Alpha On the Run: A BBW Wolf Shifter Paranormal Romance (5 page)

She kept wanting to look over her shoulder to watch Joshua where he lay sprawled across the couch. She skimmed the email instead. She tried to think of what she was planning to write to her father about before Joshua showed up. The discovery in the cave, of course. The birds she'd seen in the month she'd been at the cabin already. The books she was reading – they both liked mysteries.

The day passed uneventfully. Anna felt tension crackling between them every time they touched. She swore that Joshua was brushing up against her intentionally when they made lunch together. He kept finding excuses to get into the drawers in front of her. Then again, she was doing the same thing. She couldn't complain. She didn't
want
to complain.

Joshua got up after lunch to take a look around the cabin. He reported back after a few hours and said there was no sign of his packmates. Apart from that it was impossible to tell that there was someone hunting him, or that any day Anna's family cabin might turn into the scene of murder.

But that night, the floating feeling Anna had been cushioned by came crashing down.

She woke up with a shout from nightmares, feeling the ghost of teeth closing around her arm, her neck. She stumbled upright from the loft, hit her head against the ceiling, and shouted again.

There was a thud from the ground floor.

“Anna?” Joshua called.

“I'm fine!” she called back, hating how hysterical her voice sounded. She closed her eyes and saw her father, ripped apart by wolves, then her baby brother trying to run and losing ground.

It was just a dream. Her family was safe and hundreds of miles away. The feeling of teeth in her own skin was harder to dismiss. That threat was real.

“What's wrong?” Joshua asked.

“Just a nightmare,” she said, shivering.

“Want me to come up?” he asked. She squinted and saw his shape moving towards the ladder.

“No, let me come down – your leg,” she said.

She almost went to wrap a sheet around herself to cover her flimsy night dress, but then thought, fuck it. Climbing the ladder while she was shivering would be hard enough. She'd put on her one lacy night dress instead of a T shirt with the thought of Joshua seeing it at breakfast. There was no point hiding.

She got down and went to Joshua in the dark, hugging him hard as soon as she got to him. He ran fingers through her hair, and she pressed into his chest, relieved by his presence.

“What did you dream?” he asked.

“Your pack,” she mumbled. “Got my family. And me.”

At those words, she could practically feel his guilt – the beginnings of a mate bond? Did it even work like that? Or just what she knew about him?

“Let me turn on the lights,” she said, but didn't move from his arms.

After a moment Joshua said, “Are you going to go back to bed?”             

She considered it, but the nightmare still had claws around her, and the thought was terrifying. “Could I sleep with you?”

“Sure,” Joshua said. She felt him smiling against her hair.

She started to the bedroom, and then stopped a few feet away. “Your crutches? Did you hurt your leg coming after me?”

“No, no, it's fine.” His voice was drawing closer, and she went on into the bedroom. “Wolves heal fast. I mentioned that, right? The infection and the stuff stuck in it kept it from closing, but I can put weight on it now. It'll be as good as new in a week at most.”

“Oh! Good.” She was glad he would be healed soon. She did remember him mentioning it now, back when he told her about the mate bond. She thought about healing that fast with a little rush of excitement. No more months trapped in casts, maybe no more stitches even.

Anna sat down on the bed and waited until Joshua was back to slide under the covers. She tucked herself against his chest shortly. His arm pulled around her waist comfortingly. His shoulders were broader than hers; she liked that about him. Most of the time, she felt big and clumsy next to the men she dated, but Joshua was built like a football player.

She still didn't want to sleep. “What do you do for fun?” she asked. She didn't want more talk about violence and death.

“Hmm?” he said, stroking small circles on her stomach.

“You must have had a life before all this happened to you. And you can't run around doing crime twenty-four seven. What do you like to do?”

“Well, I read a lot in the military, and with Stephen. You always have to be ready to go when you're in the field, but you end up waiting for hours anyway. So a lot of soldiers read. There was a big trade in mass market paperbacks when I was in Iraq. My little sister would send them to me – I'd write and tell her the kind of book I wanted and she'd go looking for a bunch – and then I'd trade them to other people when I was done.”

“What kind of book?”

“Mysteries, action thrillers, that kind of thing. I used to read fantasy epics, too. I think I've read a couple of the books on your shelf – the JD Robb ones, and that Tony Hillerman novel.”

“Just don't spoil the endings on the last couple JD Robb books,” she said. “I brought those with me to read this summer. The Hillerman's an old favorite, though. Most of my books are back at my apartment at school. I'm subletting it while I'm here.”

“I'm glad we like the same books,” he said into her hair. “I had to get rid of most of my collection.”

“Hopefully you can check out mine soon.” She closed her eyes. His hand moved to her hip. His breath tickled the back of her neck, stirring her curls. “I've been a total book worm since I was a little kid. The kids on the playground would make fun of me for being fat, so I'd go hide on the bench next to the teacher and read at recess.”

“That's horrible,” Joshua said, startled. “How old were you?”

“Oh, it was just kid stuff.” She'd cried a lot of tears over it at the time, but it was silly to be worked up over it years later. “You know how cruel they are to ugly girls.”

“You're beautiful,” he said. He hugged her against him. “Anna, don't repeat those things to yourself.”

“Is that you talking or the metaphysical wolf bond?” she asked with a self-deprecating laugh. “It's over now, Joshua.”

“Fine. But I really do think you're beautiful,” he said. “And it's not just that you're my mate. I want to pick you up out of this bed, put you against the wall, and show you how beautiful I think you are. And soon, I will.”

