Alpha's Last Fight: A Paranormal Shapeshifter BBW Romance (27 page)

It was all my fault, all of it. There was no one else to blame. There was no redemption to be had here. It wouldn’t fix anything, but at least the money would help. I’d made sure it would go to the right people.

I stepped into an arena swollen by noise and light. More crowded than I had seen it since I had arrived. But I chose to ignore the crowd. There was no one there I gave a damn about. Certainly no one who gave a damn about me. No gestures. No gimmicks.

Even though I felt certain I would die that day, I hadn’t given up. I would be fighting to win. All I had left was pride, and I planned to make a good account of myself. If I was going down, I was going down swinging.

I was only ever good at two things. Fighting and fucking up. Tonight, I intended to fight.

The announcer droned on about Quinn or me or maybe both. His words evaporated into the heat of the arena like mist.

Quinn wasn’t paying any attention, either. His single eye fixed on me. Sizing me up.

I’d never fought anyone like him before. He would be bigger, stronger, meaner and faster than anyone I had ever faced. If we stood toe-to-toe and slugged it out, I would lose and lose bad. I had to find a weakness and exploit it. Just like when I beat him the first time.

Sabine
, another name for the list of lives I had destroyed. I was sorry for what I did. For what happened because of it. I would have been sorry for Quinn too, but it was a luxury I couldn’t afford right now.

Weaknesses?
His hate. His hate for me would make him strong, but it might also make him sloppy. He wouldn’t want this to be over quickly. He’d want to draw it out, see me suffer. Shit. How did that help me?

The crowd was booing. I don’t think either of us had noticed the buzzer signaling that the fight had begun. Or maybe we had, but didn’t care. We would start when we were ready.

“I’m sorry about Sabine, I really am.” That part, at least, was sincere. But Quinn didn’t care. We began to circle each other, side-stepping around the ring. Moving enough to calm the crowd a little.

“I’m sorry she didn’t stay. Maybe she would have stood a chance with someone who could look after her, keep her safe… keep her satisfied. She was fucking half the pack, Quinn. And you just let her.”

He jabbed at me with his right hand and all I had to do was lean back to avoid it. There was no strength behind the jab: he was just testing his reach. He grinned.

“They tell me I’ve gone crazy. That I’m some kind of monster,” he said. “That doesn’t mean I’m an idiot. Do you want to know a secret? You can’t make me more angry than I already am. You can’t make me hate you more than I already do. There’s no point in trying. I’m just so full of rage I’m just about ready to...”

He pulled back his left, but I was ready. This one, I was sure, would have a bit more force about it. I saw his shoulders turn, and I made to get out of the way of his fist. Then... BAM! He lunged forward, so fast I didn’t see it coming, his forehead crashing into the bridge of my nose so hard that it sent me flying backwards into the ropes.

I could taste blood in my mouth, and my vision was blurred. Pain flared as I shook my head to try and clear it. It wasn’t my first broken nose, but this one was bad. I spat on the ground and pulled myself to my feet.

I was calm, and with that calm came control. With control came strength. I’d need it. I called the wolf inside me.
Help me
. Help me now, and later you can run free. I promise. But first we gotta kick this guy’s ass.

I tried to move fast. I tried to surprise him. When I came to my feet I kept moving, channeling everything I had through my shoulder and into my right arm. He didn’t even bother to dodge. He just swatted at me and deflected the blow.

I was still off balance when he lashed out again, catching me on the shoulder. He followed this up with a kick to the knee. I managed to move with that one a little, not deflecting it, but minimizing any damage it might do. I couldn’t afford to be immobilized. That would be the end of me.

He was strong. He was fast, and he was still getting warmed up.

“You want this? You want this? COME ON!”

He roared at me in a voice barely recognizable as human. He was changing. Becoming something else. A monster. I could see his body rippling beneath his skin. Muscles bulged as his torso became broader. His face changed too. His nose and jaw seemed longer, almost as if they were being stretched. His one good eye was glowing like fire.

