Almost Like Being in Love (41 page)

“Go ahead.” The two words were a mere whisper.

“I like you, Jessica. You challenged me and forced me to look at my life and how I was living it. And you encouraged me to change it. You've always intrigued me. Being with you . . . was a glimpse of something I've always wanted. I want to get to know you better.”

“Become friends, you mean?”

“Aren't we already friends?”

“Yes.”

“Then we start here. See what God has for us. I hope and pray it's more. A whole lot more. Maybe even pizza and a ring down the road.” He inhaled a deep breath that shifted his shoulders. “What do you think?”

Jessica slipped her hand into his. “You need to understand a couple of things about me.”

“I'm listening.”

“I'm a two-for-one deal. It's me and Scotty.”

“Even better. Anything else?”

A smile curved Jessica's lips, causing Alex to wish he had the freedom to kiss her. “And my favorite pizza is meatlovers—the more meat and cheese the better.”

Alex's laugh started low and then spread out between them. “See? I knew we were going to get along just fine, Jessica Thompson. And now that we've got that settled, how about we go home and spend the rest of the evening together—you, me, and Scotty?”

“Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate my birthday.”

I
f she kept up these daily trips to Henderson Beach, Caron might as well rent a campsite and pitch a tent. At least then she wouldn't have to leave every evening to return to her quiet, dark house.

Tonight's sunset was particularly stunning, with the sky deepening from blue to purple, the clouds' edges rimmed with a deep pink hue. The sun was a blur of gold that seemed to spill from the sky over the dark edge of the ocean.

Caron had spent hours the last several weeks walking the shore. Praying, listening for an answer to her questions about her future. Did she continue working as a Realtor, ignoring her feelings? Did she pursue home staging? At times she even practiced a halting, stumbling, all-out-there proposal for Kade Webster.

I love you.

I was wrong, wrong, wrong to walk away from you.

Forgive me.

Marry me. Please.

And she returned home every night no more certain that she should call Kade, much less ask him to marry her.

Kade was worth the risk, yes.

But after talking to Vanessa, she'd promised herself that she'd ask God what she should do. And for all her asking, the only impression she'd gotten was to wait.

Wait.

But for what? And for how long?

She refused to abandon hope that God was doing something even when she saw no evidence of it yet. She had to believe he would give her another chance with Kade, or else take away her longing for him. What had Vanessa said when they talked last week?

“God's love for you is perfect, Caron—and unconditional. It may take you a while to realize you don't have to do something—be someone—for God to love you.”

Fine. For one more day, she would refuse to give in to the fear that she was disappointing God. Yes, she'd chosen wrong not once, but twice. But she had to believe that God loved her in the midst of all this waiting . . . doubting . . . struggling to trust him. And that he would give her the opportunity to finally make the right choice.

And if she never had an opportunity with Kade again, well . . . then God still loved her and he would help her accept that. Somehow.

A gentle breeze ruffled her hair, offering just the hint of relief against the mid-August heat. The sand, drenched with the motion of the waves, was still warm beneath her feet. Seagulls wheeled overhead and then moved on, their plaintive, high-pitched cries an echo of her own prayers.

She found her breathing matching the rhythm of the waves, the sun falling behind her as she headed back toward the parking area.

And then she stopped . . . her breath hitching . . . resisting the urge to rub her eyes, blink, and rub her eyes again. The man
walking toward her was no longing-of-her-heart mirage. Kade Webster's determined stride caused the water to splash up behind him, the setting sun seeming to cast his form in a yellow haze.

Why was he here? What should she do? Stand here, staring, and wait? No. No more waiting. Kade had come this far—all the way from Colorado. The sand shifted beneath her feet as she closed the space between them, halting with mere inches separating them.

Kade's expression was hidden behind a pair of silver-rimmed sunglasses—but then again, her own expression was veiled behind sunglasses, too.

She removed them, slipping them into the side pocket of her cotton dress, even as she shaded her eyes from the remaining sunlight. Honesty and transparency were uncomfortable in more ways than one.

Someone had to speak first. It was only right she break the silence.

But Kade spoke before her, the sound of his voice as potent as a caress. “I was looking for you.”

“How'd you find me?”

“I went to your house straight from the airport. You weren't home—obviously. So then I drove by your parents'. Your mother told me that you've been spending time here.”

She couldn't believe he'd been brave enough to go visit her parents alone.

“I come here every day to think.”

“What have you been thinking about?”

Here was her chance. To show Kade how much she loved him by being bold . . . confessing everything, sharing everything she'd learned. But how did she start? It was as if all her words had been swept out into the Gulf.

She fingered the collar of her dress. “You.”

Kade reached for her hand, twining their fingers together, his touch causing her to realize how much she'd missed him all the more. “Funny thing, Miss Hollister. I've been thinking about you, too.”

“You have?”

“Constantly. Mitch says I'm useless at work. And Lacey told me to get myself to Florida and fix things between us—or else.”

