Always Eat Left Handed: 15 Surprisingly Simple Secrets of Success (3 page)

*Author’s Note
- I do realize that the tie analogy is a masculine one – but I hope that the point is still clear no matter what gender you happen to be!

Chapter 4 - Avoid Cauliflower

Lesson - Have A Point Of View

I actively hate cauliflower.

It is and has always been my least favourite “food.”  I hate the smell, the look, and the texture of it.  There was a time when I used to keep that fact to myself.  I’d smile politely and quietly avoid it.  I might have even taken some on my plate to please a particularly overbearing host … especially since it’s a very common ingredient in lots of Indian dishes (and it is almost impossible to refuse food from an Indian host!).

Then one day I decided I would stop pretending.  From that day onwards, when invited to dinner and someone asked if there was anything I couldn’t eat – I had my answer ready.  I would single out cauliflower.  When people asked if I was allergic, I would politely admit that I wasn’t “officially” allergic … only that I couldn’t stand it. 

Before you dismiss me as a picky eater, I should tell you that I am quite the opposite.  I’ve tried deep fried crickets on the streets of Hong Kong.  I had whale tartar in Norway.  If you told me something was a delicacy in a strange land, I would probably take a bite just to know what it tastes like.  I always try everything.

Except cauliflower.

Over time, though, something interesting started to happen when it came to my dislike of cauliflower.  It became a way for people to get to know something unexpectedly personal about me.  Just as newly dating couples eventually figure out how their partner likes their coffee – cauliflower became that small fact about me that people could remember and share. 

“Oh, he won’t touch that.  Rohit doesn’t eat cauliflower.”  Yes, it sounds strange.  But I started bonding with people over my intense dislike of a vegetable—and my willingness to be upfront about sharing it.

Some People Believe …

One of the most fundamental skills that many lawyers learn early in their training in law school is how to make a qualified statement without revealing a personal bias.  In order to project what is often called “confident uncertainty” – they will use words like “appears, seems, suggests or indicates.”  They will start sentences with “some people believe … “ or similar statements. 

It works in the legal environment, where opinions can and may be held against you in a court of law.  In most of the rest of the business and personal world, though, having opinions is actually highly desirable.  In fact, having an opinion usually makes the difference between whether you are actually adding value to a conversation or piece of work, or just following orders. 

We seek out people who have a point of view.  We want advice from them.  We want them to lead us.  A point of view means you don’t have to pretend to like everything.  It is something you can argue for.  It may not be something that everyone around you agrees with, but you have a strong rationale for why you believe it and you are able to share that with others.  Having a point of view, though, isn’t just critical to be able to offer something valuable to a conversation.  It is also critical to earning respect. 

Having a point of view changes everything.

Over time, the people we respect tend to be the ones who are able to argue for their own point of views … even if we happen to disagree with them. 

How To Have A Point Of View

If there is one promise that many liberal arts colleges promise, it is to teach their students how to think.  Learning how to think, though, doesn’t require a fancy degree from an expensive school.  It only requires you to be a student of knowledge with enough confidence to form your own point of view and argue for it when necessary.

To help you do both, here are a few suggestions:

1. Don’t memorize facts.
     The biggest enemy to having a point of view is focusing on memorizing facts.  About two years ago,
   Fast Company
   published a fascinating interview
   with one of the leaders of a top-10 outsourcing firm based in India called iGate Patni.  In it, the CEO Phaneesh Murthy shared the unexpected conclusion that the American education system (despite its consistently low global rankings) was actually the
   best
   in the world.  “To compete long term,” he shared, “we need more brainstorming, not memorization; more individuality, not standardization.” In other words, we need more people with a point of view – and Murthy is spending millions every year to retrain his workforce with this new skill.
   
2. Learn to separate belief from fact.
    It is notoriously difficult for any one of us to separate the things that we believe from the things that anyone else might objectively consider to be fact.  The media we consume can be biased in either direction, and it can lead to mistaken assumptions and the ability for anyone to prove any point simply by twisting “facts” into one direction or another.  The positive side of this 24/7 media environment is that it is easier than ever to get access to verifiable facts if you are open to hearing them from a variety of sources.  It is making this new skill of being able to separate belief from fact so important, that a host of new high schools and universities across the world are now teaching “news literacy” as a core skill.
   
3. Take an unpopular position.
     One of the hallmarks of a yes-man or yes-woman is agreeing with everything the boss says.  Actually, agreeing with others in a large group is a popular thing to do – psychologist call it the “spiral of silence” where members of a group become fearful of isolation and gravitate to share the opinion of the vocal minority.   The best way to combat this effect is to use your point of view to occasionally take an unpopular position, as long as your point of view can justify why you have the opinion that you do. 
   

Chapter 5 - Build A Bookshelf

Lesson - Overspend On Yourself

Over the past five years, I have probably purchased more than 500 books.  That’s an average of about 2 per week … but my buying is rarely that steady.  Instead, I buy in bursts that usually coincide with some big new project I am working on.  Sometimes it may be associated with doing research for a new book.  Other times I may be working on a new consulting project. 

Starting something new usually inspires me to buy books.  But when you buy that many books, there is a very interesting and inconvenient fact that you are forced to confront ...

Not only will you never have enough time to read all the books that you buy—but you are routinely also buying some books that you will
never
read.

Why would anyone buy books they won’t read?

