Always (Time for Love Book 4) (20 page)

He smiled. “I meant for them to be songs. I was big into listening to music then. But of course, I know nothing about creating melodies. So yeah, I guess you can call them poems instead.”

“There are several of them there,” she said, looking back at the open folder.

“Uh-huh. You probably haven’t gone through the ones at the bottom yet—I have them in date order. But the later ones are love letters. I’d become so busy with work that my brain simply couldn’t come up with nice rhymes. So I wrote you letters instead.”

“You’ve never shown them to me,” she said, tears returning.

He shook his head. “You know why, Bren. And since I couldn’t tell you how I felt in person, I found that writing about my feelings helped me cope with them. They’re the reason why I wouldn’t let anyone touch those boxes. I didn’t know where that file was. And I also hadn’t wanted to come across it myself.”

Brenna went back to check the sheets. “The last one is dated almost four years ago,” she observed.

He took a deep breath. “You were on one of your breaks with Darren. It was leading up to Christmas, and you were so devastated. So I took you to a Renoir exhibit at the Art Gallery to help you take your mind off things. We were looking at one of the paintings when you said out of the blue how much it sucked when someone you love didn’t appreciate you fully. I said that you need to move on from Darren, and that
I
appreciated you fully. And you said...”

“I said I was lucky to have you. That you were the best big brother anyone could ever have,” Brenna murmured, her lip trembling.

He nodded. “I said to myself then that it was time for me to find someone who’d love me back. It was nothing but sheer stupidity to be hanging on to the hope that you’d see me as a love interest. So I made a commitment to myself to move on. As you can tell, I wasn’t very good at keeping that commitment.”

“I’m so glad you weren’t,” Brenna said, hugging him fiercely. Then she lifted her head to look into his eyes. “I love you, Ash. So much. I might have been late in realising that, but now I can’t imagine loving anyone else but you. I’ve never felt this way before with anyone, not even Darren.”

His brows rose.

“It’s true,” Brenna said quietly. “It’s different with you. I find myself being swept away rather than feeling like I’m pushing uphill, which is what I felt with Darren most of the time. Darren and I cared for each other, and I think that’s why we tried our hardest. But the real magic just wasn’t there for us. But with you... the moment I opened my eyes to the thought of you and me as a couple, I felt like I was being pulled by some force I can’t define. You’re like my black hole, Ash Payne. You sucked me in and I can’t escape. And I don’t want to escape. You’re the only one I want to be with.”

“Oh, baby,” he murmured, his eyes stinging and his heart expanding so much it almost hurt.

He kissed her softly, tenderly, his spirit soaring as it flew hand in hand with Brenna far beyond the stratosphere.

“The next time you get mad at me,” he said against her lips, “remember I’m a black hole, not an asshole.”

They laughed together, and he knew his life would be full of love and laughter, as long as Brenna was there to share it with him.

Now he needed to figure out how he would ask her to spend the rest of their lives together.

D
ecember 22nd...

Brenna’s eyes lit up when she saw a stretch Hummer parked outside the Ballina Byron Gateway Airport on the north coast of New South Wales. When the driver approached Magda and the Carmichael brothers, she knew this would be their transport to the Carmichaels’ countryside resort in the area.

“This is so cool,” she said to Amanda, who was standing next to her.

“I know,” Amanda answered. “When Sarah and I discussed holding a joint engagement party, we were originally thinking of Magda’s Place at the Hunter Valley. We’ve all fallen in love with that hotel, plus it’s next door to Connor’s family’s property. But Jeff suggested another place. Imagine my excitement when it turned out to be the Carmichael Sanctuary.”

Brenna chuckled. “I jumped out of my skin with glee when I heard.”

“Heard what?” Sarah asked from behind them.

“That we’re all staying at the Carmichael Sanctuary for two whole weeks to celebrate your engagements, Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I wonder if we’ll be rubbing shoulders with other famous people.”

Sarah grinned. “Only if they’re on the guest list. But you know what? Jeff told me they had to piss off some very important people,” she said in a low voice. “As you know, the place is uber exclusive and private, so it gets all booked up in advance by celebrity types who want to get out of the limelight and simply chill out during the holiday period. But Jeff gave instructions to cancel all bookings at the resort to accommodate us and our families. When Jeff told me the names of some of those people who lost their bookings, my jaw almost got detached from my face.”

