Almost Heaven (32 page)

“It didn't feel like he was there,” she said.

“He was. Right through the worst of it.”

“Then why didn't he stop it? He could have.”

“True. And in the end, he did.”

“But it's too late. I can't change what happened to me. That man took something from me and I'll never get it back.”

I took her hands in both of mine. “Darlin', what happened in those woods does not define the rest of your life. People might look at you and say, ‘There's that woman that was taken to the cabin in Kentucky.' But God doesn't look at you that way. He says, ‘There's my daughter. There's my spotless bride that my Son died for.' What happened out there does not have to follow you. You don't have to live in its shadow.”

She nodded like she understood, but I don't think it sank into her soul. I wanted to find out more about her condition and how long she'd be in the hospital, but the doctor and her parents came in and I had to leave.

Sheriff Preston took me home. He said we were both lucky to be alive and I told him the same thing I'd told Callie. He smiled as if he knew I was going to say something like that.

Of course the station had gone off the air again, but it didn't bother me. It was time for the preaching programs and I put one on and took a shower. I figured I would let people know more about Callie the next morning. As soon as my head hit the pillow for my nap, I was out and I didn't wake up until the whistling of the off-the-air alert.

I slept through most of the evening, waking up every four hours or so to keep the music going. Mr. Reynolds called and asked if I wanted him to bring me something to eat. “The missus is staying with Callie, but I can drop you by something if you want.”

I thanked him and said I was okay. Then he told me what the doctors said. I could tell he was holding some stuff back because it was feminine and private, but reading between the lines, I knew that though she'd been through a lot, she was going to be okay. At least physically.

As I was drifting off to sleep in the wee hours of the next morning, I couldn't help but replay some of the things I'd said to Callie. The stuff about not having the past follow you. Not being defined by the things that happen to you. I realized those words were for her, but I didn't know then that they were every bit as much for me.

* * *

Dating is not something I had ever done seriously. I have been in the company of women before, but to be honest, the pretty ones made me more nervous than anything, and it was just easier to go about my business and not deal with the heartache and letdown. When I think about all the money I've saved over the years on flowers and dinners and haircuts, it's a fair amount. Of course, I spent a lot on Heather and maybe that jaded me about romantic pursuits.

Callie and I sat together in church on Sundays, and some of the older ladies began to whisper. We decided not to let that deter us, but it was a powerful detriment to my worship, especially when Callie sat close and my neck turned red.

I'm not much one to go to the movies because I can't see spending so much money on something you could watch on video for a couple of dollars. If Callie had wanted to, I suppose I would have taken her, but I figured she'd agree with me. For our first “official” date, I took her to the most familiar eatery in Huntington—Stewarts. We ordered two mugs of root beer and six hot dogs and sat in the parking lot and ate off the tray they put in the window. We talked awhile about the radio station and her work and people at church. I felt like I could talk with her about anything, which is a good way to begin a relationship. Not that I had ever had one, but I'm just assuming that's true. If you can talk with somebody about anything, it means you'll probably do all right down the road.

There was a lull in the conversation and my thoughts turned toward more serious matters. Without much warning I just kind of blurted it out.

“I don't know what you're looking for in a man as far as financial stability.” I unwrapped one of the napkins from around a hot dog.

She licked some chili sauce off her finger. “What do you think I'm looking for?”

“I suppose you deserve somebody who will put food on the table and pay the mortgage.”

“That'd be a start,” she said. “But that's not all I'm looking for.”

“I can't buy you fancy clothes and a new car every other year.”

She turned and looked in the back of the truck. “I didn't know there was anybody around here asking for that.” Then she got quiet. “You think that's what I'm looking for?”

I shrugged and took another bite. I swear there is nothing as good as that sauce with the onions and the steamed bun.

Some sauce dribbled down on her blouse and she tried to wipe it off. It was a stain that would last, but she didn't seem to mind.

“Why don't we talk about you?” she said. “You're acting like I'm this hard-to-please woman. I'm not.”

“I can tell by the company you keep.”

She looked hurt.

“I meant me. I just think you deserve more, that's all. More than I can give.”

“Why do you sell yourself so short, Billy? You've got a lot more to give than most men combined.”

“You think so?”

“First off, you're handsome as the devil.”

I took a pen from my shirt pocket and put a napkin on my knee. “Let me write this down. Sounds like it's gonna be good.”

“You only have a few fears, going out in public being one. You love the Lord. You have integrity. You pay your bills on time, as far as I can tell. You loved your mother. And you know how to treat a girl. How did you know I liked these hot dogs so much?”

“I didn't; I just hoped you did.”

“Now, you don't take such good care of yourself as far as the diabetes goes, and that could prove costly down the road. That would be the only thing I'd change right off.”

“Now you're sounding like my mother.” I took a swig of diet root beer and it stung my throat. My blood sugar was rising from the carbs in the bun, but I didn't care. “Would you like spending more time with me?”

“What does that mean?” Callie said.

“You know, going out and doing things together from time to time.”

“Oh. I thought you meant something else. Sure. We should spend time getting to know each other better, but the jury is in as far as I'm concerned.”

“About what?”

“About you.”

“And what's the verdict?”

She just stared at me and smiled, and I focused on her left eye. There was something there that warmed me deep down, and I knew things were going to move fast from there.

