Amber Brown Is Green with Envy (4 page)

I, Amber Brown, felt like I was a teenager like Polly and Brenda even though I really don’t care about boys’ rears.

I look in my top dresser drawer….. panties, which I really needed, a bra, which I really don’t need, some socks (glittery), a set of gloves, mittens and a scarf (all purple).

In the next drawer are four pairs of the black pants that I love to wear. (I know what I like!)….. Also two T-shirts and four long-sleeve shirts.

Also a fuchsia sweater, a pink sweatshirt, two purple tops, three nightgowns and one pair of pajamas (with the feet and the trapdoor back!).

Dylan may think that shopping is awful…but I think that it should be an Olympic event.

I look at my new watch.

The other one that I have, the one that
I used to love so much and be so proud of…when I got it in the second grade…seems kind of baby now.…It is in my jewelry box. I bought one like the one that Polly has….. black and silver with little rhinestones in it. I think that it’s okay to wear the same watch at both houses.…I don’t know what the rules are on that one.

I wish I had a divorce rules book, but I still haven’t found one.

“Amber, honey,” my dad says, knocking on the door. “Almost ready? Your mother said that she wants you back at the house by four o’clock. And you know that when your mother wants something, she gets cranky when she doesn’t get it….. and we don’t want that to happen, do we?”

I don’t know what happened when my dad spoke to my mom, but he sure got into a terrible mood.

I, Amber Brown, think that he is getting very cranky, and it’s making me nervous.

I had such a good time until now, when I have to leave.

My dad puts the luggage into the trunk of the car, and we drive to my other house.

Dad hasn’t said anything since we got into the car.

I try to make things nice. “Dad, I had a really good time. I’ll be back for a visit soon.”

That doesn’t make things nice.

He makes a face. “It’s not just a visit,” he says. “You live with me too.”

I don’t know what to say.

I don’t know why I said “visit.”

I wish that my father wasn’t acting like this. He was so much fun over the whole vacation.

We get to my mom’s and my house.

My dad takes the luggage out of the trunk and says, “Amber, honey….. I’m sorry that I am in this lousy mood. I just hate to see you go…. and I don’t like to be bossed around by your mother.”

As far as I can figure out, all that my mom said was that I had to be home by four because she and Max and I had dinner reservations at six, and she wanted me to get settled first.

Now my dad is in a totally awful mood.

“Dad,” I say, “I can take my luggage in myself.”

He just looks at me. “All of this?”

“I can make a couple of trips,” I say.

My dad picks up the bags. “They are too heavy, honey. I don’t mind carrying them….. anything for my girl, who, by the way, I am going to miss very much.”

“Me too,” I say. “I’m going to miss you.”

It’s true. I will miss him, but I really do want to see Mom and Max right now. I just don’t want to let him know that and have him feel really bad.

The front door opens.

“Amber,” my mom says, holding out her arms for me.

We hug, and then Max hugs me.

My dad steps up and then walks to the door. “Where do you want me to put these?”

Max answers, “You can just leave them inside the door.”

My dad nods and walks inside with the luggage.

As he goes in, a piece of luggage sort of hits Max’s leg a little.

It looks like Max is going to say something, but then he doesn’t.

My mom says, “Phil, while you are here, would you like to come in and we can talk about Amber’s schedule for the next few weeks? We have some plans that need to be worked out.”

“I have some plans too,” my dad says.

Max puts his arm around my mom’s waist and says, “I’ll go get some soda for everyone. I know what everyone else likes, but what should I get for you, Phil?”

“My usual, a root beer,” my dad tells him.

“We don’t have root beers in the house anymore,” my mom says.

My dad shakes his head. “You still have water, yes?”

She nods.

I, Amber Brown, am feeling very uncomfortable.

Max returns with the drinks and sits down on the couch next to Mom.

I wish that they hadn’t asked my dad to come into the house now.

My dad looks around the room. “What ever happened to that picture that my mother gave us for our wedding?”

“It’s in the attic,” my mother says. “I put it there with a lot of other things.”

I remember the day that she went all over the house, taking things down, packing things up and putting them in the attic.

My dad looks at a beautiful bowl that is on the table. It’s a brownish color and written on it is the word AMBER. “I remember the day that I bought that bowl for you. It was the day that Amber was born.”

My mom smiles for a minute.

Then my dad looks around the room and starts naming other things that he gave Mom or that they bought together.

