Always and Forever (15 page)

“Thank you for coming here with me,” he said. “You’ve made an unbearable trip better than I ever thought possible. Instead of being miserable, I’m actually enjoying myself.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. After a pregnant pause, she quietly asked, “Jamal, what was the argument with your dad about?”

He shook his head, rubbing his chin against her collarbone. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he murmured.

“No,” she said with enough force to make him rear back a bit. She twisted around and faced him with a look that said she wasn’t backing down. “You don’t get to shrug this question off anymore. I came all this way to be here for you when you face your dad. The least you can do is tell me what caused the disagreement in the first place. What did he do that was so horrible?”

“It wasn’t just one thing,” Jamal answered. He blew out a frustrated breath, casting his gaze on the red rock formation in the distance. “My father doesn’t respect me. He never has.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because he practically said it to my face.” Jamal drained the remainder of his wine and set the glass down, silently applauding himself for not grabbing the bottle and drinking straight from it. Talking about this would be so much easier after an entire bottle of wine. Or four.

“One morning, my dad came into my office and told me to pack up because I was moving to the twenty-eighth floor, into one of the executive suites. I told him I was fine with my windowless office on the sixth floor, with the rest of the architects at Johnson Construction. But he’d never intended for his only son to remain a lowly architect.

“It’s time for you to step up to the plate and take a swing at being the boss,’” Jamal mimicked in his father’s voice. “He’s the king of baseball analogies,” he said with a derisive snort.

“You must have known he had this in mind. How long had he been grooming you to move up into a leadership role at the company?”

“Since birth,” Jamal answered. “But I never wanted it. Never. It’s the creation process that I love. I love working with my hands, even when it’s only my hands touching the keyboard and computer mouse. I’ve never wanted to be anyone’s boss.”

“But you will be when you open your firm and hire people.”

“Yeah, but it won’t be the same,” he said. “For one thing, my firm will be a one-man show for at least the first year. I’ll expand in the future, but I don’t want it to grow into what Johnson Construction has become.” He shook his head. “I can remember a time when my dad knew the name of every person who worked for him. Now, there are twenty thousand employees.

“I’m going to make sure that my firm remains small, and more of a partnership than one man at the top dictating what others do. I’m going to be open-minded when it comes to new ideas. The complete opposite of my father.”

“Ah, let me guess,” Phil said. “He isn’t on board with the eco-friendly stuff?”

“Somebody hand the lady a prize,” Jamal said, his mouth twisting with a cynical grin. “I’d been waiting for the perfect opportunity to share some of my ideas for incorporating green technology into Johnson Construction’s designs. But that morning was definitely
not
the time to do it. Things went downhill from there. I told him if he wasn’t ready to step into the twenty-first century, I would just open my own firm.”

Phylicia’s eyes widened. “What did he say to that?”

“That I didn’t have what it takes to make it on my own. That I’d come crawling back to Johnson Construction with my hands stretched out.”

“He did not!” Phylicia gasped, her vehemence on his behalf providing a small measure of comfort.

“It shouldn’t have hurt me as much as it did. It wasn’t the first time he’d shot down my ideas. I was used to it.” A familiar pang of disappointment tightened Jamal’s chest. “I’d spent my entire life trying to live up to his expectations, and...I don’t know...I just...I was just over it. At that point, I knew I’d never earn that man’s respect.

“It was time for me to go,” Jamal said. “I was tired of having my life dictated by other people.”

Phylicia caressed his cheek, a sympathetic frown marring her brow. “I’m sorry,” she said. She gazed up at him for several hauntingly quiet moments before she spoke again in a soft voice. “Jamal, don’t take this the wrong way, but why haven’t you opened your firm?”

Her question struck a chord of panic in his chest, but he shrugged it off. “I want to take my time and make sure I do it right.”

“But you’re not making any progress on it,” she said. “You’ve spent over a year working first on the Georgian, and now Belle Maison. You haven’t even decided on a location for your firm.”

“I’m not in any big rush, Phylicia.”

“Because there’s no reason for you to rush. You have enough money to live on for the rest of your life. You can put off opening this firm forever.” She tilted her head to the side, those brown eyes boring into his. “If this is something you truly want, why haven’t you made more of an effort to see it through, Jamal?”

Jamal tried to keep his expression light, but unease tightened his jaw. “What’s with the third degree?” he asked with an uncomfortable laugh.

“You’re afraid,” she said.

Her simple, softly spoken words hit a raw nerve.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” she said. “I know what it’s like to be afraid to fail, Jamal. When that house-flipping venture went bad, I tried to put all of the blame on Kevin, but I was just as culpable. I wanted to prove to myself that I was right in wanting to expand my father’s business.”

