Always on My Mind (18 page)

Read Always on My Mind Online

Authors: Jill Shalvis

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Women, #Erotica

BOOK: Always on My Mind
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“Drunk Goldilocks here wants to crash your party,” Ben said.


Tipsy
,” Leah said, irritated.

Jack’s other eye opened, both landing unerringly on Leah.

Leah gave him a little wave, trying to look like the best thing to happen to him that night. She wasn’t sure she was successful, but he did reach up and pull out his ear buds. “You got her drunk?” he asked Ben with a hint of disbelief.

“Not me,” Ben said. “She managed that all on her own.”

Leah sighed. “Tipsy!” Though why she bothered, she had no idea. She kicked off her shoes and dropped her purse to the deck.

“What are you doing?” Ben asked.

She pulled off her sweater. “I’m about to seduce my pretend boyfriend. Go away, Ben.”

Ben turned to Jack, who’d risen to his feet in the hot tub. “You need to stop her.”

“I’m going to exercise my right to remain silent,” Jack said.

Which worked, because Leah had no intention of stopping. She let her sweater fall. She was disappointed to note that Jack was indeed wearing black swim trunks, but at least they clung to his every inch. She
really
liked his every inch… “Go away, Ben.”

“Jack,” Ben said warningly.

“You heard the woman.” Jack never took his eyes off Leah. “Go away, Ben.”

Ben tossed up his hands. “You two deserve each other,” he muttered and walked away.

When they were alone, Jack looked at her. “What are you doing here?” He sounded wary, which in a distant part of her brain she recognized was probably wise of him.

But she kept stripping. “I’m just realizing that the only time my pretend boyfriend and I get along is when we’re not pretending. I want to not pretend, just for a little while.” She pulled off her top.

“Leah…seriously.
What are you doing?

“Seriously? You’re the investigator. You figure it out.” She shimmied out of her denim skirt, letting it fall to her ankles. She took a peek at herself and sighed in relief.
Not
her laundry day underwear this time, thankfully. A red lace thong.

Jack’s gaze raked down her body, slowly and thoroughly. “Stop.”

She shivered at his commanding tone and then stepped right into the tub and plastered herself against his big, wet, warm body. “You sound all official and in charge.”

“In charge?” His arms closed around her, and he sank with her into the deliciously hot water. “I have no delusions of being in charge of you.”

She smiled. “You saying I have all the power?”

“You always have,” he murmured and nipped at her throat, working his way south. “What are we doing, Leah?”

She let her head fall back to give him room to work as steam and bubbles and Jack surrounded her. “I thought we’d wing it.”

W
hen Jack woke up, he knew without opening his eyes that Leah was gone. She had to get up early for the bakery, but he hadn’t even heard her leave. Still, he reached out to the spot where she’d been in his bed and…came in contact with fur.

Kevin lifted his head and panted a happy smile. Not quite the smile he’d hoped for.

“We’ve had this discussion.” Jack gave him a shove. “You have your own damn bed.”

Kevin licked his chin.

Definitely not the kiss he’d been hoping for.

As for what that meant, both that he was disappointed to be alone and that Leah had sneaked off, he had no idea.

He got up, made Kevin run with him, then spent the entire day digging through the rubble of the Town Hall fire. By dinnertime he was filthy, exhausted, and ready to eat his left arm.

Not officially on duty, he stopped by the station to shower off the ash and filth and was surprised to find an off-duty Tim at Jack’s desk. “What are you doing?”

“Research. Hey, can anyone take that arson certification that you and the deputy chief have?”

“You have to be recommended.”

“So…” Tim flashed a grin. “Recommend me?”

“Why?”

“Can’t let you have all the fun.” He logged off, gathered some papers off the printer, and headed to the door.

Jack put a hand out to stop him. “Why do you want to take the class?”

“Maybe I’m aspiring to take your job.” Tim waggled a brow. “Come on, man. Don’t be a TBBD.”

“TBBD?”

“Typical big boss dick.” He paused and smiled again. “No offense intended, of course. So…can I take the class?”

Jack met Tim’s earnest gaze. “It’s not up to me. I’ll check with the deputy fire chief.”

“You and he go way back. He was your dad’s BFF.”

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“No? How does it work?”

“You earn it,” Jack said.

Tim nodded. “Earn it,” he repeated. “I can totally do that.”

He left, and Jack stood there a moment, wondering if he himself had earned anything at all, or if once again, he’d simply followed the career path laid out for him.

