ALWAYS FAITHFUL (14 page)

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Nic woke up feeling pretty much like she had the night before. She was confused. Sleep hadn’t cured her ills like she thought it would and she still had more questions than answers. The only person to give her those answers was Claire. Swinging her feet to the floor and stretching, she replayed the past couple of days over again to see if she missed something, anything, in her dealings with Claire.

Did Claire tell her she was gay and she missed it? Was she sending a signal that Nic didn’t see? What was that comment Claire made about “how looks could be deceiving when it came to her and Mike”? Did she mean that she was really gay and that she was just using Mike? For what? What did Mike have that Claire couldn’t get on her own? She was a college graduate, liberal studies with a teaching credential. So why was Claire married to Mike when she could clearly take care of herself? Did Mike know Claire was gay and if he did, how did he handle it? Fuck, Mike was a stand-up guy and he deserved better than that. Nic was getting mad now. How could Claire deceive him like that? And what about Grace?

Then there was the kiss. God that kiss. She felt her body stirring again, as she thought about how good Claire’s lips tasted-sweet, hungry, and wanting. She wondered if Claire felt the same way after the kiss. Had she wanted more, like Nic did? Now Nic wasn’t sure about anything.

Nic wondered how her life had turned so upside down. She hadn’t felt this unsettled since just after the accident when no one would tell her what happened. She had barely started putting her life back in order and now it was all ass-backwards. Her emotions were raw and she was on edge. It wasn’t so different from how she felt when she had come out to her parents. She rested her face against the cold tiles and let the hot water pummel her back as she remembered the first time she had fallen for another woman.

Nic needed to talk to Claire. She needed answers, because those answers were far more important than she had previously thought.

N
ic arrived at Claire’s and couldn’t help but think how much her life had changed since their encounter. Meeting Claire had made her think about her life after the military. It had made her think about family and what she wanted out of life. She knew the life she really wanted would have to happen out of the military because what she wanted couldn’t be while she was in. Claire had changed everything with a single... kiss.

Before Nic could knock on Claire’s door, it swung open and the brunette from the previous night was standing before her, flashing that same seductive smile. Nic felt herself being cruised again.

“Well, Major Caldwell, you look absolutely edible in your leather outfit. I bet that gets you laid, doesn’t it?” Jordan asked.

“It’s Jordan, right? Look, Jordan, I need to talk to Claire. Can you tell her I’m here and would like to talk to her?” Nic said, feeling like she was the guest of honor at an all-you-can-eat lesbian buffet.

“No.”

“What do you mean no? Look, I know you’re her friend and all, and I am sure you want to protect her but I’m not the enemy, trust me.”

“Listen Major, the reason I was at the door so quickly was because I thought you were Claire. She took off a few hours ago on her bike and forgot her cell phone. She isn’t back yet so I’ve been a little worried about her.”

“Did she say where she was going or when she would be back?”

“No, she just said she needed some space and time. Typical Claire.”

“Well why don’t I go out and see if I can find her? Did you see which way she went?”

Jordan pointed. “She did say something about the back roads on post being peaceful and relaxing.”

“Well that’s a start.” It was a statement more than a question as Nic assumed control of the situation. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Depends. Are you asking me out?” Jordan asked jokingly.

“Doubtful. You are persistent though, aren’t you?” Nic chuckled. She knew she should be flattered but she didn’t want to lead Jordan on in any way. Her focus was Claire and the more she thought about it, the more she knew that her focus would always be Claire.

“What do you wanna know?”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but how long have you known Claire?”

“Since college. Why?”

“Well… Did you mean what you said last night about your friend being gay?”

“Nic, are you asking me if Claire is a lesbian?”

“Yes, I guess I am.”

“Look, what I said last night wasn’t a lie, but I was there for me, not Claire. She was just along for the ride. I thought she could do with a change of scenery, so I got her out of the house.”

“Are you two involved?” Nic asked, hoping that she hadn’t just crossed a line.

