Amish Redemption (Erotic Romance) (Amish Heart Trilogy) (8 page)

It was the day after
Christmas.  Rebekah had worked the day before so she and Rachel were having their quiet holiday today. 
It is all for Rachel
, she thought as she watched her child gleefully unwrap the few presents that Santa had brought her.  Rebekah didn’t feel much like celebrating.  A hole had been left in her heart that she had tried unsuccessfully to fill with mothering Rachel.  She knew what had created the hole, but had no idea what could be done to fix it. 

In all the sappy movies she had seen—and bawled through
while clutching a Kleenex box—the heroine’s loss was only remedied by getting a new love.  Rebekah didn’t want a new love.  She wanted Nick or no one.  Yet the movies made Rebekah question what such a love might be like.  She knew it would happen sooner or later, she was only twenty one and couldn’t spend the rest of her life alone . . . could she?  Would it even be good for Rachel to be raised without a father figure?  Rebekah balked, however, at trying to imagine the man she might eventually fall in love with.  He wouldn’t be like Nick.  Nobody could measure up to him. 

She was concluding, as she had done time and again since Nick’s death, that having anyone in her life would be grossly unfair to the new suitor because she could never love him as she had loved Nick when a knock at the door disturbed her reverie.  She hadn’t been expecting anyone but suspected it might be a neighbor man who had been annoyingly hanging
around lately, asking her out.  Coldly, time after time she had put him off.  It was easy to justify.  He had no job and she saw him outside the apartment late at night when she would return from work, drinking beer and smoking something that smelled sickeningly sweet with his friends. While she didn’t think him a bad person, she didn’t consider him good daddy material for Rachel.  She was ready to turn him down once more upon opening the door.  Instead joy made her heart leap.

Standing at the door was her mother. 
Constance Bontrager hadn’t changed a bit. Rebekah was overwhelmed. Despite the fact Rebekah had been shunned by the Amish Community, her mother was
here.
Crying happy tears, Rebekah threw her arms around her and half dragged her into the apartment.  She couldn’t stop hugging her. 

“How are you?”  They both asked at the same time and laughed.  Rachel looked up from her toy doll pots and pan set. 

“I’m fine Mother, I’m good.  Rachel is good.”  She suppressed a sob. “I’ve missed you terribly.” 

“I’ve missed you, too.”  Constance Bontrager squeezed her daughter happily then became solemn.
“We heard he died.”

She can’t bear to say Nick’s name ,
Rebekah thought. 

“Yes, last July.”

“I’m sorry you are grieving.” 

Rebekah could not believe her mother said it.  In fact, she couldn’t believe her mother was there at all. 
Being shunned by the Amish Community meant not even her own family was allowed to speak to her, or even eat with her.  That her mother would express sympathy over her losing her English lover was almost unthinkable.  “Thank you.”

After a moment of silence, Rebekah said, “Well come in and sit down!  It is so good to see you!  How is Father?”

Constance sat at the kitchen table with her daughter.  “He’s gud.”

Rebekah asked after her sisters, her nephew Eli whom Constance was raising, and all relations far away.  All, her mother assured her, were well.

Then her mother said, “Rebekah, come back.  Your family needs and wants you.”

“But I am shunned.”

“If you come back and are repentant, it would not be so.”

Rebekah
’s eyes flickered over to Rachel.  As if to answer her unspoken question, Constance said, “Only Ezekiel and I know that the child is not his.”  Rebekah did not know what to think.  It was very unusual that the entire Amish Community would not know of her adultery.

“Why do people think I left?” 

She only said one word, but it made perfect sense: “Jakob.” 

In truth, Rebekah was thunderstruck.  She had never for a moment considered returning to the Amish Community.  She looked at her mother and homesickness
inundated her.  Yet, did she really want to return to the Community after having been English for over two years?  Or was it simply that she felt beaten down?  Once there, would she feel any different?  Maybe she needed to make her own way in the world.  Only, she didn’t know what the value in being isolated could be.  But could she really return to an Amish life?

She tried to consider what English life had to offer her. 
Technology.  Aside from the wonders of refrigeration, showers and central air, she couldn’t think what else was so fascinating about it.  She worked just as hard, if not harder as an English than she had as an Amish, and her only reward was the small amount of time she got to spend with Rachel.  In spite of all the love she had for her daughter, she had to admit, it wasn’t enough. She would have more time to spend with Rachel living in the Community.

She tried to
envision her life back in her father’s house.  Surely that would cause a stir in the Community.  Rumors would fly then.  “But, how would it work?”

Her mother smiled and pressed her hands on Rebekah’s.  “So you want to come back?”

As she looked at it now, English life felt empty and lonely.  She realized that she had never felt that way, in her father’s home.  Life had a purpose.  She had actually been happy.  She remembered the way she used to hum and sing.  She hadn’t done that in a long time.  But was it because she was in mourning for Nick?

