American Bad Boy: A Military Romance (13 page)

S
cooting back on the couch
, I pull my knees into my chest and fold my arms around my legs. I suddenly feel so exposed. So vulnerable. And it has nothing to do with being naked.

Mack knows that he has a son. This secret I’ve been carrying for ten years has finally been lifted from my soul. I thought when this day came I would feel lighter, not sick.

“Yes, he’s yours.” I answer him again. Resting my head on my knees, I look up at him from under my eyelashes. I’m not sure how he’s going to react. What he’s going to say. I watch storm clouds roll in over his face as he battles the emotions he’ll never share with me. Mack was never one to talk about his feelings, even before the military. Now even less so.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you get a hold of me at West Point?” He shakes his head slowly; his voice is monotone. I can’t tell if he thinks this is good news or the worst thing he’s heard. His furrowed brows aren’t really giving me a lot of information.

“I thought about it. Trust me. You have no idea how many nights I fought with myself. It was hard. Please don’t think I made the decision lightly. I didn’t. For the first three years of Chris’s life, I was a single mother. I second guessed not telling you every single day. Especially when I was getting my degree and trying to look after my baby.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Mack stands up and runs his hand over the back of his head. He walks over to the photos I caught him looking at earlier and stares down at them, his hand still resting on his neck as he looks back over the photos. My eyes sweep down his naked body, I wish he wouldn’t put distance between us. I wish he’d hold me close and talk to me about this.

“Instead you let another man raise my child as his own? I mean, does that seem right to you? Did I hurt you that badly, Lauren? Was I so terrible to you that you didn’t even let me know I had a son in this world?” The muscles in his back flex tight.

“No, you weren’t bad to me. You did hurt me, yes.” I admit, fresh tears sting my eyes as if the wound of him choosing his country over me happened yesterday. I guess it’s more like a burn than a wound. A burn that looks alright on the surface but keeps destroying the layers of skin underneath. A burn that radiates pain deep inside, long after it should have healed.

“So you got back at me by keeping Chris from me?” his voice wavers, he still won’t face me. I hate talking to the back of his head, but I understand if he can’t look at me right now. I hug my knees tighter to my body, desperate to feel Mack’s arms around me. I wonder if I ever will again.

“No, it had nothing to do with that!” I can’t believe he’d accuse me of keeping Chris out of his life because I had hurt feelings. What does he think of me? “Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I was angry. But I never kept it from you because of how you decided to leave. Let me remind you, it was you who decided to walk away and leave me here while you went off to pursue your dreams, Mack.” My tone has a razor’s edge.

“Lauren, I was doing what I thought was right. You remember how Ben died. What was I supposed to do, forget about the one thing that I cared about and stay here just because you didn’t like my decision?” He finally turns to face me and I wish he’d turn back around. His eyes flash with anger, but under the anger I can see the betrayal he’s feeling tossing around on the ocean blue storm of his eyes.

“I thought I was the one thing you cared about,” I whisper, I feel like I swallowed a rock.

“You know what I mean,” he snaps.

“No, I don’t. And I certainly didn’t then. Do you remember what you told me on prom night? How it was the perfect time for you to get into West Point because you had to be a certain age and couldn’t be married and …”

“I couldn’t have kids,” he finishes my sentence. The anger fades from his eyes as he stares down at the floor.

“Exactly. I didn’t keep Chris from you because you left me for West Point. It wasn’t some kind of revenge, Mack. I kept him from you because I knew how much West Point meant to you. I knew you would come back and look after us, but that you’d always be full of regret. You’d never get the chance to go again. Ever. I didn’t want us to be a weight around your neck.” I confess.

“You shouldn’t have made that decision for me,” his voice is flat. Defeated. My heart squeezes in my chest thinking that I did this to him.

“You’re right. I was young and stupid. I never should have let you go, either. I should’ve tried to make it work when you said you wanted to do the long distance thing. I admit I wasn’t a genius at eighteen.”

“And what about in your twenties? What about after I graduated? You still never looked me up?” He meets my eyes and I see a flash of lightening on the stormy seas of his crystal blues.

“You’re right. I met Joel in college and we ended up married. I guess after that I didn’t think about contacting you as much. I figured it would just make everything even more complicated. You never came back to Colorado, so I never knew if you got married or had other kids or anything. I guess I just thought it was better to let sleeping dogs lie.” I leave out how I still agonized about it for years. How many nights I searched for him on Facebook. How many times I tried to find his e-mail address.

“This is so fucked up, Lauren. I mean, how did any of this happen anyway? Didn’t you tell me you were on the pill then too?” Mack paces back and forth in front of my couch. I hold my hand out to him and he looks down at it like I’m holding up a foreign food.

“Please, Mack, sit down with me.” I plead.

He looks at me and grasps my hand. My heart flutters like a hummingbird’s wings with hope.

“Ok.” He settles back onto the couch and looks over at me. I can see the suspicion coursing through his veins, but at least he’s giving me the chance to talk.

