Amish Christmas Joy (7 page)

Maggie hesitated, glancing between Rhonda and Leah. “I must thank you, too, for being kind to Caleb and to Joy. You’ve made a good impression on the child.”

“She is sweet.”

“She truly is.” Maggie went back inside.

Leah placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t see how. Maggie wants Caleb to stay. I can’t imagine facing him at every family gathering, every church or school function.”

When Caleb came back into sight, Rhonda pressed her hand to her scarred cheek and hurried inside the house. Leah waited until he approached. He looked after her sister. “I’m sorry my being here upsets Rhonda.”

“Do you blame her?”

“That is a loaded question I choose not to answer. Here are Joy’s records.” He handed over a manila envelope. “
Danki.
I must get back to the house.”

He frowned slightly, as if he were aware of her discomfort and knew he was the reason for it. He shoved his hands deep in his coat pockets. “Will you be at the school-board meeting?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Until Thursday, then.”

She watched him walk back down the lane, with his shoulders hunched against the cold and against the stares that followed him. He looked so alone.

* * *

Leah wasn’t surprised when her sister came over that evening. Although they made a habit of visiting each other at least once a month, the closeness they once shared was missing. Leah knew part of that was her fault.

“Do you know what you are doing?” Rhonda demanded.

“Good evening, Rhonda. Won’t you at least let me take your coat before you start scolding me?”

“I can’t stay. Why are you befriending Caleb Mast?”

“We talked about this at church. I don’t believe I have befriended him. He wants to enroll his daughter in our school. She has special needs. It’s important that I know what those are. I’m sure the school board will ask for my input on his request. I take my job seriously.”

Rhonda paced the small kitchen. “I don’t know why he had to come back.”

Leah softened her tone. “He doesn’t intend to stay long. He’ll be gone and things will get back to normal, except Maggie and Ike will have another grandchild in school, and David will have a new cousin.”

“I don’t want David to have anything to do with Caleb or his
Englisch
daughter. Wayne won’t tolerate it.”

“I’m sorry he feels that way. Joy is a wonderful child who has led a very sad life. I think she can be happy here. I think she can learn our ways and become a productive member of our community. I hope he can see that. As a member of the school board, his acceptance of her is important.”

“What if her father changes his mind and comes to take her away?”

“Is that what’s wrong? Are you and Wayne afraid Caleb has come back to claim his son?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Leah drew her sister close. “He gave up any right to David when he denied him years ago. Wayne is David’s father in every sense of the word.”

“In every sense but one, and that is the most important.”

“That is the least important part of being a father. Wayne loves David. He could not love him more if he tried.”

“I know.” Suddenly there were tears streaming down Rhonda’s face. “But every time he sees my son he is reminded of my sin. I can tell by the way he looks at me. He can barely touch me. He is so angry now that Caleb is back. I don’t know what to do.”

Leah led her weeping sister to the sofa and sat beside her. She had always suspected that things weren’t good between Rhonda and Wayne, but her sister had never spelled it out so plainly. Nor had Leah asked.

Rhonda looked up with pain-filled eyes. “You hate me, too.”

“Oh, Rhonda, I don’t hate you.”

“I ruined everything for you.”

“You did what you thought was best for you and your child.”

“We don’t talk like we used to. Remember when we were girls, we would huddle together under the quilts at home and talk about the boys we liked and the kind of lives we wanted to live? We used to laugh so much. We never laugh anymore.”

Leah had been deeply hurt when Wayne broke their engagement to marry Rhonda. As the youngest child, Rhonda had always seemed to end up with the best of everything. She had been the prettiest girl in Hope Springs. Everyone said so. She was smarter, more popular, more outgoing—she was everything that Leah wasn’t.

Rhonda could have told Wayne no. She could’ve gone to stay with their childless cousin in Indiana. The couple would have welcomed her and raised her baby as their own. It seemed to Leah that Rhonda was intent on spoiling her life, too, since she had ruined her own.

Leah had let her bitterness simmer, and it had tainted her relationship with her sister. It wasn’t right.

“I remember how it was. We used to laugh all the time. You must come and stay with me for a few days. Wayne and David can manage without you. Who knows, Wayne may realize how much he misses you, for I believe he loves you, even if he has trouble showing it.”

Rhonda pressed a hand to her scarred cheek. “If only I wasn’t so ugly.”