“Kade—what happened between us—what went wrong both the first time and the second time, it wasn't your fault.” Caron dropped her sandals to the sand, taking his other hand in hers.

“Caron—”

“No. You have to let me tell you that I'm sorry—terribly sorry—for choosing my dad over you two years ago.”

“Caron, I didn't come here to hash that all out again—”

“Please, Kade.” She touched his arm, his skin warm beneath her fingertips. “I need to say this. All of this.”

He pulled her closer. “It's not necessary.”

“For me it is.” She resisted the urge to rest in his arms. She had to say what was in her heart. “I've realized a lot of things about myself these past couple of months. How I wasted a lot of years wanting my dad's approval more than anything else. Wanting my dad to love me, to be proud of me. But I used my father's approval like some sort of measuring stick. Was I good enough or not? And it twisted my life out of shape. I lost you, the man I loved, because I wanted my father's approval.”

“That's all I need to hear.”

As Kade tried to pull her into his arms, Caron braced her hand against his chest. “What? I haven't said I'm sorry yet.”

“Yes, you did. And you said you love me. You want to know why I came looking for you? Because I've never stopped loving you, Caron Hollister. I let you walk away the first time . . . and
then I almost let you walk away from me again. But I'm here because I couldn't make that mistake again.”

Her hands gripped his shoulders as he kissed her, their lips flavored with salt. He caressed the sides of her neck with his thumbs, and then curved one hand against the back of her head, threading his fingers through her wind-tossed hair. There was no need to rush this moment, and she didn't want him to.

After a moment, Caron pulled back from his embrace. “I'm sorry, Kade—”

He pressed his fingertips against her lips. “No more apologies. I forgive you. Kiss me again and then—” He lowered his voice as he pressed a soft kiss just below her ear.

“This didn't go the way I planned.”

“I beg your pardon?” Kade's question held a note of barely contained laughter. “You had something else planned for us? Background music, perhaps? A prepared script?”

“Oh, stop. I'm not complaining . . . not really.”

“Well, I'm relieved to hear that.”

“It's just that everyone told me—”

“Everyone?”

“Margo, to be specific. Anyway, she told me that I needed to prove to you how much I loved you since I left you the first time without any explanation . . .”

“And just how were you going to prove your love for me?” Kade's boyish grin appeared. “Fight a duel? Slay a dragon?”

“Now you're being absurd.” Caron tried to push her way out of Kade's embrace.

“Oh, no you don't. Now that I've got you right where I want you, you're not going anywhere.” Kade's arms tightened around her. “I've never had a woman prove her love for me before. Aren't you going to tell me what you were going to do?”

“I was going to—” Caron's
voice dropped to a whisper. “—ask you to marry me.”

“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I have certain plans of my own—” Kade released her and dropped to one knee on the sand. “—and I intend to ask you first.”

“What . . . what are you doing?”

“I told you—I'm proposing. Give me a minute.” Kade worked something loose from the pocket of his white cotton shirt. “This always goes more smoothly in those romance movies you like to watch.”

“Kade—”

“Hush. Like I said, you missed your opportunity.” The laughter faded from his eyes as he took her hand again and pressed a kiss near her wrist. While looking up at her, he held out a ring, the diamond glinting in the sunlight. He then slipped the ring halfway on her finger. “Caron Hollister, will you marry me?”

“Yes. And yes. And yes.” Her hand trembled as he slid the ring in place on her finger, the white-gold band adorned with a heart-shaped diamond.

“You told me once that the man who loved you would know the kind of engagement ring you'd want.” Huskiness tinged Kade's words as he rose to his feet again, slipping his arms around her. “I thank God that you love me. That I have the chance to love you for always—and this ring symbolizes the love I have for you.”

Caron rested her hand against his chest. “It's beautiful . . . perfect.”

“So you're satisfied, then?”

“More than satisfied.” She hoped the love she saw lighting Kade's eyes was reflected in her own. “And how I feel right now has nothing to do with this ring—perfect as it is—and everything to do with you.”

As Kade bent his head to kiss her, a soft
thank you
whispered from her lips.

He paused, a slight smile twisting his lips. “What are you thanking me for?”

“I wasn't thanking you—I was thanking God for bringing you back to me . . . for answering my prayers . . . for all of this . . .”

“I'm thankful for all that, too—and that I can kiss you again.”

“Anytime you want to, Mr. Webster.”

Her words produced Kade's grin again. “I like the sound of that.”

F
or the first time in her life, Caron was going to have an honest conversation with her father.

Of course, it might destroy whatever tenuous relationship there was left between them . . . but then again, maybe honesty would be the beginning of something better. Something real.

Kade refused to let go of her hand. “Are you sure I can't go with you?”

“Positive.” She stepped into the shelter of his embrace, even though she knew her mother was watching them. “I need to do this on my own.”

“But this is our decision—”

She rested her hand against his chest, his heart beating steady and strong beneath her palm. “Yes, it is. But my dad needs to hear it from me first. Just me. You not going in there with me isn't about you being a coward. It's about me being brave.”