Alphas in the Wild (6 page)

“Are there woodstoves for any of the tents?”

Jake shook his head again.

“Okay.” She pinched the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger, trying to decide the best course of action. “There are eleven of you and five or six tents, so you’ve been sleeping two together?”

“Basically.”

She knew what that meant. The dopers were all in one tent. “These tents will sleep ten. We’ll put six in one and seven in another. We need warmth.”

“What if the others don’t come back?”

“Then whoever’s left will bunk down in here.” She thought about her satellite phone and wondered if she should call in an emergency. Moira looked at her watch. Three o’clock. “If the storm’s still kicking ass an hour from now and the rest of the crew’s not back, I’ll call headquarters.”

Tim came forward bundled in a puffy jacket, wool hat, and thick overpants. Gloves covered his hands. Some of the color had come back into his face. He sank into one of the camp chairs and motioned toward an iso-butane cook stove. “Mind if I heat some water?”

“Probably a good idea.” She was ashamed she hadn’t thought of it first. Warm clothes and hot liquids were the first line of defense against cold.

“Jake, go see what happened to Mitch. I’ll make hot water for tea and coffee.”

“Heh. Didn’t think he’d come back.” Jake smirked.

“What did you think he’d do?” Alarmed, she stared at Jake’s bearded face.

“Oh, probably take one of the mules and head up and over Baxter. With his stash.”

“What? He can’t do that. Those mules are federal property. And the storm could kill both of them.” She sprang for the tent door, but Jake beat her to it.

“You stay here. I’ll go look. No point both of us getting lost out there.”

Tim had located the gallon water jugs and a pot. The water he’d put on the stove was already steaming. “There enough air in here to support this?” He pointed at the iso-butane burner.

“Probably not. Stove vent hole’s not big enough even if it were open. Here.” She tacked the tent’s door open on a hook.

“That water’s all going to freeze.”

“True, but we can melt snow.”

A raven flew into the tent, followed by another. Tim jumped to his feet, ducking as one flew right at him, latched its talons into his shoulder, and started pecking at his head. Moira grabbed the closest thing she could find. She swung the shovel hard at the bird and felt gratified when it connected. A mass of black feathers fell to the tent floor where the raven twitched spasmodically.

“What the fuck?” Tim sputtered.

What the fuck, indeed. I thought they wanted me.

Breath rattled in her throat. Fear threatened to paralyze her. She remembered how insanely jealous Ryan could be, growling at any man who so much as told her good morning.

“Oomph!” Tim shook himself from stem to stern. “Glad you got the bird, but you nearly took my head out along with it.”

“Sorry if I scared you. Remember? I used to play semipro softball. You weren’t in any danger.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “I’d actually forgotten that little tidbit. Did you kill it?”

“Don’t know. Probably not, since it’s moving,” she answered, still brandishing the shovel. The other raven kept its distance.

Tim stared at her through narrowed eyes. “That’s what you were yelling about up on the trail. Those wounds on your face look like beak marks. And that’s what you used your gun for. You shot at them so they’d leave you alone.”

“Smart man.” She winced at the rancor in her tone. “Shit. I am so sorry I got you into this. Look, I’ll explain later, but we’ve got to shoo that other bird out of here.” She took off for the back of the tent, using her arms and the shovel to herd the bird forward.

“Moira, he’ll leave on his own.” Tim’s voice was gentle, as if he thought she’d lost her mind. He picked up the still-twitching raven and chucked it out the door.

“Normal birds would,” she said through gritted teeth. “But these aren’t normal. Now help me before any more get in here.”

As if responding to an invitation, two more flew inside.

“Grab your stuff,” she panted. Ice chips skittered down her spine.

“What? Why?”

“We’ve got to go to one of the other tents. We’ll never get them out of here.”

“That’s ridiculous. Of course we will.”

For just a moment, she thought he was going to refuse. She didn’t know what she’d do then, but Tim got his pack and the rest of the small pile of clothes Jake had brought for him. He tucked his staff under one arm and turned off the stove. Clapping a lid on the hot water, he said, “Okay. Ready.”

