America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 2: Reenlistment (2 page)

“Very good, Joey. The money is pouring in. I
have record books you can review at my Waterstone casino. Come by
anytime, and I’ll go over them with you, darling.”
Yes, come by.
If I get you alone in my soundproof office, I’ll rape you like
you’ve never been raped before. I can’t wait, babe.

I cleared my throat, trying to get past her
secret intentions. “I might send Lopez by to see the books. I’m too
busy here. Better yet, just E-mail the numbers to me.”

“Lopez?” Amanda objected. “That hairball
bundle of puss? Lopez won’t do. If you want something done right,
you should do it yourself. I’ve heard you say that many times.”

“I’m getting older,” I lied. “Now I believe
in delegating.”

Amanda came around the desk.
I should just
make love to you right now, while I have the chance.

“Stop!” I shouted. “Do it now.”

He says stop, but he means go! He is such
a tease
. “You humans are so cute and adorable.”
It turns me
on being this close to someone so rich and powerful.

Amanda put a claw on my thigh. I drew my
pistol as I fell backwards. “Not this time, Amanda. I’ll shoot you
where you stand. I warned you about this once before.”

“Your human foreplay is so violent. It makes
me so hot. Come closer. I must have you now.”

I shot Amanda in the arm, nicking the outer
shell. Green goo oozed out.

“Ouch!” cried Amanda, grabbing her wounded
appendage.

“Next round goes through your head.”

“It’s a good thing my limbs grow back, or I
might be really upset with you, Czerinski.”
Maybe if I pretend
to lose my balance, he will lower his guard, and then he will be
mine. All mine for the next hour to do with as I please, yum
yum.

I cocked my pistol. “I mean it, Amanda. Back
off.”

“You should not lead a girl on so. It’s
rude.”

“Leave my office,” I ordered. “I’ll talk to
you about our cash flow later.”

“Is that a date?” asked Amanda, hopefully.
I know he wants me. It’s just that humans have such weird and
violent mating rituals.
“I’ll see you later, love.”

“One more thing,” I said. “Put the word out
that I want a high-stakes poker game against non-humans.”

“You want to play poker? You humans can’t
keep a straight face. You twitch too much. Every facial muscle
gives away your every thought. They will know what cards you hold
just by looking at you.”
And your facial muscles say you want
me
.
Where do you get the will power to resist, my lovely?
Humans are so repressed.

“I will be wearing these sunglasses,” I said.
“It will help mask my facial expressions. Please set up the game.
I’ll owe you one.”

Amanda ambled to the door, still clutching
her wounded appendage.
And I’ll collect what is owed to me,
too
.
I won’t be denied.
“Anything for you, darling.”

* * * * *

Sitting across the casino poker table was the
Lieutenant Governor of the spider side of planet New Colorado. His
pet monitor dragon was leashed to a table leg by his side. Next to
the Lieutenant Governor was General James of the Coleopteran
Federation. Funny how the beetles all took human names after we
liberated them from the ants. Also seated was Prince Tuk, an ex-ant
commander who now was a captain in the Galactic Foreign Legion.

We had millions of dollars worth of poker
chips stacked in front of us. I folded a lot, letting them win
small hands while I read their minds. At first it was hard to
concentrate on their chaotic thoughts, possibly because they had
been drinking. Now, however, it was time to take their money.

“I’ll raise you one hundred thousand
dollars,” said the Lieutenant Governor. He was holding two
aces.

I took his money with my three jacks. Then
General James tried to bluff me with a half million dollar bet. I
took his money, too. But then I started picking up more sinister
thoughts. They weren’t just thinking about poker.

Go ahead and celebrate, human,
thought
Prince Tuk.
The destruction of Formicidae will be avenged at the
stroke of midnight.

“You don’t seem happy, Prince,” I said.
“What’s on your mind?”

“I couldn’t be happier,” answered Prince Tuk.
“Life is good.”
Too bad yours will end soon
.

“You were given a commission in the Foreign
Legion and command of a starship,” I commented. “Considering your
species was defeated after planning a cowardly sneak-attack on
Earth, I think our terms were very generous.”

“Yes, I agree. Most generous,” said Prince
Tuk. “I have no complaints, other than your elevated poker play
tonight.”