One eye. A weakness. I had to be able to use it somehow. But I couldn’t even get close to him. Every punch I threw got pushed aside and was immediately followed up by a powerful counter attack.

I dodged, I ducked, and I survived glancing blow after glancing blow. But sooner or later I knew I’d screw up and when I did...

He caught me across the cheek with a solid right hook. I heard the crunch of bone and felt an explosion of agony as something shattered in the side of my face.

The force of the blow sent me to the floor again, slammed against the mat. My face was a mess. I had a gash on my chest I couldn’t remember getting and I’d taken at least a dozen blows to the body. I don’t think I’d landed a single solid punch in return.

I looked for more strength, but found none. I was tapped out.

Quinn barely looked human now. He had taken on an entirely new form. He had become what the people in the old countries called a werewolf. Something they called an abomination.

I tried to speak, but my jaw didn’t want to cooperate.

“That looks… painful.” His words were deep and rasping. Slurred, as if it were a struggle to form the words. I couldn’t resist a chuckle, and paid for it immediately as the movement cause the pain in my cheek to flare.

“What’s… so funny.”

The monster reached down and grabbed me by the sides. His claws punctured me along the torso and I almost fainted from the pain as he lifted me off the ground. My entire body weight was supported solely by his piercing claws.

“I said... what’s… so... fucking
funny?
”

“
This
.”

I called on my last reserves of strength as I pulled my arm back. When I let fly, he saw it coming and responded immediately.

But what he didn’t see was that it was a slow-ball. I pulled my punch, and he responded as if he expected more power. Instead my own arm rippled and changed, my hand becoming a paw, my fingers claws. He didn’t have time to react again as I aimed a swipe at his brow, above his eye.

I opened him up. Three gashes, not deep, but they didn’t need to be. Not there. Blood started flowing immediately. Running down his face and into his one good eye.

The crowd loved it, or at least they loved the blood. And even if I was going to die here, it felt good to show off my party trick to an appreciative audience one last time.

He roared with anger and tossed me aside like I was a broken toy. And when I crashed into the mat, I felt like one. I couldn’t go on much longer. That stunt had taken just about everything I had.

I heard screams and squeals from the front rows as Quinn lurched out of the ring, looking for something to wipe the blood out of his eyes. It afforded me a brief respite, but at this point it was just prolonging the inevitable.

There had to be more. I looked inside for anything. Some kind of inner strength I’d never tapped before. Something… anything, I could latch onto.

And there was… something. Something deep, deep down inside. Something dark and dangerous. Somewhere I’d never even thought of looking for before today. Beyond the man, lay the animal. Beyond the animal, lay the monster.

I pulled myself up on my feet and faced the crowd. Those pathetic people who could only bask in my glory. They’d never know what it felt like… to… to…

I was changing. My shoulders growing, bones grinding on bones as my muscles shifted. It was agony. Despite the broken bones in my face I threw my head back and screamed. This wasn’t like the smooth natural transition between man and wolf. This was something older. Something more primal.

It was evil. I’d never been a big believer in right and wrong and good and evil. Two sides of the same coin and all that. But this… this was something else entirely. This was pure evil. How could I embrace it willingly?

“Hurts, doesn’t it?”

I heard Quinn’s voice from beyond the border I had crossed, the border between wolf and monster. His words snarled, jagged in the air.

“They say this is what drives us mad. Some people can’t handle it. They’re too scared to turn back. To face the pain again. So they never do. But some people embrace the pain. Let it make them stronger. Which one are you, Hutch?”

I’m the one that’s going to cut your fucking heart out and eat it.
But another scream drowned out my words before I could begin to utter them.

I searched for the source of the scream as Quinn stepped back in the ring, looking mostly human again. He dabbed at his forehead with a borrowed scarf, but it just kept bleeding. Now he was weak.

I could be like him. I could be as fast as him, and make him suffer for his weakness. I knew that once I headed down this path, though, there was no turning back. To beat him I’d have to become like him. As strong and fast as he was. Whatever the cost. I’d have to become a monster.

I looked up at Quinn, and then past him, to the crowd. Over his shoulder, I saw her.