“Thank you,” I breathe deep, feeling like I’m taking in the first breath after a deep dive. “You’re right, I was on the pill. I mean, you remember how diligent I was with it. I had a timer on my cellphone and everything.”

“I remember.” His jaw is tight.

“I don’t know if you remember that about a week before prom I got an ear infection?” I look into his eyes but I don’t see a flash of recognition. “Anyway, the doctor gave me a string of antibiotics and I didn’t realize back then that it makes your birth control not work that great. At least it did for me. So, yeah, Chris happened. Not that I would trade him for the world.” My mother’s guilt sweeps over me; all this talk about our son like he’s a mistake isn’t sitting well on my heart.

“Fuck, that’s a lot to take in.” Mack looks down at his palms like he’s trying to read them. If I trace his love line, will I be there? Or is my place always going to be in his past?

“I know. Just so you know, when Joel passed, I did start looking you up again to tell you. I was tracking down old high school friends to see if they knew what happened to you. Then I was watching the eleven o’clock news one night and I saw the footage of you over there. It was crazy. I’d been trying so hard to track you down and then, there you were on my television.” I remember how I sobbed uncontrollably as I watched Mack covered in blood. The news had pixelated the lower half of his leg missing, but it was clear as day what had happened to him.

“Shit. You saw that, huh?” He looks over at me and moves closer to me, gently placing his large hand on my foot.

“Everyone in America saw that, Mack. The president saw it. So, yeah, I saw it too. It just felt like, since I knew what you were going to be up against with rehab and everything, like it was a sign to leave it alone. You were going to have enough on your plate, you know? It didn’t feel like a good time to fire off an e-mail about Chris, that’s for damned sure.” I place my hand on top of his and the warmth of his skin soothes me.

“I can see that. That makes sense.” He looks over at me, into me. “Does he know?”

“That you’re his father? No. He doesn’t. Chris knows that Joel wasn’t his biological Dad, and that he was adopted. I mean the kid is smart, he figured it out the same way you did.” I sweep my hand out toward the photographs. “I’ve never told him who his real father is though.”

Silence grows between us and fills the air like a scream. A scream would be better actually. My skin begins to prickle as I wait for Mack to say something. Anything. Does he hate me? Does he want to be in our lives?

“I’m sorry,” Mack’s voice cuts through my thoughts.

“What? Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry that I never looked back. I was young too, I was hurt that you wouldn’t even try to stay together when I left, so I tried to erase you from my memory. I didn’t realize that it was impossible, you were more than a memory. You were etched on my soul. When I lost my leg, and … my men …” his voice wavers as his emotions battle on his face. He clears his throat and his eyes focus back on mine, “You were there.”

“You mean you thought of me?” I try to make sense of his words.

“No, you were there. I could see you. Smell you. Taste you. I felt your hand on mine. I knew that if I died then, it would be with a heart full of regret for ever letting you leave. I knew I could never die happy until I found you again.”

Tears prick the corners of my eyes and the rock in my throat feels even heavier as I struggle not to cry. “I never thought I’d see you again,” I confess. “I already felt like a piece of me had died the day you went to West Point.”

He scoots over on the couch and puts his arm around me, I lie my head against his chest and let his heartbeat sing me a lullaby. “Were back together now,” he soothes me, running his hand over my hair. “All three of us. We’re gonna make this work. Ok?” He grabs my shoulders and holds me inches from his face. I’m lost in his eyes, transfixed by them.

“
Y
es
.”

“
H
ey
, sexy.” I sneak up behind Lauren and wrap my arms around her, pulling her plump ass back against my cock. I watched her come into the building this morning, her hair perfectly in place and her uniform trim and pressed. Miles away from the naked wild cat I was gagging with my cock only hours before.

“Mack, you can’t sneak up on me like this,” she pushes my hands down from her hips and twists around. Her lips are pressed into a solid line and she’s got her cute little nose scrunched up at me.

“Aww, c’mon, you don’t want to have a quickie in the supply closet? Where’s that naughty girl I was flipping around all weekend, huh?” I pull her tight against me and I can see her pulse quicken in her neck. I let my hands slide down over her perfect ass and cup it, pulling her against my stiffening cock. Maybe she just needs a little inspiration.

Lauren quickly looks over my shoulder toward the closet door, she doesn’t need to worry though, I closed it behind me.

“A quickie? Are you crazy? This is where I work, Mack. It’s bad enough that you spent the weekend at my house,” she presses her hands firmly against my chest and steps back, “you’re gonna get me fired.”

“I didn’t spend the weekend at your house, I was visiting my wonderful Aunt Mildred, remember?” I smirk, but she isn’t budging. Neither is the fixed line she has her lips in.

“No, I can’t,” she hisses.

I want to sweep my hand over the medical crap crowding one of these metal tables and flip her around, bending her over it. I want to hold her down with one hand and rip her pants down with the other, fucking her wildly until she’s dripping with my cum. The idea makes my cock throb painfully and I adjust myself so the sensitive skin isn’t pressing directly against my zipper.

