Alpha's Last Fight: A Paranormal Shapeshifter BBW Romance (17 page)

“Then I can’t, Hutch. I can’t.”

Chapter Sixteen

Natalie

The fight had gone out of me. The beast was still there. I was there with it, balanced for the first time in my life. Like me, the beast was powerless. Awed by this man to the point of submission. But I wouldn’t give into desire without knowing what would come next.

“I can’t do this, Hutch. Not if you can’t tell me why I matter to you. I don’t want to be a notch on your bedpost. Lie if you have to. I need something more than physical desire. I can’t... I can’t...”

I begged him as I lay there in his arms. Some part of me felt like I should be fighting this, that I should walk away. That no one should have this sort of power over me. But I didn’t want to. It felt too right.

Even though both sides of me, the woman and the wolf, lusted after him, the whole of me needed him to admit that I was more than just another in a long line of disposable conquests. I needed to know why he didn’t just cast me aside at the first sign of resistance.

Maybe it was too much to expect this from someone who was struggling with his own demons. “I love you” is hard to say sometimes. But even an admission that he liked me in a romantic way, or had any intention of ever calling me after I gave in. Or call me at all. Did this man even have a phone? Who doesn’t have a phone?

“I give up.” I stared up at the night sky. “Whatever it is, Hutch, whatever you want, whatever you need, take it. Just tell me why I matter—”

He drew back, and I choked on the words. If this drove him away from me, then so be it. I didn’t want to be with a man who didn’t love me for more than my body.

Even if Hutch was the only man who could handle me, and the monster that lay in wait inside of my body. Even if he was the only one I trusted to handle me.

Even if I loved him.

My heart broke as he knelt over me and I waited for something I couldn’t have. Then he spoke.

“
Because…”

His voice was perhaps the most frightening thing I had ever heard in my life. It wasn’t a human voice.

“
An alpha…”

It was as if the wolf spoke. Not an actor playing a wolf, but the wolf itself. Canine vocal chords somehow forming howls into words that cut through my soul like a saw, jagged and aching.

“
needs
…”

I felt his shadow fall over me like sheet blocking out the sky. He was almost a wolf, almost but not quite. He was still recognizable as Hutch, beneath the hair and fangs and claws. He was still a man.

“
a mate
.”

My lips parted in shock. In the dark, I could see Hutch shifting back to human form, then wolf form, then back. His body was fluid, the muscles turning and twisting as he moved between man and beast.

“This is what I am, Natalie,” Hutch growled. “You have to understand that. I won’t stay human for you. Not for anyone. I
need
this side of me.”

“A—a mate?”

My mind was still locked on the last thing he’d said. It was one thing to tell me he loved me, but mating? I wasn’t sure if he meant what I thought he meant. He leaned closer and I saw his eyes, ringed gold in the dim night.

“I’m not here for a fuck, Natalie. I want more. I want
you
. All of you. The woman out here—” he said, sliding his hand down my body and sending shivers through my core, “—and the wolf inside of you. I want both. I need both. I need a mate.
Be mine.”

I had expected him to lie. I had expected him to sweet talk me. I had expected all of these things, but the one thing I hadn’t expected was for him to push farther than I could ever have imagined. My head swam.

“I don’t understand, Hutch. What does that...what do you mean?”

Hutch’s lips touched my brow lightly, almost sweetly. His breath made me twitch under his body.

“I want you for me, Natalie,” he said. “I want you to give yourself to me completely and forever. I want to be your mate, and I want you to be mine.”

I licked my lips.

“How can you be so sure?” I asked.

“I’ve known ever since the first night you came to watch me fight. There was something special about you. I needed to pull you out of yourself. I wanted to see you ride the edge of your animal. And when you pulled back, something pulled me toward you. I don’t know why, but I know that you’re the right woman for me. And I think you know it, too.”

I thought about Hutch coming over, looking at my paintings and knowing how I felt. I thought about the first fight, when he took my breath away just by standing close to me. And now he was asking me to let the monster loose. I’d told him I understood, but there was a world of difference between
understanding
and
doing
.

