it was one of those simple styles that couldn't be dated. It was black velvet, with only a little fullness to the skirt, and the bodice hugged her lovingly. It wasn't particularly lowcut, revealing only a hint of the beginning curve of her high breasts, but it was held up only by two thin straps, leaving her shoulders and back bare. Jet earrings dangled from her ears, and she wore no other jewelry. Her mirror told her that she had never looked better, and her fingers loved the soft, lush feel of the velvet. All her senses seemed to be more alert, and she was achingly aware of her own body in its casings of silk and velvet. When she opened the door to Max, his pupils expanded until the black almost swallowed the sea-colored irises, and the skin seemed to become taut across his cheekbones. Tension hummed from his body.

But if he thought of reaching for her, he controlled the
impulse. “You're lovely,” he said, his eyes never leaving her, and she felt lovely.

Claire enjoyed the dinner party more than she had expected, even though her pleasure was dimmed by the presence of Virginia Easley. It would be a long time before she'd forget Virginia's maliciousness in inviting Claire and Jeff to the same party. Max felt Claire's slight stiffness and glanced at her in question. Then he saw Virginia, too, and his eyes narrowed. “Don't let her bother you. She isn't worth the effort.”