Alyzon Whitestarr (52 page)

It might even be that what Da had done in catching her and beating out the flames would help her to recover. Because it was something to know someone loved you that much.

But whatever else happened, when Serenity woke, she would be questioned by the police, and what she said would add to what Gary Soloman would reveal, and seal the doom of Aaron Rayc. I thought of Harlen and wondered what would happen to him, because he had been a victim, too. Only he had no one to save him. No family to love and be loved by.

I reached out to touch Serenity on the cheek, feeling a stab of anger at the dreadful game that had been played with her life. She had been nothing more than a poor little pawn to kill the soul of a king.

My head ached as I instinctively tried and failed to reach into her. I sighed, leaning to kiss her cheek and thinking that simple human warmth was still a pretty powerful thing.

“I love you,” I told her softly, and her eyelids fluttered but she did not wake. “We all do, and you better hurry up and come back home to us.” I kissed her again and crept out.

* * *

Harrison was waiting outside the room, and I went into his arms as easily as if they had been made for me.

“How did you know where I was?” I asked in a voice that was husky from all the tears I had shed and from the yelling I had done a million years ago back in a dark field.

“I always ken where you are,” he said softly, and I felt his breath in my hair. “But I heard you call my name at the concert. I heard your voice inside my head.”

I pulled back a little so that I could look up at him. “I think some sort of connection formed between us that day at the library when you—”

“Kissed you?” he said. He smiled at me. “Well, it was some kiss.”

“It was,” I said shyly.

His smile faded. “I thought I’d forced you tae respond, and that you were horrified by it.”

“I was … I mean, I was horrified that you might be horrified.” I laughed, and then we were both laughing.

Harrison said, “I really did kiss you tae stop that guy figuring we were spying on the poetry group. But when you responded, I … I couldnae help myself.”

“I know. A guy reacts that way to any woman in his arms,” I said tartly.

He grinned. “I couldnae just tell you I reacted like that because it was you in my arms and that I had dreamed of kissing you like that a million times,” he said softly but without embarrassment.

I swallowed. Licked my lips. “Afterward there were times when I thought you might kiss me again. I … I wished it.”

He laughed softly, shaking his head. “I wanted tae kiss you breathless every time you looked at me. I thought I was turning intae some sort of sex maniac, and I was terrified that you would pick up what I was feeling because of your extended senses. That’s why I was always so careful not tae touch you.”

My own smile faded, and his arms tightened. “I’m sorry
your senses are back tae normal. But you know, maybe it’s like Goethe said: ‘Great powers come tae those who need them.’ If it wasnae for them, your sister would have done what she tried tae do. She would have destroyed herself and your father, and it would have been a terrible victory for the sickness.”

“But it’s not over.”

“No. Like Raoul said, it is a battle we won, not the war, but you’ve done the main thing. You’ve made us see the sickness and understand a lot about how it works. We’ve just been talking about it downstairs. Eventually we’ll figure out exactly how transmission of the sickness happens, and then we can really fight it.”

“I know how it happens,” I said quietly. “I figured it out when I saw Sylvia at the concert with the camera. That day at the shed, Harlen insisted that she had to film something.”

“I suppose they intended tae use the footage tae hurt even more people,” Harrison murmured.

“Maybe, but that wasn’t the main reason he wanted her to film it. You see, we were right in thinking a person has to be wounded spiritually in order to be opened up deeply enough to be infected. But we were wrong in thinking that someone else had to hurt them. Because the deepest wounds aren’t the ones we get from other people hurting us. They are the wounds we give ourselves when we hurt other people.”

Harrison drew in a long breath and leaned back to look down at me. “Jesus, you mean they wanted Sylvia Yarrow tae film Serenity burning herself tae death—”

“Because to film such a thing instead of trying to stop it would be so terrible that it would slash your spirit open to the core. Harlen was right there, hanging around, watching like a hawk, and he tried to stop me interfering with her. I think he was waiting for it to happen, and when Sylvia stood there and filmed Serenity burning herself, he would have infected her. He would only have to touch her. When Harlen tried to infect me, he just grabbed hold of me and put his skin against mine.”

We stood for a while in silence, and I thought about Mum and Sarry and what they might have done to open their spirits to such a devouring darkness. But I did not wonder for long, because whatever they had done, they redeemed themselves each moment that they lived by fighting the corruption that they had allowed into their souls. I knew how hard it must be, and how frightening, because the sickness had touched me as well. But there had been no wound by which it could enter me, and I had been able to fight it just by showing it my spirit.

And I would go on fighting with the others. It didn’t matter that there was no longer anything special about me. I had shown myself that a whole spirit was all it took to drive off the sickness. That was worth knowing.

“For goodness’ sake!” Gilly said, and Harrison and I sprang apart guiltily. She burst out laughing. “Oh, very subtle. I hung around for at least fifteen minutes waiting for the kiss, but since you still seem to be working up to it and I’m starving, I just wanted to tell you that Raoul and I are going
to get the pizza that Harrison came to ask you about half an hour ago.”

“Och, the pizza …,” Harrison said as he flushed and ran his hands through his pale hair.

“I guess your mind isn’t exactly on food right now,” Gilly said kindly. She walked off, tossing me a look of delighted mischief as she passed around the corner. I looked at Harrison, and all of a sudden we both started laughing. We laughed so much that we wound up leaning against the wall.

Then Harrison said. “About that kiss …”

“Oh …,” I said.

He rolled slowly sideways so that he was facing me, leaning lightly against me and pressing me against the wall. He looked into my eyes, refusing to let me look away or close my eyes as he moved closer. I felt the heat of his lips and the warm rush of his breath, and then he did what he had promised to do, kissing not only the breath but all the laughter out of me.

“Oh,” I said when he let me go.

“Very profound,” Harrison said, grinning. And he kissed me again.

And this time, oh this time, I smelled wood smoke and lavender and chocolate.