Jordan stayed silent for so long Nic began to wonder if she was going to receive an answer at all. She watched as various emotions ran through Jordan’s eyes. “No, we aren’t involved. She’s my best friend. But let me say this, Major Caldwell,” she continued, taking a step closer to Nic, “If anyone hurts my friend, they would have to deal with me and trust me, you don’t want to deal with me when I am pissed.”

“Well, I guess I’d better get going and see if I can find Claire. Thanks, Jordan. I appreciate your candor. Just for the record, I don’t want to see Claire get hurt either.” Turning, Nic felt Jordan’s eye burning a hole right through her as she walked back to her bike.

C
laire sat on the side of the road, chastising herself for not looking at the gas gauge before leaving. She had left the house so fast that she had forgotten her cell phone, and now she was stuck out in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone and no way of getting help. She had been there for 45 minutes without a single car passing by. She took her jacket off and slung it over the seat of her bike and wiped her face off with her head rag. It was hot out in the back country and she definitely had not prepared to be stranded. She didn’t have water, a snack, or anything that would keep her hydrated for a long wait outside. Ten more minutes and she would walk for help. She’d just have to hope that no one would bother her bike if she left it alone for a while.

She had wanted time and space to think, and that was all she had done for the past 2 hours. She had thought about Mike and Grace, but mostly she had thought about last night and Nic. As long as the possibility of Nic being straight was out there, she could kid herself that Nic wasn’t an option in her life. In all actuality, though, the Major
wasn’t
an option and Claire knew it. Nic was a Marine and, unless the military had changed its policy in the past 10 hours, Nic was not about to give up her career for Claire, and Claire wasn’t about to ask her to do that on a “maybe” while they got to know each other better. Claire knew Nic’s type-they bled camouflage when wounded. Duty, honor, and country before everything else. Nic had a duty to do and Claire was just a duty as far as Nic was concerned.

Claire remembered the kiss they had shared in the bathroom. That had nothing to do with duty, did it? Why had Nic kissed her? If she was honest with herself, she had kissed Nic, not the other way around. Nevertheless, Nic kissed her back. She could still feel Nic’s hands buried in her hair, pulling her closer. Claire’s core clenched as she thought about that kiss, about seeing Nic naked, well almost naked, and how gorgeous she was. Claire had thought about Nic a lot when she was finally alone at night. That was dangerous territory to explore and Claire knew it. She found herself attracted to Nic and wouldn’t deny it. She was everything Mike was and more. She spoke about a future outside the Corps, something Mike had never done. She made Claire weak when she was around, and that was something Mike had never done either.

Now Claire wondered why she had ever married Mike. Had she reacted too quickly to his promise of family, travel and stability? Couldn’t she have had that with a woman? Claire found herself questioning every decision she had made since college, and now she had an opportunity to make a change that she could live with. She didn’t need her father’s approval any longer. She could change her life so that she and Grace would be happy, and stop moving from base to base, waiting for that next rank. She could only have had a truly stable life if she had left Mike.

She winced and kicked at the loose sand around her feet. Part of that decision had been made for her. She wiped away a tear as it made its way down her cheek.

Was it fair for Grace to grow up in a lesbian relationship?
Why not?
She had grown up in what amounted to a single parent household with a caring,
but absentee father. Grace was ahead of the game. She had a mother who adored her, and that was all that really mattered.

What would she do after the funeral was over, when everyone went home and it was just her and Grace? She needed to think about her future. What she would do for work, and where they would live. She liked California, and if she was going to finally accept who she was, she could think of worse places to live while raising a daughter. She had requested an extension to stay in housing when the Corps had lost Mike’s body so she had 30 days after that time to leave. That would give her some time to find a place and look for a job, something she had been putting off in the face of all the chaos.

