Amorous Overnight (37 page)

Cecine winced. “Thank you for that reminder, but I’m well aware he’s…unhappy serving me.” It was a bitter thing to admit Hastion
endured
service to him. “You may rest assured that, now that Shelley is available to me, I’ll make no further demands upon him.”

“Minister…Cecine…” Shauss frowned for a moment and then leaned forward, “…I would make three observations about Hastion. First, he witnessed the intimacy between Tiber and me from its earliest stages. Though he was quite ill from Jasmine’s pheromones, he watched avidly when I claimed Tiber and was so accepting, it never occurred to us to hide our feelings for each other in his presence.”

Before Cecine had time to draw any conclusions about what he was saying, Shauss continued, “Second, he craves attention and approval from authority figures, something I comprehended more fully after witnessing his interactions with his father. His need to earn the approval of his superiors is part of what makes him such an outstanding warrior. But I believe his needs go deeper than that, deeper than he would ever be comfortable confessing. To anyone.”

Cecine nodded reluctantly. “I have suspected he needs something I do not provide. He seems to hold back…a great deal.”
Everything. He holds back everything and gives me only what he must.
The idea made his jaw clench.

“He’s not the only one holding back, is he?” When Cecine looked away, Shauss said, “You’re the dominant, Cecine, and he’s very vulnerable. You shouldn’t expect him to lay out his secrets for you if you’re not willing to do the same for him.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” Cecine told him in a cool tone. “Your third observation?”

Shauss sighed. “I have suspected since the probe demonstration that Hastion might receive the sexual advances of males and females with equal interest. If he weren’t Jasmine’s brother, I would have kept him as second and claimed him as thoroughly as I’ve claimed Tiber. He’s a beautiful specimen, and because he’s so profoundly submissive, I would have had absolutely no qualms about piercing him with my own hand in a dozen different places, beginning with his cock and balls. Then after I’d beaten him for my own enjoyment, I’d have marked him with tattoos proclaiming my ownership, fastened a collar and leash on him, and paraded him around the planet naked to show him off.”

Stunned, Cecine opened his mouth and then closed it again. Before he could pull himself together to speak, Shauss added, “And he would have been thrilled by all of it.”

After they swam, Hastion and the commander rinsed off under the shower by the stairs and then sat nude on the deck, drying in the warm air.

“Something on your mind, Ensign?” Kellen said.

“We claimed Shelley last night. Fully.”

Kellen looked surprised but not displeased. “She was amenable?”

“Surprisingly so, sir, although matters were a little unsettled this morning.”

“I suppose since our Houses are joined, you should call me Kellen in private.”

Hastion squirmed inwardly. It didn’t feel any more right to call the commander by his given name than it would the minister. “Perhaps not right away. I might accidentally call you that in front of the other warriors.”

A smile tugged at the corners of the commander’s lips. “Whatever you’re most comfortable with.”

“Thank you, sir. I’m still a little concerned about how she’ll react to the news that we’ve been mated for months already.”

“Why does she have to find out?”

Hastion blinked. “Sir, I don’t know if I can live with that deception for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t see any reason to tell her. Isn’t it kinder just to let her believe it all unfolded naturally?”

“Would you keep such a secret from Monica?”

Kellen frowned. “Possibly. It’s in the past and there’s nothing she can do to change it. The deception was for her own good. Why upset her unnecessarily?”

“I think she’d want to know.”

“Of course she would. But what we want isn’t always what’s best for us, is it?” When Hastion didn’t reply, he continued, “If Shelley’s happy in her ignorance, I’d just as soon you left her that way. If she finds out and tells Monica, I’ll have hell to pay.”

Hastion grinned at him. “So you want me to lie to protect you from Monica.”

“Damn straight,” Kellen said. “To tell you the truth, I’m a bit concerned how she’ll react to the news of their being mated. He is her father, after all.”

“She’s fair-minded. She’ll recover sooner or later.”

“She carries a grudge, though. It could be much later than I care to wait.”

They grinned at each other and then rose to dress.

When they made their way to Shelley’s room, Monica looked like a thundercloud.

“Let’s go, Kellen,” she snarled.

Hastion looked at him.
“Uh-oh.”

“No, Ensign, I believe that look warrants an ‘oh shit,’”
Kellen sent back. “But I haven’t had a chance to congratulate Shelley—”

“I don’t think she’s in the mood to be congratulated.”

Hastion’s stomach contracted. Shelley looked terrible, distant and upset, as she stared out at the sea. What in the Powers’ name had happened?

Putting her hand on Shelley’s shoulder, Monica said, “Call me if you need me. For anything,” she added with an ominous look at Hastion. Then she walked out.

Kellen nodded at him.
“I’ll be available if you need me, as well.”

“Thank you, sir.”

After the commander departed, he sat beside her. “Shelley, what’s wrong?”

When he reached for her hand, she drew away and Hastion grew genuinely frightened. “Shelley, please tell me.”

She finally looked at him. “You tell me, Hastion—how long have you been my mate?”

He froze. Oh Peserin’s hell, he’d known they were going to regret that deception. He just hadn’t realized they would regret it within the hour. “Since the day the twins were born.”

Her face crumpled. “Oh my God.”

“Shelley, the minister thought you should have time to recover from the shock of losing your husband before being informed of the mating. He was—we
all
were afraid you’d do something dangerous if you felt trapped into a mating.”

“Bastards,” she sobbed.

“Shelley, please.”