“I don’t know if I can shift now, Hutch. I don’t...”

“Do you want me?”

His eyes glowed above mine, desire burning in his face. My body ached for him to take me. He had no idea what kind of physical reaction he inspired inside of me. There was so much want. And so much fear. My words came out a whisper.

“More than anything.”

“Then let me lead you. Don’t worry.”

“If I hurt you—”

“Natalie. I can take care of myself. Okay?”

Lying there in his arms, the grass under my back, I trusted him. God damn me if I was wrong, but I trusted him. I clenched my teeth and nodded.

He kissed me, his hands moving down over my body. At every pause he squeezed, he licked, he
breathed
pleasure into me. My lips moved back against his, but my mind was deeper inside of me, watching the monster begin to stir.

Without any hesitation, he lifted my hips and drew my dress up. I lifted my arms over my head and let him undress me. He moved slowly, one hand sliding up my thigh as the other unhooked my bra. The night air hit my skin, and I gasped as he moved down and took my nipple in his mouth.

“Hutch—“

“Relax,” he said. His tongue flicked out against the hard aching nub and I moaned with pleasure and fear. The animal under my skin was fully awake now and restless, like a wolf pacing in a cage. I was scared to let it out.

“The wolf doesn’t want to hurt. The wolf wants to come out and play. The wolf wants a taste of this world.”

He sucked hard at my nipple and I arched back. My shoulders pressed against the cold grass and the stars above me in the sky seemed to pulse brightly.

“Let it out,” he said.

I took a breath in and closed my eyes. My animal was there, waiting, hungry. I relaxed, and felt it slip out of its cage. Adrenaline filled my body and my blood began to pump hot and fast. My face grew hot and I could tell it was coming out, too fast, too fast—

“
No
,” I whispered. I opened my eyes and saw thousands of stars whirling in the sky, more than I had ever seen before. Hutch was right there, his hand on my cheek. His scent was overpoweringly strong, and it made me want to grab him and roll him over, take him myself. I struggled to keep control.

“There you go,” he said. “Just a peek. You can sense things better now, yes?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. My heart was still pounding in my chest.

“Well, then,” he said, grinning, “let’s try it again.”

“
Hutch!”

He was already down, his mouth moving over my skin. His strong hand pressed my hip back into the earth when I bucked up to meet him. I gasped as he moved farther, farther down until his breath was hot against my panties. His fingers hooked through the elastic waistband and pulled. I grabbed his wrist with my hand, and although he was strong enough to pull away, he stopped instantly.

“Hutch—”

“Let me lead you. I promise it’ll be okay.”

The sureness in his voice made me breathe more easily, and I slowly unwrapped my fingers from his wrist. Dizzy with his scent, I let my head fall back against the ground.

He slid my panties down, leaving me wet and naked. Kneeling over me, he slid his hands over my body from my thighs to my breasts, his face an expression of awe.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said. “Every single inch of you is gorgeous.”

I wriggled under his gaze, but then his fingers stopped at my thighs and his hand slid down, touching me where I was wet. A whimper escaped my throat and I felt my wolf surge forward.

“I know you want me,” Hutch said. He bent his head and kissed my lips, his fingers still sliding around my opening, teasing me. I couldn’t breathe, not with his mouth against mine. Then he pulled back sharply, and I was left with an aching, unfulfilled desire.

“Ever since I was a boy, I knew what kind of mate I would have.” Hutch spoke as he slid down and pressed his knee between my legs. He pushed down his pants and then he was naked, too, his cock hard and insistent on my thigh. I could feel him throbbing, and the nearness of his body made the wolf inside leap at the door, whining to get out.

“She would be beautiful and fierce and smarter than me,” Hutch said, smiling. His finger pressed into me then, and I gasped. My body clenched in and out, and I fought to keep control. “But I had no idea you would leave all my expectations in the dust. You are beyond every hope I had. And if you let me be your mate, Natalie, I promise I won’t let you down.”

“
Yes
,” I said.