I may want to do that, but I won’t. I’m a persistent guy, but I know what lines can’t be crossed.

“Fine,” I hold my hands up in surrender. “I just thought you looked really sexy this morning and wanted to show you how crazy you’re making me. I get it though, no quickies at work.” I step back, giving her some space.

Lauren looks back over my shoulder at the door nervously. “No anything at work, Mack. I can’t lose this job, especially not for messing around with a patient. I’ll never find another hospital that will hire me after that. Look,” she closes the distance between us and runs the back of her fingers down my cheek and over my beard, “I want you, ok. Trust me, you have no idea,” the glint in her eyes speaks volumes. “We’ll figure this out, I promise. Now, please, get out of here before someone else needs something out of here.” She urges, but she doesn’t break away from me. Lauren stands her ground, her breasts lightly pressing up against my chest.

I hold her chin between my thumb and forefinger and blanket her lips with mine, a hard kiss for how hard she’s made me. Lauren relaxes against me and her mouth opens, inviting me to take the kiss deeper. As our tongues collide, I slowly step her back, one step at a time, until her back is flat against the wall. I pin her in place with my hips and grind my ready cock against her hot little pussy as our kiss continues. Like I said, I’m persistent.

A stream of light floods in from the door and I pull back quickly. Lauren gasps and runs the palms of her hands down over her shirt like she’s trying to iron them to her body.

“Uh, Doctor Galt. Um, Mack, I mean, um, Captain Forrester just needed …” her eyes search the closet frantically as I turn to face the cock-block at the door.

“I needed some bandages,” I state matter-of-factly. My eyes leveling him.

“That’s not what it looked like from here,” cherry stains his face and he blows his cheeks out like a puffer fish. “This is highly unprofessional,” his face twitches with irritation as he looks over at Lauren. I don’t need to look at her to know what she looks like right now. I don’t want to see the shame tattooed to her face.

“What’s highly unprofessional about my nurse getting me bandages?” I interrupt his glare. “If you ask me, that’s kinda the definition of professionalism right there.”

His eyes flicker wildly as he attempts to push his chest out. These small guys are always the same, like little Chihuahuas trying to be pit bulls. “I don’t want to hear it, Captain. I know what I saw.” He looks back over at Lauren, who’s still silently being shielded by my body. “And if you think for one second that this isn’t going to be reprimanded, then you are mistaken. I’ve never seen such amoral conduct in a hospital. This man is your patient, Nurse Brickman. This little … relationship,” he spits out the word like it burned the roof of his mouth, “is against your medical oath and it’s against the law.”

I can see him winding up like one of those symbol crashing monkey dolls we used to play with as kids. Nope. Not happening. Fire burns up in my gut, licking flames of fury into my throat.

Who the fuck does this guy think he is? He doesn’t get to talk to my woman like that! My hands ball up at my sides and my eyes narrow into slits.

“No, you listen, doc. I’ve told you that Nurse Brickman has been professional, which is much more than I can say about you right now. And the last time I checked, I walked in here with a media team and worldwide news coverage when I came to your little hospital. So, if you want to pursue this, who do you think people are going to fucking believe? A national war hero who left his leg in the desert for his country? Or you?” I sneer down at him.

Galt’s chest deflates and his shoulders drop as he considers my words. “Listen, I’m not trying to start anything like that,” he starts back pedalling. “The media doesn’t need to be involved in this. I’m just trying to run a hospital here. It’s important that our staff follow proper procedures and conduct themselves appropriately.” His eyes flash at Lauren.

“I know, I’m sorry,” she finally finds her voice behind me and the words scrape across my eardrums like the squeal of Styrofoam being twisted.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t say sorry.” I put my hand in the air, interrupting whatever incriminating thing she’s about to confess.

“As for me being a patient, I can leave this hospital at any time. In fact, I’ll be checking out today, thank you. I don’t need this attitude or negativity from a place that’s supposed to be helping me heal.” Galt’s mouth puckers tight like an asshole. With the shit he’s been spewing, I think it’s appropriate.

“I’ll be doing some more media appearances soon with my blade, too,” I continue. “They can really go one of two ways. I can sing the praises of your fantastic rehabilitation center and shine a light on the wonderful care I’ve received here,” I look back at Lauren, I hate the fear I can see in her eyes. “Or, if you want to pursue reprimanding Nurse Brickman here, I can shine an entirely different spotlight on your center. It’s up to you.”

I stroll across the floor and Galt’s mouth is gaping wide. If his lips looked was an asshole a couple seconds ago, then it just got fucked.

“Captain, I don’t see that there’s any reason you need to cut your rehabilitation short. I’m sure we can discuss this like civilized adults,” he pleads but doesn’t try to block the door as I approach.

“I’ve done all the talking I intend to do; the rest is up to you.” I stare straight into his little eyes and walk out the closet door.

“Captain Forrester, please, wait!” he calls but I continue on down the hall, leaving Lauren and her career dangling by a thread behind me.

Shit. How am I going to make up for this one?