I drove us through downtown and along the riverfront. We stopped at a Dairy Queen and sat on a bench and ate a banana split together.

“Aren't you going to dose for that?” she said.

I smiled at her and pulled out a needle. “You're not going to get squeamish on me, are you?”

She rolled her eyes. “I grew up on a farm, Billy. You can't do one thing that would surprise me.”

I gave myself the shot through my pant leg and then ate half the banana split. She held her own with that plastic spoon and I halfway wished we'd have gotten two of them. I could count on one hand the number of times I had been to the riverfront like this. And I'd never been there to just sit and talk with somebody. I got a chill all over that could have been mistaken for the ice cream, but I knew it wasn't.

“Callie, I've always been able to look at some piece of equipment and figure out how it works. How to follow the signal path. If I can see a thing, I can build it or install it. A vision. But then I look at you and me and I don't have any idea how two people who are older would ever make it.”

“You think you're too set in your ways?”

“I think I'm a weird buzzard, yeah. I work at my own house every day. Only time I go out is to take a walk or go to the store.”

“You think I don't know that?”

“I think you don't know what you're getting into.”

“Both of us are weird buzzards, Billy. You don't live alone this long and not get into some comfortable ruts. But that doesn't mean it can't work. Just means you can't see it.”

That made a lot of sense. But what didn't was the rejection I was about to get.

24

I will not bore you with the details of what I did at the cabin and in the surrounding countryside the night of Callie's rescue. It is best left to your imagination. Suffice it to say that the forces of hell itself were arrayed against Billy and Callie, and it was invigorating to finally
do
something that aided them. That is the nature of evil—to inflict suffering on the innocent, to imprison and destroy. But the good news is that they don't have half the power they believe they possess. Greater is the One we serve, praise His name forever, than the enemy who seeks to kill and steal and destroy.

If Billy could have seen what he was up against in that lonely valley of despair, if the heavens could have scrolled back and his eyes been opened to the angelic realm, he would not have been able to achieve the task. In fact, at every step he was mocked and scorned by those lined against him, but he continued, step after agonizing step, as he climbed into that hellish cavern.

I've often wondered why the Almighty set things up this way, the humans unable to witness what we can clearly see. Perhaps this is why it is written that His ways are not their ways. He gives truth and at the same time protects and shields them from what they clearly cannot process. That is the wisdom of God, to allow them enough information to act but not enough to deter them out of abject fear. The human experiment is a process of one step that leads to other steps. You cannot rush them into the future or pull them from the past too quickly.

I do not pretend to understand the ways of the Maker or what He is attempting to achieve with the continual wooing and drawing. But the small advances of the Kingdom, one heart, one mind at a time, are how the great Creator works. In this way, the Kingdom is not a wave on the seashore but a holy structure that brick by brick advances in praise of the One who is building it. On the one hand it seems contrary to the nature of a holy God to allow sinful creatures into this divine plan, but on another wholly different plane, it is pure genius to thwart the enemy with such weakness.

As I did battle with wickedness and those intent on ending Billy's life, I was also able to witness evil on the human plane, in the heart of the man called Clay. Clearly here was one who had lost himself to his lusts, his avarice, and what had become an insatiable need for control. In his darkened and confused mind, he began pursuit of what he believed would satisfy, abandoning himself to the vile and degrading things for which he longed.

Clay had disappeared from the face of the earth after that night. Though a massive hunt was launched, all it turned up was his diesel truck parked by a large bridge that spanned the Ohio River. Conjecture was that he had ended his life and that the waters of the river carried the only clues to his rampage.

Sheriff Preston spoke to Billy later about Clay and told him it was best to play it safe until they found his body. “You don't want that fellow coming back and looking for you.”

But Clay didn't return. The discovery of three bodies in various forms of decomposition around the shack was, of course, grisly, and there were many attempts to sensationalize. Fortunately for Callie, her identity was kept covered and she avoided the glaring spotlight.

I did not concern myself with these stories; rather, I remained focused on the task of protecting and observing my charge. And while I was still interested in the things of the past and how they had affected Billy, I came to the decision that I should abandon my intense search for it, as it seemed to be clouding my view of his life. Instead I watched the blossoming of the relationship between Billy and Callie. What had been cradled and stored away in Billy's heart began to emerge. On the day Callie returned from the hospital, Billy met her and her parents at the trailer and showed them a space that had been cleaned immaculately, again, after Billy traded spots to the local Merry Maids. Callie was beside herself at the attention. After their first “date,” Callie joined him for dinner on many evenings. Billy would actually order flowers, having traded several sixty-second spots for bouquets of roses and lilies and chamomile from the local florist.

But as time continued and Billy and Callie became used to the new relationship, Callie struggled. Instead of gratefulness at the new life she and Billy had begun, the enfolding of hearts, she exhibited angst toward him. Even when Billy proposed marriage—over the airwaves during a dedication on the morning program—there was a tinge of uncertainty to her acceptance. Of course those who listened and the people at their church were overjoyed at the prospects, but Callie pondered something deeper. A casual observer would say that it was a by-product of the abuse she received or the regret she had for allowing herself to be taken in by such evil. But there seemed to be more. She was concerned more about Billy and his life than about her own.