Always with You (WIth You Trilogy) (5 page)

Thankfully, Ian and Matt arrived back and ordered the twins out to fetch the shopping from the car. We followed and, between the eight of us, we got it all in with just one trip. They’d bought a lot. More than a lot. I watched with my jaw hanging open as they started unpacking bag after bag.

“Jamie,” Jason took my hand and pulled me out into the hall. “They’re just trying to be nice, little squirrel. I know you want to be independent and you feel like you’re just taking from them but it obviously means a lot to them that they know you’re taken care of.”

I knew he meant well, and I knew he was right, but I just felt so guilty.
“I just wish I could give something back,” I frowned.

“Jamie, you’re an amazing sister
to them,” Jason shook his head, dismissing my protests. “But maybe instead of arguing with them about trying to be nice to you, you could just say thank you and be grateful instead?”

I nodded. He was right. Of course he was right. I
didn’t want to seem ungrateful; I just wished that I could give something back.

Saturday, 6th July 2013

“Dude, that thing’s massive!” I heard Adam exclaim from the kitchen.

They were unboxing what looked suspiciously like a flat screen television.

“Ian,” I gasped. “Did you buy a TV?”

“Can’t live without a telly,” he shrugged
, his focus on the food he was putting into the fridge.

“If we stay with you we need to watch the football,” Matt
offered his completely bogus explanation.

“Consider it a late birthday present,” Ian added.

My fingers subconsciously flew to the locket around my neck which was the best birthday present I ever expected to get. I didn’t want anything else.

“You didn’t have to get all this,” I said awkwardly, looking around at the mountains of food and kitchen accessories they’d gotten us.

Jason shot me a meaningful look from behind Ian’s shoulder.

“But it’s
really nice of you, thank you,” I added, making sure to hug both Ian and Matt.

“Granddad would have kicked my
arse if he knew you didn’t have a kettle,” Ian mumbled, clearly uncomfortable with my thanks.

I giggled at the mental image
as he hugged me before helping him unpack the rest of the shopping and smacking the twins’ hands away from my still cooling cake.

Ian stepped outside to take a call on his mobile and Jason helped me put the cream and jam filling on the cake whilst Rick and Danny drooled and Matt put the shiny new kettle on.

In preparation for cake and coffee, we artfully arranged some of our beautifully mismatched dishes on the rather cramped table. We only had six chairs so Adam fetched a spare from his room and I opted to sit on Jason’s knee.

“Wait for Ian,” I cautioned when Danny made a grab for the cake that I’d placed on the table.

He and Rick frowned but they knew I was right. As soon as Ian returned and we were all sat around the very cramped table, the cake disappeared almost instantly.

With my brothers’ food cravings temporarily satisfied
, I went to unpack a few things in my room whilst they set up the TV.
Removal men and tech support; brothers are awesome
.

When I
finally came back downstairs, they’d just ordered a pizza and I had to laugh because the day had basically been broken down into food breaks and that was so typical.

“Thanks guys,” I grinned, seeing that they’d got the TV s
et up and working like a charm.

“You
’re welcome,” Matt answered. “I called Karl and got him to sort your TV license out online so you’re all set.”

I smiled appreciatively and sent off a text to Karl to say thank you and get him to give Grace a cuddle from me, not that I thought he needed an excuse. I wondered if Elise was having to battle with
him to get five minutes alone with her daughter.

“Jelly,” Ian gestured with his head for me to leave the lounge and come into the hallway with him.

I obliged happily, jumping up from my comfy position on the floor between Jason’s legs. Jason followed me and Ian didn’t seem to mind.

“What’s up?” I asked cautiously, made suspicious by Ian’s look of discomfort and Jason’s hesitancy.

“In your room,” he muttered, already walking up the stairs.

He motioned
for me to sit on my bed, a double bed which was a huge improvement on the previous year’s tiny excuse for a single. I sat quietly for a few minutes but neither of them said anything. I thought it was odd that Jason was stood by Ian’s side rather than sitting with me like he usually would.