“Our situations are completely different.”

“No, they’re not.” She placed her soft palm against his cheek, her eyes brimming with understanding. “You have something to prove, just as I did. And just like me, you’re afraid that if you fail, you’ll prove your father right. That’s why you took so long to remodel your house, and why you bought Belle Maison. You’re finding projects to occupy your time so that you don’t have to go after your dream.”

He huffed out a grunt. “I thought your degree was in finance, not psychology,” he said, reaching for the wine. He busied himself with refilling his glass so he wouldn’t have to face the truth that pummeled him with every word Phylicia uttered.

She took the bottle from his hands and set it next to them.

“It doesn’t take a psychology degree to see what’s going on here,” she said. “Don’t let fear stop you. And don’t let revenge or some misguided desire to prove your dad wrong be your sole focus. This is
your
dream. Do it for
you.

“And, Jamal?” She captured his chin between her fingers and tilted his head up. “You need to settle things with your dad. Don’t let it eat away at your family anymore,” she pleaded. “It’s not worth it. Trust me on this.”

“Phylicia, let me handle this in my own time.”

“But—”

Jamal leaned forward and captured her lips, halting further comment. He had not gone to all this trouble setting up this romantic night just to ruin it with talk of his father.

“Enough free advice for the night,” he whispered against her lips. “We’ve got other ways to occupy our time.”

Chapter 14

A
toxic mixture of anxiety, fear and a healthy dose of disgust roiled through Jamal’s gut as they made their way to the Aztec Ballroom of the Biltmore Hotel, where his sister’s wedding and reception were being held. With each step he took, Jamal had to talk himself out of turning around and driving back to Sedona.

He knew it was out of the question. He’d come here for Lauryn. He was not going to ruin her big day. He and Lawrence Johnson would just have to suck it up and tolerate each other’s presence.

Jamal glanced over at Phylicia, who had an excellent chance of outshining the bride. She was stunning in the form-fitting strapless gray dress. Her subtle makeup transformed her face into a thing of breath-stealing beauty. Jamal could spend hours staring at her.

“Stop staring at me like that,” she said in a hushed voice.

“I can’t help it,” Jamal said. “You’re just so damn good to stare at.”

The blush that blossomed on her cheeks made looking at her even more enjoyable. He loved making her blush. He’d figured out so many ways to do it over the past few months.

“Are you ready for this?” Phylicia asked.

Her inquiry doused his heated thoughts. Sucking in a heavy breath, Jamal answered, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

As soon as they entered the elegant ballroom, Jamal heard a sharp gasp. He turned and, a second later, was enveloped in a set of warm, familiar arms.

“Oh, Jamal,” his mother cried. She grabbed his face and kissed both of his cheeks.

“Don’t cry. You’ll ruin your makeup,” he teased. It was either make jokes or bawl along with her. God, how he’d missed this woman. “It’s great to see you, Mom.”

She cradled his cheek in her palm. “Oh, you, too, darling. I’ve missed you so much. It isn’t the same with you being away.”

Jamal took her hand and kissed the back of her fingers. He turned to Phylicia, who’d stood a few feet back. The emotion on her face nearly did Jamal in. He realized that she could no longer have moments like this with her mother.

In that instant, the anxiety over returning to Arizona withered and died. He was blessed with a healthy, vibrant mother who meant the world to him, and he’d purposely stayed away because of his father? How selfish—
how foolish—
could he be? He was never staying away this long again.

Jamal turned to Phylicia. “Mother, this is my date, Phylicia Phillips. Phylicia, my mother, Katherine Johnson.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Phylicia said, taking her hand. “And this place is absolutely beautiful.”

“So are you,” his mother returned, her eyes widening with unconcealed curiosity. “How did you two meet?”

“You remember Corey Anderson, my old roommate at Arizona State?” Jamal asked. “He and Phylicia went to high school together. She’s a restoration specialist in Louisiana. She’s helping me to restore the home that I’m turning into a bed-and-breakfast.”

“Oh, what fascinating work. You and Jamal must have so much in common. I’m guessing you’ve been spending a lot of time together?” Her voice was so hopeful, Jamal had to bite back a laugh.

“Um...yes, we have,” Phylicia said, her eyes darting his way, sparkling with amusement. “Your son has very unique ideas when it comes to design.”

“He’s a brilliant architect, and a great provider. He can play the saxophone, too. And I just know he’s going to be a wonderful father someday. He just needs to find the right woman.”