Well, tomorrow was as good a time as any to get started on that task and start boxing things up in the house. She sighed in frustration; her new resolve sparking a desire to get her life started. She had so much to do, and here she was stranded on the side of the road waiting for any Good Samaritan to stop by and lend a hand. Claire looked down the road seeing an object getting closer to her. She stood up, ready to finally wave down the motorist.

N
ic was just about ready to give up and call the M.P.’s when she decided to turn down the last road she could think of. Making a right, she noticed something about half a mile down the road and sighed in relief to finally have found Claire. She was worried sick that Claire had crashed and she was in a hospital somewhere, or worse, that she had met someone who had made an offer of help and instead kidnapped her. Not that it was in any way likely on base, but Nic couldn’t believe how irrational her thought processes had become since meeting Claire. Kissing her in the bathroom, dreaming about her at night, seeing her in a gay bar, and now panicking about her impending demise at the hands of an unknown assailant.
Get a grip. She’s fine.
Nic eased her grip on the handlebars, her white knuckles finally getting some blood flow now that she had found Claire safe and sound.

“Hey stranger,” Nic said, the relief evident in her voice as she pulled her bike in behind Claire’s, trying to focus on Claire’s face rather than how fucking incredible she looked in her motorcycle clothes.

“Gosh, am I glad to see you. It seems that I’ve forgotten my phone and I ran out of gas. Stupid, huh?” Claire looked at Nic’s broad smile, wishing she could kiss those sexy, full lips.

“Naw, it’s happened to me before. I’m just glad I finally found you. I’ve been looking all over post. I was getting ready to call out the dogs.” Laughing, Nic pulled off her gloves and helmet and set them on the tank, resting her hands on top of the helmet. “So, how long have you been out here?”

“About 45 minutes. I thought about pushing the bike but I wouldn’t have gotten very far. It’s pretty heavy, and the heat would have gotten the better of me so I was waiting for a Good Samaritan to come by and save me. Lucky for me, you happen to be that Good Samaritan.”

Nic swung off her bike and walked over to Claire’s Harley, hoping she was right and that Claire really was flirting with her. She circled the cold machine. She held out her hand. “Keys?”

Claire handed the keys to her bike and watched as Nic took the gas cap off the top of the tank, peering inside the empty vessel.

“Looks like you’re dry, but it could be something else. Did you turn the petcock so that it hit the reserve?”

“Of course Nic. I’m not stupid,” Claire said in a huff. She immediately held her hands up apologetically. “Sorry, I guess the heat is getting to me. I turned it about 5 minutes before it quit. I thought I had more time.” She regretted her tough tone immediately when she saw Nic’s face fall.

“No harm, no foul.” Nic looked down at the engine trying to hide her disappointment at Claire’s sudden anger.

“Well, why don’t we call a tow truck just to make sure that everything is all right. Better to be safe than risk anything. Right?” Nic hoped Claire would agree with her reasoning. She wanted to make sure that it was only an empty gas tank and not something more serious. She wouldn’t forgive herself if Claire got hurt due to an oversight on her part.

“Do you really think that’s necessary?”

“I do. I just want to make sure and have it checked out. But if you want to ride it back, I’ll go get some gas.”

“No, you’re probably right. Better safe than sorry. I guess that means you’ll need to give me a ride back.” She smiled at the thought of riding behind Nic.

“Well, if you insist. I mean you could walk back if you want. I don’t want to assume anything.” Nic could see the shocked look on Claire’s face at the thought of walking all the way back to her house.

“Cute, smarty pants. I think I’ll just take the offer of a ride back. I can trust you, can’t I?” Claire let the innuendo hang out there as she spoke again, “I mean it’s probably been a while since you rode two-up, hasn’t it?” Claire could banter with the best of them and she knew Nic was definitely able to give her a ride back. She liked the way Nic’s eyes sparkled in the mid day light, lighting up her smile and creating a glow around her.

“I think I can handle you any time lady. Just wait and see.” Nic said, letting her own innuendo hang in the same sexually charged air between them.

“I guess we’ll see.”