She beamed into the darkness and shivered a little. Maybe she'd found a good one after all. “Okay, I'm going to hold you to that.”
              “Deal.” He drew back for a moment, and then kissed her hair at the top of her head.

“Deal,” she agreed, snuggling into his chest again.

When she went back to sleep, she didn't have nightmares. Instead, she dreamed of walking through the forest and picking flowers to stuff them into her backpack and pockets. She sang the songs her mother taught her when she was a little girl. She knew she was being followed. Eyes trailed her through the forest and she sometimes heard a canine bark or whine. Still, she didn't feel uneasy or nervous. She knew the wolf was watching out for her in the forest. She was safe.

Anna woke up cradled in Joshua's arms. She had twisted in her sleep to face him. Her head was resting against his shoulder and his breathing blew her hair into her face.

She moved her head away with a smile. The movement must have disturbed him; he mumbled and shifted to tangle his legs with hers.

Even closer to his body, she noticed something else. He was definitely, well, excited to be there.

Probably just morning wood. Still, she decided to tease him about it when he woke up. She remembered what he'd said last night with a flush, and wondered whether he would really follow through on that promise.

Did she want him to? Or should she get up in the morning, give him one of her spare backpacks and supplies, and bid him goodbye? There was danger. That danger might be made worse if he stayed and attached her permanently to his world.

She could never just abandon someone in that kind of danger, could she? Or was she just making excuses because she wanted
him
?

Did she want the permanence of that decision?

She searched herself and found that all doubt had gone in the night, while she slept in his arms. She wanted him, and she wanted him to stay. He was perfect, and in the little ways she'd wondered about too. Here was a man who was attracted to her instead of looking past her body, a man who loved her cooking, a man who liked the same books as her. She hoped he would even get along with her little brother.

She didn't want to reject him for his past. She wouldn't have pushed away her family members for the things they'd seen and done. He
was
family already, her mate. As good as a spouse.

“Anna?” Joshua asked, snuggling closer into her.

“Hey.” She turned back to look at him. “Morning.”

“Morning.” His eyes fluttered open and he smiled back lazily. The gold in his eyes flashed and reflected the sunlight. “What are you thinking?”

“I'm thinking that I want you to stay,” Anna said.

His hand came up and cupped her hip, stroking her skin. She settled her own on top of it. She felt the fine bones of his hand, and as she tangled her fingers in his, the calluses on his skin.

“Good,” he said firmly. “Because I want to stay.”

Then he kissed her.

She closed her eyes and pressed deeply into his body as she opened her mouth to him. He swept into her passionately. His hand tight on her hip made a steady counterpoint to the kiss.

They separated finally. Anna was breathing hard.

Joshua grinned. “So do I have your answer?” he asked.

“I think so. Why am I so sure? I feel like you're already family, like I already
know
you'll be here forever.”

“The bond.” Joshua propped himself up on his elbows and frowned. “I think it might be starting to connect already.”

“That fast?” Anna asked, wide eyed.

Joshua shook his head. “I really don't know much about this. I've heard it usually takes longer. I guess Stephen might have wanted us to think it was impossible to mate before he noticed us together.”

“So they're already going to know, if they see me?” Anna asked.

“Looks like it,” Joshua said.

“Is there anything we can do?”

“I don't think so.”

She knew the terror would be back when she stopped to think about this, but she didn't have to stop and think yet. She wanted to hold it back as long as she could. “Then there's nothing we can do. For now, do you still want to put me up against the wall?” she asked.

Joshua leaned forward to kiss her again, hard. She sunk into the kiss. “I think I'd rather stay in bed,” he growled into her ear, and moved on top of her.

She stared up at him, happy but a little intimidated by his looks. He had slept in his boxers and nothing else. She loved the way the light played across the tight muscles in his chest and stomach. She brought her eyes up to his face. He was staring back at her with an intense hunger she almost couldn't believe.

“What do you see when you look at me?” Anna asked.

“I see you.” He reached down to push up her night dress.

“What do I look like?”

“You look like a beautiful, incredibly fucking sexy woman lying in bed, in almost nothing. And she's staring at me like she wants me to tear her panties off. It's a real turn on.” He pushed the dress up to her breasts, then pulled one thumb under her panties. “Can I tear them off?”

There was a compliment. She was sure her face was completely flushed right now. “Can you do it without pinching me?”

“Yeah.” Joshua stroked his fingers over the thin cloth between her legs, making her shiver. He found the seam in the center, grabbed, and pulled.

She tensed at the sound of the ripping fabric. The cloth came away cleanly. Joshua stroked a finger between her lower lips. Anna clenched her hands on the sheets. She wasn't sure when she had grabbed them.

“Good?” He petted up to her clit and circled it. She shivered and moaned, unable to answer for a moment, before nodding hard.

“Good,” he repeated, in a tone so pleased with himself she wasn't sure whether she wanted to yell “Fuck me!” or burst out laughing.

She settled with the hopefully more dignified, “You haven't finished tearing my panties off.”

“Oh, haven't I?” he asked. With two short rips, Anna's panties were reduced to two thin triangles of fabric, which he dropped off the bed. “Sit up so I can take your dress off?”
              “Just don't rip that up, too.” She shifted up and started to take it off herself.

He stopped her with his hands on her arms. Then he lifted it up, tossing it over the bed as well. “I wanted to do that,” he said happily, and pushed her back down.

His lips were at her mouth, then her neck, then her breasts. Anna lay back and let him elicit moans and whimpers. One of his hands gripped at her hair while the other found the place between her legs again.