She drew her knees up under the covers, wrapping her arms around them and hiding her face in them. “I can’t believe I fell in love with rotten, lying, scheming aliens again,” she choked out. “What the fuck is the matter with me?”

“Shelley, I love you. I
love
you,” Hastion said desperately. “Please believe me.”

“Go away. Just go away and leave me alone!”

Chapter Nineteen

Cecine took his time walking from the landing area up to his house, considering all he’d seen and discussed that evening. Perhaps it was time to stop being fearful and begin to trust, to confront Hastion with the truth of what he wanted.

But his viscera were tight with anxiety. What if Hastion recoiled in horror at the idea and petitioned the council to be released from their bond? Worse, what if he made public Cecine’s desires and the council cut
him
from the bond instead of Hastion?

Most unthinkable, what if Hastion took his own life, as Draeda had, rather than be the object of his abnormal desires?

You didn’t give Draeda the chance to reject your desires,
logic insisted.

But Draeda had died because of them anyway. Antani had somehow intuited how Cecine felt about him and used it to torture them both to the point of death. The same thing could happen to Hastion. He’d already been attacked by Ensign Mikal, and the male hadn’t acted alone—two others had helped, and several more had merely stood by and allowed it to happen.

When Cecine learned that, it had taken considerable strength of will not to drag each and every one of them into the arena and publicly punish them for being slaves to fear and hatred.

So why, then, was he allowing himself to be ruled by his own fear?

His emotions were entirely too close to the surface when he walked into the house, and he was almost unnerved to find Hastion waiting at the door, barefoot and comfortably dressed in tunic and mabi pants.

“I’m glad you’re back, sir,” Hastion said at once. “Something terrible has happened. Shelley—”

“Why didn’t you contact me at once?” Alarmed, Cecine started toward the stairs. “Have you summoned Tysan?”

“She’s not ill, sir.”

Cecine turned with a frown. “What, then?”

“She found out about our deception.”

“How?”

“I’m guessing Monica told her. She and the commander came to visit Shelley, and the commander and I went out for a swim. When we returned, Monica was furious and Shelley was almost hysterical.” Hastion’s heart ached at having left her alone. “I tried to talk to her but she ordered me out of the room and I left to avoid upsetting her further.”

Cecine continued to the stairs and took them three at a time. When he reached her room, he opened the door and found the room dark.

“Lights on fifty percent,” he ordered.

When the lights came up, Shelley was curled in a ball under her blanket.

Stifling a rush of remorse, Cecine sat on the bed behind her. “Shelley, we should discuss this like adults.”

“You should fuck off, you lying sack of alien shit,” came the nasal reply.

Annoyance rose but he tamped it down. “I apologize for the deception but I felt it was best for you, and so did Dr. Tiber.”

She rolled over and propped up on her elbows, glaring at him with swollen eyes. “For me?” she said incredulously.

“Yes, for you.”

“You could have given me a choice!”

“Oh? You really think you could have made the choice between being mated to me and being parted from your children right after they were born?”

She sat up straighter. “Parted from them! They’re
my
children!”

“And I am their father,” he said flatly. “Because your husband no longer lived when they were born aboard my ship, they were Garathani citizens under our laws and I assumed full responsibility for their protection. Your only options were to mate with me or return to Earth without them.”

When her mouth worked soundlessly, he continued, “I chose to withhold the news of our mating to give you time to recover from your loss and get over your fears. You said yourself that you were unreasonably frightened and prejudiced against us.”

“Oh no, you did not just throw my words back in my face. I said that because I trusted you, and look what it got me.”

“Shelley, by protecting you from the news of our mating, you had time to get to know us naturally and came to care for us just as we came to care for you.”

“Oh yeah, you cared for me so much you had to risk my life to turn me into one of you,” she said harshly.

The breath stilled in Cecine’s lungs. “What are you talking about?”

“And now you’re going to act like you don’t know why I turned into a hose hound and started having blackouts and feeling like shit?”

He shook his head. “I don’t.”

“You’re telling me you know nothing about the
retrogressive neogenesis
?” she asked in a nasty tone.

Cecine swore. “That’s a classified project. Where in Peserin’s name did you hear about it?”

“What does it matter? I know now, and I’m so fucking pissed I’d like to rip your fucking head off, you bastard.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I did care about you, dammit, and I hate you for that.”

“Minister, what is she talking about?”

He glanced up at Hastion, who looked wary now. “A med-science project. But Shelley, that has nothing to do with you. Yes, I ordered you prepared for it, but it hasn’t been initiated and it never will. Once I realized you could take me as you are, I informed Tysan I no longer wished to proceed with it.”

“Bullshit! I’m already starting to go through the transition.”

“No, you’re not,” he said, his patience wearing thin. “You were given a preloading regimen to help you gain weight and prepare you for—”

“What!” she screeched. “You mean you made me fat
on purpose
?”

“Shelley—”

She punched him hard on the chest. “Jesus Christ, you fucking asshole! I was
killing
myself trying to keep the weight off. I hardly ate anything and I was starving.”

“You weren’t starving,” Cecine ground out. “You were loaded with calories.”

“I wanted to eat
food
!” She started beating on his chest with both hands. “I denied myself almost everything I wanted for months and it was for nothing!”

He pulled her against him and held her, his insides tight with regret. “I’m sorry about that, I truly am. But that’s all that was done to you. I swear it on my life.”

“You’re lying.”

“Armitran, summon Dr. Tysan,” he said. “Tell him to flare to this room immediately for an emergency.”

“Affirmative.”

A few seconds later, Tysan appeared, looking harried. “You summoned me, sir?”