“What if I’m not happy there?”

“Are you happy here?”

“Without Nick?
  No.”

Her mother flinched slightly at Nick’s name. 
I wonder if it will always be a tender spot between us,
Rebekah thought. 

“You need family now,” Constance said quietly.

Tears clouded Rebekah’s eyes.  Her mother was right.  She did need family now.  She had found happiness in Amish life; she could find it again.  She nodded, wetness splashing onto her cheeks.

“
Gud!”  Constance got up.  She went over, opened the door and motioned someone inside.  Mystified Rebekah wondered who would be out there.  Not her father.  Maybe Hannah, her sister . . . then he walked through the open door.  Rebekah glared, aghast.

There stood Ezekiel Yoder, her husband.

“You two can work things out,” said Constance and then she left, closing the door behind her.

“What are you doing here?”

He regarded Rachel warmly, “She’s gotten big.”

Rebekah became snappish.  “What do you want?”

“Come home.”  His blue eyes fell on hers.  There was a momentary connection which threw her off guard.

“W-why?”

“I need you to come home.”

She snorted, “I’m sure if you can get your lazy mother off her ass you will do just fine.  You don’t need me.”

He ignored her ire.  “I do need you.”

“Why?”  In her mind she was thinking,
cleaning, laundry, joyless fucking . . .

“Because, I love you.”

She was floored.  He had said it publicly in court but had never bothered to say it to her. 
He had never bothered to show me before and now when I am at her most vulnerable he shows up to tell me so and manipulate me into coming back to him.
Anger blazed within her.

  “Well, I don’t love you!”

Ezekiel remained unruffled.  Somehow, that made her madder.

“Why not?”

“What?”  Had she heard him correctly?

“Why not?  You say you don’t love me and I know that is true.  I just think I’m entitled to know why not.”

“Why should I love you?  You never did anything to make me love you.”

“I was a good provider to you.  I was never mean to you.”

“And you let your damned mother walk all over me and the children!  You smoke, you stink, you have disgusting breath and you never, ever
, satisfied me sexually!”  She was shouting, but she didn’t care.  All the repulsion that she had felt toward her husband was finally coming out and it was as if she had no control over her mouth. 

“I never satisfied you . . . ?”  Ezekiel looked confused.

“No, you never told me or showed me in any fashion that you love me.  I didn’t even think you liked me until you said it that day in court.”

“I never satisfied you . . . ?”  He stood there like a light was dawning inside of him.

“Did I ever act satisfied?”

“Women
. . . can be . . . satisfied?”

It was too much. 
Flabbergasted, she didn’t know whether it was humorous or just contemptible.  Finally, she decided it was the latter and raised her voice again.  “Out!  Just get out!”

“But I
—”

“Out!”
She yelled, pointing at the door.

He looked down and then turned and left. 

Rebekah stood until her anger left her, whereby she sank into a chair and began to laugh until her laughter turned into salty, grief-stricken tears.

Rebekah sat anxiously
unfolding and refolding the letter from her mother.  Her mother wrote that she had spoken to Ezekiel and was convinced of his desire to please Rebekah.  She said he wanted to see her and begged Rebekah to listen before turning him away.  Rebekah had reluctantly written back that she would listen but could make no promises of the outcome.

A few weeks after Nick’s death, Rebekah had received a letter from her attorney stating that Ezekiel was contesting the divorce.  Grieving, she had not even gone to the court hearing and told her attorney to drop the matter, lacking the money to pay him further.
 

             
Now Ezekiel was due to arrive at any time.  She tucked the letter into the bedside table drawer along with her scriptures.  In the bathroom, she peered critically at her own reflection. 
Why do I even care what I look like?
  Her thought was rueful. 
It’s not like I want to impress him or anything
.  Then, contrarily, she picked up a pale rose colored lipstick and artfully applied some.

             
Because I love her so much.
  Those had been Ezekiel’s words in court of the day of Jakob’s trial.  Although he had known about her love for Nick, he had loved her anyway. 
Well, he should have done something to show it
, she fumed. 

             
Then she realized he had.  He hadn’t had her and Rachel shunned when he righteously could have.  He lied in court in order to get Jakob, his own son, convicted of raping her.  Neither were small gestures for an Amish man. 

A knock came at the door and she rubbed her lips together in the mirror.  Nervous dampness covered her palms.  Wiping her hands on her skirt, she went to open the door.

A different Ezekiel stood in her doorway, carrying a large cardboard box.  Not only was he washed and combed and in clean clothes, but his greying beard had been trimmed to look neat and the hair that had always protruded from his nose and ears was gone.  He flashed a smile at her, revealing white teeth and Rebekah realized with a shock that he must have gone to the dentist. 
Unusual for a penny-pinching Amish
, she mused.  There was something else very distinctly different about him, but she had a hard time pinpointing it until he spoke. 