  

 

The bakery’s new ovens came that afternoon, and it was quite an event. It required a handful of really big installation guys, which brought their neighbors out of their shops to watch.

Elsie had accepted the change and seemed excited, handing out free cookies to all the workers. The ovens were still being set when Max Fitzgerald came by. The guys had just opened up the wall to install the new ventilation hoods, and Max just about had a seizure.

“You’re tearing down a hundred-and-fifty-year-old wall like it’s nothing.” He leaned on his cane, a hand on his heart like he was having a heart attack.

“The wall’s going right back up,” Elsie told him. “You know it is. You represented the historical society as a part of the permit process Leah got from the building department.” She smiled. “And hell, maybe the wall will even be plumb this time around.”

Max didn’t smile. He was staring in horror at the broken bricks at his feet. “Do you have any idea how
old
these bricks are?”

“One hundred and fifty years?” Leah asked.

He pointed his cane at her. “No one likes a smartass, missy.”

Elsie’s good-natured smile faded. “Actually,” she said slowly, linking her arm in Leah’s, “I do.”

Max narrowed his pale-blue, rheumy eyes in her direction. “I’m disappointed in you, Elsie. Very disappointed.”

“So am I,” she assured him. “I’m disappointed that I spent eighty bucks on a hot new dress for the Firemen’s Ball since I won’t be going with you after all.”

Max shook his head and left, and Elsie sighed. “Damn, I really wanted to wear that dress.”

“You will,” Leah said. “You’ll get another date.”

Elsie laughed. “Honey, in my world, men don’t just grow on trees.”

There came a knock at the opened back door. Mr. Lyons stood there with a small bouquet of lilies. “Hello, ladies. Elsie…” He hesitated. “Ah, hell. I’m no good at this. I was next door at the florist shop collecting the rent when I heard you yelling at Max.”

“I’ll get you our rent too,” Leah said.

“No, I— That’s not why I’m here.” He thrust the flowers at Elsie. “I bought these for you from Ali. Or I
will
buy them. I sort of just grabbed them and ran out of there, so hopefully she doesn’t call the cops. Elsie…”

“Yes,” she said firmly, taking the flowers. “Most definitely yes.”

He blinked. “Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll be your date. That is what you were going to ask, right?”

He blushed to the top of his bald dome. “To start.”

Leah watched her grandma beam at him. Mr. Lyons was two inches shorter than her, and twice as round—not that Elsie seemed to notice as she smelled the flowers and then leaned in to kiss him.

There was a sweetness to them that tightened Leah’s heart. Happiness always seemed so…mysterious. So elusive. But looking at Elsie and Mr. Lyons, it didn’t seem so elusive at all. It seemed as simple as just choosing to be happy. She could do that, right? She deserved that. Didn’t she?

Baby steps, she decided. One thing at a time. Getting her grandma set up so everything would run smoothly in her absence was one of those steps, no matter what Elsie decided to do.

Getting her own life in line would be step two. Whichever direction that step took her…

By the end of the day, the ovens were in, the wall patched, and the kitchen cleaned up. Leah looked around with a huge sense of accomplishment. The place had really turned around, and business was up. Way up. She’d had a big hand in that, and she felt pride. And relief. She could really go and things would be okay.

Everything would be okay. The bakery. Elsie. Lucky Harbor. Jack.

And if she wasn’t so sure about herself yet, well, that would come.

  

 

Jack spent the morning hours scouring the evidence gathered so far on the Town Hall fire. He pulled out everything they had on the other possible arsons. His gut said he’d missed something, something big.

When he couldn’t find it on the page, he hit the fire sites again. He walked each of them as if it were the first time. Nothing stuck out at him.

What were they missing?

He pulled out the notes again. The footprint at the convenience store site didn’t match any footprints at the other two sites. Which, if the vagrant had been wearing “acquired” shoes, didn’t necessarily mean a thing. Jack turned to the tread forensics and realized they’d never gotten any back for the auto shop fire. He called Ronald.

“Doing my job again?” Ronald asked.

“No.” Jack blew out a breath. “Okay, maybe. We’re missing forensics on—”

“The auto parts fire. I know, it’s coming. I’ll forward it as soon as I get it. Also, I’m sending a recommendation for you to be my replacement.”

“What?”

“I have a bucket list.”

Jack felt his heart stop. “You’re sick?”

“No. I’m healthy as an ox. I just want to get to my bucket list while I can still zip-line in Costa Rica and eat the spicy food in Thailand. And I want to be fit enough to walk through Scotland. There’s some castles there that someone in my life wants to visit.”