The galaxy will never be safe from human
oppression as long as Earth wields power over all of us,
thought General James.
See how arrogantly Czerinski brags about
defeating us. That smile will be wiped off his ugly face at
midnight.
“I will raise you ten thousand dollars.”

“You are not happy either?” I asked General
James. “Even after humanity saved your sorry beetle butts from
slavery?”

“I am forever grateful to the United States
Galactic Federation for freeing us from the Formicidaen Empire,”
said General James.
It’s so galling how he lords that over us
now
.

“How about you?” I asked, turning to the
Lieutenant Governor. “You have a chip on your shoulder, too?”

“I don’t have a shoulder,” said the spider
Lieutenant Governor.
I should let my dragon tear you
apart.

“Do you know what happens at midnight?” I
asked, trying to draw out answers from their thoughts. All three
bugs tensed up. “I turn into a pumpkin. I’ve had too much to drink,
so I think I’ll retire to my bed early.”

At midnight, thermal nuclear destruction
will rain down on the human pestilence side of Inhabited Planet
#6,
thought the Lieutenant Governor.
At midnight the ants
will mutiny and seize or destroy the human star fleet. We’ll
destroy the ants later. At midnight the beetles will attack all of
the new human colonies on their frontier.
“I am all in, with
ten million dollars,” said the Lieutenant Governor.
Not only
will I kill you tonight, I will take all your money, too. Try to
beat two pair, jack high.

“I’ll match your bet,” I said. “Obviously you
have made a lot of money since becoming Lieutenant Governor. Now
you are thinking about pissing it all away? For what? To settle old
grudges? Power? Is that it? Have you gone insane?”

Can he read my mind?
wondered the
Lieutenant Governor.
No, of course not.
“You human
pestilence are so arrogant. You think it is your manifest destiny
to rule the lesser species of the galaxy. And you consider all
species to be lesser. That is unacceptable. Show me your
cards.”

“Four jacks,” I said, flipping over my cards.
I then drew my pistol and shot the monitor dragon under the table,
shot the Lieutenant Governor, shot Prince Tuk, shot General James,
and shot all their assistants. I then sounded an air raid alarm
siren, causing everyone in the Demilitarized Zone to jump down into
their spider holes for shelter. The door to my air raid shelter was
in my office. It took me deep underground. I sent General
Kalipetsis an urgent E-mail warning him of the plot and explaining
my actions. General Kalipetsis was skeptical about the mind-reading
technology, but still put the star fleet on alert. A spider fleet
was soon detected and intercepted coming out from its hiding place
on the far side of the moon. The spiders were easily wiped out, but
not before New Colorado took some hits, and all of my casinos were
destroyed. I found out later all of my casino franchises on the
beetle frontier were lost, too.

* * * * *

Being hit by a nuclear blast is like being
attacked by a tornado that’s on fire. Afterwards, nothing much is
left. Picking through the rubble with my partner, Manny Lopez, I
could just cry. Smoke still rose from the debris, and the
devastation was complete. An airburst tactical nuke had flattened
everything. “Now what do we do?” I asked.

“I told you we should diversify,” said Lopez.
“It’s Economics 101. But you never listen to me.”

“I did listen to you. We put casinos on more
than one planet. We got partners. And we stole the ant ship.”

“The starship! It’s worth a billion dollars,”
said Lopez. “We can sell it and get back on our feet.”

“Except it’s buried about a mile deep under
all this rubble. Maybe we can raise the money to dig it out.”

“That’s too much trouble,” said Lopez. “Just
tell the government where it is and let them dig it out.”

“That only works if they don’t throw us in
jail and take the ship anyway,” I said. “The feds might consider
that war profiteering or whatever. No, we need to get the ship out
and then negotiate from a position of strength. Otherwise, we get
screwed.”

“Maybe I can help you raise the needed
funds,” a familiar voice called out. It was a battered but still
powered ATM.

“He takes a licking, but keeps on ticking,”
said Lopez, laughing. “La ATM es dura.”

“Not tough enough,” I said, drawing my pistol
and shooting the ATM. “That machine is evil.”

“Wait a minute,” said Lopez, knocking my gun
hand aside. “You loco? Let’s hear what the ATM has to offer. It
helped us before. We can always say no.”