Oh, great.
Way to be subtle, Mom.
He wouldn’t be surprised if she pulled out a résumé listing his husbandly qualities.

Glancing around the room, Jamal spotted his father heading toward them.

His jaw stiffened. “I’m going to find Lauryn and say hello before the ceremony begins,” he said. “Phylicia, I’ll only be a few minutes.”

Covering his forearm with her gloved hand, his mother looked at him with mournful eyes. “Jamal, talk to him,” she said.

The pleading in her voice clawed at his soul, but as Jamal took in the arrogant, haughty look on his father’s face, he knew that any confrontation between them right now would make his sister’s wedding a spectacle instead of the magical day she deserved. He kissed his mother’s cheek and turned, heading for the opposite side of the vast ballroom.

By the time he found the suite where his sister and her bridesmaids were getting dressed, Jamal had only a few moments to talk to her. After being away for over a year, it wasn’t nearly long enough.

By the time he returned to Phylicia, the ceremony was beginning.

As the night wore on, it became evident that he and his father were on the same page when it came to getting through the evening. They put equal amounts of effort into avoiding each other. Even during the family photos, when they stood mere feet from one another, not a single word was spoken between them.

That was just fine with him, Jamal thought. Until he noticed the sadness in his mother’s eyes. The sorrow evident on her face hit him square in the chest.

“Are you okay?” Phylicia asked as he rejoined her at their table.

Jamal reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m good,” he said. “Especially with you here with me.”

The lead singer of the live band that had covered songs from the nineties announced that it was time for the traditional bride and groom dance, but instead of going to the center of the ballroom, his sister headed for the stage and gestured for the microphone.

“Hello again, everyone,” Lauryn started, that smile she’d been wearing all night as bright as ever. “I hope you all are enjoying yourselves and adding up a huge tab at the bar, since my dad is paying for it all.” Laughter flittered around the room. “Michael and I had picked out a song for this dance, but at the time I didn’t know if my big brother, Jamal, would be here.” She looked directly at him, her brown eyes, so much like his, softening. “Since he is, I would be so honored if our wedding song came from his saxophone. Jamal, will you play for us?”

Without hesitation, Jamal set his drink on the table and made his way to the stage.

“You know that I usually don’t play another person’s sax,” he told his sister. “But for you, I’ll make an exception.”

Lauryn’s face beamed. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, big brother. You shouldn’t even have to ask which song,” she said.

Jamal glanced over at the sheet music on the stand and let out a sharp crack of laughter. “I should have guessed,” he said.

He positioned his fingers on the keys, getting a feel for the unfamiliar sax. Moments later, he started playing Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love to You.” For the entire summer of ’94, the song could be heard coming from his sister’s bedroom 24/7.

As he serenaded the couple, his eyes found Phylicia. She sat with her elbow propped up on the table, chin in her hand. A wistful smile graced her lips.

Jamal was suddenly struck with a sense of déjà vu. It was in an atmosphere like this one that he’d first started to fall for her. He hadn’t even known her all that well at Mya and Corey’s wedding, yet he’d been drawn to her. Later that night, as they’d talked about every insignificant thing under the moon, he’d realized that she was the type of woman he could easily see himself spending the rest of his life with.

He blew out the last few notes of the song, shrugging off the bevy of applause from the audience with a modest wave. He leaned over and whispered something to the band leader before walking over to Lauryn and his new brother-in-law. He enveloped them both in a hug, and kissed his sister’s cheek.

God, she looked happy. He could only hope to find such happiness one day.

With that thought in mind, Jamal headed straight for Phylicia.

“That was lovely,” she said.

“Thank you,” Jamal answered. He held his hand out. “This next dance is for us.”

Her head tilted to the side, her brows raised in question. As the song he’d requested started, a slow smile spread across her face. She captured his hand and allowed him to guide her onto the dance floor. Phylicia rested her cheek against his shoulder as they swayed back and forth.

“This is the song that played for the bridal party dance at Mya and Corey’s wedding,” she said.

Jamal nodded. “It was the first song we ever danced to.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that,” she said.

“That song played in my head for days after the wedding. I couldn’t get it out of my mind.” He pulled slightly away and peered down at her. “You really don’t have a clue how much you affected me that night, do you, Phylicia? I fell for you. Hard. And I’ve been falling ever since.”

She stared up at him, her eyes filled with the same emotion that was tightening his chest. “I’m falling, too,” she admitted in a soft voice. “I’m not sure I can fall much deeper.”

The air between them vibrated with an intense energy. It was as if everyone else had disappeared, leaving the two of them to savor this experience in their own private universe. This song, this place, this moment; it was just for them.