“You are not ugly, and you must never say so again. That is prideful and vain. We are all as God has made us, and we must accept that, flaws and all. True beauty shines from the heart, not from our faces.”

“I try to accept it as God’s will. You would think by now it wouldn’t cross my mind, but I can’t help how I feel.”

Leah hesitated and chose her next words carefully. “Acceptance follows forgiveness. Have you forgiven Caleb for the accident that injured you?”

“Of course I have,” she said quickly. Too quickly. There was no sincerity in her voice. “I just wish he would leave. It was better when he wasn’t around.” She started crying again. Leah held her tight and let her weep out her unhappiness.

The inability to find forgiveness was a trait both sisters shared. Leah thought about Caleb and Joy and about his struggle to do what was right for the child. He wasn’t a cruel or careless man. Perhaps he hadn’t been cruel and careless in the past. Maybe he had only been a frightened boy who couldn’t face a man’s responsibilities.

No matter what he had done or why, the Savior had died on the cross for his sins. Who was she to say it wasn’t enough?

* * *

Caleb was at home when his parents returned with Joy late in the evening. He walked out to meet them.

Joy climbed out of the buggy. “I have a new friend, Daddy. Her name is Anna.”

“That’s good. Did you meet lots of new kids?”

“They didn’t make fun of me, not even once.”

“And why should they?” Ike asked as he helped Maggie out of the buggy.

“’Cause I’m not smart. I’m not good at games, and lots of times the kids call me stupid and other bad names.”

The memory of such times took the light from his daughter’s eyes. Caleb exchanged a speaking glance with his father. Maybe now he would understand why he had brought her here.

Ike pulled a large basket with handles from the backseat. “There will be no name-calling from the children in our church. If this should happen, you must tell me at once so that I can speak to their parents. Now, take this inside and help your grandmother put our lunch things away.

Joy took the basket. It was almost bigger than she could manage. She hefted it higher and followed Maggie into the house.

Caleb took hold of the horse’s bridle. “I’ll put Bobby away.”

To Caleb’s surprise, his father didn’t go inside. Instead, he stood by and watched as Caleb unhitched the black gelding. As he led the horse to his stall, his father followed and stood outside the pen. Once Caleb had unbuckled the bellyband and the collar, he lifted the harness off Bobby and set it on the boards.

Ike took it and hung it on the pegs made to hold it. “Your daughter seems to like it here. The place she came from, it sounds like she was unhappy there.”

Caleb picked up a brush and began to rub down the horse. “I don’t think Joy has met with much kindness in her life. Handicapped children are not always welcomed in the
Englisch
world. Some see them as a burden.”

Ike stopped working and stared at Caleb. “And how do you see her?”

Chapter Seven

C
aleb stopped brushing and looked over the animal’s back at his father. “You mean do I see Joy as a burden?”

Ike began to wipe down the harness pieces with an oiled rag. “You bring her to us and say you intend to leave. What are we to think?”

“I’m sure it looks like I’m trying to get rid of her. I don’t know. Maybe that is what I’m doing. I wasn’t prepared to have a child, let alone one with Joy’s special needs. I tried to manage, but the harder I tried the more difficult she became. She hid from me. She ran away. She kept trying to go back to where her grandmother lived because she thought her mother would come find her there. I lived in constant fear that she would disappear and I wouldn’t be able to find her.”

“This fear I know well. I have lived with it for many years.”

Shame welled up in Caleb. “I have done some things that I’m not proud of in my life, but what I did to you and mother was cruel. I’m truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

“We forgave you long ago.”

“
Danki,
Father. If Joy can’t stay here with you, I don’t know what I will do.”

“Our ways are the best ways.
For us.
” He patted his chest for emphasis. “They are not best for everyone. You have chosen an
Englisch
life. This I cannot like, but I know a man must find his own way. Until you are certain why you brought Joy to us, I cannot say that she may stay.”

“You want to send her back into a world that is cruel and unjust to her?”

“It breaks my heart to say this, for she is flesh of my flesh, my own granddaughter, but you are her father. She belongs with you.”

“You sound like Leah. I can’t give Joy what she needs. She needs stability, a sense of belonging, a place where she can feel safe.”

“What she needs, what all children need, is love. If you give her that, all else will follow.”

Caleb started brushing Bobby again. “It’s not always that simple.”

“Which commandment did Jesus say was the first of all?”

“
Mark
12:28–31. ‘The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.’”