He accidentally spills some of his water on the table and stands up. “I’ll clean it up.
Is the towel rack in the same place it always was? Remember how much trouble I had getting that on the wall?”

My mom looks uncomfortable.

Max looks uncomfortable.

I feel uncomfortable.

I wish that my dad would leave soon.

My mom looks at Max. “I’ll go talk to Philip in the kitchen for a minute and work out the schedule.”

When she leaves, Max says, “Amber, you are going to love the souvenirs that we brought back for you from Disneyland.”

WE….. WE….. I think.

“I thought Mom went alone,” I say quietly. “I thought you were here, in New Jersey, in your apartment.”

Max makes a face. “Oh, right……Well, I missed your mom so much that I went out to California and stayed in a hotel while your mom stayed at Aunt Pam’s.”

Somehow it really doesn’t seem fair that Max and Mom got to go to Disneyland. Somehow, I wish that I had known that Max was there so I wouldn’t have wasted my time worrying about him missing Mom.

My dad and mom come back into the living room.

They don’t look very happy.

“Time for me to go, honey,” my dad says to me. “I’m going to miss you.”

We hug.

As he leaves, he turns to Max and says, “If there’s ever a problem with anything in
the house, just give me a call. I know how everything works here and I’ll be glad to show you how to fix it.”

Mom and Max don’t look happy when he says that.

Somehow, I don’t think that they are going to be asking for his help.

After Dad has gone, I look at Max and Mom, who are looking at each other. They look angry. I know that they are not saying anything in front of me.

Max carries the bags up to my room, and I get dressed for the restaurant.

Max and Mom talk downstairs.

When we get to the restaurant, I sit down to hear their news.

It can’t be that they are getting married.

I already know that.

Mom looks at me very seriously. “Amber, Max and I have already talked about this at great length. I realize that you may have
some feelings about this….. but we want to let you know that we are not going to stay in THAT house. We are going to move.”

Move. We can’t move. We just can’t move. I’ve lived in THAT house for my whole entire life.

My mom continues, “We want to be in a house where we can have people come to OUR house, Max’s and my house…and your house. Where Max and I and you can create our own history.”

I feel like I’ve been hit by a ton of wet noodles, mixed in cement sauce.

“When? Where?” I want to know.

“When? Soon,” Mom says. “Where? We don’t know.”

“In the same town?” My voice is getting a little louder.

Mom shrugs. “We don’t know yet.”

I don’t want to move to another house, to another town.

I want to stay right where I am.

I don’t know what to do, what to feel, what to say.

For once in my life, I, Amber Brown, am speechless.

January 11.

I’m back in school.

Life as I know it is over.

Mom and Max weren’t kidding.

We are really going to move. They are already looking at houses. When they find a house or houses they like, they will show them to me, and I can help them decide. I like that they want me to help them decide. I, Amber Brown, got very mad at my dad when he picked a house without me. Now Mom and Max are letting me
decide…except for one thing. I have decided…I want to stay exactly where I am. I like my room. I like knowing exactly where everything is. I like my friends. I like knowing my neighborhood.

Mom and Max said that once we find the house and buy it, they are going to get married. They aren’t going to wait until June. We will all move into the house at the same time.

They won’t promise me that we will stay in the same town.

That means that I may not even stay in the same school.

I, Amber Brown, always feel bad for kids who have to move and go to a new school, especially in the middle of the year.

I remember how bad I felt for Justin, my best friend who had to move.

Mrs. Holt is in the front of the classroom, taking attendance.

I really like Mrs. Holt.

I like all of the teachers at my school…I’ve had some great teachers here….. Mrs. Holt…. Mr. Cohen…. Ms. Light….

What if there are no great teachers at my new school?

What if they never smile at me? What if they already have favorite students, and there is no more room in their brains to add another favorite? What if they have already memorized all of their students’ names, and they have no more room in their memory for mine? What if they think of me as “What’s-her-face, that new kid who came to the school in the middle of fourth grade?”…. What if everyone thinks that it is weird for me to say, “I, Amber Brown”?

There are so many more what-ifs.

What if my dad keeps getting madder and madder about this?

When I was at Dad’s house, I should never have told him that Mom and I and Max were
going to move. He got on the phone to Mom and yelled and yelled and yelled. He said that he had moved back to this town, not to New York City, because of me, so that we could spend time together….. and how dare they think that they could move. He used the words “I’m calling my lawyer.” He used them a lot.