“Jelly, I’m not okay with you being on your own here in Leeds,” Ian said eventually.

I frowned.
What does he expect me to do?
I lived in Leeds. My friends and studies were here. I wanted to be here.

“But I know it would be unreasonable to hide you away in Derby,” he added.

Unreasonable is a polite way of putting it,
I thought to myself.

“I’ve made arrangements for your safety,” he explained. “And I don’t want to hear a single word out of your mouth about them,” he warned, a menacing flicker of Captain Carter making an appearance.

I could tell he didn’t expect me to like what he was going to say, but I could also tell that he’d made up his mind and he wasn’t easily swayed.

“An old colleague of mine has agreed to keep an eye on you for a while.”

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously because that was quite a vague explanation. “What do you mean keep an eye on me?” I asked, my eyes on the carpeted floor to maintain my temper.

“He’ll stay here for now
, if that’s okay with Adam. He’ll accompany you to class and anywhere else you need to go.”

He was assigning me a babysitter?
This is ridiculous
. I didn’t need some guy following me around. I understood that he was scared for me, I was scared too, but surely I could just be more careful? I’d have Jason with me and I could promise not to go out alone at night and stuff.
Why is he doing this?

“Ian, that’s redic-” I started to voice my concerns.

“No, Jelly,” Ian raised his voice. “I don’t want to hear a single word out of your mouth,” he repeated. “This is bigger than you and I don’t give a shit whether you like it or not. It’s happening, so get used to it.”

“It’s for the best, Jamie,” Jason said quietly.

I turned my glare in Jason’s direction because he’d been suspiciously quiet during the whole exchange.

“He’ll be here in ten minutes,” Ian declared, turning his back and leaving us alone in the room.

“He just wants to keep you safe, Jamie,” Jason said gently, coming to sit next to me on the bed now that he no longer needed to maintain a united front against me. “I understand where he’s coming from. I know it’ll be a pain in the ass but it might be worth it for a while.”

My temper was boiling over, but not for the reasons Jason and Ian were expecting it to be.

“When did Ian tell you?” I asked without looking up at him. I doubted he’d lie to me and I didn’t want to look into his eyes and lose my nerve.

“Last week,” Jason
replied uncertainly.

I could tell he was caught off guard by my question.

“So, what? You just gave him the okay to do this?” I scowled at the carpet.

“No,” h
e answered immediately. “We argued over it pretty badly. Honest, baby. I know why you’re upset. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t lose you again, Jamie.”

“You don’t get why I’m upset, Jason,” I said angrily. “You don’t get to make these decisi
ons for me. I’m not a kid that needs looking after. We’re supposed to be equals.”

Jason remained silent for a while and I still didn’t look up at him because I was too hurt and angry. I hated that he didn’t even consider my feelings when deciding my fate. I appreciated that he wanted me safe
, and I understood it, but I hated that he thought he had that power over me.

“You’re being selfish,” he said eventually.

“How can you accuse me of being selfish?” I screamed. “Don’t you get how messed up this is? You’re my boyfriend not my guardian, Jason!”

“I just want you to be safe,” he growled, losing grip on his temper a little. He shoved up from the bed and began pacing the room, running his fingers through his hair.

I was too angry to answer him. He still wasn’t getting it. I knew he wanted me to be safe. That wasn’t the issue.

“I don’t want you treating me like a child,” I said eventually.

“Then maybe you should stop acting like one!” He yelled and with that he was gone. He slammed my bedroom door behind him and I heard him thundering down the stairs and the sound of the front door shutting behind him.

I rolled over on my bed and screamed into my pillow. I cried in anger, then I cried in frustrat
ion, then finally I just cried because it had been a tough month to say the least.

I knew I could have handled the argument better but I also knew this wasn’t something I should let slide. I didn’t want it setting a precedent for the rest of my life. I wanted to be an equal partner in
the relationship.

