Along the River (4 page)

DR. ALLEN
: You have been overheard calling out the names of Ah Zhao and Gege quite frequently. Who are they?

CC/MEI
LAN
: Gege is my older brother. He and Ah Zhao are best friends. Ah Zhao is the greatest artist in the world. I need to read him the poem I’m writing. It’s about a marble snail he carved for me.

DR. ALLEN
: Is Ah Zhao a man?

CC/MEI
LAN
: He’s a seventeen-year-old boy.

DR. ALLEN
: Tell me about him. Start from the beginning.

CC/MEI
LAN
(irritably): I’m not here to report on Ah Zhao.

DR. ALLEN
: Why are you here, then?

CC/MEI
LAN
: To pray.

DR. ALLEN
: Pray for what?

CC/MEI
LAN
: Does one always have to pray for something? Prayer is more than just a request for favors. It’s a form of communication.

DR. ALLEN
: Communication with whom?

CC/MEI
LAN
: With the dead.

DR. ALLEN
: Is Ah Zhao dead?

CC/MEI
LAN
: I don’t know.… I mean, yes and no.

DR. ALLEN
: Explain yourself.

CC/MEI
LAN
: The things that Ah Zhao could not say to me when he was alive, he can now tell me, if he is indeed dead.

DR. ALLEN
: How can he tell you if he’s dead?

CC/MEI
LAN
: He tells me through my prayers. A prayer is not just a string of words, or the sound of a murmuring voice. Communicating with the dead goes far beyond that.

DR. ALLEN
: What
is
a prayer, then?

CC/MEI
LAN
: A prayer is the meeting of two minds in a moment that goes beyond time. It may never have happened in real life, but it’s always happening.

DR. ALLEN
: And how old are you, Mei Lan?

CC/MEI
LAN
: I was born thirteen years ago, on the seventh day of the fifth moon of the Sixth Year of the reign of Emperor Zhezong (
AD
1091), the Year of the Goat.

DR. ALLEN
: And what can you tell me about where you live, Mei Lan?

CC/MEI
LAN
: I live with my parents and Gege (Older Brother) in a mansion with a sloping tiled roof in Bian Liang
the capital city of China. Our home has three shaded courtyards as well as a garden full of beautiful rocks and rare plants.

DR. ALLEN
: Tell me more about your family.

CC/MEI
LAN
: My
baba
(father) used to be Mayor of Dongwu in Shandong Province but is now chief assistant to Commissioner Ye Di
. He is a very important and busy man.

Unlike other rich men, Baba has just one wife, my stepmother, whom I call Niang
(Mother). Gege and I are their only children. Our real mother died giving birth to me, and Baba married Niang one year later. Niang is famous for her beauty, but, for as long as I can remember, she has been an invalid suffering from some nameless malady. She spends her time in her room applying makeup to her face, arranging her hair or staring at herself in the glass. Her wardrobe is full of garments made of expensive fabrics, such as silk and imported wool, and her hair is always done in an elaborate style. Some of her hairdos are more than ten
cun
(about ten inches) tall, adorned with jeweled pins and tiny jade combs. Her bathroom is full of pots of powders and rouges, tweezers to remove eyebrow hairs, fine combs and tiny scissors.

Besides having beautiful eyes, fair skin and an alluring figure, Niang has small bound feet barely three inches long. Baba calls them his perfect golden lotuses. She takes tiny steps and she sways in a really graceful way when she walks. She has more than two hundred pairs of shoes, which she displays on a special shelf in her room. The shoes are made of silk and come in all the colors of the rainbow, with matching cloth soles. Many are embroidered with elaborate pictures of birds, flowers and leaves. She changes her shoes three or four times a day and wears shoes even when she sleeps at night.

Legend has it that swarms of matchmakers approached her parents when Niang was a young girl. At that time, foot-binding was not as popular as it is today, and Niang was one of the very few marriageable young girls who had small feet. The longer my
lao lao
(maternal grandmother) held out, the more unbelievable the offers that came in. Nobody was good enough. It was rumoured that the Crown Prince himself had expressed interest. Unfortunately, he already had a main (big) wife, but he offered to take Niang into his Imperial Palace as one of his little wives or concubines. This Lao Lao refused to allow. But if Niang had married the Crown Prince, Lao Lao could have become the mother-in-law of a future emperor!

“The years rolled by and suddenly Lao Lao realized that Niang was twenty-five. Most girls are married by the time they are fifteen, and although Niang was still beautiful, people had stopped asking to marry her. Then one day, Lao Lao heard rumours that Baba’s wife, my birth mother, had suddenly passed away. Besides having no wife, Baba had the added advantage of not having even a single concubine. This was highly unusual for a man in his position but would obviously make life easier for the new woman in Baba’s life, whoever she might be. Although Baba was not an Imperial Prince, he came from a good family and was a Han Lin
scholar. The very next day, Lao Lao summoned the best matchmaker in the capital city to arrange the marriage.

According to my
nai ma
, they had a lavish wedding with more than five hundred guests. From the beginning of the marriage, Niang had very little energy and spent most of her time in bed. At first, everyone thought she was pregnant. Months and years went by, but no baby appeared. Gradually, it was accepted that Niang suffers from some sort of mysterious illness that nobody talks about.

Niang and I were both born in the Year of the Goat, two cycles or twenty-four years apart, but she seldom acknowledges my presence when we are in the same room. I’m simply not important to her. Unlike her, I’m not beautiful. Unlike Gege, I’m not a boy. Whenever we are alone, she often says and does cruel things to me. At best, she treats me like part of the furniture. It’s been like this for nearly as long as I can remember.

DR. ALLEN
: So who looked after you if your
niang
was always ill?

CC/MEI
LAN
: I was looked after by Nai Ma, who shares my room and has been with me for as long as I can remember. Baba once told me that Nai Ma had been hired by my own mama, before she died. Nai Ma is a peasant woman from the countryside. She has large feet, buckteeth and a pockmarked face, but she works hard. Niang says she is ugly, but Nai Ma and I love each other. Perhaps it’s because I’m not beautiful either—I have a foot that’s all twisted and I can’t move very gracefully.

Although Nai Ma can hardly read, she was the one who persuaded Baba to include me when Baba hired Teacher Lai to be Gege’s private tutor. It was because of Nai Ma that I learned to read and write from an early age.