“Wow,” Brenna said.

“But on the bright side for those celebs, not only did they get a refund, but they also got an offer to stay at the Sanctuary for
free
for double the time they’d originally booked for, and at any time of their choosing. So in the end, everyone was happy.”

“All aboard, peeps,” Greg called out.

They all piled into the Hummer: Magda, Brenna and her four best friends, Ash, Connor and the three Carmichael brothers. Brenna thought it would be great if their families also got picked up by this Hummer. Most of them had staggered arrival, and would be joining them in the next couple of days.

The trip to the Carmichael Sanctuary from the airport was almost an hour, but Brenna didn’t even notice. The vehicle was well stocked with drinks and nibbles, and the conversation amongst friends was free flowing.

She held hands with Ash all the way, only letting go when she absolutely had to.

She couldn’t wait for Christmas Eve to come, when she had a surprise waiting for him with Gemma’s help. He’d probably be shocked, but hopefully it would be a surprise he’d love.

“We’re almost there,” Zach said. “Can’t wait for you to see it, babe,” he added to Rebecca, who smiled eagerly at her husband.

Magda sighed loudly. “Oh, what a shame. I’m enjoying this drive with you young people.”

They all chuckled.

“Here we are,” Greg said as they approached an elegant gate that was already wide open.

“Do you ever close that gate?” Gemma asked. “I imagine some of the guests who stay here would prefer it closed?”

“Actually, it’s almost always open,” Greg said. “Our guests choose this place to have privacy away from their crazy or hectic everyday lives, so it has become accepted practice that they don’t tell anyone that they are due to visit here. When no one knows where they are, reporters or paparazzi don’t know where to go. Plus, the locals are very respectful of the privacy of well-known people who come to the area. A lot of our guests visit the local shops and restaurants, and the fact that they’re around doesn’t get out to the wider world. The more that our guests feel the freedom to move around, the more they spend and leave great tips, so it’s win-win for visitors and locals alike.”

“But the paparazzi know that famous people visit here though, don’t they?”

“Sure. Those who do come don’t get farther than the driveway. We have a security team which mans the premises twenty-four/seven. Uninvited guests are intercepted and escorted out before they get to the main buildings. And since the paparazzi don’t know who exactly is here at any point in time, it’s not really worth their while to bother coming here. Most of them realise that.”

“That’s good to know,” Gemma murmured.

“Don’t worry, Gem. They won’t be around to hound you. I’ll make sure of it,” Greg said with a grin.

Gemma smiled, flushing a little.

Brenna raised an eyebrow, intrigued by this little interaction between Greg and Gemma. She glanced at Magda, who’d previously said that something was brewing between the two. She noticed that Magda was keenly watching Greg and Gemma, with a secretive smile on her face.

Her surreptitious observation was broken by Ash whispering in her ear.

“Excited?”

She nodded, smiling at him.

He grinned back—in an unusual way.

Hm. She was getting more and more certain that Ash was hiding something. She’d been noticing his mysterious smiles lately, and she could generally tell when he was suppressing his excitement. His lips curved in a certain way and his eyes got a particular glint.

She wouldn’t ask him about it, though. It would spoil the fun for him. As for herself, even if she’d guessed that a surprise was coming her way, she still didn’t know what it was and when she was going to get it. So she could still act genuinely amazed.

Ah, she wondered which surprise would be better—his or hers?

*****

B
renna breathed in the fresh air as she lifted her face to feel the warmth of the early morning sun. She looked around her in awe. She felt like she was in a magical clearing in the middle of a rainforest with just Ash and the birds for company. It was truly paradise.

She and Ash were in one of the seven private cottages that dotted the vast Carmichael Sanctuary. While the inside was ultra luxurious and modern, it was the outside environment that took her breath away. Each cottage was nestled amongst native trees, secluded from the rest, yet only a few minutes’ walk away from the main thirty-room hotel, which also housed a restaurant, indoor swimming pool, spa and gym. Even from the verandah, where she was now standing, she felt like she and Ash were the only two people in world—so much so that they’d been too naughty yesterday afternoon.