His mom. He was talking about Dee.

“I’m not asking your permission,” Ronald said. “But it’d be great if you didn’t object.”

“My mom isn’t in a good place, Ronald.”

“No shit. But she’s getting there. And I intend to help her. To be there for her. To love her. For real, Jack. None of this
pretend
bullshit.”

Jack grimaced. “You know?”

“I’m an investigator, as you’re about to be. And if you’re half the man I think you are, you’ll fix things up right with your girl. She’s a cutie, and she’s good for you. It’s been fun seeing you knocked off your high and mighty horse for a change.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

But Ronald had disconnected.

T
he next day, the town came alive as it prepared for the annual arts and crafts fair at the pier. Every year Leah’s grandma set up a booth and sold goodies for people to eat as they walked the fair and made merry.

This year, Jack’s mom had a booth right next to theirs to sell her scarves and blankets and other knitted wares. Knowing Jack was working and unable to help, and that Elsie wanted to run their booth and had Riley to help her, Leah went to be there for Dee.

“How are you?” Leah asked, always the first question of the day.

Dee smiled. “I’m better today.”

“Today?” Leah’s senses sharpened. “What happened?”

“Oh, it’s silly,” Dee said. “A few weeks back one of my meds got changed, and I like to read all the paperwork with each prescription. Anyway, one of the side effects was paralysis, of all things. And I swear to God, my legs and arms just stopped working.”

Listening to the story, Leah felt like her heart stopped working. “Oh my God. What did you do?”

Dee laughed softly. “Well, Jack has picked up my meds ever since, and now all the paperwork is always mysteriously missing.”

Leah’s throat tightened, even through the urge to laugh along with Dee.
Jack…

As she worked on setting up Dee’s booth, she caught sight of him a few times in his uniform and dark sunglasses. He was standing in for Ronald today, walking the length of the booths and checking out everyone’s setup.

As if he felt the weight of her stare, he turned and met her gaze. They hadn’t spoken since she’d left his bed the other morning after the Jacuzzi event, and it most definitely
had
been an event. Even now, flashes of Jack holding her, his hands tight on her hips as he thrust into her, his head back, face in a mask of pleasure, gave her a hot flash.

Dee sighed dreamily. “You two are so romantic.”

Leah tore her gaze off Jack and went back to work setting up Dee’s canopy. It was a collapsible thing, and it did not want to work. “You’ve been reading too many romance novels,” she said, struggling.

“Careful with that. It’ll catch your fingers. And I like the happy endings. We should all get a happy ending.”

“Those are illegal in some states, you know.”

Dee laughed. “I’m serious. Would an HEA be so bad?”

Leah stopped and looked at her. “If you want one, all you have to do is get it.”

“Oh. Well.” Dee brushed that off with a wave of her hand. “I’m too old. But you’re not. Your HEA is right there in front of you.”

“Hmm.” Leah fought with the stupid canopy for a moment, then realized Dee was sitting there smiling widely at her. “What?” she asked. “Am I doing it wrong? Do I have toilet paper on my shoes? Something disgusting in my teeth?”

“No, you’re perfect. You’re perfect for him.”

“Perfect?” Leah laughed. “Dee, I’m just about as far from perfect as a woman can get.”

“You’re warm, caring, smart, and you always put him first.”

“I—”

“You’ll make a great wife, you know.”

Oh boy. This had been all Leah’s idea, this whole her and Jack façade, but every day that it went on made her feel worse and worse. Now, with her heart pounding dully, it was hard to speak, but she knew she had to find the words. She had to tell the truth because she wasn’t going to be Jack’s wife anytime soon.

Or in this lifetime. “Dee.”

“I know, I’m just a silly old woman. But it makes my heart soar to see my son look so happy. It just seems like a wedding should be the next step. And then…” Dee laughed musically. “Grandkids.” She clapped her hands together. “Can you imagine?”

All too easily… Oh God, this was bad. How could she do it; how could she crush Dee and tell her that they’d only been pretending? The answer was simple.

She couldn’t.

“Look at you,” Dee said to someone behind Leah. “You look just like your dad. So handsome.”

Leah turned and came face-to-face with Jack.

Reaching above her, he took over her hold on the canopy.

“I could have gotten it,” she said.