She thought about shutting the tent door, but she didn’t want to lock the birds inside the main tent. There were things they’d need in there. Besides, Moira was pretty sure the ravens would leave as soon as she was gone, so long as the door was open. Pack on her back and gun belt in hand, she squinted against the blizzard in progress and led the way to the next tent.

“The trick,” she yelled to make herself heard over the wind, “will be to get us inside without any birds.”

“That should be easy.” Hot breath brushed against her cheek and she realized he’d placed his mouth right next to the side of her head. A shiver ran up her back that didn’t have anything to do with being afraid. “They didn’t follow us. Open the door. My hands are full.”

She fumbled with the latch, her gloved fingers clumsy. Moira was careful not to open the door very far. As soon as the opening was wide enough, they slid inside. She slammed the canvas in place, hooking it against wind and birds. Tim set the things in his arms down. He took a hefty swig of warm water from the cook pot and walked over to her, laying gentle hands on her shoulders. “Do you want to tell me what this is all about?”

“Not really.”

He nodded. “Yes, but I think you have to.” He looked around the tent, twin to the one they’d just vacated. “We may end up the only two people here, since it doesn’t appear Jake’s coming back.”

Anxiety—and guilt—clanged like discordant notes. “I—uh—I ought to go look for both of them.”

“In that?” He gestured toward the door. “You couldn’t find your own arm out there, let alone two potheads who want to be left alone with their dope.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She moved away from him and set her pack down, but kept hold of her gun. Shooting the birds was an option, but killing wildlife went against the grain. She respected animals. As a ranger, she was sworn to protect them. Besides her large bore revolver would put major holes in the tent. She might even kill Mitch or Jake inadvertently if they showed up at the wrong time.

Tim settled himself on a canvas stool. “Grab a seat—” he pulled up another one and pointed to it “—and tell me why those birds attacked us.”

“It’s a long story—”

“Just hit the high points.” He sounded deadly serious. When she didn’t move toward the other stool, he stood, went to her, and pulled her into his arms. He kneaded the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders. “You’re shaking. Whatever this is,
mo ghrá
, we can get through it.”

Maybe it was the Gaelic endearment, but to her horror, Moira felt a sob rake its way through her chest, followed by another. It had been so long since she’d felt any tenderness from anyone that it undid her. She tried to pull away, ashamed of being weak and needy, but Tim held fast.

“Ssht. Hush. Take a few deep breaths. The birds can’t get to us here.”

Moira raised her head from his shoulder long enough to stare at the canvas-walled tent. She wasn’t certain a raven’s beak couldn’t breach the stout fabric. “Not so sure about that,” she murmured.

“Well, they’re not in here yet. I love you,
mo ghrá
. I always have. Let me help.” His voice was steady, and logic permeated his words. She wanted to believe him, but it had been a long time since she’d had faith in anyone.

“Okay,” she said through a hiccuppy sob. “The short version is my husband—”

He drew back so he could look at her face. “I thought you told me yesterday you’d divorced him.”

“Uh, yes. Well, no, not exactly... At least not quite yet.” Her words trailed off. Heat rose to her cheeks. This tent had two plastic inserts that let at least some light in. Moira wished for the relative darkness of the main supply tent. It would’ve hidden her discomfiture better.

“Which is it?” He tightened his fingers on her shoulders, so her answer was important to him.

“Technically, I’m still married. But I caught him cheating and left a few weeks back. I hired a lawyer, and he’s working on divorce papers.”

Tim cocked his head to one side, still watching her intently, but not saying anything. He had the most incredible eyes. Like a clear sea with gold flecks where sunlight bounced off the surface.

“Ryan is Native American. Shamans for his tribe come from his bloodline. The raven is their totem.”

“I think I’m beginning to understand what this has to do with the birds.” Comprehension smoothed the lines that had creased Tim’s forehead. “Working with Paiutes from the reservation in Bishop taught me how enmeshed Native Americans are in Earth Magic.” He took a deep breath and locked gazes with her. “You think Ryan—or his kin—sicced the birds on you.”

She nodded, her emotional storm under partial control. It meant a lot that Tim was actually listening to her. And taking her seriously.

“You do know how fantastic this would sound—to anyone but a Druid.” The corners of his mouth turned downward.