My brothers had made the decisions all my life, and whilst I understood that they had a right to make these decisions for the most part, I thought that should change now that I was an adult. They didn’t think I was strong enough to take care of myself and they were going over my head to rectify that.
That wasn’t okay with me, not any more.

The more I tho
ught about it, the worse I felt but then I tried imagining whether Ian would have assigned a ‘babysitter’ to the others if the situation was different. I doubted he would have done so with my eldest brothers, but when I thought about what Ian’s reaction would have been if Jake’s life had been in danger, I knew that it would have been the same.

It comforted me somewhat to know that I wasn’t being treated differently than Jake would have been. I wasn’t happy about the idea of being followed around, not by a long shot, but Ian hadn’t fully explained the situation and I figured maybe I should let him explain before I got too upset about it.

I begrudgingly rolled off the bed and wiped my eyes dry with the cuff of my jumper. I knew I probably looked a mess but I was beyond caring. I opened my door quietly and could hear my brothers arguing over who should be the one to come and fetch me down. None of them seemed to want to draw the short straw. In the safety of the dark hallway of the staircase, I rolled my eyes and made my way down silently.

I sat down on the floor next to the sofa without looking at any of them and played with a piece of wrapping tape that was left on the floor from unboxing the television. My brothers played it off like nothing had happened and went back to eating pizza and making lewd jokes about the Saturday afternoon TV presenters.

The doorbell rang and I didn’t bother getting up. Ian had said his “colleague” would be here soon and I figured he’d get the door so I could carry on sitting on the floor, feeling sorry for myself, and wondering just how much Jason hated me.

“This is Xander,” Ian introduced the guy to my brothers.

I didn’t bother looking up and Rick kicked me gently from his seat on the sofa so I assumed Ian was displeased with my lack of manners. I looked up to see that my assumption was correct based on the daggers Ian was shooting in my direction.

I stiffened,
sat up a little straighter, and looked over to the guy stood next to Ian. He was shorter than Ian. I’d put him around six foot. So not so much short, just shorter than the men of my family. He was broad, and his build and posture would probably have given him away as military if Ian hadn’t already said they’d worked together. His head was shaved bald and his features were hardened and cool.  I couldn’t see his eyes because he was shaking hands with my brothers.

“This is Jelly,” Ian motioned in my direction as Xander approached me.

He stuck his hand out and I took it. His hand was hard and calloused but his handshake was surprisingly gentle. I looked up to meet his eyes, expecting them to be cold like the exterior that he was presenting. Instead, his eyes were a warm shade of chocolate brown and smiled in contrast to the firm expression on his face. I found myself embarrassed for my previous rudeness and blushed, dropping my eyes to the floor again.

I kept my eyes down whilst my brothers chatted about random crap with Xander. We’d never met anyone Ian worked with before and I suspected they all had as many questions as I did. When it became obvious that they couldn’t keep up the idle chitchat, everyone sort of fell silent.

“Ground rules,” Ian said after the silence got too awkward.

I knew he was talking to me so I raised my eyes to see he’d already gone into solider mode.

“You don’t leave the house without Xander. You give him your schedule and you will ring him if anything changes. You will wait for him after every lecture. If he says something’s not safe, then you don’t do it. Understood?”

I clenched my teeth.
He’s trying to keep me safe
. I knew it was true but I hated the familiar ease with which he dictated my life.

“Understood?” H
e repeated again, a little louder.

“Yes, sir,” I mumbled quietly, dropping my eyes to the floor once more
so I wasn’t tempted to answer back and cause an argument.

“Adam, I’d appreciate it if you could stay off social media for a while,” he turned his attention to a confounded looking Adam.

“Uh, sure, I guess. How come?”

“You might accidentally reveal Jelly’s location, or th
e fact that she’s home alone. It’s better to stay away from that for now,” Ian explained.

I gritted my teeth again because Ian was extending his control over Adam as well and it just didn’t seem fair.

“Questions?” Ian challenged.

I knew he wasn’t expecting us
to have any but I did have questions and I was too miserable thinking about Jason to worry about the consequences of pissing him off.