Pushing my legs apart, Hutch bore down on me. His entire body pressed against mine, and the breath left my lungs. Then he eased up, and I could feel him at my opening, hot and hard against me.

“You want this, Natalie,” he said. His arms pinned mine to the ground, and his hips were braced against my thighs. “Don’t keep it in. Let it out. Let it run free.” He pressed against me, and I could feel him entering me, pushing inside my slickness.

Fear raced through my veins. This was how it had happened before. But this time, it was the desire that I couldn’t control, that spiraled up and broke through the gate. The wolf was out.

I cried out, but the cry was a snarl. I saw Hutch above me, holding me down.

“It’s alright, Natalie.” I heard his words clearly, as though he was speaking to me directly inside my mind. “Keep the passion. Let the wolf run in your own skin. Find the edge. Find your balance.”

I thrashed my head to the side and pulled into myself. The wolf eased back, and then I saw her. I saw myself from above, as Hutch saw me.

I was her. I was an animal, and I didn’t need to shift in order to be a wolf. As I watched myself move, I could feel the muscles stretch, the tendons shift. I turned the ferocity inwards, letting it run through me. As I did, I saw myself shift back to human form, the claws retracting.

The wolf was still there, and I blinked. Hutch’s face hovered just above mine and every color in his face was vibrant, so much more vibrant than they should have been in the dark. This time I could see every pore in his skin. The ghost traces of every scar he had gotten in his fights. I could smell his sweat and the juices of both of us, mixed together. I could hear the desire in his breathing.

“There you go, Nat,” he said breathily. His arms trembled, and I could tell he had been on the verge of losing control himself.

“It’s there,” I said, breathless. “It’s right there, inside of me. It’s moving with me.”

“Don’t try to control it,” Hutch said. “But don’t let it control you.”

“I won’t.”

“What do you need from me?” Hutch asked. His breath was heavy, and I could tell he wanted me more than anything else. This time, I wasn’t afraid to want him back.

“You’re my mate,” I said, turning my gaze onto him. “I want you to take me.”

With a growl of pleasure, he sank into me.

I cried out when his cock entered me for the first time, my muscles clenching hard against his thickness. Such a strange feeling, to want something so desperately at the same time and to fear it as well. I didn’t know if he would split me open. He was so huge. My hands splayed over his broad shoulders.

“Hutch!”

“Take me inside,” he said, and I bit my lip as he eased into me, the slickness making it easier for him to work his cock farther, deeper. The sense of fullness made me moan with delight, even as he tore his way through me. The pain of it was eclipsed by the need for him to be part of me, to take me, to own my body and become part of it.

As he began to thrust in and out, animal desire took over. His scent, the feel of his palms on my skin, everything made me ache with a need I had never given into.

I clutched his hips and before long, I was pulling him in deeper, harder. I couldn’t stop, my hips bucking against him even as I screamed with how thick he was inside me. I needed it. I needed him. The animal raged, its growls becoming my groans as he bore into me, plunging me into a fiery heaven.

“Yes!
Yes!
” I screamed, and when I opened my eyes, I saw Hutch losing himself to the sensation and my cries. His eyes burned gold and he thrust harder, harder, slamming against me. My hands gripped his hips and pulled him to me until, finally, he rode me hard to the edge of my pleasure. I could feel the ache transforming into a shudder, and I let the wolf run through me, let the animal sense everything. The slickness of his skin on my chest, smearing against my nipples. The smell of his juices mixing with mine. Everything burst open into flashes of light and scent and I came hard, clenched around his cock tightly.

“
OHHH
,” I moaned. My body rippled with animal desire, and he thrust harder, sending me past the first wave of orgasm instantly into another one. My limbs shook but he was carrying me in his arms, his thick cock thrusting into my core until his sweat and mine made it impossible for him to grip me. Then he wrapped his arm around me and thrust in with his entire body.

His scent changed just before he came, and I held on for dear life as his climax rolled through his body and brought me along with it. A howl echoed through the night, and I could not tell whether it was him or me or perhaps both of us crying out in pleasure, our bodies shivering against each other in the throes of a passion so strong that no human body could contain it.