“I know.” Then he locked it into place with annoying ease, smelling ridiculously amazing while he was at it. “Just trying to help,” he said, and leaned in and kissed his mom on the cheek. “You doing good?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I’m great. Thanks for the cookies. The nurses all think you’re the sweetest thing. They actually believe you made those cookies.” She flashed a smile at Leah. “Even though he can’t bake to save his life.”

“I can so,” Jack said.

“Yeah?” Leah asked. She’d never seen him cook anything. “What do you bake?”

“Frozen cookie dough.”

Leah burst out laughing.

Dee laughed too. “Well, now the nurses want you to make some for
them
, whatever they were.”

Leah eyed him. “You going to make the nurses cookies, Jack? Up the numbers of your fan club?”

“It’d help you out on that Facebook poll,” Dee said. “You’re still lagging behind Ben, Tim, and that TV cutie. What’s his name? Rafe?”

Jack swore beneath his breath, something about “damn options” before turning to Leah. He rubbed his jaw, looking a little unsure of his welcome. She sighed and gave him a smile. “You going to be in the firemen’s dunking booth today?”

He glanced in the direction of where the booth was being built just across the pier and grimaced. “I’m first up, actually.”

Leah pulled a ticket from her pocket. She’d gotten it with her entrance fee and could have used it to ride the Ferris wheel or play an arcade game. But she was saving it to dunk Jack. “I’m all ready.”

“Good thing you throw like a girl.”

“You’re going to eat those words,” she promised him.

He leaned in and put his mouth to her ear. “Make me.” Then he swatted her on the ass and strode off.

Oh, hell no. “Dee,” she said. “I’ve got to—”

“Go dunk him.” Dee nodded and handed over her free ticket. “Get him for me too.”

Leah stalked over there and got in line behind Ben.

He turned and looked at her, and his mouth quirked. He handed her a string of five tickets and then nudged her ahead of him.

“You don’t mind?” she asked.

“I’m only going to mind if you miss.”

She stepped up to the white line and met Jack’s gaze. He’d stripped out of his BDUs, beneath which he wore navy board shorts. His legs were so long that his toes nearly touched the water of the tank as he sat there looking relaxed and at ease, swinging his feet. Not a care in the world.

He didn’t think she could dunk him.

Determined to prove him wrong, she wound up and threw. The ball went wide.

“Shake it off,” Ben said from behind her, and she adjusted her stance.

From inside the dunking booth, Jack narrowed his gaze at Ben.

Ben didn’t look concerned. “You see the thing you want to hit, right? That round target that’s like fifteen feet wide?”

“I see it,” she grumbled.
Jeez
. “And it’s only a foot wide, max.”

“Pretend it’s your almost fiancé’s face.”

“Thanks, man,” Jack said.

But Leah did just that. And missed again. She went through two more balls, and then her last, and someone tapped her on the shoulder.

Aubrey.

Leah narrowed her eyes. “You’re on my Do Not Acknowledge list after letting me go to Jack’s house inebriated.”

“You weren’t inebriated. You were shit-faced.” She handed Leah three more tickets. “Truce?”


You let me go to Jack’s house
,” Leah repeated.

“You were…determined.”

“You did it for your own amusement,” Leah said.

“Well, of course I did,” Aubrey said. “It’s Lucky Harbor. It wasn’t like I had any other entertainment available. And how’d it work out for you?”

Leah met Jack’s gaze and sighed. It’d worked out pretty damn good. She used Aubrey’s tickets and…missed some more.

In the tank, Jack leaned back, hands behind his head now, definitely relaxed.

“Jesus,” Ben muttered, and pushed Leah up past the throwing line, halfway to the dunking tape.

“Hey,” Jack said, straightening up. “Cheating.”

The crowd behind her cheered. They didn’t care. They loved Jack, but they definitely wanted to see their favorite firefighter dunked.

Leah wanted Jack dunked too. She wound up and threw the ball. No one was more surprised than her when it found its target, and with a loud splash, Jack hit the water.

Leah took a lot of fist bumps and pats on the back, and then, before Jack could get out of the tank, she hightailed it out of there, racing back to Dee’s booth. Breathless, she scooped up her purse. “Gotta go, Dee.”

“I know.” Dee grinned. “You’d better run fast, honey. He was all-state track, remember?”

No one knew better than Leah just how fast Jack could be when he put his mind to something. She headed straight for Ali’s booth, where she found Ali and Luke kissing. And not just any little kiss either, but a full-bodied lip-lock. She waited, glancing at her watch, tapping her foot. Finally, she tossed up her hands. “Hello! On a schedule here.”