“Yeah, I do.” She gripped his jacket sleeves. “And I may be absolutely wrong, but I can’t think of any other reason the ravens would’ve attacked first me, then you.” She hesitated. “Ryan’s one jealous son of a bitch.”

“How’d you end up with him?”

Color didn’t merely creep, it flooded her face this time.

Tim nodded curtly, but his eyes looked sad. “Understood. You found someone to sleep with and got sucked in.” He reached a gloved hand and tilted her chin so she had to look at him. “Would you have stayed with me if I’d been free to make love with you? To marry you when we were twenty-two, instead of years downstream.”

“How can you even ask that? Unless I’m missing something, you never asked me to marry you at all.” Her voice shook from remembered hurt. “And you never told me anything. Nothing at all. You occasionally said you loved me, but your actions didn’t back up the words.”

“I didn’t tell you anything because I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t want to. I didn’t do a very good job of explaining myself.” His voice was gentle.

“No, you didn’t.” A wellspring of love shoved against the lid of the vault where she’d stuffed it ten years ago. Moira struggled to keep it contained. There were a lot of things she needed to understand. “We ended up fighting all the time over whatever you were hiding and sort of lost sight of each other.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “It was pretty awful. Especially those last few months. I’d try so hard to just enjoy being with you, but we always ended up blaming each other for things we couldn’t change.”

“You could have done
something
. You just let me walk away.”

He flinched at the accusatory undertone in her words. “I’m not sure what I could have done. I felt stuck. Your grandmother already told you I had to remain celibate. Arch Druids need to keep their magic pure until their investiture.

“The worst part, though, was I was sworn to silence. If I’d broken that oath, I would’ve put every Druid in the world at risk. Not just those in this country. Organized churches are frightened by what we represent—threatened enough to try to wipe us out. That night I left you crying in my apartment, I ran all the way to the priory to beg Liam to reconsider. He wouldn’t. Even though I couldn’t see it then, now I know it was the right decision.” Tim blew out a sad-sounding breath, his gaze never leaving hers.

“If I’d walked out on my Druid vows, I would’ve left a big chunk of myself behind. Niggling things like honor and respect.
Mo ghrá
, the man you loved had principles. I would’ve turned into someone different if I’d rejected them to move our life forward.”

She winced, embarrassed. Tim pretty much nailed it. She’d wanted him to put her before everything else. Demanded it, without a thought as to how it would impact the rest of his life. “Guess I was pretty egocentric. I’m finally starting to understand. Maybe I was too young, but I wish we could’ve had this conversation—”

“Just be grateful to the goddess we’re having it now.” His voice held a husky rasp that had always driven her crazy.

Moira couldn’t tear her gaze away, even if his fingers hadn’t been under her chin. She was losing herself in the miracle of his eyes.

“I never even looked at another woman,
mo ghrá
. No flirting, no dates, nothing. Never could get you out of my mind. I knew I had four years in medical school and another three as a resident to wade through. Got an MPH first, while I was waffling about whether I really wanted to be a doctor, so that added another year. I always told myself I’d find you—”

“Why didn’t you ever call me back? Or answer any of my letters?”

“Because nothing had really changed, and I was too much of a traditionalist to tell the Arch Druid to go to hell. Liam’s been like a dad to me. Not sure if you remember, but the Druids pretty much raised me after my parents were killed. I don’t know if they would’ve done it if I hadn’t had such a strong aptitude for magic—or been slated to be the next Arch Druid—but that part doesn’t matter. Liam’s been expecting me back ever since I left.” That same crooked grin lit his features.

She took a deep breath, hoping for a miracle. “You said nothing’s changed—”

“Ah, but that was before yesterday.”

He pulled her against him again and settled his lips over hers, light as butterfly wings. The kiss was soft, tender, and not demanding at all. It was a test-the-waters kiss, and she knew it. With a mind of their own, her arms wound around him. She opened her mouth to him, sucking his tongue and nibbling his lips.

Tim slid his hands ever so slowly down her back and placed them on the curves of her ass. He snugged her body against his, and she felt the jut of him pressing into the junction between her thigh and stomach. His breathing quickened. He thrust his hips against her and made a sound like a big jungle cat on the prowl. She’d always loved that sound—it was predatory and hungry and possessive all rolled into one. Except before, he’d always pulled away from her right after making it.