Ike smiled. “You have not forgotten all I have taught you.”

“No, not all.”

Ike grew solemn again. “Your brother doesn’t think I should allow you to stay here. He says you are unrepentant for the shame you brought on our family. Others in the church will agree with him.”

“Good old Wayne. Always the upstanding one. The one that never got into trouble.” He wasn’t proud of the bitterness that seeped into his tone. Leah had said not everyone had a forgiving nature. Like her, it was something he needed to work on.

Strange how often his thoughts turned to her and how much weight he gave to her words.

“You once looked at your brother with admiration and love, and he looked at you the same way. What came between the two of you?”

Caleb began putting away the grooming gear. “You know the story.”

“I know what you both have told me. What haven’t you told me?”

Caleb struggled with how to answer his father’s question. The barn was quiet; only the rustling of the animals in the nearby stalls broke the stillness. As much as he wanted to clear his name and mend his relationship with his father, he couldn’t do it. It wasn’t his secret to share. He had given his promise to Wayne and he wouldn’t go back on it.

“I wish I could tell you,
Daed,
but it’s between Wayne and me. Can you accept that?”

“It seems that I must,” Ike replied wearily.

“Do you want me to take my daughter and leave? I will. I don’t want to cause trouble for you.”

“What child doesn’t cause a father trouble?
Nee,
you may stay awhile longer. Your mother hopes you will stay until Christmas, at least.”

“I won’t leave before then unless you ask me to.”

“
Goot.
That will make your mother happy.”

The two walked back to the house side by side. Ike stopped and looked up. “It will snow soon.”

Caleb saw only clear blue sky. “Are your bones telling you that?”

“
Nee,
I heard the forecast on the radio at the feed store yesterday.”

Chuckling, Caleb shook his head. “I’ve forgotten how much of the outside world actually seeps into this community.”

“As long as we do not seek the things of the outside world for ourselves but keep
Gott
at the front of our lives, there is little harm in listening to the radio once in a while.”

“Especially when the Cleveland Indians are playing. How did they do this year?” His father, like a lot of Amish, loved baseball and followed local as well as national teams in the newspaper.

“Not as well as some, but there is always next year. Hope Springs had a
wunderbaar
girls’ softball team this year. Those Miller twins can sure hit a ball. They went all the way to the state championships, but they didn’t win. Reminded me of the time you and Wayne played for that team over by Berlin. You boys were
goot.
You made it to the state tournament, too.”

“And we didn’t win, either, but we had a great pitcher. Roman Weaver should have gone on to play pro ball. Is he still working with his
daed
at the sawmill?”

“
Nee,
Roman’s arm was crushed when a car hit his buggy. He is slowly getting better, but he has taken over his uncle’s printing business.”

By this time, they had reached the house. Caleb held the door open for his father to go in. His mother was already at the stove getting started on supper. Joy knelt on a chair in front of the sink, washing the dishes they had brought home from lunch. She grinned at him. “Look,
Daed,
I’m helping.”

“So you are.” He’d never seen anyone so excited to be washing plates.

“Nana never let me wash dishes ’cause Jake said I was too clumsy. I only dropped one glass and broke it so far.
Mammi
didn’t even get mad. She broke one, too.”

“Did she?” Ike looked to his wife for an explanation.

Maggie shrugged. “I told her it could happen to anyone and not to fret. Then it happened to me. We are keeping score. The one with the fewest broken dishes at the end of the year wins.”

Ike huffed. “I reckon I’ll be buying new plates before spring.”

Maggie grinned. “A new set for Christmas would be nice. These are old and chipped. What were you two talking about?”

She was still hopeful that Caleb would change his mind and stay. He read it in her eyes.

Ike gave a slight shake of his head. She turned back to the stove, but her shoulders drooped ever so slightly.

“I was telling Caleb about Roman Weaver’s accident.”

Maggie stirred a pot of stew. “He sure surprised us all when he married Joann Yoder last month. I thought she would stay a spinster forever. Would you like some
kaffi,
Ike?”

He shook his head. “Maybe later. I think I’ll read the Good Book for a while.”

Joy slid off her chair. “I’m finished.”

Ike looked over her work. “You’ve done a fine job. Would you like me to read you a story from the Bible?”

“I guess, since there isn’t any TV.”

Caleb slapped his palm over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. His father scowled at him but extended his hand to Joy. “I will read you a story about a great flood and how
Gott
saved Noah and all the animals.”