She was blushing at the thought when a pair of strong arms snaked around her waist.

“Maybe we can stay here for the morning and meet up with the guys at lunchtime instead,” Ash murmured in her ear. “We can have fun out here again.”

She giggled, caressing his arm. “You know, I’m still hoping no one heard us yesterday.”

“Fat chance,” Ash said. “You were moaning and screaming—”

“I did not scream,” she said, facing him with eyes wide with horror. “Did I?”

Ash chuckled. “I’m sure no one heard, sweetheart. The other cottages are far enough away, I think.” He cupped a breast. “Let’s do it again out here. Right now.”

“Sorry, honey. I’m going for a walk with the girls to explore this place further. I thought you were going on a bike ride with the boys.”

“Uh-huh. But I’m hard,” he breathed.

Ooh, and she was getting wet. Ash only needed to get a little bit amorous for her to react.

Her phone buzzed with a text message. It was from Gemma, who was waiting in the hotel, wondering where they all were.

“I’m sure she could wait,” Ash murmured, nuzzling her neck.

“No, honey. Even though Gem doesn’t show it, I’m sure she’s feeling kind of left out that she doesn’t have a special someone in an awesome place like this. She’s looking forward to this morning where it’s just us girls. I have to go.”

Ash sighed. “Okay, then. But next time don’t seduce me if we don’t have time.”

“Seduce you? I don’t remember seducing you.”

“Oh? You standing here showing me your neck and straining your chest out wasn’t meant to seduce me?”

She laughed. “I was breathing the fresh air and warming my face with the sunshine!”

“Yeah, yeah. Admit it. You want me right now, too.”

She bit her lip. Seductively. “I always want you, Ash,” she said provocatively. “Always.”

Ash’s eyes darkened further. “Brenna...”

She cupped his groin, making him gasp.

“I thought you have to go,” he said breathlessly, pulling her closer.

“You thought right,” she said, kissing him quickly, then escaping from his arms and running down the path. “I’ll see you later, honey!”

“You’ll pay for that!” Ash called after her.

“I hope so,” she answered, grinning widely.

*****

“T
hanks for the walk, girls,” Gemma said as they came back from a two-hour exploration of the property. “Maybe next time we should wear our bikinis and go back to the beach.”

“I’m all for that,” Rebecca said. “Can you believe it’s already Christmas Eve tomorrow? Time for your engagement parties!”

“I know,” Amanda said. “I’m looking forward to it. But quite frankly, I’m more excited about Bren’s surprise for Ash.”

“Me, too!” Sarah said.

“I’m nervous,” Gemma said with a little whine. “I’m already feeling quite sick in the stomach. I hope I don’t let you down, Bren.”

“Oh, honey, you won’t,” Brenna said, putting an arm around her friend’s shoulders. “You’ll be so awesome.”

“I need to practice more,” Gemma said. “Bren, make sure you keep Ash away from the main hotel, especially the piano lounge, all afternoon, okay?”

“Yeah, no problem,” she answered, knowing full well how she’d keep Ash in their private cottage.

“You guys are so sweet together,” Gemma said with a swoon. “You do know that I’m so happy for each of you, right? But I can’t help but be a bit jealous. You guys probably do nothing but have sex in your private cottages, while I’m here with no date.”

“Oh, Gem,” the four cried, huddling around Gemma.

“What’s more, I’m officially the only one who didn’t meet our group New Year’s resolution.”

“Hey, you still have a few days left,” Rebecca said. “Who knows? You might bump into a guy who’ll turn out to be your soulmate. At a place like this, anything seems possible.”

Gemma snorted. “Bump into a guy? There are thousands of men in Sydney, and I haven’t bumped into one who’s a potential happily-ever-after. Now we’re here in this secluded sanctuary with hardly any single men. Unless it’s one of the staff, or a local...”

“Or Greg,” Brenna quipped.

Gemma pouted. “If only.”

The other women gasped.

“Oh my God, Gem. You like Greg?” Rebecca asked.

“Hey, come on, Mrs. Carmichael,” Gemma said. “You know it’s not hard to develop a crush on a Carmichael brother. Greg is just as hunky and hot as your husband. And your fiancé,” she said to Sarah.