It may seem odd, but think about the last 5 books you have bought (not counting this one!).  Maybe you can’t even remember them.  But if you can, then how many of them have you actually read cover to cover.  People buy books they don’t read all the time.  Sometimes because they like the cover.  Often with the best intentions to read them, but then something gets in the way. 

For me, books are an investment.  I buy them for the ideas buried inside that I hope will emerge at the right moment to help me solve a challenge I have or change my thinking about a topic. And sometimes that moment never comes.  Still, I overspend on books – but that’s probably not too surprising to hear from a writer.

What about people who owe their success to something besides writing?

Spend Like A Millionaire Self Help Guru …

Recently I was invited to join an exclusive event that was filled with about 100 high profile speakers, coaches and self help gurus.  Among the participants were influencers who had spent time and worked directly with some of the biggest names in the personal development space – from Tony Robbins to Deepak Chopra.

As the event went on, I listened hungrily for some common fact or insight that they all shared to explain their many successes.  They talked about revenue models and presentation styles.  They shared everything from selling techniques to creating information products that people couldn’t wait to buy. 

It was one conversation, though, that stood out.  A moderator for the event posed a simple question: “how much do you spend in an average year on personal development?”  This included everything from videos to books to attending exclusive events.  Almost everyone admitted to spending well over $10,000 a year on this … and several spent more than$100,000 a year. 

Overspending on yourself changes everything.

Listening to these highly successful people – many of whom were easily making over a million dollars a year … this belief in overspending on themselves became clear.  And even though my more modest version of that included buying several hundred books a year, the lesson was clear.

It is easy to think of investing in yourself as something that you do in order to earn a college degree or an MBA.  What these highly successful people were saying is that this needs to become a lifelong philosophy.  Earning a degree is just the start – and for some highly successful and unconventional people, it may even be a traditional step they end up skipping.  Instead of a degree, they find other ways to overspend on themselves to further their learning.

How To Overspend On Yourself

As a quick caution when putting this tip into action – any time you hear the advice to “overspend,” it doesn’t mean that you should put yourself into heavy debt or pay expenses that you can’t afford.  Here are 3 good ways to think about overspending on yourself right now that will help you make the right decisions:

1. Go beyond the superficial.
     Overspending on a new haircut or better shoes is tempting.  This secret is not about those things.  Instead, it is a reminder that some of the most successful people in the world stay that way because they have an ability to overspend on themselves when it really matters—for learning and development.
   
2. Invest in experiences.
     I was never a fan of taking someone to the movies for a date.  A movie is a great place to sit and watch a screen, but a bad place for conversation.  Experiences are also like that.  Some are great for learning and making connections with interesting people.  And some are great for sitting back and observing.  You need to get better are spotting which ones are which – and being ready to invest your time, and sometimes your money, into joining those experiences that will pay off in the long run … even if they happen to be quite expensive.
   
3. Build your bookshelf
   .  Think of this group of learning moments and collection of experiences as part of your own bookshelf.  This may not literally be a bookshelf (as it happens to be in my case), but think about adopting the mindset of a collector who uses this combination of interactions and experiences to get smarter and build the right foundation for their own success.
   

Chapter 6 - Take The Window Seat

Lesson - Control Your Own Destiny

This may sound strange, but I have a system for my socks.

Every frequent business traveler does.  We pack our clothes in a certain way.  We find travel sized versions of everything.  We spend thousands of dollars on luggage, and never check in a bag.  In fact, we business travelers are such a predictable bunch that our habits were caricaturized perfectly by George Clooney as he played the ultimate frequent flier in the 2009 film,
Up In The Air
. 

At one moment in the film, he tries to educate his young colleague on exactly how to optimize the experience of going through airport security:

“Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love 'em.”   

Yes, the single goal of a business traveler is to optimize time.  The faster we can make the process of traveling, the better.

So it may come as a surprise that I tend to avoid one of the most common business traveler choices there is – the aisle seat. 

I always choose to take the window seat instead. 

It is less efficient and takes far longer to get out of the plane.  It is much harder to access the bathroom.  It is inconvenient to be served any meal or drinks.  And you can’t access any items you may have put into the overhead bins as easily.  No wonder it is far more unpopular among business travelers.  The reason I choose it, though, is not the reason you may expect …

It’s not about the view.

Last year CNN ran a poll asking people to choose whether they preferred the window seat or the aisle.  While the poll ended up almost equally split – the experts interviewed shared that business travelers en masse tend to prefer the aisle seat. 

So why do I choose the window seat? 

When you are in the window seat, you have more control over your experience.  You choose whether to keep the window shade open or closed.  When you need to go to the bathroom, everyone else needs to get up to let you out.  If you don’t and choose to stay in your seat – no one disturbs you.  And then, of course, there’s the view.  I can never get tired of looking out an airplane window. 

Taking the window seat changes everything.

Where you choose to sit on the plane can change your experience of travelling.  It literally opens your experience to the world outside your seat.  Controlling your own destiny is a principle that anyone who has played for a sports team in competitions understands as well. 

Champions don’t lose their way forward …

In every sport that features championships, there are generally two ways to make it to the final rounds of competition.  You can beat the teams that you need to beat and earn your spot.  That’s the best way.  But then, there’s the other way.  You hope that another team loses.  You back into a spot.  You accidentally make it.