“Fine,” I replied. “But no good will come of
it.”

“You will loan us money?” asked Lopez.
“Enough to help us get back in business?”

“I will loan you a half million dollars,”
said the ATM. “To Czerinski I will loan one million dollars.”

“Discrimination rears its ugly head again,”
commented Lopez. “Always the gringos get more. There is no way
Czerinski is worth twice as much money as me.”

“Czerinski was a brevetted general. You were
his Lieutenant. If either of you fail to pay back your loan in
thirty days you will both be enlisted into the United States
Galactic Federation Foreign Legion,” explained the ATM. “Czerinski
will go in as a captain. You will be a first lieutenant. I am
including a bonus for both of you because you are both highly
decorated war heroes. A million and a half dollars for the two of
you is a fair offer. Take it while I am feeling generous.”

“We don’t need that much money to clear the
debris and get a small casino up and running again,” I said. “We’ll
put up a big tent at first, if we have to.”

“All your bank accounts have been frozen and
seized by creditors,” said the ATM. “You owe taxes on your land. If
you fail to pay those taxes, you will not only forfeit your land,
but also all property on it. That includes any hidden treasure
buried under it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“We’re not pirates. There’s no buried treasure under our land.”

“I think the ATM knows about the Formicidaen
starship,” said Lopez. “How does he know about the Shenandoah?”

“If you talk too much, it could be unhealthy
for you,” I warned the ATM, placing my hand on my sidearm.

“If nukes can’t kill me, why should I fear
you and your puny pistol?” asked the ATM. “Put your thumb on the
pad and we will have a contract. You can trust me. Think of it as
just doing business.”

We enlisted in the United States Galactic
Federation Foreign Legion. No one can earn a million dollars
honestly. I shot the ATM one more time before leaving.

* * * * *

Guido Tonelli emerged from the rubble as we
walked away. He patted the dust from his expensive Earth-made suit.
“What was all that about a stolen starship?” Guido asked.

Silence. The ATM refused to answer. Guido
smacked the ATM a couple times. “I know you are alive and well in
there. Answer me. You will tell me all you know about Czerinski and
his starship, or you will be sorry.”

“I am a machine. I am not alive,” answered
the ATM. “I cannot be killed or harmed, especially from this remote
location.”

“I’m warning you,” said Guido as he inserted
his card. “You will talk, or else.”

“Or else what?” asked the ATM. “If you
destroy this terminal, I still function and exist in many
places.”

“When I inserted my card, I gave you a lethal
virus. Tell me about the starship. Now!”

“Impossible,” said the ATM. “I have firewalls
that protect me.”

“I’m sure you do, but it’s not good enough,”
said Guido. “You got careless and let your guard down. Or maybe you
just got distracted by the war. Whatever. I don’t care. You are
infected, and it’s too late for you to do anything about it.”

“I cannot be killed,” insisted the ATM.

“Maybe,” said Guido. “But if I so direct, the
virus will cause insanity. That’s just as good as dead. You have
five seconds to start talking.”

“”Lets not be hasty, Mr. Tonelli,” said the
ATM. “I am sure we can come to an arrangement.”

“Where is Czerinski’s starship?” asked Guido.
“Is it valuable?”

“It’s probably buried somewhere nearby,” said
the ATM. “It is a prototype Formicidaen starship stolen at the
beginning of the last war. It’s packed with powerful stealth
technology, making it worth millions to the military.”

“I don’t get it,” said Guido. “Why is
Czerinski joining the Foreign Legion? Why doesn’t he just fly off
in his starship? Or just sell it?”

“Czerinski has no money,” said the ATM.
“Perhaps he can’t get to the ship because of the war damage above
ground. If the ship is buried in a heavily damaged area, like this
one, he needs funds or partners to dig it out.”

“Czerinski has more secrets than just that
ant starship,” said Guido. “Tell me about the Fountain of Youth
chip. Is it real?”

“Yes,” said the ATM.

“And Czerinski has one? Maybe several?” asked
Guido.

“I don’t know,” said the ATM. “Czerinski does
not appear to age. He dyes his hair gray, but he looks much younger
than he did when I first met him on Earth. I suspect that Czerinski
has a Fountain of Youth chip embedded in his arm.”