Or did I?

My vision swam, but even through the agony I realized I had access to senses I’d never even dreamed of. My ears tuned to the frequency of Natalie’s voice, and I heard her sobs of despair. It was her. My love. My mate. But there was something wrong.

Her scent - the remarkable, heady, once-in-a-lifetime scent that I loved so much - had turned sour. It hit me with great rolling waves of fear and desperation. But beneath it all, there was something sicker. A revulsion, eating away at her like maggots on a corpse. Fear, contempt, hatred.

NO!

No. This wasn’t me. Not here. Not now. Not for her. I couldn’t bear to be remembered like this. Not by her. I pushed it back, the pain in my twisted bones and muscles fading as I returned to a more natural form. If she was going to see me die, she would see me as the man she loved.

As I shifted back, the other pain returned. My jaw, my nose. The wounds in my side and chest. But they didn’t matter. I brushed past Quinn, who circled back around to the other side of the ring. He didn’t know what I was doing. Neither did I, really.

I shuffled to the ropes, dragging one leg behind me. Another injury I barely recalled picking up. I did my best to smile, but I probably still looked like something out of a kid’s worst nightmare. It didn’t matter, though. I was still me. At the end I’d still be me. That was all that mattered.

I brought two fingers to my chest. Touched them to my heart. Brought them to my lips. My hand shook weakly as I raised my arm and pointed to her in the crowd.

Before, she had to beg me to talk, but now there was so much I wanted to say.
I love you. You made me better, but you deserve more. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough.

I slumped. There was no fight left in me. I was done. I blinked away tears and looked down at the mat. When I looked up she was gone. Good. I didn’t want her to see what came next.

I turned around, my fists lowered, and waited for the end.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Natalie

I fought back a wave of nausea as the monster in the ring pummeled Hutch. Every crack of his fist made me wince. The animal inside me joined in my despair. Hutch was mine, I couldn’t deny it. He was my alpha, and the wolf in me trembled to see him on the edge of death.

“What did you do, Tommy?” My voice was a deep rumble in my throat, cutting through the excited roar of the crowd like a knife.

“I… I… don’t. I didn’t know.” There was genuine surprise there. Even shock. Tommy looked like he was about to throw up. “I wanted to get rid of him. I thought if he was good enough… maybe he’d just stay here. But not this. Not like this.”

“Fix it, Tommy! Call off the fight.”

He barked a short nervous laugh.

“Look around, Nat. Look at these people. Look at this place. I've got no power here.”

I swallowed hard. The crowd around us was screaming, their fists pumping the air. In the center of the ring Hutch took another blow, his head reeling back, blood misting the air. It was like the first time I’d seen him, only this time he was the one who was going to lose.

And this time, losing meant death.

I couldn’t… I couldn’t sit here and watch him die. I had to do something. I clutched at Tommy’s arm. Like it or not, he was the only person here that could help me, and I didn’t have any pride left when it came to saving Hutch’s life. He had to know how serious this was. I shouted over the crowd into his ear.

“
You did this, Tommy
. You have to fix it! He’s going to
die
.”

I looked back to the ring. Hutch’s face was stretching, turning. He was becoming… something else. A monster. Just like the other fighter.

Then, before he threw another punch, his eyes found mine. Immediately his face changed back. It was him. Hutch.

He raised his hand to his heart. His fingers against his chest.

No. Oh, god
.

His fingers rose, pressing against his lips.

Hutch. My Hutch. My mate. My love.

He pointed out, towards me, finding me in the middle of all the cheering faces. And at that moment, I knew what he was doing.

He was saying goodbye.

I could tell. I saw it in his eyes. He’d given up. He’d made peace with whatever demons tugged at his poor damaged soul and he’d given up. He wanted to make sure I knew that in the end he chose to stop fighting.

My heart melted. Searing pain through my chest. I couldn’t lose him. No matter what it took, I wouldn’t let him go.

I tore at Tommy’s arm, tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop sobbing, begging him to help, rambling words that made no sense to me anymore.