He thrust the box at her.  “Here are some things for you.”  With his words
she smelled his breath and instantly knew what was different.  He no longer stank. 
Has he given up smoking?

She put the box down on the kitchen table.  It was filled to the brim with food:  a half of home-smoked ham, fresh
ly butchered chicken, a loaf of bread, eggs, milk probably from this morning’s milking, and on top, a homemade Shoofly pie.

She put the food into the refrigerator with thanks, after cutting a piece of pie and pouring a glass of milk for Rachel.  Rachel ate the delicious confection with her dark eyes on Ezekiel.  Ezekiel pulled out of his coat pocket a small carved doll and gave it to her.

“Say ‘thank you?’”  Rebekah prompted her daughter.

Shyly, Rachel said, “Thank you” to Ezekiel
and commenced playing with her doll.  He smiled at her.

At Rebekah’s questioning look, he said, “I made it for her for Christmas.”

She felt a little guilty.  “And I threw you out before you could give it to her.”

“Yes,” he said, but there was humor in his eyes.  Rebekah was surprised. 

Rachel left the table and took the doll into her bedroom to play. Rebekah and Ezekiel sat down together on the couch.  He was almost uncomfortably close.

“Rebekah, I want to make you happy.  Please tell me how.”
 

“I don’t know that it’s possible
—”

“Pretend it is.”

She looked at him speechless for a moment before replying.  “Show me you love me.”

“How?”

“Tell me, kiss me, touch me—”

He broke off her words with his lips coming down upon hers, brushing gently at first but then with great consuming need.  His tongue darted out to caress
her lips, and slipping between them to gently possess her tongue.  Her pulse quickened markedly and a familiar warmth started to grow within her groin. His beard, smelling like soap, tickled her face as he yet deepened his kiss. His hands moved up to cradle her head between them and she melted both at his touch and was shocked that
he knew how to kiss
.  She was even more shocked to discover that she liked it.

Drawing away from her at last, his blue eyes gazed fiercely into hers.   “I love you.”
 

Still recovering from the kiss, all she could say was, “Wow.”

He grinned and scooped her up in his strong arms, carrying her toward the bedroom. 
Wait a minute!
  She had not expected this from him at all. 

“Stop
!  What are you doing?”  She was fairly sputtering.

He tossed her lightly on the bed and
got on top of her.  “I am,” he said, kissing her once more, “making love to my wife.” 

He
r mind rebelled.  She was
Nick’s
wife, not Ezekiel’s.  But . . . Nick was dead.  And, well . . . she
was
Ezekiel’s wife.  If she wanted to come back to the Amish Community, she would have to be Ezekiel’s wife.  She wasn’t certain she liked that thought—but then Ezekiel kissed her again.

This time, he allowed the full
magnitude of the love that he had felt for her for so long communicate through the tender touch of his lips and tongue.  He laid open his heart and laid it at her feet and she could tell that he not only loved her, but he worshiped her. The kiss was gentle yet Rebekah felt him inside her in a way she had not experienced before.  It seemed that kiss was the most intimate thing that anyone had ever done to her.

It struck her that he had always loved her, but had simply
been clueless on how to show her.  He had wanted during the time they were together to be passionate with her, but had no idea how a woman’s body worked or that women even had sexual needs.  She smiled.  She had tremendous sexual needs.  It was up to her to show him how to fulfill them.

Moving off of her slightly, his hands were moving on his
fly.  Slap!  She struck his hands sharply.  Shocked, he looked at her for an explanation.

“Not so fast.  Women need time to warm up.”

His next question startled and delighted her.  “How do I . . . warm you up?”

She placed his
hand on her rounded breast under her blouse. He squeezed lightly, massaging around the orb.  First one . . . then the other.  She moaned softly.  Visibly stirred, he pushed her bra out of the way and found her nipples.  He tugged and rubbed them between his fingers until they were puckered and elongated.

“Suck them.”

He brushed his beard against each nipple, causing it to stiffen even further.  Softly his mouth mounted on her breast and sucked, pulling back from on the nipple as he sucked harder.  It caused her breath to hitch and the warmth that was spreading in her groin to fill her thighs.  Moisture was accumulating in her folds and she wanted Ezekiel to be aware of her response to him.  As he sucked on the other nipple, she took his hand and, slipping her panties down, put his fingers within her feminine lips.

Stricken, he pulled his face away from her breast and looked at her face searchingly.   “Mein
Gott!”

Amused, she said, “That means I want you.”

He slipped out of his suspenders and his hands flew back to his pants snaps.  Whack!  She slapped his hand again, harder.