Ali tore her mouth from Luke’s and grinned at Leah. “You’re not on a schedule. You’re running scared because you dunked Jack.”

“Oh and nice job, Ace,” Luke said, an arm slung around Ali. “You can play on our baseball team anytime.”

“Really?” Leah asked, pleased.

“Hell no,” Luke said.

Leah sighed and turned to go, and she ran smack into a brick wall.

A brick wall that was Jack’s wet chest. Big hands closed on her arms and held her there. “Going somewhere?” he asked smoothly.

She gulped. “Well, I have to—”

“Later,” he said and tugged her along with him.

Both Ali and Luke grinned and waved good-bye. Big, fat lots of help there. “Hey.” Leah tried to dig her heels in, but Jack was determined. And she already knew that trying to deter a determined Jack was about as easy as trying to stop a train in its tracks. “Jack—”

“Shh.”

Oh no. He didn’t just— But before she could even finish that thought, Jack had pulled her down a set of stairs and onto the beach. He was a sight, standing in front of her with his board shorts riding low on his hips, making him look dangerous, alluring, and hotter than sin as he tugged her under the pier.

“Jack—”

He pressed her up against a pylon. Water slapped against the wood and on the rocky shore. Somewhere a seagull squawked, and another answered.

All of that barely registered, nothing mattered except Jack’s hot, hard body up against hers. “You’re all wet,” she complained, feeling her sundress getting soaked from his drenched board shorts.

“Whose fault is that? You were playing with me.” His mouth was near her ear, and he nipped at it. “Dangerous.” He sank his teeth into the column of her throat, and she gasped.

“You c-can’t take it personally,” she managed. “It was for a good cause.”

“Yeah? What cause was that?”

Yeah, Leah, what cause was that? “Well…it made me happy,” she said.

Lifting his head, he met her gaze. “I’ve got other ways to make you
happy
.” Proving it, he threaded his hand through her hair and tilted her head back for his kiss. Parting her lips, he slowly stroked her tongue with his own until she couldn’t remember her own name. And then he kissed her some more, until all her bones were gone, and certainly her resistance.

From up above, the sounds of the fair drifted down to them, music, laughter… It surrounded them like a bubble, their own intimate bubble, and as Jack groaned and tightened his grip on her, she knew she was in trouble. “Okay,” she murmured, all hot and damp and ready. “But we have to be quick.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple and sucked in some air. “We’re not doing it beneath the pier, Leah.”

“Dammit, you always do that. You get me all revved up and say no. You can’t just leave me like this.”

“I never say no,” he said, his thumb rasping over a nipple. “And I can’t leave you like what?”

She arched into his touch. “All hot and bothered. It’s rude, Jack.”

He laughed softly against her hair and slid his free hand down her body. “Just how hot and bothered are we talking?” That hand snaked beneath her sundress. Up the inside of her thigh.

“Very hot and very b-bothered— God!” she stuttered when his fingers slipped into her panties.

He let out a low groan, a sexy sound that pushed her to the very edge. “You remember what I told you, Leah?”

“Um—” She gasped when he nuzzled the sweet spot beneath her ear at the same time his fingers grazed over her heated, wet flesh. “I’m not sure—”

He stopped stroking her.

She wanted to cry. “Jack—”

“Think about it.”

She was thinking about his fingers, those work-roughened, callused fingers that were driving her slowly out of her mind. “You said it was dangerous to play with you—” One of those fingers slid into her, and her knees buckled.

“And yet it didn’t stop you,” he said against her collarbone, nipping her.

Oh God, those fingers. “Oh, Jack.
Please
—”

He dragged his mouth back to hers and took her lips on the exact right side of rough as he worked her with his fingers until she was grinding against him, panting for air. “Jack.” Her toes were curling. “Jack, we have to stop, I’m going to—”

“Come,” he murmured, absolutely not stopping. “I want to feel you come for me.” He kissed her again, absorbing her cry as she burst, shuddering wildly in his arms.

“I never get tired of that,” he said, slowing his fingers, softening his hold, bringing her down gently until she sagged against his chest.

She could feel him hard against her and reached for him just as he pulled his hand away and stepped back. While she stared up at him in a dazed afterglow, he lifted his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.

Her knees wobbled.

He gave her a smile that was so wicked she nearly came again, and then he was gone.

Leah sagged against the pylon, still trying to catch her balance in a world that was spinning more and more out of control every day.

She’d assumed they were done with this. Apparently not. In any case, whatever they were—or weren’t—Jack knew her body even better than she did.

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