As his father and Joy left the kitchen, Caleb said, “I’ll take a cup of coffee if you have it ready.”

“Help yourself.”

He fetched a mug from the cupboard and filled it from the pot simmering on the back of the stove. “Speaking of spinsters, I’m amazed that Leah never married.”

He wasn’t sure he should broach the subject, but his mother was in a position to know Leah pretty well.

“It wasn’t from a lack of suitors. There were plenty of young fellows who wanted to walk out with her, but she never took to anyone after...”

“After Wayne married Rhonda.”

“Ja.”

“She must have loved him a lot.” Was it any wonder she hadn’t forgiven Caleb for his part in wrecking her dreams of a home and a family of her own?

His mother turned to him. “All things happen for a reason, Caleb.”

“I can’t imagine the reason for so many messed-up lives.” All because of him.

“Nor could I, but look into the other room. What do you see?”

He glanced over and saw his father in his favorite chair with Joy parked on his knee, listening intently as he read to her. “I see a little girl who is opening up, becoming the happy child I knew she could be.”

“
Ja. Gott
sends such special children to a family for a special reason. He sent her to you. He has a reason. I, for one, am very, very grateful for His gift. You should be, too. Now, I must get some plums from the cellar. Your father loves to have plums for dessert on Sunday night.” She opened the door at the back of the kitchen and took a lamp with her as she went downstairs.

Caleb sipped his coffee as he listened to the story his father was reading. He hadn’t thought of Joy as a gift. He’d only seen the problems she presented. He was guilty of seeing her disability and not her abilities as surly as the people who’d made him angry when they looked away from her or called her retarded.

No more. From now on, he would focus on the positive things his daughter brought to him.

Coming here was meant to benefit Joy. It turned out that he was also reaping the benefits of his parents’ wisdom and faith. He had let an important part of himself wither away when he shut God out of his life.

A special child given for a special reason. Maybe his mother was right. Without Joy, he might never have come back to his family and to God.

He took his coffee into the living room and sat on the sofa next to his father and Joy. He listened to his father read the Bible and watched a whole new world open up for his child.

* * *

“I want to see the puppies. Pickles is missing me, I know she is. You don’t want her to be unhappy, do you?”

Joy had been bugging Caleb for the past three days to visit Leah. He was running out of excuses. They were sitting on the back step, shelling black walnuts for his mother. She intended to bake black walnut cookies for an upcoming cookie exchange. The snow that had fallen on Sunday night was melting in the bright sunshine. His mother was doing her laundry at the propane-powered wringer washer on the back porch.

He cracked another shell and handed it to Joy to pick out the nut meat. “Honey, Leah may not be home.”

“Call her and see.”

“I can’t call her. She doesn’t have a phone. The Amish don’t use telephones in their homes.”

“That’s just silly.”

“It may seem silly to you, but it is not silly to Leah, or to grandpa and grandma. You can write her a letter and ask if you may come visit Pickles. In a few days you will have your answer.”

“But I don’t want to wait a few days. I want to see Pickles today.”

“Not today. I’m sorry. I will help you write your letter.” He was learning to be firm with her. She hadn’t had a meltdown since the one when they arrived in Hope Springs, but he knew it wouldn’t take much to trigger another.

His mother came through the screen door with a basket of laundry in her arms. “Why the long face on such a beautiful day, Joy?”

“Daddy says I can’t go see my puppy, and I’m sad.”

Maggie looked to Caleb for an explanation. “Leah showed Joy her puppies the first day we came to town. She allowed Joy to name one. Since then, this kid has been bugging me to take her back to see them again.”

“There’s no reason you can’t go visit Leah this evening.”

A rush of eagerness filled Caleb at the thought of seeing Leah again. He was being foolish, but he couldn’t help it. There was something special about her. It was more than the way she treated Joy. It was something he couldn’t define. Simply being in her company made him happy. Did she feel the same way? Would she miss him when he was gone?

“Joy, can you help me hang the clothes on the line so they will dry?” his mother asked.

“Sure, but why don’t you just put them in the dryer?”

Caleb put aside his hammer and followed them to the clothesline. Maggie set her basket down and raised her hands to the sky. “This is my clothes dryer. The good Lord has given me sunshine today. My clothes will be dry enough in no time. Didn’t your Nana have a clothesline?”