“I’ll call and get a truck on its way and then you can call Jordan and let her know you’re okay.”

“Good idea.”

Nic made the arrangements to have Claire’s bike picked up by a special tow truck for motorcycles. Claire then called Jordan to let her know that Nic had found her and that they would be home shortly. Nic smiled as Claire laughed at something Grace was saying to her mom.

From the gist of the conversation with Grace, she could hear that Auntie Jordan was taking Grace to the beach for the afternoon to make sand castles. What a break for Nic. They wouldn’t have to be in a hurry to get home so maybe they could talk after all. As she watched Claire talk and laugh on the phone, she thought about how she was going to broach the subject of last night with Claire. She thought her best bet would be to come right out and ask, but she wasn’t sure how Claire would respond to the direct approach. Would she be defensive?
What if she doesn’t want to talk about it?
She didn’t want to scare Claire off. Claire closed the phone and handed it back to Nic.

“So, Nic, you’re a lesbian?” Claire chuckled at the shocked look on Nic’s face.

“Well, I guess you’re a lesbian too, huh? I mean, you were in a gay bar last night too.” Nic knew she sounded like a petulant child and she winced.

“Hey, don’t try to change the subject here, this is about you not me.”

“What?”

“You heard me. This is about you. I was there with my friend, but you were alone. Right?”

“Wait, wait just a minute. Are you denying you’re a lesbian? Before you answer that, let me say that Jordan has already pretty much outed you without knowing it.” Nic said. “So let’s try this again.” She held out her hand.

“Hi. I’m Nic and I am a lesbian.” Nic flashed Claire a smile that made her want to drop to her knees and thank god for miracles.

The tingle that shot through Claire as she grabbed Nic’s hand went right to her clit. She briefly closed her eyes and reveled in the warm grasp. She stopped herself before she let out a moan at Nic’s touch.

“So Claire, do you have something you want to tell me?” Nic asked seductively as she stepped closer.

Claire was looking directly at Nic’s chest, having a hard time looking her in the eye, unable to form the words that needed to come out. She could feel her heart start to beat faster at their contact and knew she was doomed as her body responded. She could feel Nic’s warm breath on her neck and turned so her lips grazed Nic’s. She pulled Nic in closer and kissed her. Her lips felt as if they were on fire.

A soft moan slipped from Claire as she started to move her hips against Nic’s thigh, her body betraying her at every level and Claire knew there was no going back. She slowly opened her mouth as Nic’s tongue searched for entry, deepening their contact further. She felt Nic’s mouth move from hers to travel along her chin and down to her neck where Nic’s kisses left searing patches of desire. She pulled Nic closer to her body and began to slide up and down the long leg that had wedged itself between her thighs.

Claire threw her head back as Nic continued down towards her chest. “Fuck,” slipped from Claire’s lips as she felt the sexual heat roll off Nic’s body.

“Nic, please. We need to stop. Please. What if someone drives by and sees us?”

Nic could hardly hear Claire over the blood pounding in her ears. Her whole body flushed as she made her way down the soft skin of Claire’s chest. Her hands moved to the front of Claire’s chest, palming her breasts, lifting them and rubbing her thumbs over the erect nipples that begged to be released from their confines.

“Nic,” whispered Claire, desperate for more contact but scared that someone would drive by and see the enamored couple.

As if someone had splashed cold water on her, Nic stepped back and rubbed her hands down her jeans, trying to replace the touch of Claire’s breast with a different kind of friction. “God, Claire, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’m —”

“Nic, stop.” Stepping closer to Nic, Claire ran her hand along Nic’s face looking into her confused eyes.

“Nic, I wanted that just as much as you did. I guess that answers your question, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess it does, but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”

“What? What do you mean? I thought you would be relieved, I mean well…I don’t know what I mean.” Claire felt a pang of panic at the thought that Nic might not want something with her after all.

“Claire, I think we need to talk.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything you want to tell me.”