“I’m in love with you,” Jamal said. He hadn’t meant to say it; the words came out involuntarily. But now that he’d put them out there, he wouldn’t take them back.

Phylicia just stared at him, her expression unreadable.

Something close to panic clawed up Jamal’s throat. It was too soon. She was good and spooked; he could feel it in the way her body stiffened against him.

She dropped her gaze to his chest. “If I tell you the same thing, you have to promise you won’t hurt me,” she whispered, her soft voice saturated with uncertainty.

“I told you before that I would never hurt you, Phylicia.” He captured her chin between his fingers and lifted her gaze to meet his. “I’m not Kevin. Don’t make me pay for his mistakes.”

“No, you’re not Kevin,” she agreed. “I know you would never hurt me the way he did.”

The song ended, but Jamal didn’t move. He refused to leave this spot until he knew how she truly felt about him.

When Phylicia’s gaze met his, the sheen of unshed tears in her eyes caused his throat to painfully constrict. The vulnerability radiating from her was such a contradiction to her usually tough exterior.

“I think I’m in love with you, too, Jamal,” she finally said, then she shook her head. “No, I don’t think it. I know it.”

His chest expanded with the deep breath he heaved, the swell of emotion threatening to overwhelm him. Jamal leaned forward and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to her lips. He wanted nothing more than to stand in this one spot, kissing her forever.

“Will Mother have another wedding to plan soon?”

A smile crept up the sides of Jamal’s mouth as he turned to his sister, who stood a few feet behind them.

“You’re such a brat,” he teased. Still holding on to Phylicia with one hand, he brought his sister in for a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Did I tell you how amazing you look today? I’m so happy for you, Lauryn.”

Tears glistened in her eyes. “Thank you for coming,” she said. “My day would not have been complete without you.”

Swallowing past the lump of emotion lodged in his throat, Jamal smiled and said, “Thank Phylicia. Somehow she managed to convince me.”

“Really?” Lauryn asked, a curious hike to her brow. “There’s actually a woman on earth who can get through Jamal’s thick skull? Who knew?”

“Hey,” Jamal protested as Phylicia and Lauryn both laughed.

With one last kiss to his cheek, his sister left the two of them so she could greet other guests.

Lacing her fingers behind his neck, Phylicia smiled into his eyes. “Your sister is a character.”

“She was the bane of my existence growing up.”

“Stop it,” Phylicia chastised. “Your family is great, so warm and down-to-earth. I won’t lie—they are the complete opposite of what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“Uppity rich people,” she said with a frankness that was all Phylicia.

Jamal chuckled. “We’re pretty grounded,” he said, settling his hands on her waist and guiding her in a gentle sway to the soft ballad coming from the band.

“They are lovely. Including your dad,” she added after a pause. “I talked to him earlier, when you went to the car to get your sister’s gift.”

“Don’t,” he said.

“He hates this estrangement, Jamal.”

“Don’t get in the middle of this, Phylicia.”

“What’s the point of keeping up this dispute if the two of you are both miserable?”

“Who says I’m miserable?”

Her gorgeous lips thinned in annoyance. “Why don’t you just hear him out? Don’t lose any more time fighting, Jamal. You never know how much you’re going to have left.”

God, she was stubborn.

“Leave it alone,” Jamal beseeched. “I’m begging you, Phylicia. Just leave it alone.”

“But—”

Jamal shut her up the only way he knew how, capturing the back of her head and crushing his mouth to hers. She fought his kiss for only a moment before Jamal felt her body relax against him and her lips slowly open. He would give anything to engage in a full-on, open-mouth kiss with her, but he knew it would leave him aroused and aching. And since they had a two-hour drive before they would get to a bed, he had to stop before things went too far.

Phylicia tore her mouth from his. The censure in her frown was ruined by the desire smoldering in her eyes. “You do not play fair,” she accused.

“I never claimed I would,” he returned.

“This conversation isn’t over, Jamal.”

Instead of arguing with her, Jamal gave her another swift kiss and guided her back to their table. The day had been too perfect; he would not spoil it with talk of his father.

Moments later, Lauryn and Michael bade their guests farewell, but the party was far from over. The ten-piece band was replaced by a popular local DJ, and the mood switched from sedate wedding reception to nightclub-style party.

As he and Phylicia danced the rest of the night away, Jamal knew there was no way they would make it back to Sedona tonight. Not only had he indulged in one too many drinks from the free-flowing bar, but after feeling Phylicia’s body brush up against his all night, he knew he would not be able to sustain a two-hour drive without having her. They would end up parked on the side of Interstate 17, stripping each other out of their clothes.