“Not until I say.  Getting me wet is just the beginning.”

He was stunned.  She took her panties off and said, “Look at me down here.  Touch me here,” she traced her finger along her lips, both inner and outer.  “And here,” she indicated her clitoris.  “Like this.”  She stroked herself around and around and up and down.  “Put your fingers inside me and touch me on the outside at the same time.” 

Just telling him what to do
made her even wetter.  He did not hesitate.  He inserted a finger, then two inside her with one hand and moved the fingers of his other hand as she had directed him, moving around and around her clit, stroking straight up the center and down and then up again.  She moaned and undulated and he obviously reveled in the pleasure he was causing her.

“Move your fingers in and out of me.”  He complied and her hips lifted slightly,
starting a dance that only the complete satiation of their passion could end.  “Faster!”  The order came as a gasp.  Her desire gathered force mounting ever higher.  The walls of her vagina ached for him.  She wanted to feel him inside of her.  His hands became intuitive, pushing on and around her clit in response to her movements. 
Almost as if he can feel what I feel. 
He thrust his fingers deeply within her and pinched her nub while moving it still up and down.  The cannon of need that had launch within her ripped through her frame, making her squeeze her thighs together and arch her back, screaming.  Ezekiel pinched her clit again and again spasms overtook her.  Connecting his actions to her reactions, he laughed jubilantly, like a child with a new toy and pinched again and again until she pushed his hands away from her too-sensitive parts.

“Mein
Gott!”  He exclaimed again, once more reaching for his pants. 

She slapped him, this time across the face.  “Not until I say, you got that?”

Nonplussed, he simply stared at her.  “Got it.”

She got off the bed.  “Okay, lie down on the
middle of the bed.”  She went and got a pair of her pantyhose.  Using scissors, she cut them in half at the panty.  Then she took his right hand and tied it tightly at the wrist with the one half of the stocking, securing it flat on the bed by tying the other end of the stocking onto upper leg of the bed.  She bound the left hand by the same means with the other half of the stocking on the opposite side of the bed.

With what she knew was teasing slowness, she removed her clothing:  first her blouse, then her bra, then finally, her skirt.  She stood before him, happily nude
.
So different than our wedding night over three years ago.
She didn’t care what he thought.  She was finally teaching him a lesson.  When she was finished with him, he would know what good fucking was.

Just to tease him further, she put one foot up on the bed
and ran her fingers along her folds slowly.  He yelped, “Ah!  You’ve got the devil in you!”  But his face was shining with greedy lust.

She straddled him and one by one removed the safet
y pins holding his shirt closed and pulled back the fabric.  She sat back and marveled.  His body had gone through a transformation since she had last seen it.  No longer was he portly. Instead he bore a well-muscled chest and stomach.  Greying blonde curls covered his chest and trailed down his stomach, becoming wider at his navel and disappearing into his pants.  Without warning, she bent, biting him playfully on the neck . . . then the chest.  She sucked on each of his nipples which were puckered and taut as hers were. 

Sitting back on his knees, she found the large bulge in his trousers with her hands and sweetly stroked him up and down.  She put her mouth on it and breathed hot air through his trousers.  Again,
with agonizing slowness, she unhooked his pants and tugged them down along with his underwear.  He eagerly lifted his hips to be accommodating. Getting off him, she removed his pants entirely, exposing his enormous erection.  She touched the red tip, gingerly drawing around the cap and then down the inside.  Clear fluid seeped from the opening.  She spread the liquid around on the head with one fingertip.  Her mouth encircled his cock and he looked like he might faint. 

Making her mouth into a wet, tight, suctioning pussy, she moved up and down on his inflamed cock.  She swirled her tongue around . . . and around and sucked up and down . .
.up and . . . down.  He made strangling sounds in the back of his throat and moved his hips in time to her lips.  She realized he was getting a bit too excited and withdrew.  He whimpered.  She smiled mischievously. Now she had him. 

She straddled his face.  “Make your tongue do what your fingers were doing a while ago.”

“How?  I only have one tongue.”

“Get creative.”

He put his mouth on her and sucked in her clit sharply.  She gasped, pleasure jolting through her body.  He sucked while his tongue lashed back and forth on her clit, gentle and slow, hard and fast until she was breathless and shaking.  He began making biting motions, grazing her clitoris with his teeth.  She groaned, ache for him building up inside of her again.  She wanted him inside her desperately.  Arousal was dripping out of her into his mouth, fueling his thirst for her. 

Rebekah
withdrew and straddled his hips, picking up his erection and placing it just at her entrance.  “Now, I’m going to fuck you and you are going to be a good boy and take it.  If you come before I say you can, I will punish you.  If you are a good boy and wait, then I will untie you and you can do whatever you want.  Understand?”